step parents support thread

[cowboys angel]

Sounds like (over-all) a fun day!

 

[tallybee]

Ooo Inge sounds like a long day...

 

[Inge]

yep it was we think he was a little grumpy as well cos he didnt go to sleep early and was awake at 7am.
Also we just heard from MIL (she works with ss's mums friend) who told us ss's mum is really depressed and crying all the time because we had a baby and her friend is pregnant so now she wants another baby She tried to pressure OH into getting married when her friend did when they were together and got pregnant in secret by OH because her friend was also pregnant, so she just wants to have what other people have.
Obviously we dont mind if she does have another but she moans so much with a 9yr old and says she cant cope so how could she cope with a newborn at the same time as a stroppy little boy?
J was lovely to Leo this morning (trying to dress him and showing him tricks on his scooter) Leo loves it when he see's his brother, its just sometimes he doesnt realise Leo is delicate and cant take what another 9 yr old can. Hes usually lovely (always wants me to watch him do stuff and ask for me before his dad) but when he gets tired and grumpy then he can be a mega pain

 

[tallybee]

Oh dear... I hope she doesn't get pregnant! That sounds like it'd be a total disaster...

xx

 

[Inge]

she'll more then likely go off the idea once she gets another idea going.
OH is off for 2 wks but hes not going to help my weightloss! he keeps buying junk

 

[tallybee]

Oh noes! We always have tempting junk in the house, it's torture

 

[Inge]

yep. Today iv steered away. OH wanted a mcdonalds and I just had a diet coke and no burger - wow

 

[cowboys angel]

Urg...........

So my OH's ex had Evie for a week. than we had an over night, then she had the holiday weekend.

She decided to go out of state with Evie and not bring her back for our overnight. Going to the court tomorrow morning to file a complaint and to request a change of custody. We are worried they are either not coming back at all this time, or another time as she obviously doesn't care about us seeing Evie. She sent him a text saying she wasn't bringing Evie back cuz obviously he didn't want to see his daughter if his 'little whore' (me) was the one picking Evie up.

For 8 months now me and her boyfriend have both picked up/dropped Evie off. Now that she knows we're married, she's throwing her fit.

 

[netty]

i need a rant not had to for a while

will be back when boys calmed down and i can think straight

urghhhhhh

 

[Lownthwaite]

i need a rant not had to for a while

will be back when boys calmed down and i can think straight

urghhhhhh

 

[netty]

well where do i start?

my sd is 12 and visits us 1 evening a week for tea and every other weekend. The ex lives with her mum and they have been a nightmare ever since the beginning.
They have spoilt the sd and she never goes without from them and we also buy the three kids things and take them out and on holidays etc. On the other hand my son's dad does not really give a monkies about him and doesnt take him anywhere or buy anything for him etc although he owns two houses, good pension and good wages but hey ho I cant force his son on him.

Sunday my sons xbox died. I took it to the shop and they were going to send it away to be repaired and could take up to 1 month. It is nearly out or warranty so bought another one new and will sell the other one when it is repaired or replaced.

While i was out with him up town my husband had tears at home cos my son got an x box and she got nothing (however we had spent £75 the day before on a pencil case and school bag for her!). There were a few texts going between sd and her mum and then sd got a text from her nan saying she is not happy with dad and should know better etc and should be ashamed of his behaviour

Apparently she is still talking to her cousins about it - how its not fair etc.
This is the girl going to disneyland for 2 weeks in 6 weeks time - been on 3 holidays with us this year. If my son wants a game or anything he saves up his pocket money however the next time she comes over she has what he wants - like one upmanship.

She has had a new xbox already this year as she wanted a new style one (bought by her mum after we said no)

I dont want to worry about replacing my sons toys without shitty texts from them. I honestly thought 5 years in we would have resolved all this shite but obviously not!
I thought she had improved over the summer but obviously her mum and nan are adding fuel to the fire!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[cowboys angel]

I'm sorry. I understand what you're dealing with much better than I wish I did. We have the same thing coming from my SD's bio-mom.

 

[Lownthwaite]

That's awful Netty!

You shouldn't have to back up things you buy for your son by buying something for your SD just because your SD's mother is uppity about it!

I wouldn't mind - but it certainly doesn't sound like SD is hard done by!!!

What does your OH say about all this?

 

[netty]

he is very disappointed in sd spoilt behaviour and even more disappointed she felt the need to text her mum about it but he feels helpless and cant say anything to his ex .

He also doesnt want to talk to sd about it as doesnt want to push her away

she has been for tea tonght and is fine - like nothing has happenend!! Hopefully a storm in a teacup and will soon settle down again.
He is happy for me to buy my son what and when i want!

Thanks for reading and your support girls - just so hard and frustrating sometimes

 

[Lownthwaite]

he is very disappointed in sd spoilt behaviour and even more disappointed she felt the need to text her mum about it but he feels helpless and cant say anything to his ex .

He also doesnt want to talk to sd about it as doesnt want to push her away

she has been for tea tonght and is fine - like nothing has happenend!! Hopefully a storm in a teacup and will soon settle down again.
He is happy for me to buy my son what and when i want!

Thanks for reading and your support girls - just so hard and frustrating sometimes

I hope it's all forgotten soon.

That's what we are all here for!

 

[xpensivtaste]

i hate complaining about being a step parent but it really gets me down that i am having my life run by my OH's ex.

my relationship is brilliant and the only thing we ever seem to argue over is the fact nobody will stand up to his evil ex regarding SD. just recently EX has been treating us like glorified babysitters....saying we can have SD one min but not the next. we are supposed to have her every weekend but for the past month or 2 EX has decided we have SD when SHE wants. last weekend we had SD, this weekend we were not supposed to but low and behold its OH's birthday next weekend so EX text MIL saying we can have her today from this afternoon (knowing SD has to go back early tomorrow as OH works and SD has school on monday) so he literally gets about 3 hours quality time with SD and doesnt get to see her on his birthday.
its completely out of spite. she seems to do this a lot lately, change plans last second so our life is on hold waiting for a text off MIL (as EX wont contact OH directly)
I have said to OH i think its time someone told her she cant play these games and tells her NO we are going to pick SD up next weekend so we can have her all weekend not just a couple hours tonight and maybe an hour in the morning. its not on! he just said to me he doesnt wanna hear it. no point talking to EX as she doesnt listen and doesnt care. I just wish someone would knock her off her high horse. so peeved!

 

[cowboys angel]

 

[lilbeanfolk]

i hate complaining about being a step parent but it really gets me down that i am having my life run by my OH's ex.

my relationship is brilliant and the only thing we ever seem to argue over is the fact nobody will stand up to his evil ex regarding SD. just recently EX has been treating us like glorified babysitters....saying we can have SD one min but not the next. we are supposed to have her every weekend but for the past month or 2 EX has decided we have SD when SHE wants. last weekend we had SD, this weekend we were not supposed to but low and behold its OH's birthday next weekend so EX text MIL saying we can have her today from this afternoon (knowing SD has to go back early tomorrow as OH works and SD has school on monday) so he literally gets about 3 hours quality time with SD and doesnt get to see her on his birthday.
its completely out of spite. she seems to do this a lot lately, change plans last second so our life is on hold waiting for a text off MIL (as EX wont contact OH directly)
I have said to OH i think its time someone told her she cant play these games and tells her NO we are going to pick SD up next weekend so we can have her all weekend not just a couple hours tonight and maybe an hour in the morning. its not on! he just said to me he doesnt wanna hear it. no point talking to EX as she doesnt listen and doesnt care. I just wish someone would knock her off her high horse. so peeved!

How frustrating for you both!! Does it not state in the custody aggreement when he has her?? If she is not keeping up her end I would have the OH contact the mediator, she's not allowed to do that if there is legal documentation as to custody arraingments. Thankfully we haven't had this problem in quite a while, plus we now live so far away we have to fly SD here, so no plan changes, we get bitched at a lot about our flight choices, but I say she can bitch and be heard when she starts paying for the flights!! Hope all works out better for you, it's not cool that you can't plan anything and have to be on notice at the drop of a hat to pick up your step.

 

[Inge]

again OH has had to go back and forth 3 times tonigh with SS as his mum want something.. Cant she do it all in one go? Shes being difficult on purpose again. Maybe theyll get back before 9pm?they had to go back as ss's mum made him go home because she got chips form the chipshop and brought him a game... so a 40min drive for chips god knows why OH went running to her again

 

[cowboys angel]

Anyone else hate the first 24 hours or so after you get steppies from the ex????