Pregnant by older guy, not sure what to do

[heatherr]

Oh, and today I am also wondering about something else. Last night and today I have experienced bad pains in my lower stonach, off and on
It is sort of like a cramp, tightening, and very painful...like I need to sit down if I am standing g when the pain comes on. I had already been having Braxton Hicks, but they were just tightening feeling, no pain like I have now. I didn't think this was anything to worry about until I looked it up like 10 minutes ago and it says Braxton Hicks shouldn't be painful. I am also feeling very nauseous since yesterday. I thought it was something I ate yesterday, but now I am a little worried about what could be going on.

 

[Feronia]

Heather, how many weeks are you again?
Braxton hicks do start to get more painful when you're closer to 37 weeks since oxytocin receptor sites start opening up and becoming active on your uterus, but if you're not near 37 weeks then start monitoring them. If they're increasing in intensity and regular, then definitely call your care provider!
You should also try drinking a lot of water and taking a warm bath or lying down. If it's nothing serious, that usually settles down an overactive uterus.

Edit: I just went back and checked, you're nearing 31 weeks right? Definitely monitor your pains then! They could be normal because braxton hicks do start to feel more painful when you're closer to term, but you don't want them increasing in strength or becoming regular.

 

[heatherr]

Yeah, I'm 31 weeks as of today I think.

 

[Madjackrabbit]

I would make an appointment to see your doctor just in case. I caught Norovirus in late pregnancy and at first thought it was just my morning sickness making a reappearance. By the time I realised it was much more, I was hospitalised with dehydration (not saying it's the same thing at all, but better to be conservative than worried).

 

[missk1989]

In regards to wondering what life would be like...I think that is totally normal. I still wonder now and I planned my baby at 23yrs old and he is now 2. It is totally natural.

 

[wookie130]

Well, Braxton Hicks aren't SUPPOSED to hurt, but for some women, they kind of do...so, that wouldn't surprise me if that's what is going on. I would call your doctor, and perhaps they can order you a nonstress test, which means that you get to sit in a comfy chair (at least the ones my my OB office were comfy...big leather recliners! LOL!), drink something cold and fizzy, and hit a button every time you feel movement from the baby. The test monitors fetal movement along with the baby's heartrate, and also, whether or not you're having contractions. I had to have weekly NST's done with both of my kids toward the end of pregnancy. I was having what I thought were BH contractions, except that they would sort of slam me hard, and I did feel pain. They would kind of grip me by surprise, and take my breath away at times...and there were times I felt a lot of pressure on my butt too. Well, the NST's revealed that I was having real contractions at times, just without any regularity that could be considered actual labor. I had both of my babies by planned c-section, so I was hoping and praying that real labor would not kick in before my surgery dates, and I was lucky enough that it did not...I was in early labor the morning of my son's birth, and didn't even realize it, however. So, I had him at the right time, really!

So, long story short, you could be having some real contractions here and there. Or, you could just be having intense BH contractions...they CAN hurt. I would go get it checked out, and ask about having a NST done, and perhaps that will confirm what's going on. It would be helpful to know if they're real vs. BH, and then you'll kind of know what you need to be monitoring when it's show time (i.e. labor and delivery).

 

[heatherr]

Well, the pains turned out to be a really bad sign. Yesterday I came home from school and went straight to bed because I felt so bad. At about 8:30 pm I woke with a very intense pain in my lower abdomen and my back was on fire it hurt so bad. I still thought maybe it was nothing and tried to focus on something else, but then the pains kept coming...not getting worse, but just frequent. My parents rushed me to the ER at that point. My mom has a history of pre-term labor with both me and my sister. So, they examined me and said I was in pre-term labor, but only 1cm dilated. They said I was not in full on labor yet. They were able to stop the contractions and I am going to be on this medication called nifedipine that is supposed to help lessen the contractions. They gave me a shot of a steroid to speed up the baby's lung growth. I showed no signs of further contractions, so they sent me home on strict bed rest. They want to get me to 37 weeks, but the doctor said realistically we will be very lucky if we can get me that far, but it is not impossible. They basically made me feel like if I do anything I will cause myself to go back into labor. I don't know if they think I'm stupid or what. It was not my normal doctor of course.

But I am FREAKING OUT! I never even thought about this. I thought I'd at least have 8 more weeks. What if the baby comes and there's something wrong with her? How on earth am I supposed to not go to school for months???? I'm so scared.

I feel like I am being punished for all of the bad thoughts I've had...

 

[Hermione394]

Well, the pains turned out to be a really bad sign. Yesterday I came home from school and went straight to bed because I felt so bad. At about 8:30 pm I woke with a very intense pain in my lower abdomen and my back was on fire it hurt so bad. I still thought maybe it was nothing and tried to focus on something else, but then the pains kept coming...not getting worse, but just frequent. My parents rushed me to the ER at that point. My mom has a history of pre-term labor with both me and my sister. So, they examined me and said I was in pre-term labor, but only 1cm dilated. They said I was not in full on labor yet. They were able to stop the contractions and I am going to be on this medication called nifedipine that is supposed to help lessen the contractions. They gave me a shot of a steroid to speed up the baby's lung growth. I showed no signs of further contractions, so they sent me home on strict bed rest. They want to get me to 37 weeks, but the doctor said realistically we will be very lucky if we can get me that far, but it is not impossible. They basically made me feel like if I do anything I will cause myself to go back into labor. I don't know if they think I'm stupid or what. It was not my normal doctor of course.

But I am FREAKING OUT! I never even thought about this. I thought I'd at least have 8 more weeks. What if the baby comes and there's something wrong with her? How on earth am I supposed to not go to school for months???? I'm so scared.

I feel like I am being punished for all of the bad thoughts I've had...

If you have your parents contact your school, they might be able to arrange work to be sent home to you so you can stay on track even on bedrest.

Try to take deep breaths. You are being a good momma by taking care of yourself. You've got this heatherr!

 

[Srrme]

I've been following your thread, Heather, but I have not posted on it. I am so sorry you're having a rough time all of a sudden. I have had two premature babies (28.6 weeks and 35 weeks) so if you have any questions or want to talk, feel free to PM me.

 

[Feronia]

I'm so glad you went in to check on the pains. Fingers crossed they can keep baby in there for longer, but if not, babies born at this gestation usually do very well.

I'm sure your school can arrange for you to some at-home work given the circumstances! Take care of yourself -- you're a great mama.

 

[mara16jade]

Omg Heather! Yes, stay on bed rest and have your parents contact your school.

Your baby will be fine, 32 weeks is early, but not extremely early. The steroid shot will help, and every day you keep baking that bun will be a bonus.

Drink LOTS of water and rest.

 

[MummyMana]

Hey Heather, I had the same as you! Ambulances to hospital at 30 weeks with contractions 2 minutes apart, was given nefedipine too, which did the trick! I went into labour again at 34 weeks which stopped on its own although I was 4cm dilated (which technically counts as active labour) and I had her at 36 weeks, so there is definitely hope that she will stay in there I wasn't even on bedrest (reading your post, in now wondering why they didn't put me on bedrest :/)

Take it easy and try and stay calm even if baby does come sooner than expected, medical technology is great nowadays you've had the steroids which really help and at 31 weeks she's at a lot lower risk of the more serious complications associated with prematurity my friend has a 32 weeker who is two now and just like any other little boy I'm not saying it will be an easy or simple journey, but the prognosis is good

 

[LittleLala]

Oh heather that sounds so scary!! But please dont think that you're being punished-- you only had thoughts that every other person in your situation would have. We all know that you love your baby.
Your parents will organise an arrangement with the school, surely they will be flexible for you during this time.

Rest, rest, rest. Don't worry- everything is going to be okay. If your little one is born soon, she is past the "viability" stage in development and doctors will do everything they can to ensure that your baby is safe.
Thinking of you x

 

[heatherr]

My mom is going to call my school on Monday. She says this is my last semester and I have perfect grades, so she is sure they will work with us. At least working on school work will give me something to do while I sit here. I will be checked next week and they said depending on how things look they may let me only do partial bed rest, but better safe than sorry right now. They said they will not release me to go back to regular activities like school.

 

[Hermione394]

My mom is going to call my school on Monday. She says this is my last semester and I have perfect grades, so she is sure they will work with us. At least working on school work will give me something to do while I sit here. I will be checked next week and they said depending on how things look they may let me only do partial bed rest, but better safe than sorry right now. They said they will not release me to go back to regular activities like school.

While it might be stressful, that might be the best for your health, hun. If they do say that next week, get a note for school to have it documented. That way, if anyone tries to fight you with bringing work home, you have documented doctor's orders which will help your case.

But for now, just rest and drink water. Try not to stress too much, things always work out in the end.

 

[wookie130]

Oh, how scary! Everything will be just fine. Just take it one day at a time, and take it easy. I pray baby girl can stay cookin' for another several weeks!

 

[SurpriseBub]

Big hugs, heather ...that must have been incredibly scary. Every day is huge for your baby, so just focus on how far you have come and all the positive things by this point. As many people have said, 31 weeks is early, but the outlook if you have her today is very good... And constantly improving.

Look after baby, and look after yourself, too.

 

[skyesmom]

wow Heatherr!! so so sorry you had to go through that scare!

it is horrible to feel that fear and as hard as it may be, don't blame yourself for what happened, don't take it as a punishment for "bad" thoughts you had. being scared and panicked and thinking and feeling the way you did about your pregnancy, baby and becoming a parent is totally normal in a situation like yours.

just think how many kids are born to mothers who are drug addicts or chain smokers or alcoholics or in other way abusive of themselves and their children - the whole "punishment" logic really doesn't stand the ground. you're doing a great job here, you've been so responsible and careful with deciding the best thing for your daughter, both you and FOB.

no punishment here, just a little baby eager to meet her mommy sooner, just like you wanna meet her too!

and she's really at a good gestational age, 32 weeks is sound even for twins who notoriously have lower birth weights to start with compared to singletons, so she's safe!

plus - both your sister and you are living proofs that it all went well for your mom back then when she had the same issue.

does the FOB know? maybe he could also come over here and there and keep some company to you two.

 

[heatherr]

Yeah, FOB knows. He came to the hospital last night. They had me there for 12 hours to monitor me. The panic definitely set in for him. He looked at me and was like, "I'm not ready for this!" I'm like no, I'm counting on you to be the one who is! But he stayed there all night until they released me. He said he'll come visit me. His mom is so sweet and called me this evening just to let me know she was thinking of me and she asked about my favorite magazines and snacks and stuff so she can put a little care package of stuff together for me while I'm sitting here doing nothing. She had me crying by the end of the call (happy tears, not sad). I made several huge mistakes that got me here, but at least I picked a good family for my baby to have.

 

[LeahLou]

I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks, they also put me on strict bed rest. I went into labor twice more even with the bare minimum so they kept me in the hospital till 34 weeks and I had Emmy a week later! Listen to the doctor and your body!! You got this. It'll give you some quiet time! I tried knitting and making a quilt and lots of books