Hi girls
This is a long post as I'm playing catch up, so grab a nice cup of tea and get comfortable
Myturn - I had a salpingectomy (where they removed my right tube) through keyhole surgery. It took about 3 weeks for the pain and bruising to subside, especially around my bellybutton. It went all yellow and purple and I think it was infected for a while, but I made sure I put some Bactroban (antibacterial ointment) on it, which really helped. I had severe shouldertip pain from the gas for a while but that seemed to work its way out. This was 18 months ago, and the only side effect I have is right ovary pain, which usually happens around the start of AF and I think could be caused by adhesions inside (don't know for sure). I was absolutely petrified to have the surgery, especially since the gynae came in to see me and said I was being bumped down the queue to make way for another girl who 'was really severe and looked awful, much worse than me'. I remember thinking 'if I'm here with no symptoms are they really positive it's an ectopic?' but it was, and I had to trust that they were doing the right thing. You will have pain in that area for a while. The best thing to do is not to soak the scars in water too much. Use bio-oil/Vit E oil to reduce swelling (mine are hardly noticeable now) and take painkillers if you can. I had bloodtests every 2 days for about a week and a half to make sure the HCG went to zero (it was low to start with). We're all here for you and if you ever want to talk we're all here for you. The girls on this forum are really lovely and very generous with their time and their shoulders are pretty broad!
Pink - that's such an AWESOME nickname for your mom!! And look at your little bubba in your scan pic....that's really boosted my spirits, so lovely and happy for you honey
Kaznib - *BIG GIANT HUG* I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. It's a really devastating experience to go through. How are you holding up? I see you've gone back to work after a week, I hope you are ok and weren't forced into returning before you're ready. Folic acid is great, they usually advise to wait until your HCG is at zero before starting with folic acid, as methotrexate strips your body of folic acid. Other than that, maybe just some B vitamins and some magnesium will help your body get back to normal. I also took an iron supplement called Floradix (if you're in the UK you can get it at Tesco's or a Holland and Barrett). I also think your dreams are your subconscious' way of dealing with the emotions in a way that's healing for you. I slept fine the first few weeks after the surgery but then something switched in me and I woke myself up crying the one night and I couldn't tell you why, I was just SO incredibly sad. I'm sorry for all the sad talk, but I think that it's so common for our minds to keep thinking about it even when we actively try not to, but I think the more you try not to think about it, the harder it becomes to deal with later on. I thought I was fine until 3 months down the line when I visited a pregnant friend - I drove home in floods of tears. If you need to speak to someone that will often help, even if they don't offer advice, they just listen.
Pixxie - your cupcakes sound lush!!! I love red velvet
Did you do cream cheese frosting? personally I like to use mascarpone instead of cream cheese and not make it as sweet with sugar. Yummy! How's the BD'ing going, any +ve OPKs??
Lucy - hello my sugar. How are you doing? Has the spotting gone away yet? What movie did you go and see? Sounds like date night was great fun with you and your DH!
Baby_love - how are you doing honey? Any news? Thinking of you loads and just wishing I could help ease some of the pain and torment you're going through.
Peachy - I'm glad to hear everything's fine with bubs but are you ok?? Are you on fluids to help with rehydration? Sounds like the doctors are looking after you. How is your work handling it? I work in HR so I always get the chills when I hear how managers treat female employees who've had pregnancy-related issues, so I hope for your employers's sake they're treating you well otherwise they'll have me to contend with LOL!!!!
Pixxie - ooh what you planning for your youngest's party?? I see you entered 'the fun time' so I hope you and DH had plenty of time this weekend to 'play poke-her' HAHAHAHAHAH!! P.S. don't blame me for that one, blame my DH....! I'm sorry that your hubby doesn't think IVF is worth a shot. Has he given you any reasons? Initially my hubby felt that IVF wasn't the natural way of having a baby, and when I said to him that in an ideal world, we'd make love and then one day I'd be surprised by a positive pregnancy test (you know you see these scenes in the movies). But the reality of the situation is that I have 1 tube left, which is potentially damaged (hence 2 ectopics) and if we want the family we've dreamt of then we need to accept that there are workarounds that we have to deal with, and if IVF is that workaround we'll deal with it as best we know how. I hope that you have the opportunity to have this discussion with your hubby again in the future, and hopefully he will have had some time to think about it. He may just be scared, or not know how the process works?
AFM - well where to start. AF arrived yesterday to great cramps and sore boobs. I then went to visit my best friend before her and her DH went on holiday and she told me that she's 12 weeks' pregnant. While I was really happy for them, I had a pang of jealousy, as I always thought that either I'd be pregnant first, or we'd be pregnant together (we spoke about being pregnant together and how cool that would be). What did surprise me was my DH's reaction when we left. He was so angry (not with them) and he was cursing and swearing about how unfair life is and he's never let me know until now how he's felt. He said he didn't understand how 2 people who so desperately want a family and who would be great parents would be deprived of it in such a savage way. He really needed to vent and I think he was better later on, but it was strange for me for once to be the strong one and to help him overcome his anger with the situation.
After that we went through to see the IVF consultant and he actually made me feel a lot better. He specialises in women with PCOS who undergo IVF, and the best part was that he's going to put me forward for 1 treatment cycle on the NHS!! My GP had previously said I was too young (I'm 30) as the minimum age was 35, but turns out he was wrong and was working off old info. They'd revised the age to 30-34 because of the effectiveness of IVF the younger you are. So the whole treatment plan will take about 5 months. 3 Months prep work and 8 weeks' treatment. In the meantime I'm having bloods done this week to check hormone levels but we can keep trying until we start the IVF. I have one round of clomid left so am taking it this cycle and we're just going to BD like crazy every night...who knows. I asked about the chance of having an ectopic and apparently it's slightly higher with IVF because I've had 2 previously, but at least they're bypassing the tube, which I think is my biggest issue. So all in all a positive consultation - I just want to get started now, enough of this hanging around and talking!!
Anyway ladies, I've waffled on enough, I'm so sorry if you've just read through all this and gone 'you crazy woman' hahahahah!! I really love reading all your stories and even though I don't know you personally I feel really grateful to be able to talk to you all about this, because I know there's no judgement, only compassion and concern and lovely lovely people
Have a wonderful evening and will catch up soon!! To everyone else I've missed, so sorry, will catch you at next update
Carmen. xx
have a lovely, relaxing Sunday!
It sucks but I have my fingers crossed for you!!! 
I am sending you so much love and hugs your way right now. 
My doctor told us how important it is to heal and although i really am anxious to try again the sensible thing is to wait. So we've booked a nice holiday to look forward to at Easter. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for u and hoping that ur keeping positive whilst ttc x
i will ask in tescos about those vitamins for sure, need to build myself up again, have already started taking folic acid
but staying positive for my future. I also thought i was fine until i spoke to my doctor yesterday and driving home just in floods of tears again x
There is a site that I know of called the ectopic pregnancy foundation (try googling that) and I know the woman who runs the site. She has been collecting information and has a ton of information on ectopic pregnancies and the different kinds. She is also very nice and has a memoral board for familes who want to still remember their child who have parted. I am sending you tons of hugs!!!
this cycle. But I am hoping you won't even have to go there. 
