Please be my WTT buddie

[LadyVictoria]

Im sorry LadyV Hope the celebration tonight can take your mind off of things.

I’m sorry this wasn’t your month! Baby dust going forward—enjoy your wine! You’ve earned it!

Thanks, ladies. Spending time with family helped. The party was lovely and my husband's brother stuck around at the end of the night to have a drink with us (I had water at that point) and shared his and his wife's experience with infertility. There were issues on both sides and they did a year of IUIs before moving on to IVF, which is how they conceived all 3 of their children. He said to trust my gut if I feel like something is wrong and that it can't hurt to get checked out. So as much as I hate AF, I'm looking forward to moving on to blood work and my husband's semen analysis to see what we're really working with.

 

[Flueky88]

LadyV glad you guys could connect to someone in real life who struggled. Sometimes infertility, not that it's been diagnosed yet, can feel so lonely and people don't understand. Ugh I hated the "it'll happen when you aren't obsessing about it" comments.

 

[Mom15]

Im glad you have a game plan set up! Nothing wrong with a little testing.

 

[LadyVictoria]

LadyV glad you guys could connect to someone in real life who struggled. Sometimes infertility, not that it's been diagnosed yet, can feel so lonely and people don't understand. Ugh I hated the "it'll happen when you aren't obsessing about it" comments.

Yeah it helps, especially since they're so close to each other. I hate everyone's comments on the situation. From those who do not know that we're trying asking us about when we'll have pretty babies to those who do know saying that "they have a feeling" it's going to happen soon. I love my mom and sisters dearly, but those feelings aren't doing me any good, and make me feel like I'm letting them down every month that it doesn't happen.

I had a little spotting after I used the bathroom this morning so I'm assuming AF is on her way. The papers for my blood work say to count the "fist sign of period" as CD1 so I will be getting my blood work on Friday, and hubby will be giving his SA sample then too. Then I can spend all weekend wondering about our results lol

Im glad you have a game plan set up! Nothing wrong with a little testing.

It helps to feel like we're moving forward in some way. I don't want anything to be wrong with us, but I think I'd also feel stumped if nothing is wrong and it just ends up taking us a while for no reason at all. Whoever said baby making was fun never had to try! I feel like this is one of the biggest lies of my life lol

 

[LadyVictoria]

Why is non-TTC sex SO much better than TTC sex? After a much needed break, hubby and I had some fun this weekend, and I can't believe the difference. I think that part of it is mental, since sex was always just for fun before and TTC sex actually has a purpose... but also I think that a rest period in between really helps! Oh well. I was just looking at my apps and my fertile window is next week! I'm not getting my hopes up, but perhaps the time off from work will help us relax and enjoy each other more since I won't have to work at all. I'm SO looking forward to it! And hopefully we'll have hubby's SA results at the end of the week. I don't know if it's something they'll tell us over the phone or if we'll have to go in though.

 

[Flueky88]

Lady I agree. I was more relaxed ttc #2 so sex was better while ttc especially during fertile window. I think it was because I trusted that my body would conceive again. I had so much fear ttc #1 that something was wrong and it took away the fun factor.

That's great that fertile window is next week are you both off through the week or just a couple days?? I'm not sure if they give results over the phone or in the office.

 

[LadyVictoria]

Lady I agree. I was more relaxed ttc #2 so sex was better while ttc especially during fertile window. I think it was because I trusted that my body would conceive again. I had so much fear ttc #1 that something was wrong and it took away the fun factor.

That's great that fertile window is next week are you both off through the week or just a couple days?? I'm not sure if they give results over the phone or in the office.

My husband has a pretty flexible schedule but he's off now and I will be off until the new year starting Friday. So we'll both have lots of free time and I'm looking for fun holiday things we can do around town.

I forgot to ask the next steps after we get our testing done. I'll have to wait until January 2 to get my CD21 blood work (it will be CD22 for me though) so I'm not sure if they'll see us before that or if we'll have to wait. More waiting! lol

 

[LadyVictoria]

Girls, I got some crushing news yesterday when my doctor’s office called about the results of my CD3 blood work and hubby’s SA. All is well with me, but his SA came back with no sperm in the sample. It’s hard to find the words to describe how devastated I feel. I spent the first two years of our marriage so excitedly looking forward to finally starting to try for our first child. To know that all of my efforts and preparation in the past 6 months were for nothing is heart breaking. To know that all of the vitamins, supplements, cleanses, diet changes, and tracking couldn’t have possibly made a difference is soul crushing. I feel robbed of our precious time and energy. I feel like a fool for getting my hopes up month after month. I was so excited about my fertile window being next week while I’m off for the holidays, but it doesn’t even matter now.

While I grapple with these emotions, I am at least grateful that I followed my gut and pushed for testing sooner rather than later. I didn’t let people’s “it hasn’t even been that long” comments dissuade me from getting checked out. I’m still trying to figure out the lesson in all of this pain, but trusting your gut along this journey is a huge takeaway. We will move forward with seeing a urologist and I can only hope and pray that this is fixable. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

[Flueky88]

Oh lady I hope tht there is something the urologist can do. Absolutely devestating to hear that news. I'm sure he's feeling awful too. I'm glad you pushed ahead and sought testing.

 

[TWO2TANGO]

So sorry to hear about your husbands SA. I can only imagine how devastated you are. I have no words but I hope the urologist has some someway to help you two.

 

[LadyVictoria]

Oh lady I hope tht there is something the urologist can do. Absolutely devestating to hear that news. I'm sure he's feeling awful too. I'm glad you pushed ahead and sought testing.

Thank you. He didn't take it well at first (but who would?) and was in denial that it could be right, but after he spent some time alone, he came around and honestly seemed more concerned about my feelings. I was SO devastated and tried not to show that, but he knows how badly I've been wanting a baby so I think he feels like he's let me down. I'm so glad we didn't wait any longer. Now I'm just anxious to know what the root of the problem is and what it will take to correct it (and how long!). I hope that he is producing sperm. A blockage seems like an easier fix than a lack of sperm production, but what do I know.

So sorry to hear about your husbands SA. I can only imagine how devastated you are. I have no words but I hope the urologist has some someway to help you two.

Thank you. I am optimistic that they will identify the issue and hopeful that it can be fixed!

 

[Mom15]

Oh ladyV, I haven’t been on much due to visiting my parents. I’m sorry you guys have been put a road block in your way. I am hoping and praying that in the end it is just that. And I am so glad you went ahead and both got tested. I think mentally it is so much easier knowing there is something we need to work on than going on another year wondering why it isn’t happening. Here is a story to hopefully give you hope. By no means do I want to sound like I have a solution, but this story started similar to yours. I have a close friend and they had been trying for two years. They were young and weren’t that much in a hurry hence waiting to do some testing. They finally went and he had a very low count. After seeing the specialist, they found he had a varicose vein that was blocking the sperm from coming out. A simple procedure and they now have a 6 week old. Who would have thought a vein can prevent these tiny sperms from coming out. I really hope it will all work out in the end for you! Sending lots of hugs!!!

 

[LadyVictoria]

Oh ladyV, I haven’t been on much due to visiting my parents. I’m sorry you guys have been put a road block in your way. I am hoping and praying that in the end it is just that. And I am so glad you went ahead and both got tested. I think mentally it is so much easier knowing there is something we need to work on than going on another year wondering why it isn’t happening. Here is a story to hopefully give you hope. By no means do I want to sound like I have a solution, but this story started similar to yours. I have a close friend and they had been trying for two years. They were young and weren’t that much in a hurry hence waiting to do some testing. They finally went and he had a very low count. After seeing the specialist, they found he had a varicose vein that was blocking the sperm from coming out. A simple procedure and they now have a 6 week old. Who would have thought a vein can prevent these tiny sperms from coming out. I really hope it will all work out in the end for you! Sending lots of hugs!!!

It's nice to hear from you! I hope that you and your parents are well. And thank you for sharing that story! It really does give me some hope. My husband's brother actually had that very same issue (varicocele) but his wife also had issues so IVF ended up being their only option. They now have 3 lovely children!

Small update for everyone:

My husband had his urologist appointment this morning and they went over medical history, did a physical exam and ultrasound of his “equipment” and he will be doing two more SAs and blood work. I’m happy for the time off and holidays but kind of frustrated that we’ll have to wait for them to pass before we hear anything. But I am grateful that we’re at least moving in the right direction. I hope that whatever is going on will be an easy fix!

 

[Flueky88]

Lady, Well I hope that you hear back shortly after Christmas. I'm glad they are looking into everything. I do hope you both have a Merry Christmas!

To everyone else, have a Merry Christmas as well

 

[LadyVictoria]

Lady, Well I hope that you hear back shortly after Christmas. I'm glad they are looking into everything. I do hope you both have a Merry Christmas!

To everyone else, have a Merry Christmas as well

Thanks! I'm not hopeful about hearing anything before the new year since the urologist is going on a two week vacation.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

 

[TWO2TANGO]

You're on the right path and getting help! That's a good place to be this xmas. Merry Christmas!!

 

[LadyVictoria]

You're on the right path and getting help! That's a good place to be this xmas. Merry Christmas!!

Thank you! I'm trying to be optimistic and hopeful but it's hard sometimes. Sometimes I'm okay and just glad to be working toward some answers, but others I'm sad because I know I'll be ovulating soon and feel like we don't even have a chance. I already feel horrible for blindly wasting 5 cycles already (I know we couldn't have known) and now this one is another down the drain.

 

[TWO2TANGO]

Thank you! I'm trying to be optimistic and hopeful but it's hard sometimes. Sometimes I'm okay and just glad to be working toward some answers, but others I'm sad because I know I'll be ovulating soon and feel like we don't even have a chance. I already feel horrible for blindly wasting 5 cycles already (I know we couldn't have known) and now this one is another down the drain.

As hard as it is try not to live in the past, in the could have been and would have been, nothing can reverse time so just focus on now. Focus on Christmas and each other and the family already here with you and in the new year you can focus on getting pregnant. Don't let this cycle steal your xmas joy!

 

[LadyVictoria]

As hard as it is try not to live in the past, in the could have been and would have been, nothing can reverse time so just focus on now. Focus on Christmas and each other and the family already here with you and in the new year you can focus on getting pregnant. Don't let this cycle steal your xmas joy!

I'm trying. It's much easier said than done.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Merry belated Christmas, ladies.

LadyV - I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's SA. It's totally understandable to be so devastated about it. But good for you for getting things tested so early and for immediately looking for a solution. FX it's something that only requires a simple fix and you'll be back at it very soon.

Well, Flueky already knows this from another thread, but I had a MMC this month. Long story short, I had my scan at 7w3d and there was a HB and then when I had one at 11w1d, it wasn't there any more. They said it looks like the fetus stopped growing at 8w5d. Luckily, I was able to pass everything naturally 3 weeks after the passing, so I didn't need a d&c. I took an opk yesterday afternoon, but couldn't really tell if it was + or not. I ordered a new 25 pack of cheapie pregnancy tests and I have 5 unused opks left. SO and I DTD on the night of the 24th. FX I can still have my 2019 baby.