Somebodys comment disturbed me...shall I say anything?

[Fabby]

i seriously remember why i stopped coming into this part of the forum now! Some of you women are so plain damn rude, what happened to being kind to one another and supporting each other

I know!! Scares me sometimes... And honestly I've noticed it is the same people most of the time. Poor girl. So sorry. We are here to support and offer advice. They obviously were not. RUDE!

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I felt embrassed for the girl. I would hate someone to belittle me like that.
Let us know how the phonecall goes tomorrow

 

[Babushka99]

I think you shouldn't really say anything. Many many manyyyyyyy parents. In fact all that I have met bar about 2 use this method. That is the standard way, although not on here. Yes you can say what you choose to do and your reasoning behind it. But that is it. Because as we all know parenting styles vary immensely.

 

[Vickie]

The OP has a weird imagination and loves how threads such as these take off.

There is no need for comments like this aimed at members

If you have an issue with someone take it to PM or put them on Ignore. If you have concerns regarding a member than report it to a member of the team.

 

[emilyjade]

i seriously remember why i stopped coming into this part of the forum now! Some of you women are so plain damn rude, what happened to being kind to one another and supporting each other

I know!! Scares me sometimes... And honestly I've noticed it is the same people most of the time. Poor girl. So sorry. We are here to support and offer advice. They obviously were not. RUDE!

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I felt embrassed for the girl. I would hate someone to belittle me like that.
Let us know how the phonecall goes tomorrow

it is mainly the same people who start, drives me crazy. Think i'll be sticking to the grotto until it closes now

 

[snowflakes]

i seriously remember why i stopped coming into this part of the forum now! Some of you women are so plain damn rude, what happened to being kind to one another and supporting each other

I know!! Scares me sometimes... And honestly I've noticed it is the same people most of the time. Poor girl. So sorry. We are here to support and offer advice. They obviously were not. RUDE!

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I felt embrassed for the girl. I would hate someone to belittle me like that.
Let us know how the phonecall goes tomorrow

Yes, i would too. That would be awful.

And Tiggerpony i totally forgot about giving advice. Sorry i'm not much help, because i just don't know what i would do. Maybe talk to your friend who knows her better? That is such a sad story. I hate hearing stories like this.

 

[going_crazy]

Ok, the problem I have (personally) with you "saying something", or calling SS or something is this:

I was with my friend the other day, having a good catch up and her work collegue joined us (uninvited I might add!) and I've never met her before.

I was showing my friend some pics of our last holiday and one shows LO 'drinking' what looks like Guiness, from a Guiness pint glass. The work collegue was shocked at the pic and asked me how much I let her drink(!) Well, me being me, said "oh, I let her have a few sips every night". With that, my friend giggled (knowing that I was joking), but her collegue stood up, gave me a mouthful about how I was endangering my child and told me she would be reporting me to "the authorities"!!!

Now, I never drink and the guiness glass had Pepsi Max in, AND LO never had any, it was just a coincidence that hubby took the pic at that time!

However, I could have SS called on me because someone (who doesn't know me OR my situation) has taken a comment/photo out of context and assumed I let my daughter drink alcohol every night!

I am not saying that this is your situation, but just be careful that your friend wasn't just overexaggerating or something

 

[~RedLily~]

Omg that poor little baby. I'm so glad you are going to report this.

 

[aliss]

I have to be honest, I wouldn't be able to say much because truthfully, someone who is able to do such a thing probably wouldn't care otherwise. You must be somewhat detached in order to do it (and I had PND the first year, I understand feeling 'detached'/not bonded but that doesn't mean it's okay to leave your newborn to go hungry like that - you need to ask for help if it's depression).

I don't think I could continue the friendship. Yes, I have friends who do things that I would never do, but I cross the line with maintaining friends who I feel are neglectful parents. I don't stay friends with people "just because" - either they are a positive influence in my life or they are not. There's just no place for someone like that in my life. Sorry. I respect their right to do what they feel is best but that does not mean I have to agree with it.

 

[snowflakes]

i seriously remember why i stopped coming into this part of the forum now! Some of you women are so plain damn rude, what happened to being kind to one another and supporting each other

I know!! Scares me sometimes... And honestly I've noticed it is the same people most of the time. Poor girl. So sorry. We are here to support and offer advice. They obviously were not. RUDE!

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I felt embrassed for the girl. I would hate someone to belittle me like that.
Let us know how the phonecall goes tomorrow

it is mainly the same people who start, drives me crazy. Think i'll be sticking to the grotto until it closes now

What is the grotto? Maybe i will check it out.

 

[AngelBunny]

I think you shouldn't really say anything. Many many manyyyyyyy parents. In fact all that I have met bar about 2 use this method. That is the standard way, although not on here. Yes you can say what you choose to do and your reasoning behind it. But that is it. Because as we all know parenting styles vary immensely.

everyone you've met leaves a newborn to cry to itself for 13 hours each night?

 

[austinsmom]

Ok, the problem I have (personally) with you "saying something", or calling SS or something is this:

I was with my friend the other day, having a good catch up and her work collegue joined us (uninvited I might add!) and I've never met her before.

I was showing my friend some pics of our last holiday and one shows LO 'drinking' what looks like Guiness, from a Guiness pint glass. The work collegue was shocked at the pic and asked me how much I let her drink(!) Well, me being me, said "oh, I let her have a few sips every night". With that, my friend giggled (knowing that I was joking), but her collegue stood up, gave me a mouthful about how I was endangering my child and told me she would be reporting me to "the authorities"!!!

Now, I never drink and the guiness glass had Pepsi Max in, AND LO never had any, it was just a coincidence that hubby took the pic at that time!

However, I could have SS called on me because someone (who doesn't know me OR my situation) has taken a comment/photo out of context and assumed I let my daughter drink alcohol every night!

I am not saying that this is your situation, but just be careful that your friend wasn't just overexaggerating or something

fair enough... I have a picture of my son when he was 2 years old drinking milk out of a shot glass BUT...... SS isn't there to take kids from their homes. It's mainly to educate people on parenting. In extreme cases, yes, the child would be removed. So, if SS were to come to your home for this picture, I would invite them in, talk about the situation surrounding the picture, and ask them if they would like anything to drink

 

[Divinebeauty]

Ok, the problem I have (personally) with you "saying something", or calling SS or something is this:

I was with my friend the other day, having a good catch up and her work collegue joined us (uninvited I might add!) and I've never met her before.

I was showing my friend some pics of our last holiday and one shows LO 'drinking' what looks like Guiness, from a Guiness pint glass. The work collegue was shocked at the pic and asked me how much I let her drink(!) Well, me being me, said "oh, I let her have a few sips every night". With that, my friend giggled (knowing that I was joking), but her collegue stood up, gave me a mouthful about how I was endangering my child and told me she would be reporting me to "the authorities"!!!

Now, I never drink and the guiness glass had Pepsi Max in, AND LO never had any, it was just a coincidence that hubby took the pic at that time!

However, I could have SS called on me because someone (who doesn't know me OR my situation) has taken a comment/photo out of context and assumed I let my daughter drink alcohol every night!

I am not saying that this is your situation, but just be careful that your friend wasn't just overexaggerating or something

fair enough... I have a picture of my son when he was 2 years old drinking milk out of a shot glass BUT...... SS isn't there to take kids from their homes. It's mainly to educate people on parenting. In extreme cases, yes, the child would be removed. So, if SS were to come to your home for this picture, I would invite them in, talk about the situation surrounding the picture, and ask them if they would like anything to drink

Preferabbly Guiness!

 

[LittleBoo]

Okay, I know many people who would do things like this, I'm not friends with them but unfortunately I know a lot of adults who never thought twice about doing this to their kids (experience from when I was younger and staying at friends, one woman I knew had all 5 kids in one bed, 3/5 wet the bed/soiled the bed every night and the sheets were never changed. The kids were undernourished, fed crap and the bath had dog shit and a broken mirror in it. My poor friend was constantly bullied, that's why I became friends with her actually, she was lovely really, but at home she was abused, neglected, and is now like her mother, a drug addicted theif with no morals, empathy or life left in her really. There was tons more but trust me, I saw this happen, that mother left her kids in the worst condition, the baby too, and it was a regular occurance. So yes, people DO do this, it's likely not an exaggeration and it could be a big red flag. Someone who can leave their newborn screaming in hunger for that long is someone who could quite easily do much worse. Judgement or not, what do you think social services do? They judge, and assess risks. Not my job perhaps, but I'd damn well report it so the people who DO do that job can go in and keep an eye. No way in hell could I live with myself if I just ignored the signs. I hate this whole 'none of my business' crap. I've dealt with social services before, I went through hell with them thanks to misinformation, some poorly documented report from a midwife while I was in labour. I'd still call. No matter what, no matter how shit it is being investigated/assessed whatever you call it, it can't be worse than knowing a child could be suffering and you do fuck all about it.

 

[Hellymay83]

i seriously remember why i stopped coming into this part of the forum now! Some of you women are so plain damn rude, what happened to being kind to one another and supporting each other

I know!! Scares me sometimes... And honestly I've noticed it is the same people most of the time. Poor girl. So sorry. We are here to support and offer advice. They obviously were not. RUDE!

This is exactly my point. As said in my previous post, maybe this is the way this little boys mother is asking for help. Maybe she's embarrased to say she can't cope and is trying to find other ways to express it.

She needs support!

 

[Periwinkle]

Would you need to ask your friend for her friend's full name/address to report her to SS? Would be a bit obvious who it was then..

 

[Natsku]

Maybe a visit from SS would make her realise what she's doing is wrong, or they might get her into some parenting classes or send to be evaluated for PND.
She might have been told by an older relative that this is the right thing to do and doesn't know its wrong so hopefully SS can explain to her that it is neglect.

 

[wishingonastar]

And this one; your friend in it sounds very similar to the 'friend of a friend' you mention in this thread

https://www.babyandbump.com/baby-club/757324-ignoring-babies-cry-their-night-feed-get-them-sttn.html

Mine and my friends babies are both nearly 8 weeks old (we had our babies within 3 days of each other) and her baby has been sleeping through the night since nearly 4 weeks old from 10pm to 7am. We both formula feed. But my LO will go to bed about 11pm (cant put her down before that cos she just lays in her cot screaming until you pick her up... :-/ ) and then wake for a feed any time from 2am. Sometimes it's 2am, sometimes 3am sometimes 4am. She will then go back to sleep until about 6am whatever time she feeds, even if it's 4am... My friends LO used to cry for a feed during the night but for 4 nights straight she ignored his crys for a bottle and he then started sleeping through the night! Was this wrong of her? She said he couldn't of really needed the feed in the middle of the night because he has slept through the night without waking up once since she did this...she told me to do it too. But I don't know if I can ignore my baby screaming for a feed for hours on end. She said she had to ignore him the first 2 nights for 3 hours until he cried himself to sleep, and then woke up in the morning for a feed............. :-/

Would anyone else do this?

I'm not trying to be rude but honestly it sounds like you have quite a few friends with neglectful and worrying ideas of good parenting...I would personally be looking for some new friends as I and the other poster suggested...

Hi, sorry I'm a little confused
in your OP you said your LO has STTN since 5 weeks and yet in a recent thread as shown above at 8 weeks you said your LO doesn't sleep through at all...?

You've posted two very similar threads which are emotive to others and have contradicted yourself in them...sorry to say it but I'm starting to doubt how genuine this is and yes I realise I'm likely to be slated by one or many for saying it

 

[cissyhope]

I think you shouldn't really say anything. Many many manyyyyyyy parents. In fact all that I have met bar about 2 use this method. That is the standard way, although not on here. Yes you can say what you choose to do and your reasoning behind it. But that is it. Because as we all know parenting styles vary immensely.

Really??? This is a 4 week old baby left from 7pm -8am and this is standard practice with people you know?

I hate getting any one else involved but that girl may need help? or she may just be exaggerating what ever but i wouldnt want to take that risk,if she is exaggerating (silly girl) then SS will just check and be gone.

 

[Natsku]

It could also just be a joke I joke all the time about being a horrible mum but I'm not that bad actually, I hope people realise I'm joking when I do!

 

[feedindy]

Why the heck do people feel the need to question and investigate the OP? It's a little stalker-ish and extremely rude. Personal attacks really aren't necessary here.

Oh and so what to the pp of mentioning how the OP's LO is STTN at 5 weeks and then not at all at 8 weeks. Maybe there was a sleep regression or something. Babies change if they STTN or not.

Anyways to the OP- I agree it does bother me the reason the lady is leaving the baby all night like that when he/she could have wet/soiled themselves, or is hungry. Someone else already asked, but do you have her full name/ address? I hope she wasn't just exaggerating, because it would be terrible if it was a joke and SS shows up on her doorstep. But that is what SS is there for, and if she did nothing wrong then she would have nothing to worry about. Let us know what SS says if you decide to call.

Oh and OP: There are nice supportive women on this forum, just after you learn who to perpetually ignore.