step parents support thread

[cowboys angel]

She's very happy. Her mom told her that hubby walked out on them.

He would never walk out on his child, he adores all his children. Unfortunately he's really good at finding psychotic women to have babies with and marry. I'm his 3rd wife. Makes me worry a bit about my own sanity,

But she's thrilled. I found her on FB (She still has his last name and looks just like his second daughter who is 8) and added her to his FB and then told him afterwards. He cried.

 

[TheNewMrs]

Girls I cannot handle this Step-Parent thing at all. SS-Mum has added me on FB because "she wants to see what kind of person her son will be influenced by" which was fair enough. Now she's posting photos of her and hubby and then the 3 of them from years ago. Hubby doesnt want the photos of them on FB AND EITHER DO I!!! Then we had him this Sunday gone and we (as we do every Sunday) went to Church only this time we had SS with us. We go to a Christian Church but Ireland is a predominately Catholic country and most people just go with it for tradition rather than beliefs. SS isnt brought to church by his mum or anyone else for that matter. He has made his Communion as part of his school class but that is the only time he's attended Mass since he was a baby if not for Weddings, Funerals ect. So anyway. Hubby thought "well she didnt consult me about raising him Catholic so I dont really need to run it by her about bringing him to church. Anyway she FLIPPED! Crazy woman went mental! Now might I just add that the same woman brings the kid to the PUB on her weekends??? Seriously!!

She spent most of last night uploading and tagging photos of her & hubby. Shes being as nice as pie to me commenting on all my status', giving me UNWANTED pregnancy advice and even inviting me out for coffee. I cannot take this CRAP anymore. This is way more than I signed up for.

Does this get any better? Ever?

 

[cowboys angel]

I'm the wrong person to ask that question Mrs, but

Also...virtual belly rub! Haha I love baby bumps...

 

[TheNewMrs]

I'm the wrong person to ask that question Mrs, but

Also...virtual belly rub! Haha I love baby bumps...

Thank you hun! I am starting to get bigger now! I feel actually pregnant not just fat!

 

[rjsmam]

ooooooh err that's tough having her as a friend on FB... my ss's mother requested to add me but i ignored her... no danger!!!! could you hide her statuses so you don't have to see her crap if you can't delete her?

 

[TheNewMrs]

ooooooh err that's tough having her as a friend on FB... my ss's mother requested to add me but i ignored her... no danger!!!! could you hide her statuses so you don't have to see her crap if you can't delete her?

I put her on "restricted" today. But seriously, I know I'm pregnant and hormonal and whatnot but I do NOT want to see photos of my husband with this woman!!!

I wish SHE had a delete button.

 

[rjsmam]

ooooooh err that's tough having her as a friend on FB... my ss's mother requested to add me but i ignored her... no danger!!!! could you hide her statuses so you don't have to see her crap if you can't delete her?

I put her on "restricted" today. But seriously, I know I'm pregnant and hormonal and whatnot but I do NOT want to see photos of my husband with this woman!!!

I wish SHE had a delete button.

hahaha i can sympathise... DELETE/ERASE/REMOVE would be ace

 

[tallybee]

Hi everyone! Looks like an eventful few weeks in here while I've been off writing essays and reports

I've not seen the steppies for yonks but OH has been taking them to the movies at weekends when possible. They are still planning to come to the wedding, kilt hire is organised and everything! OH thought their mum would be a bitch about it, arranged for me to go collect the kilts, then she turned round and said she would do it (knowing that if I collect them I would have to go round to drop them off and she might have to look at me )

xx

 

[Inge]

Hello girls! hmm... were do I start?
OH and I had a tiff and he stormed off and got beer last week. Only had 1, the rebel!
He admitted after hes stressed about the SS issues. He never listens to anyone, talks back, swears constantly (this is a 9 years old by the way - he hangs around with 16-20 year olds) and just wants to break everything and cause havoc
OH even said he feels more connection to Leo then to his oldest son I understand that as she didnt let OH near her or his son soon as she was pregnant (apparently she was on the pill, got pregnant 2 months in to the relationship) and months after the birth, and hes here every day with Leo and shares so much with him. He was at Leos birth whereas he was banned from his sons birth.
We have a 2 bed house and SS says its HIS room not Leos Leo is here everyday in the corner of our bedroom and SS has a single bed, chest and tv in the second room (hes only here 4-10 days a month) and has his mums house, both grandparents and ours. I think hes being spoilt as in each of these 3 houses he has a big double bedroom, double bed, flatcreen tv, chest, 2 games consoles and free run to do what ever he wants, so when hes here he hates it. Well wer putting Leo in the second room as I dont want him to have to be in with us forever because SS doesnt share, Its Leos home, hes here all the time and I dont want him to feel hes in the way The last 2 nights Leo wouldnt sleep cos SS kept turning his tv on and pulling Leo up and down his cot so I ended up sleeping on the sofa holding Leo.
Im not sure if anyone remembers but a while ago I said about him messing himself and thinking its funny.. well I had to bleach a load of underwear as his mum has never actually taught him to wipe,flush or even wash his hands after using the toilet This is a 9 year old boy
When we have him over wer so strained and Leo gets so stressed out and doesnt sleep (hes never left alone, SS keeps picking him up and putting him down over and over again and Leo doesnt like being messed around with)
I really worry Leos gonna pick up on this bad behaviour and think its ok. I mean what will he think if he gets told off but his brother doesnt?

 

[Inge]

also BM has decided to move house again... they moved just 1 year ago (tenancies with our council has a limit of 1 yr then you can move) so he will have gone to eveery school (5) in the town and he is in year 5 so next year is his last of primary school
ok.. all my thoughts are out now! Do I step back and let OH do what he wants regarding SS? OH has given up disiplining him so dont know what to do

 

[cowboys angel]

Don't step down! Then he will see that no one is disciplining him and it will only get worse. I know it's hard, but stay strong mama!

 

[Lownthwaite]

Hello girls! hmm... were do I start?
OH and I had a tiff and he stormed off and got beer last week. Only had 1, the rebel!
He admitted after hes stressed about the SS issues. He never listens to anyone, talks back, swears constantly (this is a 9 years old by the way - he hangs around with 16-20 year olds) and just wants to break everything and cause havoc
OH even said he feels more connection to Leo then to his oldest son I understand that as she didnt let OH near her or his son soon as she was pregnant (apparently she was on the pill, got pregnant 2 months in to the relationship) and months after the birth, and hes here every day with Leo and shares so much with him. He was at Leos birth whereas he was banned from his sons birth.
We have a 2 bed house and SS says its HIS room not Leos Leo is here everyday in the corner of our bedroom and SS has a single bed, chest and tv in the second room (hes only here 4-10 days a month) and has his mums house, both grandparents and ours. I think hes being spoilt as in each of these 3 houses he has a big double bedroom, double bed, flatcreen tv, chest, 2 games consoles and free run to do what ever he wants, so when hes here he hates it. Well wer putting Leo in the second room as I dont want him to have to be in with us forever because SS doesnt share, Its Leos home, hes here all the time and I dont want him to feel hes in the way The last 2 nights Leo wouldnt sleep cos SS kept turning his tv on and pulling Leo up and down his cot so I ended up sleeping on the sofa holding Leo.
Im not sure if anyone remembers but a while ago I said about him messing himself and thinking its funny.. well I had to bleach a load of underwear as his mum has never actually taught him to wipe,flush or even wash his hands after using the toilet This is a 9 year old boy
When we have him over wer so strained and Leo gets so stressed out and doesnt sleep (hes never left alone, SS keeps picking him up and putting him down over and over again and Leo doesnt like being messed around with)
I really worry Leos gonna pick up on this bad behaviour and think its ok. I mean what will he think if he gets told off but his brother doesnt?

No advice I'm affraid but I totally understand where you are coming from with this!

We are lucky enough to have 3 bedrooms so SS and DD have their own rooms although SS's is the biggest even though he is only here one night a week!

Not an issue right now but when DD is older and needs more room I can see it becoming an issue.

SS is also allowed to get away with things that I don't see acceptable - I also worry that DD will not understand why she can't do things but SS can?!?!

Also - SS also wets himself still! He's 7 for gods sake!!



..................rant over!!

 

[Inge]

oh my god BM has told OH he has to give her £78 for a new front door cos they broke it! Jus tbecause they have a child together does not mean he has to buy her things! They have to fix it or they cant more for the 10th time not our problem...
Iv not told her she has to pay for a new tv unit that we need so how come she thinks that we have to buy her stuff? OH has enough bills out this month (rent car tax) seriously some people are stupid

 

[tallybee]

Eeek! Yep OH's ex is one of the ones that expects to be kept for life, wanting money for this and that on top of the maintenance she gets. She'll get a bloody shock when that stops!

 

[cowboys angel]

UGH!

So we picked up SD yesterday for the weekend. Her mom has sent a note that says Evie has lice, but she didn't have time to treat her.

Bull shit! We didn't pick her up til 4 hours after school got out.

Lazy ass bitch.

And breathe.

 

[Inge]

mmm.. is a film rated 15 with knife crime,guns, swearing and a weed factory in someones house and lots of drug gags and blood and injuries suitable for a 9 yr old? we just found out BM let SS watch a film like that twice this week and now he cant stop swearing, kicking stuff and just getting on OHs nerves completely Aye this will be a long weekend. Had a bath and all I could here was " dont do that" and " dont do that to Leo"
Cowboys - she would have had time. We have 15min treatment lotion in the UK for lice and it works not suyre if you have "Full Marks" in the US but its very good

 

[cowboys angel]

Oh I know she had time. It took me 25 minutes to do. She's just lazy and a shit mom. I'm honestly surprised she even told us!

Oh and Evie had asked if she could get her ears pierced for the second time for her birthday and that BM had told her she needed to ask Daddy so Daddy didn't take her to court again.

Terry told Evie he would not discuss that with her, her mommy needed to discuss it with him. So the note also said that she wanted him to let her or Evie know what his answer was cuz she didn't want him dragging her to court again.

Ugh.

For one, she's 7 and it's unnecessary. For another, she seriously needs to quit using Evie like this. We have never dragged her to court over stupid shit, only when she's done something against court order or equally ridiculous and refuses to speak with us.

UGH!!

And breathe. Lol

 

[TheNewMrs]

OH LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH TO NOT KILL THIS WOMAN!

Rant ON!

So my friends husband passed away suddenly on Monday, I've been with her since Monday. She's 28 and now a widow with 3 small kids, 8,5 and 2years old. Because of the nature of his death a post mortum was needed and the body was not released till Weds morning, so the funeral took place on Thursday. Hubby and the deceased friend were very close.

On Saturday both myself and hubby decided to put BM on "restricted" on FB. She obv knew something was up and blocked us both. Fair enough, I didnt care tbh!

So by court order hubby is supposed to pick up SS at 6pm every Thurs and drop him back for 9pm. We rushed back from the funeral, got changed and hubby went up to pick him up. He got there at 6.02. Nobody home. He came back home and called BM. She said "oh were away" he replied "well your supposed to let me know if I cant take him" and she replied "oh! am I?" and HUNG UP!!!

So tonight was hubbys night to have SS stay over. He text BM to say "I'll be up at 6.30 to pick up SS and will drop him homeat 6.30 tomorro evening"
She replied "C*** (SS) doesnt want to come up to you"
He replied "That's ok, I havent seen him all week so Ill b up at 6.30 to see him anyway as I have something for him"
She replied "We will be busy"

WTH is this womans issue? Its a COURT ORDER! Not an option! She is refusing point blank to allow hubby to see SS. He asked when can he take him instead of thurs & this weekend and she said "we'll see".

How do we deal with that?

RANT OFF

Im just so upset because my friends kids dont have a choice. They'll never see their Daddy again. My husband is dying to spend time with his son and she's not letting him, how damn selfish!

 

[Lownthwaite]

OH LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH TO NOT KILL THIS WOMAN!

Rant ON!

So my friends husband passed away suddenly on Monday, I've been with her since Monday. She's 28 and now a widow with 3 small kids, 8,5 and 2years old. Because of the nature of his death a post mortum was needed and the body was not released till Weds morning, so the funeral took place on Thursday. Hubby and the deceased friend were very close.

On Saturday both myself and hubby decided to put BM on "restricted" on FB. She obv knew something was up and blocked us both. Fair enough, I didnt care tbh!

So by court order hubby is supposed to pick up SS at 6pm every Thurs and drop him back for 9pm. We rushed back from the funeral, got changed and hubby went up to pick him up. He got there at 6.02. Nobody home. He came back home and called BM. She said "oh were away" he replied "well your supposed to let me know if I cant take him" and she replied "oh! am I?" and HUNG UP!!!

So tonight was hubbys night to have SS stay over. He text BM to say "I'll be up at 6.30 to pick up SS and will drop him homeat 6.30 tomorro evening"
She replied "C*** (SS) doesnt want to come up to you"
He replied "That's ok, I havent seen him all week so Ill b up at 6.30 to see him anyway as I have something for him"
She replied "We will be busy"

WTH is this womans issue? Its a COURT ORDER! Not an option! She is refusing point blank to allow hubby to see SS. He asked when can he take him instead of thurs & this weekend and she said "we'll see".

How do we deal with that?

RANT OFF

Im just so upset because my friends kids dont have a choice. They'll never see their Daddy again. My husband is dying to spend time with his son and she's not letting him, how damn selfish!

That's awful - I'm so sad for your friend and her LO's and so angry for you and your OH!

I'd contact your lawyer and tell them BM has gone against the court order - you can't really do anything yourselves but the law can!!!

 

[cowboys angel]

Contact your lawyer if you have one, or file a complaint. DO NOT file at friend of the court. File a complaint with the judge. That's what we had to do recently and BM got put in her place and threatened with consequences (jail time and fines) if it happens again.