step parents support thread

[TheNewMrs]

We need to wait till Monday to contact the lawyer. It looks like we'll be going back to court indeed. The last 2 times it was settled outside the courtroom and then signed by the judge to make it a legally binding agreement. This time hubby wants to go before the judge and plead his case, and have actual consequences if she goes against the order. Ireland is such a messed up country. Fathers have little or no rights at all....

 

[cowboys angel]

Our thing was that we felt she needed a legal consequence or she'd just keep pulling this shit. Good luck babes!


By the way, ladies, keep your fingers crossed! Taking preg test tomorrow!

 

[Lownthwaite]

Our thing was that we felt she needed a legal consequence or she'd just keep pulling this shit. Good luck babes!


By the way, ladies, keep your fingers crossed! Taking preg test tomorrow!

Keep us posted!!

 

[cowboys angel]

Our thing was that we felt she needed a legal consequence or she'd just keep pulling this shit. Good luck babes!


By the way, ladies, keep your fingers crossed! Taking preg test tomorrow!

Keep us posted!!

Negative...retaking on Tuesday

 

[Lownthwaite]

Our thing was that we felt she needed a legal consequence or she'd just keep pulling this shit. Good luck babes!


By the way, ladies, keep your fingers crossed! Taking preg test tomorrow!

Keep us posted!!

Negative...retaking on Tuesday

Oohhhh heres hoping AF stays away!!!

 

[cowboys angel]

Thanks

 

[tallybee]

ooh FX for you cowboys angel!

TheNewMrs- oh how horrible I hope your lawyer can help.

The boys stayed over Friday night and we had a great time, all singing and dancing round the kitchen, and J said that he thought we have a lot of fun in our house... it really touched us, the way he said it. I think he sees his mum as quite boring

xx

 

[cowboys angel]

Glad you had a good time Tally!

NewMrs - keep us posted!

 

[xpensivtaste]

MY MONTHLY STEPMUMMY RANT!
i am concerned that SD is coming to ours pretty much every weekend riddled in headlice. understandable with school and such but i am talking RIDDLED. we do her hair twice over the weekend near enough every weekend we have her because its that bad and guaranteed the following weekend she comes she has them to the same extent again. it frustrates me because her mum cannot check her hair! its inevitable for kids to get them, i admit! my daughter gets them from time to time but i check every couple of days and i get rid straight away if i find any. i just think its a responsibility for us and her mum.
we cant talk to her mum as she is not interested in what we have to say. as long as she gets her money she is happy.

also as she has been doing for sometime now she is still playing silly games regarding access. wont give us a straight answer for what days we can have SD over half term, dictates which weekends we can and cant pick her up which is getting less and less lately.
i dont doubt that SD as been talking about her baby brother as she is very excited and i suspect this is the problem! seems to me everytime she hears about something in our lives changing, like us getting engaged or wanting to go on holiday or anything to do with my pregnancy she starts messing us about. she is very jealous and doesnt care that the main person she is hurting in all this is SD.
SD has cried her heart out about going back to her mums the past couple of times we have had her as she doesnt know when she is coming again. for instance last weekend she was on holiday, next weekend she is at a party (friday - yet wont allow us to pick SD on saturday) she seems to be going to an awful lot of parties lately but when we ask SD if she had a good time, 1 in 3 times she doesnt know what we are talking about but that ould be down to the fact she is 5 so i am not going to make accusations but from the way it looks.......

its soooo frustrating for us! i dread to think if she finds out the date of our wedding because she will stop SD coming for sure!
i wonder what will happen over christmas as i am due on the 23rd. anyway that SD's mum can throw a spanner in the works she will. we are already not allowed SD on christmas or birthdays. we have to pick her up boxing day but i would like her to see her brother when he is born if indeed he is born on time.
such a stress....

 

[cowboys angel]

MY MONTHLY STEPMUMMY RANT!
i am concerned that SD is coming to ours pretty much every weekend riddled in headlice. understandable with school and such but i am talking RIDDLED. we do her hair twice over the weekend near enough every weekend we have her because its that bad and guaranteed the following weekend she comes she has them to the same extent again. it frustrates me because her mum cannot check her hair! its inevitable for kids to get them, i admit! my daughter gets them from time to time but i check every couple of days and i get rid straight away if i find any. i just think its a responsibility for us and her mum.
we cant talk to her mum as she is not interested in what we have to say. as long as she gets her money she is happy.

also as she has been doing for sometime now she is still playing silly games regarding access. wont give us a straight answer for what days we can have SD over half term, dictates which weekends we can and cant pick her up which is getting less and less lately.
i dont doubt that SD as been talking about her baby brother as she is very excited and i suspect this is the problem! seems to me everytime she hears about something in our lives changing, like us getting engaged or wanting to go on holiday or anything to do with my pregnancy she starts messing us about. she is very jealous and doesnt care that the main person she is hurting in all this is SD.
SD has cried her heart out about going back to her mums the past couple of times we have had her as she doesnt know when she is coming again. for instance last weekend she was on holiday, next weekend she is at a party (friday - yet wont allow us to pick SD on saturday) she seems to be going to an awful lot of parties lately but when we ask SD if she had a good time, 1 in 3 times she doesnt know what we are talking about but that ould be down to the fact she is 5 so i am not going to make accusations but from the way it looks.......

its soooo frustrating for us! i dread to think if she finds out the date of our wedding because she will stop SD coming for sure!
i wonder what will happen over christmas as i am due on the 23rd. anyway that SD's mum can throw a spanner in the works she will. we are already not allowed SD on christmas or birthdays. we have to pick her up boxing day but i would like her to see her brother when he is born if indeed he is born on time.
such a stress....

We're in pretty much the same spot, but our BM can't dictate what says we have SD without landing in jail.

Are your pays with your SD not court ordered?

 

[xpensivtaste]

MY MONTHLY STEPMUMMY RANT!

We're in pretty much the same spot, but our BM can't dictate what says we have SD without landing in jail.

Are your pays with your SD not court ordered?

nope, nothing is court ordered....OH threatened court once when she tried to stop access and she crapped herself. we are trying to avoid court at all costs but its getting too much now. OH and MIL are getting sick of her behaviour.....as am i ofcourse but it would have to be his decision to go to court and i dont think she has pushed him far enough yet. she will one day though. i would go to court in a second if it was my choice but i have to consider we have a baby due soon and are currently in the process of paying for our wedding and looking to move to a bigger house so affording court on top of all that is going to be a massive strain financially. its just a matter of keeping her sweet where OH and his mum are concerned but i dont think she deserves to be calling the shots the way she is. this is a 5 year old childs life we are talking about not a possession she use as a weapon against when ever she feels like it.

 

[cowboys angel]

My SD's mom is the exact same way. We finally did take her to court, as the visitations were ordered by the court as part of their divorce settlement. The judge was pissed, ordered her to give us 2 24 hour periods to replace what she kept SD away from us for, and threatened 93 days in jail and $500-something in fines.

 

[Inge]

well...
Leo is back in our bedroom til he needs a bed as Im not standing for this Leo likes to chat to himself at 7am when he wakes up, hes a baby he babbles to himself! which resulted in SS shouting and swearing at him to shut up So Oh took Leo downstairs as he didnt like being shouted at and started to cry. Then I had a nice bubble bath, face mask and all and then the shouting started... Leo screaming at the top of his lungs and SS laughing at him and daying "hes so F***ing funny- shut the f*** up" and calling him names right in his face, making him cry more. OH came up to talk through the bathroom door to me and said "Leos safer up here with you" so I got worried and had to get out. Apparently SS was pulling Leo down the stairs by his legs Nothing would sort him out this weekend and we were both thankful when OH took him to school this morning. I know that sounds bad but when it was that bad
Im tired of needing 2 sets of eyes whenever SS is here, not even OH can discipline him, he just gets sworn at
Leo started being sick again this weekend (think its all the pulling around and being thrown about upset his tummy) and SS was trying to make him go outside on the pavement when my back was turned and when Leo started being sick SS just got up and left him face down in sick
A 9 yr old should know a baby IS NOT a toy and cant be messed around with and hurt and it will be ok. His mum doesnt care even when OH says whats happened so no hope of him ever learning. His mum is someone who lets him hit people and hes hurt all their pets resulting in them all being rehomed but apparently thats what kids do. I know for a fact Leo is never doing anything like this and if he does he will be told off.
Why cant a mother see her child needs disipline and give it?

 

[TheNewMrs]

Update

So the lawyer told us to text her and say "Because I havent had Carl this week at all, I need to reschedule an extra evening this week and then I will take him both this Fri night and next Fri night to make up for not having him last weekend, What evening suits to take him as well as Thurs?"

He said its better to text than to call because at least the conversations can be recorded and used in court. She simply didnt reply....

So we have to meet with the lawyer today...

The part that pisses me off most is that she gets her lawyer for free because she is on state benefits. We have to pay 350Euros every friggin time!!!

Plus I REALLY miss him. He's the cutest kid ever and gives the best hugs....

 

[cowboys angel]

Update

So the lawyer told us to text her and say "Because I havent had Carl this week at all, I need to reschedule an extra evening this week and then I will take him both this Fri night and next Fri night to make up for not having him last weekend, What evening suits to take him as well as Thurs?"

He said its better to text than to call because at least the conversations can be recorded and used in court. She simply didnt reply....

So we have to meet with the lawyer today...

The part that pisses me off most is that she gets her lawyer for free because she is on state benefits. We have to pay 350Euros every friggin time!!!

Plus I REALLY miss him. He's the cutest kid ever and gives the best hugs....

Glad your lawyer has some advice. We only ever text or write notes to BM (with multiple copies in case one or two conveniently disappear) cuz they can be used in court if necessary. Hope everything works out for you.

 

[tallybee]

Update

So the lawyer told us to text her and say "Because I havent had Carl this week at all, I need to reschedule an extra evening this week and then I will take him both this Fri night and next Fri night to make up for not having him last weekend, What evening suits to take him as well as Thurs?"

He said its better to text than to call because at least the conversations can be recorded and used in court. She simply didnt reply....

So we have to meet with the lawyer today...

The part that pisses me off most is that she gets her lawyer for free because she is on state benefits. We have to pay 350Euros every friggin time!!!

Plus I REALLY miss him. He's the cutest kid ever and gives the best hugs....

This is the same as us xx

 

[Inge]

BM needs a mother of the year award... OH told me about when SS was first born and he had to pick him up from her house. She wouldnt change him until OH took him back to his parents house which could have been hours! Same went for bottles too What mother would leave her child hungry and dirty just so his dad can deal with it?
A few weeks ago I said how shes brought Leo a bumper family pack of chocolate stars? She was telling me Leo will be fine eating them at 8 months old (age at xmas) as she gave SS chocolate buttons at 3 months
OH has SS tomorow so Im expecting some tension. Wish me, OH and BM could work together to sort his behaviour out but she thinks everything he does is normal maybe in her dysfuntional family but to everyday people its not good behaviour at all

 

[tallybee]

Ah Inge what a nightmare.. Some people are just in their bubble beyond any degree of normality and there's unfortunately not a lot can be done. I cannot believe anyone would think giving chocolate to babies is OK ffs but from what you've said about that woman anything's possible!

We're mega excited for the wedding tomorrow and my soon-to-be official SSs are going to be with us dressed in kilts! So good!

xx

 

[rjsmam]

huge congrats for tomorrow Tallybee - such a special day! enjoy every minute

xox

 

[TheNewMrs]

I want to scream!

Hubby arrived up to pick up SS this evening at 6, yet again, nobody home. Called BM's phone, no answer, called again. Went straight to voicemail.

I want to murder that evil horrible woman!