step parents support thread

[tallybee]

Can child support even apply to an 18-year-old where you guys are? Over here it comes to an end at age 18 whether they are in education or not, it ends at 16 if they leave education.

That's awful that you guys get demands for extra cash all the time too - OH pays the (large) maintenance sum each month and THAT'S IT. He realises now that the agreed amount is the agreed amount and if she can't manage on that sum in addition to all the other money she gets from the government it's her own damned fault!

 

[tallybee]

Arrrgh well the court has sent the affidavits for OH's divorce back to the solicitor because of a tiny mistake in it. Good job I had always refused to get too excited about it until the whole sorry business is done, even though OH has berated me for being negative for it.

 

[pinkflamingo]

ladies I wanted you to be some of the first to know that I have got my BFP!!!!

I am feeling rather cautious about it all after having a mc at the start of the year. Also I got my first BFP 3 days ago and AF was due today, so have been worried that she would still show up, but the test I did today was stronger than the others (I have done 3 so far!). I pray that this time it will all be ok. I don't feel like I can be excited yet as it doesn't feel real yet, but I plan to just test with cheapies every day until the weekend and then on saturday i will use a digi. By then I will be offically 'late' enough to be comfortable that AF will not show up! Sunday will be the day that I would have been due with my last pregnancy, and so it makes this all the more amazing and special.

I know this is off topic for our thread, but like I say I just wanted you to know!!

xx

 

[cowboys angel]

Congrats!

 

[pinkflamingo]

Thanks hun.

How are you doing? i read your post about ex taking you to court about moving? it must be a difficult time for you all. We have pretty much got through all the crappy bits (I hope), but I do already have a worry that being pregnant will stir up hatred issues again and she will try and poison SS. She has done this before and even told him that his dad doesn't love him etc etc. She is getting married next year so will def feel like this has taken some attention off her!! (a sneaky hahaha!!)

I shouldnt be thinking about these worries though and must try and just be happy and enjoy it all. I'm worried enough about having another mc so just need to try and stop my mind from thinking too much!!

xx

 

[cowboys angel]

Yes, try to breathe. Don't stress yourself out.

Yeah, she took us to court to move. She lost, and then sent OH texts saying they were moving, was he gonna let her go, or would she have to go get the papers to go back to court.

To try and keep the peace, he texted back "I'm willing to sit and discuss it, but you haven't told me where you're going, where you'll be living, nothing.

She said she told him what was important, they were leaving.

He said 'if you won't discuss with me, fine, go ahead and get the papers. you're not leaving'

so now we're waiting to find out when the new court date is.

She's such a freaking bitch...

She told my SD that it was her fault that mommy and her couldn't go back to colorado cuz she told daddy she wanted to stay, and the courts didn't let them leave.

OH told my SD that if she wanted to go to CO, then tell the judge that. If she wanted to stay in Michigan, tell them that. To tell them what made her happy. That he wanted her to stay obviously, but he would love her no matter what she wanted and he just wants her to be happy.

God the bitch....I'm sick of the bullshit. Really hoping we get awarded custody.

 

[pinkflamingo]

oh hun that is awful. I've said it loads of times already but I can't begin to understand how these 'mothers' can say these things to their own children. I do use the term mother loosely as they don't behave like it's a natural thing at all.

keeping everything crossed for you hun and hope you get custody too.

xx

 

[cowboys angel]

oh hun that is awful. I've said it loads of times already but I can't begin to understand how these 'mothers' can say these things to their own children. I do use the term mother loosely as they don't behave like it's a natural thing at all.

keeping everything crossed for you hun and hope you get custody too.

xx

Thanks

 

[lilbeanfolk]

ladies I wanted you to be some of the first to know that I have got my BFP!!!!

I am feeling rather cautious about it all after having a mc at the start of the year. Also I got my first BFP 3 days ago and AF was due today, so have been worried that she would still show up, but the test I did today was stronger than the others (I have done 3 so far!). I pray that this time it will all be ok. I don't feel like I can be excited yet as it doesn't feel real yet, but I plan to just test with cheapies every day until the weekend and then on saturday i will use a digi. By then I will be offically 'late' enough to be comfortable that AF will not show up! Sunday will be the day that I would have been due with my last pregnancy, and so it makes this all the more amazing and special.

I know this is off topic for our thread, but like I say I just wanted you to know!!

xx

Congratulations!! Crossing my fingers and toes for you!!

 

[pinkflamingo]

ladies I wanted you to be some of the first to know that I have got my BFP!!!!

I am feeling rather cautious about it all after having a mc at the start of the year. Also I got my first BFP 3 days ago and AF was due today, so have been worried that she would still show up, but the test I did today was stronger than the others (I have done 3 so far!). I pray that this time it will all be ok. I don't feel like I can be excited yet as it doesn't feel real yet, but I plan to just test with cheapies every day until the weekend and then on saturday i will use a digi. By then I will be offically 'late' enough to be comfortable that AF will not show up! Sunday will be the day that I would have been due with my last pregnancy, and so it makes this all the more amazing and special.

I know this is off topic for our thread, but like I say I just wanted you to know!!

xx

Congratulations!! Crossing my fingers and toes for you!!

Thanks hun! I think I will be crossed up in knots for the next few weeks too!!

How are you doing?

xx

 

[tallybee]

Congratulations pinkflamingo!! I too have everything crossed for you that everything goes fine this time

Cowboys angel so sorry this situation is so shitty. These people are beyond belief...



xx

 

[pinkflamingo]

Thank you Tally! xx

 

[cowboys angel]

Thank you Tally! Hopefully it gets sorted out.

We have our week long visitation coming up.

 

[lilbeanfolk]

ladies I wanted you to be some of the first to know that I have got my BFP!!!!

I am feeling rather cautious about it all after having a mc at the start of the year. Also I got my first BFP 3 days ago and AF was due today, so have been worried that she would still show up, but the test I did today was stronger than the others (I have done 3 so far!). I pray that this time it will all be ok. I don't feel like I can be excited yet as it doesn't feel real yet, but I plan to just test with cheapies every day until the weekend and then on saturday i will use a digi. By then I will be offically 'late' enough to be comfortable that AF will not show up! Sunday will be the day that I would have been due with my last pregnancy, and so it makes this all the more amazing and special.

I know this is off topic for our thread, but like I say I just wanted you to know!!

xx

Congratulations!! Crossing my fingers and toes for you!!

Thanks hun! I think I will be crossed up in knots for the next few weeks too!!

How are you doing?

xx

Doing good, very excited as V-Day is Sunday!! I've been blessed with this pregnancy and just enjoying every minute I can. Otherwise trying not to stress even though I'm so good at it

 

[lilbeanfolk]

Can child support even apply to an 18-year-old where you guys are? Over here it comes to an end at age 18 whether they are in education or not, it ends at 16 if they leave education.

That's awful that you guys get demands for extra cash all the time too - OH pays the (large) maintenance sum each month and THAT'S IT. He realises now that the agreed amount is the agreed amount and if she can't manage on that sum in addition to all the other money she gets from the government it's her own damned fault!

Yeah crazy huh?? I have to say all I know comes from my husband, and according to him even though she will be considered an adult at 18 if she is still living with her mother and going to college then we have to cont to pay child support, I think until she's 21, moves out, or graduates?? She wants to come live with us now, we'll see if that pans out or not. Her mother has been trying to convince her that she would not like it here and that it would be very difficult for us to get her car insurance, health insurance, etc. Whatever!!! She's also been filling her mind with thoughts of "you'll go away to college and live in a dorm" etc etc. So we had to have a heart to heart with SD and give her the facts that we can't afford a dorm, and that we will have to figure something else out, either she can get a loan if that is what she wants, her mother (who seems to think money is everywhere!!) can pay for it, or she can live with us and commute or go to a junior college until she figures out what she's doing. Oddly, she is fine with it as long as she gets to move AWAY from her mother. We'll see how it works, it's a huge change for us, DH is thrilled of course it's all he's wanted since he heard the word divorce, but it will be a first for me, and a big change in the dynamics here, so I'm nervous. Oh well, we've a got year of fighting before things will change anyway, her mother DOES NOT want her to move, why you ask?? Not because she'll miss her, no but because the ex doesn't want to be alone!! Sad huh?

 

[tallybee]

That is sad indeed hon

I will bet you a major reason the ex doesn't want your SD to move out is the child support part of the equation.... presumably it would stop completely if SD lived with neither parent - and SHE would have to pay if SD lived with you guys

I am sure if/when SD moves in with you guys things will be fine. I think you and DH just need to make sure ground rules are placed from the outset, and keep comms open between yourselves - to make sure you are both consistent and fair at all times

It will always be a challenge when an older steppie comes into our life or moves in, because we haven't had the chance to grow with them. But challenges are good

You'll be fine

 

[Amber_Lynn822]

Wanted to add some joy We came back from vacation on the 10th and want to share some pictures of my Steppie!

https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/Snugglebunny822/262346_10150237135907759_516682758_7462780_6261756_n.jpg

https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/Snugglebunny822/264154_10150237136062759_516682758_7462786_5341208_n.jpg

 

[pinkflamingo]

awww Amber they are lovely pics. She is a very pretty little girl. Hope you all had a great time, you certainly all look very happy.

Thanks for sharing them with us. It's happy times like yours that make all the stresses and rough times with the 'mum's' worth it.

xx

 

[Amber_Lynn822]

You know ironically enough- We threw her a HUGE 10th Bday, and my MIL had me in tears by the end, and my baby momma was the one trying to comfort me. I'm lucky.

Even though sometimes I want to strangle the woman (Like when she puts steppie in day camp when she has no job, doesn't discuss it with us, and expects us to pay half when we just blew over 1,000 on a vacation to see steppie, pay for a party ect)

 

[tallybee]

Aww those are lovely happy pics Amber

Like you say those happy times make the crap worth it

xx