step parents support thread

[cowboys angel]

I understand the problem with the negative stuff, but to me, any parent can understand the positives...but only a step parent can understand some of the negative stuff that comes up.

It's been nice to find some ladies on here that understand the stress of dealing with the crazy ex, the step child, your OH, etc.

So I'm sorry, I have to share some negative news, but I'll follow it up with some positive.

I was just diagnosed with MS, which means my activity level needs to drop. My steppie is going to be devastated that I can't walk to the park with her or anything...and I can't drive til I get on meds cuz I'm having double vision and muscle spasms...

But good news for those of you that are upset with the direction this thread has taken, we have my step daughter for a week starting last night!

 

[Amber_Lynn822]

I understand the problem with the negative stuff, but to me, any parent can understand the positives...but only a step parent can understand some of the negative stuff that comes up.

It's been nice to find some ladies on here that understand the stress of dealing with the crazy ex, the step child, your OH, etc.

So I'm sorry, I have to share some negative news, but I'll follow it up with some positive.

I was just diagnosed with MS, which means my activity level needs to drop. My steppie is going to be devastated that I can't walk to the park with her or anything...and I can't drive til I get on meds cuz I'm having double vision and muscle spasms...

But good news for those of you that are upset with the direction this thread has taken, we have my step daughter for a week starting last night!

That sounds great, and my steppie loves doing crafts, maybe take a turn in that direction?

 

[cowboys angel]

That's a good idea, thanks.

Oh, and doesn't it suck when phones think they're sooo smart??

 

[tallybee]

Oh cowboys angel I am sorry you are having these health problems

Happy news about having steppie for a whole week though There are loads of things you can do indoors to keep her amused, crafts, baking, you name it There was a thread in general chatter about rainy day holiday activities with plenty of fab suggestions

 

[Lownthwaite]

So sorry to hear your bad news Cowboys angel I hope they can get you on medication soon and you feel more like your self very quickly!

I must say that I feel compelled to appologise - I only ever seem to come on this thread to have a winge or moan about my SS. It must make me come across to be an awful person - I really do love him, it's just that like tallybee says - I can easily appreciate the good times so it seems like they never get mentioned.............so here goes...........

I caught SS giving DD a cuddle the other week. It lasted a good minute or so and he shut his eyes whilst doing it and it was so sweet - best of all he didn't know I was watching so it was even more lovely - certainly not put on - he loves DD to bits.

DD's face lights up as soon as she see's SS on a saturday. It's like the day just became so much more exciting for her

The look on SS's little face when he finished his jigsaw all on his own last week was delightful he was so happy with his little self!

...............There are more positive things but I could be here all day - just wanted to prove there are positive instances with SS it's just I don't need help, advice or to winge about that so never thing to mention it

Sorry if I upset anyone

 

[cowboys angel]

Thanks ladies

My SD LOVES her baby sister, her step sister. It's soo cute. She talked to her all the time when I was pregnant, loves to hold and cuddle her, feed her.

 

[Mellybelle]

Awwww.....this thread is giving me the warm fuzzies now.
Thats more like it.

My steppies live with us and their mother half and half. My eldest SS and DD get along so well. They go shopping together, and go to the movies with groups of friends. She's 13, he's 12. She wants him to turn out to be gay because she's always wanted a sister but think a gay brother will do as he'll still go shoe shopping with her. If he doesnt turn out to be gay then she wants him to marry her best friend so she'll have her bestie as her sister! J is happier with this arrangement coz he has a thing for the bestie. I love teens!

 

[cowboys angel]

Hahaha that's so cute!

 

[Mellybelle]

Am so sorry about the MS diagnosis Cowboys angel. Hope the meds help.

 

[cowboys angel]

Thanks

 

[lilbeanfolk]

I'm surprised how negative this line has gotten, I'm going to be leaving this group! I think as step-parents we need to embrace the positive moments, and I don't really see them being even acknowledged!

I'm kinda bummed by this, I really have embraced and been so thrilled to find this thread as a place of like people who can voice those feelings we have about our role in sometimes unusual family circumstances, whether they be negative, possitive, confused, sad etc without being judged. It's one of the things I've struggled with these last 5 years, fitting in to this new role without others to talk to about "are these feelings normal", there are more new moms, new wives generally to talk to than step moms. I have to admit though, just like journaling, it's most usually the struggles and the negatives that get voiced, not the accomplishments or happy times, I think we tend to horde and cherish those for ourselves.
One of my cherished SD memories is, she called and left a message on my voice mail two years ago when i was alone on mothers day saying happy mothers day and that she loved me. It was the only call I received that day, and I still have it saved on my cell phone and listen too it when I'm down.

 

[cowboys angel]

Awwww so cute!

 

[tallybee]

I'm surprised how negative this line has gotten, I'm going to be leaving this group! I think as step-parents we need to embrace the positive moments, and I don't really see them being even acknowledged!

I'm kinda bummed by this, I really have embraced and been so thrilled to find this thread as a place of like people who can voice those feelings we have about our role in sometimes unusual family circumstances, whether they be negative, possitive, confused, sad etc without being judged. It's one of the things I've struggled with these last 5 years, fitting in to this new role without others to talk to about "are these feelings normal", there are more new moms, new wives generally to talk to than step moms. I have to admit though, just like journaling, it's most usually the struggles and the negatives that get voiced, not the accomplishments or happy times, I think we tend to horde and cherish those for ourselves.
One of my cherished SD memories is, she called and left a message on my voice mail two years ago when i was alone on mothers day saying happy mothers day and that she loved me. It was the only call I received that day, and I still have it saved on my cell phone and listen too it when I'm down.

Oh hon that's beautiful That just brought a tear to my eyes

 

[Lownthwaite]

I'm surprised how negative this line has gotten, I'm going to be leaving this group! I think as step-parents we need to embrace the positive moments, and I don't really see them being even acknowledged!

I'm kinda bummed by this, I really have embraced and been so thrilled to find this thread as a place of like people who can voice those feelings we have about our role in sometimes unusual family circumstances, whether they be negative, possitive, confused, sad etc without being judged. It's one of the things I've struggled with these last 5 years, fitting in to this new role without others to talk to about "are these feelings normal", there are more new moms, new wives generally to talk to than step moms. I have to admit though, just like journaling, it's most usually the struggles and the negatives that get voiced, not the accomplishments or happy times, I think we tend to horde and cherish those for ourselves.
One of my cherished SD memories is, she called and left a message on my voice mail two years ago when i was alone on mothers day saying happy mothers day and that she loved me. It was the only call I received that day, and I still have it saved on my cell phone and listen too it when I'm down.

Thats lovely!

 

[lilbeanfolk]

Thanks guys, I'm sure we all have those cherished moments, it's just we need support during the tough times, I'm very very glad I've found you all. Hugs and happy rest of your weekends!!

 

[tallybee]

 

[cowboys angel]

My SD has, for the hundredth time, told us she would rather live with us and she wants me to be her "real mommy"

 

[lilbeanfolk]

My SD has, for the hundredth time, told us she would rather live with us and she wants me to be her "real mommy"

That's rough!! We've gotten that for the last 5 years also, my SD even said in divorce court when the judge asked her who she wanted to live with "my father, he's the one who always takes care of me" and they still awarded custody to her mom. Now, SD is graduating high school next year, so she's decided when she's 18 and can decide for herself, she wants to move with us to go to college. We'll see how that turns out. She loves her mom, but...
It's rough because once the judge makes that decision, it's very very difficult to prove that the awarded parent is incompetent. Hugs to you hun, love her while she's with you and teach her well.

 

[cowboys angel]

That's all I can do.

 

[tallybee]