bitchface made him block me months ago because her egocentrical victim-complex decided that some random thing I wrote about my ex was directed at her and it 'upset J and S'.... goddam it if it upset them it was because she lost the plot over it; something that didn't even concern her, not because of me! 
They don't DO anything. I try to get them interested in stuff that actually exists in real life, but all they're interested in is pixels.
Right ladies, need some opinions here
So it's J's 14th birthday today, and S's 10th on Thursday. About a month ago, OH was asking them what they'd like for their b days. J said he was wanting a bike, but mum couldn't afford it, so could dad go halfs on it. OH said absolutely he could do that, and sent bitchface an email asking her to let him know how much it was, and he'd sort it out, this was giving a month notice for her to get back to him. She never did, then on Fri, J says his mum needs £60 towards the bike. He's like okkk... was gonna do it... then it turns out that she'd already bought it - as a present from her only. OH thought that was a bit naff, as if she'd bought the bike she clearly didn't have any trouble finding the money (bear in mind OH pays her £480 a month maintenance and she's shown herself to be greedy to the extreme in all respects)
He spoke to both the boys about going to the shopping centre to get them something from him, which they were happy about.
So OH went to pick up the boys yest and she actually came out to demand the money (she never usually even bothers seeing them off)
OH said he didn't have it and if she needed it so much she had a month to actually respond to his email before going and getting the bike.
He took them shopping for a new x box game each from him before dropping them off today. They are happy as larry... She's raging about it.
We don't think we've been unreasonable given that a) if she needed the money to afford the bike she could have had the decency to communicate with OH about it in the month leading up to now, and b) she's always been a pisstaker just wanting money money money, and c) the bike was already bought - and OH didn't want to just give her extra cash for a present that would have been considered to be just from her and no mention of dad. And S has just been given a new mobile phone - not for his b day but 'just a random thing' (S's words) and d) the boys are both happy with the gifts their dad actually bought them.
So yeah
Have we been unreasonable? What would you guys have done?
xx
Right ladies, need some opinions here
So it's J's 14th birthday today, and S's 10th on Thursday. About a month ago, OH was asking them what they'd like for their b days. J said he was wanting a bike, but mum couldn't afford it, so could dad go halfs on it. OH said absolutely he could do that, and sent bitchface an email asking her to let him know how much it was, and he'd sort it out, this was giving a month notice for her to get back to him. She never did, then on Fri, J says his mum needs £60 towards the bike. He's like okkk... was gonna do it... then it turns out that she'd already bought it - as a present from her only. OH thought that was a bit naff, as if she'd bought the bike she clearly didn't have any trouble finding the money (bear in mind OH pays her £480 a month maintenance and she's shown herself to be greedy to the extreme in all respects)
He spoke to both the boys about going to the shopping centre to get them something from him, which they were happy about.
So OH went to pick up the boys yest and she actually came out to demand the money (she never usually even bothers seeing them off)
OH said he didn't have it and if she needed it so much she had a month to actually respond to his email before going and getting the bike.
He took them shopping for a new x box game each from him before dropping them off today. They are happy as larry... She's raging about it.
We don't think we've been unreasonable given that a) if she needed the money to afford the bike she could have had the decency to communicate with OH about it in the month leading up to now, and b) she's always been a pisstaker just wanting money money money, and c) the bike was already bought - and OH didn't want to just give her extra cash for a present that would have been considered to be just from her and no mention of dad. And S has just been given a new mobile phone - not for his b day but 'just a random thing' (S's words) and d) the boys are both happy with the gifts their dad actually bought them.
So yeah
Have we been unreasonable? What would you guys have done?
xx
OH does his best but if his mum wont carry on trying to help or disipline him, nothing will help. OH has told ss's mum that he is only being picked up sat night and being here a whole day sunday. The friends his mum lets him have dont help either. He is 8 and she doesnt mind him hanging around with much older teens who encourage him to be naughty and play up. He does have a support worker at school but his mum doesnt liase with them and usually doesnt take him to school during the week.
His mum has threatened to take us to court,sue us, take OH's parents to court,... so much nonsense instead of trying to be mature and help ss. She has in the past told him to play up for us (which she has admitted too, telling him to be naughty and disrupting) so she isnt helping at all. It makes me sad she's not co-operating more, but I know if I try to say anything to her she will turn it round that im making things up or its our fault. She previously said, that 8 year olds trash the house, swear and hit elders, and generally run riot, so we cant tell him off as its what kids do
sorry if I sound at all mean but im just a bit stressed after this weekend
OH does his best but if his mum wont carry on trying to help or disipline him, nothing will help. OH has told ss's mum that he is only being picked up sat night and being here a whole day sunday. The friends his mum lets him have dont help either. He is 8 and she doesnt mind him hanging around with much older teens who encourage him to be naughty and play up. He does have a support worker at school but his mum doesnt liase with them and usually doesnt take him to school during the week.
His mum has threatened to take us to court,sue us, take OH's parents to court,... so much nonsense instead of trying to be mature and help ss. She has in the past told him to play up for us (which she has admitted too, telling him to be naughty and disrupting) so she isnt helping at all. It makes me sad she's not co-operating more, but I know if I try to say anything to her she will turn it round that im making things up or its our fault. She previously said, that 8 year olds trash the house, swear and hit elders, and generally run riot, so we cant tell him off as its what kids do
sorry if I sound at all mean but im just a bit stressed after this weekend
This boy doesnt need discipline, he needs parenting...and help. Does your OH liaise with the support worker at school. I'm not too sure of the role of a school support worker, but I'm guessing its a counsellor? If this behaviour is a direct result of his mothers parenting or lack of, then this boy should not be living with his mother. He is not just naughty, I think there is something serious going on.
rjsmam said:
Earn your own money then you twunt! - the thing is she won't speak to OH at all, she won't answer the phone if call display shows it's him, she only calls him to bitch and stir up shit. Like the time when she made J block me, she called him up and demanded that he tell me to delete a FB status Yes because of COURSE bitchface, you control him who controls me Fuck off! (Thankfully he has learned his lesson since the time before when something similar happened - again, over a fb status I had written which wasn't even about her - guilty conscience, much?? - and he actually did what she said and told me off for this bloody fb post I told him back then that if he dared take bitchfaces side over anything, particularly without even bothering to find out my side of the story, he would be kicked out before he could finish the sentence)
OH does his best but if his mum wont carry on trying to help or disipline him, nothing will help. OH has told ss's mum that he is only being picked up sat night and being here a whole day sunday. The friends his mum lets him have dont help either. He is 8 and she doesnt mind him hanging around with much older teens who encourage him to be naughty and play up. He does have a support worker at school but his mum doesnt liase with them and usually doesnt take him to school during the week.
His mum has threatened to take us to court,sue us, take OH's parents to court,... so much nonsense instead of trying to be mature and help ss. She has in the past told him to play up for us (which she has admitted too, telling him to be naughty and disrupting) so she isnt helping at all. It makes me sad she's not co-operating more, but I know if I try to say anything to her she will turn it round that im making things up or its our fault. She previously said, that 8 year olds trash the house, swear and hit elders, and generally run riot, so we cant tell him off as its what kids do
sorry if I sound at all mean but im just a bit stressed after this weekend
that so called adults feel the need to stir up shit. WTF do they get from it?? As much as we cannot stand OH's ex or mine either for that matter, we would never dream of slagging them off in front of the kids! They're poisonous enough people that they do a good job of showing the kids that they are rubbish without us saying a word! He had a solicitor write to us asking why WE had stopped turning up, about 6 months ago , we had ours write back strongly stating that this was nonsense and that we did not think it was appropriate to reinstate the contact. We haven't heard back since. This from a 'man' who supposedly would do ANYTHING for his children OH works in security 11-8pm an hours drive away so weekdays and school holidays hes away 10am-9pm (saturday too) and 9-5:30pm sundays. He has tried to talk to the school but ss's mum wouldnt put him on ss's birth certificate and wont really let him have any rights in speaking to school or social services. She has on many occasions said he cant do anything as he has no parental rights over ss. No idea if this is true as she wont speak to me and OH has been really emotionally beaten down by her over the years. They split up when she was pregnant as she turned against him and his family, so theyv never been together in a relationship around ss, he had to really work to have any chance of seeing his son. She is just one of those people you cant get through to
As OH and ex were married and all, he'd have to give permission though. But he was going to give it cos he didn't want to be the bad guy It would've meant only ever seeing them in the school hols and even then only when it could be organised. Like you guys we're reasonably tight on the finances once everything's paid each month, with the maintenance being so high and the legal bills this shitty mess has left us with. SO him 'popping over' to see them wouldn't be easy either. Is she capable of caring for her properly? I hope things can get sorted hon... these things unfortunately seem to be so long and drawn out though 
Best of luck xx
