*** Positive Mental Attitude TTC - Anyone joining us? ***

[DiscoRia]

Hi ladies, I've been looking for some like minded souls to share this time with, but always found myself coming up short, or finding hundreds of members all having hundred of conversations at the same time and it's all a little bit daunting... Can I join you here, please?

liles mom and hoepful, you are both in my thoughts right now, you are both so strong to be here, carrying on, for you and your babies. I've never had a mc (or a bfp) so I can't imagine how either of you feel, but with your scans coming up, I am sure that they will bring only good, reassuring news for you both. *hugs*

Smiler, a baby shower in a wine bar?! That sounds like my kind of shower J.K A little strange, but whatever floats your boat I guess?? I can't imagine a more torturous place to have to endure a baby shower... assuming I was the pregnant lady, haha.

With Love Mom, I agree with Liles Mom, you need to do what is right for you both and sometimes waiting doesn't hurt *hugs*

I tried to catch up some with previous posts, but am sure I've read and forgotten lots.

My name is Maria, I'm 27 and ttc our first with my newlywed husband. We're in the middly of our 6th cycle ttc and I should be ovulating anywhere between cd14 and cd17. I'm not opking this month as it makes me too stressed out about right and wrong days to bd. Plus, I have enough stress daily in my workplace... eurgh.

Every cycle feels like it is bringing my closer to our baby and I am just so excited to find out whether we've been successful or not. I am sure that this time next week I'll be less excited and more impatient, but this is how it goes sometimes.

Do you ladies have any tips for holding onto that pma on darker days? I need to remember to make me time more often I think.

Have a lovely weekend and Good Luck xx

 

[lilesMom]

hi discoRia, thanks chick, welcome xxxx
the whole ttc thing gets a bit stressfull alright it can take over ur brain a little bit
i think its a good idea to give urself a little break from too much pressure and opks
u prob know when u OV now anyway if u been doin um for months
best o luck this month , plenty of xxxx

pma is great but we alll have out slips, ,my tip is come on here and everyone will boost u back to pma the 'worry' days happen everyone but we try to push um away and come back to our pma talkin to others who have it at the time is a great way to get it back xxxxxxx
and ur right hon, take time for u too, pamper urself and be nice to urself. x
if i could care about myself and judge myself as little a si do others i be flying , ha ha.
i give myself a way harder time than i give others but i think thats just human

 

[lilesMom]

just noticed ur ticker, approaching Ov , happy BDing x

 

[Smiler82]

Withlovemom I must've been typing my last post as you posted yours, I didn't see your message when I first logged on last night, sorry hun. Nice to have you back How are you feeling about waiting til next year? I think it's great to be considerate of your DH's feelings as I'm sure he found the whole thing pretty rough too. Maybe he will come around to feeling up to TTC again before next year perhaps? I do think it's hard for the men, they don't really do the whole 'talking' thing like we do eh. Mine was also a rock after my losses and I relied on him so much. But once I was feeling better he took a bit of a downturn because he'd been using me to block his feelings, and once he didn't need to focus on me quite so much he was a bit depressed for a while. But sounds liek you are both so supportive of each other that is so great xx

Welcome to the thread Discoria Yeah as lilesmom says we all still have down days but really helps knowing you can just log on and vent on here and someone will come along to help pick you up Haha yeah I thought how stupid to go to a wine bar when you can't even drink! Torture! And there were about 4 pregnant ladies in a group of about 10, really didn't see the point myself! Oh well, whatever....

I think it's a great thing to say every cycle feels like it's bringing you closer to your baby. I am going to steal that thought! It is so hard waiting sometimes though.

lilesmom and hopeful, hope you are both doing ok this weekend xxx

 

[lilesMom]

thanks sweetie, yup im much better, ive started thinking like im gonna keep my baby this time, pma all the way, have done nothing all day today or yest, well not much anyway, im bored but too lazy to motivate myself to go do something
i would normally go visiting as i have lots o family around but those who dont know i am preg, i would find hard to talk to without telling and those that do know , i would find it hard to talk about anything other than preg , ha ha
ive gotten so boring , with my one tracked mind.
what r ye al up to for the weekend? xxx

 

[Smiler82]

Oh yay lilesmom it is nice to hear you sounding more positive Understand totally about not visiting family so much. I told DH once I get pregnant again I just want to avoid all family/friend visits etc! Pretty antisocial eh but I think I would be the same as you, thinking about being preg all the time yet not wanting to tell anyone will be hard.

Hope you're being supplied with tea and cake as you laze around!! I just bought myself some choccie ready for a girly film tonight. Tomorrow we're both planning a lazy day on the sofa, we're trying to catch up with a TV series we've been recording so we just thought, sod it, let's spend all day watching it! I love days like that

Well today I am either 13dpo or 16dpo, but have just been reading up on how clomid can make your luteal phase longer! Doh. I was going to test Monday but have decided against it now. Partly because AF could just be a couple of days late due to the clomid but also Monday is the Wave of Light day, where you light a candle at 7pm to remember your lost ones. I think it would be too hard to get either bfp or bfn that morning and then spend the evening thinking about our little ones. So I might hold out til more like Wednesday....

 

[lilesMom]

sounds like a nice day tomor hon one of my fave days too
i went nausea food shopping today, i bought all things that i am able to eat so im spoiled for choice now, OH is off and home with me for a change so its lovely to have company
yeah holdin off on testin til after mon but be avery good idea
wave of light day sounds lovely xxx

 

[Hopeful335]

Hey, welcome discoria, We do try and stay positive and like Lilesmom says we boost one another! Best of luck with ov! Bizarrely opk's stress me out less cos at least I know I'm getting it right. And after 1 1/2 yrs ttc I kind pretty much knew ov day opk just confirmed!

Lazy days sound lovely Smiler and Lilesmom we've had friends up this weekend and it's been SO hard partic as one of them keeps teasingly about why I'm not drinking! They dOnt know all our history either as they don't live nearby so we never told them but then it's been a bit tough when she's giggling and asking "driving?preggers?" she's also midwife. So nearly cracked and told her but didn't want to lands baggage on them or spoil weekend! When we arranged their visit we weren't preg!

My PMA is middling today. Today is the day I lost it last time (or started bleeding anyways) v nervous! Getting through today will feel like a milestone! Then onto Wed which will either bring good or bad news-at least u should know one way or the other!

I'm a fairly strong person but this business all tests it!!! Wave of light day sounds nice I'm gonna light 2 candles and remember. I just keep thinking the ones I've lost weren't my children they weren't meant for me and dh. That they went to find their real homes to make way for my baby.

We've got a nice Sunday planned but busy. Long walk with couple friends and their dog, lazy pub Sunday lunch, catch up with friends who've just got back off honeymoon and then pick my parent up from train station in eve who've been away got weekend visiting my brother, then take away supper. Lovely but BUSY!

I'm knackered at min-in bed every day by no later that 10 which is not like me! I'm normally a 11-12 girl! Managed 12 last night exhausted!!! Everyone else was moaning how tired they were I felt like saying "try growing a child-I was knackered at 9pm" ha ha!

Anyway long post over....... x x x

 

[Smiler82]

Ah hopeful the milestone days are hard days eh. I hope you've gotten through today ok How are you feeling?

I think that's pretty rude to be asking outright if you're pregnant, especially if she's a midwife! I'm sure she's very excited for you and also if oblivious to your history then she wouldn't think twice about it but even so. That is the one thing that worries me about next time I'm pregnant as I don't want to tell ppl for as long as possible, but if I stop drinking then ppl will know. Can't win really can you.

Well my lazy day has been good, nice to spend time snuggled up under a duvet with DH catching up with TV dramas, but I think AF is now on the way So PMA not really up there at the moment. I was secretly hoping for a little miracle this month but it wasn't to be.

Anyway enough about me, hope you ladies are all doing ok. Lilesmom and hopeful fingers crossed for next week xx

 

[DiscoRia]

I hope you ladies all enjoyed your weekends! I spent mine in the alps at my in-law's place there. My husband just passed his driving test this week, so he drove us home. We felt so grown up, haha. It was so nice to be in the green, with the lovely crisp fresh air. Now that we have a car and the weather is turning colder I think we'll be spending more weekends in the mountains, which I love. The only thing we're missing there is a bath. That would just be perfect!

I am going to try and meditate everyday on the way to work. I have an hour train ride in each direction, so I shall use the time wisely this week. I want to up the ante with bd'ing, but don't want to put too much pressure on my oh. I am feeling really hopeful for this cycle, lets hope it pays off

Smiler, your lazy weekend sounds so blissful. We don't have sky here and I don't really enjoy Italian tv (it's beyond naff!), we keep meaning to do a huge dvd order as we've watched our collection 100 times over, so I really envy your tv catch up As for AF, even if you feel like it is on the way, until it shows, you're still in! PMA!

Hopeful, I really hope you made it through your busy day without too much emotional weight on your shoulders *hug* Remember to treat yourself to every early night you need, you're doing something so special inside your body, you deserve that extra bit of tlc

Liles Mom, it is lovely to hear that your thoughts are more positive! Thanks for the happy bd wishes I can only imagine how difficult it must be in these early stages. I have a feeling I'd just end up being that annoying friend who can't shut up about her pregnancy! But that is what we're here for, in this community we're all here to share and listen and talk, so don't forget it

I am dreading going back to work tomorrow, I actually had a horrible dream about it last night that meant I couldn't get back to sleep at 7am. I just have to suck it up, but I also want to be a baby and stamp and scream and not go in.

PMA... tomorrow is a new day, a new week and a new chance to create some beautiful moments with all those lovely little children that I work with who are awesome tiny people. I have to remember that I have a really amazing job and I am lucky to encounter these little ones at such a precious stage in their life that is filled with awe and wonder and curiosity.

I am also going to NOT take work home with me this week and just focus on me and my lovely husband and making our own baby. It is not going to stressful or tedious or forced, it is going to be intimate and fun and full of love

Happy Sunday Evening xx

 

[Hopeful335]

Thanks Smiler! I don't think she meant to be rude I think she meant it as a joke but what do you say "No I'm not" and people are like just have one and relax and have fun and when you don't they don't believe you or make fun but even when not pregnant but there's the possibility its so stressful! The funny thing is i was never ever a big drinker any way!

Discoria that sounds like a wonderful weekend very relaxing. What is your job? you sound like a teacher? I am a teacher. I teach 4-5 yr old's which is lovely but very very stressful - the most stressful age I've taught yet!! Or maybe that's just teaching now in general.

Smiler so jealous of your duvet day - i want one! Hope AF stays away sorry if she comes but your not out yet keep PMA but i know its hard cos generally when you know you know. Getting to know our own bodies so well is very strange! Hope you're okay Lilesmom? Good weekend? Mine was good but back to work tomorrow - boo hoo x x x

 

[withlovemom]

Thanx lilesmom, smiler & discoria

I would have loved to start ttc as soon as i could.

In fact i have already started taking folic acid supplements etc..

But we are not really trying hard till January.. If things work out in the meanwhile on its own we would definitely be happy ( coz we are & there is always a chance of one getting preggo despite the protections.. & let me tel you a secret..I would love if this happens ), .. but we are not really trying very hard till January..

It has veen a long wait..& i have atleast two more months to go.. so counting days..

But i m very happy for all u gals who have got their BFP.. n i send baby dust to all those who have started TTC..

May GOD bless us with our little miracle soon..

 

[Smiler82]

Hopeful - the stupid thing with me is I feel even more pressure to drink now we are TTC because I just get so paranoid about people looking for any sign that I might be pregnant, so I found myself making a point of never turning down a glass of wine (unless driving of course!). So I've made a rod for my own back really! I'm totally sure she didn't mean to be rude but it does annoy me when people don't think. I include myself in that, I know there have been times I've said stuff in the past that was a bit careless, like when I was pregnant the first time, I just casually told someone in the office, not realising that she was recently told she would prob never have kids. I knew she had bad endo but I just didn't think, I felt so bad

withlovemom it is GREAT to be taking folic acid etc this far ahead of TTC. I know it's hard being on a break, we were on one earlier this year and to start with I found it quite stressful. But maybe you could use the time to make any changes to your diet etc that you may need to, but also use the time to do stuff you want to do. The way I tried to think of it was, "I won't get the chance to do X Y Z when I've got a baby so I'd better do it now!" I did a writing course, a photography course, did loads of baking, visiting people etc....whatever you want to do, now is a time to be a bit selfish

Discoria I am loving your PMA! You have reminded me I really am going to get my fertility meditation CD out and used this cycle. And also you reminded me of happy holidays in Italy, where my sister and I would put on the TV when getting ready for dinner and watch the crap gameshows! So hilarious! There was one TV presenter, Gerry or something... He was a superstar back in the 90s! Passaparola, Who wants to be a millionaro...or whatever hahaha Thanks for the smiles!!

But yeah you should def get some DVDs in! I love those days. We've got a load of Hitchcock films recorded too, can't wait for a scary film night with popcorn

Well coming on here has cheered me up a bit. My temps keep going down and spotting has started Must admit to there being a few tears yesterday and this morning but it's ok. Now need to work on the PMA for round#2 of clomid.

Sending you all lots of love, hope lilesmom and hopeful are surviving the wait til your scans, am thinking of you both xxx

 

[lilesMom]

hopeful it is hard, im the same as u , normally have lots of Pma its being depleted rapidly at the mo , tomro is my scan thank god, it doesnt help that its a week for lost babies either i think cos just when ive managed to forget a little, i see something else on fb or flyers r poster r something argghh. one more sleep for me and 2 for u, we can get there xxxxxx hoepfully i can boost u tomor with good news and then we have ur good news day after xxxxxxxxxxx

smiler hope its not af sweetie, xxxxxxx u know urself early preg can feel like it so fx xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
sorry i know it must be annoying hearing us stressing over being preg, before i i got bfp i would have killed me for being so ungratefull x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i am grateful just nervous and looking forward to u joining the nervous nellies xxxxxxxxxxx

wow disco ria that sounds like a lovely weekend, i bet the alps r amazing
were ye skiing ? i have no co ordination, have never been skiing but i would prob be the one goin head over heels down the slope ha h a
med is def good for relaxing and relaxing is great for baby making
ur comin up to Ov r u , hope its this month for u sweetie xxxxxx

 

[lilesMom]

with love mom, fx for a lovely welcome accident xxxxxxxx
my sis has 4 kids , 3 of those she had while on the pill!!
it just didnt really work for her . with one of the kids she had been sick and knew why but other 2 she said she had been takin it totally properly and not sick
and 'hats ' (as a girl called them here on another thread and i liked it ) are only 75 % effective
jan is not too bad , i thought u meant a calender yr , as in 12 months, he may come round to it sooner too, xxx u never know ye may decide to get carried away one nt xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

oh smiler stupid af , of course there were tears, totally normal to be there, next month has gotta be urs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lilesMom]

withlove mom that wasnt supposed to sound mean, i just mean 2 months wait is a lot better than 12 xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Smiler82]

Lilesmom don't be silly of course you can talk about being pregnant! You're not moaning, you're just anxious because of everything you've been through before. I totally understand how you are feeling, I remember it well from my 2nd preg. Sorry that there have been too many reminders for you this week, that must be hard xxx I know it's not what you need to be thinking about right now. You and I need as much PMA as each other, it's just for slightly different reasons at the moment I hope to be joining the nervous nellies very soon!

AF is well and truly here, sat here with a hot water bottle I'm kind of glad though, I was worried the spotting could go on for a few days, and once I knew I wasn't pregnant I just wanted to get on with my next round of clomid. So I can start it up again tomorrow now, yay

 

[Hopeful335]

Withlovemom fx for a happy accident. Sorry didn't mean to ignore you! I hope your happy. I know how hard it is when you and your partner are at slightly diff stages! Luckily for me dh tends to go with whatever I want in the end! As long as I am he is!

Yeah the best of luck tom Lilesmom I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of luck and big hugs!!!! Onwards and upwards and fx you get super good news!!!!

Smiler has af shown or have you tested?? Fx for you too.


How are you two today withlovemom and discoria??

X x x

 

[DiscoRia]

Hopeful, I don't really know the correct term... childcare professional I guess. I work in a nursery, this year I'm with the ickle ones, our youngest two just turned 1 year old a month ago! Our oldest turned 2 in June, so it's pretty tough, but the hardest part is most definitely the parents. The cultural differences between here and the UK are huge and it's a lot of hard work to build trusting relationships with the parents. I was having a bad week and it's flowed over to this week already, but I'm at that overwhelming point in my cycle, so I'm sure that after OV I'll be feeling a little better. I always get emotional around this time

How long have you been a teacher? I'd love to work with 4-5 year olds. Eventually I'll get my teaching qualification, but if I'm lucky it won't be for a while yet as I'll be making lots of fat babies of my own to take care of

Liles Mom, nope, no skiing, there isn't any snow yet, but I'm not a huge fan because I'm big scardey cat and that just hinders me on the slopes. DH has been skiing since he was tiny, so we'll probably go a lot this year and I'll just get fat on hot chocolate and stodgy mountain food, haha!

Don't be so silly, if you can't air your worries and fears here, where can you air them?? We're all here to support each other and I am sure that no one is judging you for being worried Liles Mom *hug*

Smiler, I love the crappy game shows here, if only to watch the 'half time' break when the scantily clad ladies come on stage and do a little dance????? I was explaining to my hubby about eurotrash and how Italian TV is pretty much how eurotrash depicted continental europe. Oh how I miss that show

I'm sorry that AF showed up, but I know what you mean about getting onto the next cycle. Ok, so I'm not on clomid, but I also get loooooong days of spotting before af comes on fully and by that point you just want it to be over so you can start afresh. I have everything crossed for you! xx

Withlovemom, waiting until January could be worse. We decided way back in December that we wanted to ttc in 2012 and I waited for my oh to be ready, just like you. Originally he said JULY! I managed to wear him down to May, but those months were so LONG, I feel for you *hug* Smiler is right, use these months to get yourself into baby carrying shape and to do all those things you want to do but will be difficult once baby gets here. We have to see these events as opportunities rather than set backs

 

[withlovemom]

Lilesmom,
i know honey..u dont have to give an explanation.. u r such a sweetheart ;0
Smiler & hopefull, thanx for ur replies girlies..
This forum is such a HUGE support..
Hugs & Prayers to all u lovely ladies