TCC After Ectopic buddy needed

[Lucy529]

burtch oooh that is exciting i hope that you get that BFP !!! am going to keep my fx for you so that that neg turns into a pos ok am trying my hardest to be positive and you know talking to my hubby about how i feel and actually discussing baby items and names gives me hope that finally a BFP is around the corner for me and i really hope that the other girls waiting are about to get theirs too

pixxie how are you doing my lovely? i hope that things are progressing along smoothly

 

[pixxie1232001]

Lucy-I am so excited for you about getting the go ahead for the clomid!!! I can understand your fears, but just do not expect it to work right away and know that things take time. Most people on clomid deff conceive in the first year. Either way I am so happy for you.

Americana-When I went through my ectopic people tried to tell me that I had no right to grieve because "it was not a real pregnancy, and it would not have ever became a real baby". I also heard a lot of "well it was too little to be considered a life". Some people even went as far as to tell me I had a choice and what I did was have an abortion even though if I did not get the surgery I could have died. That is the very real fear for anyone who has an ectopic. So to be told all this completely killed me inside. It took a while to realize that none of these people went through the ectopic and did not understand that no matter how small or how far along I was, that was still mine and my husbands baby, it still shared our dna, it still could have had a heartbeat and it still could have been someone if in the right place. I did end up finally going through the grieving process when I finally came to terms with that, and did not listen to anyone else.


Burtch-I really hope you get a BFP, sometimes our bodies just take a little bit more time to get enough of that HCG for a positive test. I pray it comes back positive for you.

Lucy & Burtch-I do have a name picked out for the little guy, his name will be Samuel James. I know it is a little old school but I love it and I feel that it fits him perfectly.

AFM I had false labor last night, (again for the 3rd time) and this time my husband literally pressured me into going to the hospital mostly cause my mom pressured him. I kept telling him there was not need to go to the hospital because I did not feel like the contractions were getting strong enough, and that they were not progressing like the should. Instead of listening to me he goes ahead and calls my midwife and my mother and tells me to get into the car. As soon as I get there the nurses pretty much confirmed what I had told him and then shortly after I got checked out, a woman came in and literally in the freaking hallway, her water broke. I could see the nurses crowding around her and it broke my heart cause I knew I was not ready to be there yet and yet my husband pressured me into going. I finally convinced him to let me talk to the nurses about just letting me go home so I could labor at home and the whole way home was just horrible. I do not want to get into it too much, but a lot of very mean, hateful words were said to me, and now I am just a depressed emotional mess today, and in a way very afraid of my husband. I also feel like all I have is my children, no longer him, but I can not leave him....Sorry went off on a rant there but so much happened and I feel so alone right now, even being so close to having this baby.

 

[Lucy529]

pixxie i am so sorry that you are surrounded by people who cannot respect your wishes i hope that things get better with your hubs, maybe he is stressed as well, but that in no way gives him a right to miss treat you or call you any names, i would think that after delivering two babies he would trust that you know what your body is telling you i truly hope that it gets better for you pm me if you need some one to talk to ok. your post made me so sad but i hope that things change for you soon
you are totally right about the clomid i know realistically speaking it could take some time for me to get a bfp but the thing is that the dr is only letting me try two cycles and if nothing happens then i have to see a specialist something that i cannot afford we are both hoping that since at least my body responds to meds pretty well and fast that it will be the same with the clomid that is what am hoping for if not i might never be able to have kids something that i am not sure am ready to admit atm sorry for the rant

:wave: to all the other ladies on here

pixxie- i totally love the name that you choose its cute and i bet it will fit him perfectly

 

[pixxie1232001]

Lucy-Why are they only letting you try for 2 cycles??? That doesn't seem fair to me. It can take up to 3 cycles for the body to adjust to clomid in the first place. Most people don't conceive (from what I can tell) until they are 4-6 cycle of clomid. In many cases not till they get closer to that one year mark. I do not think that is fair he is only letting you try for two cycles. I pray that he changes his mind about that one. Most doctors do not even refer you to a specialist till about a year after other options. I am sorry but really irritates me for you. lol.
Thank you for being there, and right now he and I really are not on talking terms. We slept in seperate rooms last night, and he has not really said anything to me today, and I to him, mostly it's us just trying to get the other to watch the kids so we can take care of business. I don't blame him for being stressed right now, but it deff does not help me. I feel that he of all people should know that I know my body best and when things do not seem right, or when I believe I am in labor I would know, not my mom, not the midwife, no one else, but me knows my body best. I hope after a couple days we will both cool off and be civil towards each other, but as of right now it is like we are not even married, just two people who pass each other in the hall and kitchen.

 

[Lucy529]

Pixxie- she's only letting me even try because i pressured her to it she wanted me to wait an other month until my ra (rheumatoid arthritis) meds kicked in and i said no that i didn't want to wait anymore so she said she had no problem in letting me try but only two cycles they know that i have pcos and all my other problems so she thinks that it would be best to try and then if not a specialist but she also seemed very positive about it working for me since i tend to respond well to meds and quickly i had only been back on metformin for a month when i got my BFP last year so am hoping that it will happen again soon. FX
that sucks that your husband is being like that i mean come on you are about to make a father again he should be waiting on you hand and foot, you think that maybe he doesn't know how to apologize and would rather just not talk? i hope that he comes around soon though

 

[burtch]

thank u lucy, discussing about babies with ur hubby really helps and lightens the aura and feelings.. im also wondering y ur Dr only allows u 2 cycles of clomid? i had BFP on my 3rd cycle of clomid.. and pixxie is right, it can take up to 3 cycles for the body to adjust to clomid.. hope it will work on u faster dear, best luck for u hun..

thank u also pixxie, i do hope ill have that BFP too.. its true, nobody else knows our bodies best but us.. ur hubby may just also be stressed and maybe having those jitters of going to be a father again soon, he shud already know by now what to expect and what will happen before u give birth since its ur 3rd child.. hope u and ur DH will come around sooner, i know how hard it must be with ur condition now and with the situation with ur DH.. dont worry, ull patch up things soon, esp wth ur lo coming out soon..

afm, af still hasnt arrived..

 

[Lucy529]

burtch- no af am getting excited

thanks for the well wishes i too hope that it works soon i have to see her on nov 19 i hope to be on my tww by then but am going to discuss with her trying a higher dose if the first time doesn't work and maybe her allowing me to try 3 cycles so fx that something happens

pixxie- i hope that you are doing better and that your dh has come around and apologized and that labor has begun for you fx

girls i began this new diet (i talked to my dr. about before starting) and she and i think that it is going to jump start my weight loss i have been trying for the last couple of weeks to loose weight and it seems that i was gaining so am on this new quest i figure it could help with ttc and it's all natural lots of water involved so am hoping it helps
just realized that today a year ago exactly i found out that i was pregnant only to find out two days later that it was not viable

:wave: hi to all the other girls on here

 

[geminikah]

Hi all--

I have to admit I have been watching from afar during my recent journey. It has been a long 12 weeks. We found out we were pregnant back in August. We were very surprised as I had what I thought was my period and still had some latent bleeding. I had even taken HPT but were negative because "period" was 3 days late. I called MD and they did blood work and said pregnant but could be miscarrying..monitored the HCG..started to double and triple and I was started on progesterone. I was cautiously optomistic...then went for 9 week ultrasound..waiting for HCG to show clear picture..and no sac was found. I decided to the d&C and be through as I misscarried the year before. Well after complete received call from MD that no pregnancy tissue found and HCG over 5000. I was started on methotrexate shots but the ectopic at that point was not located on ultrasound. I tolerated the injections..had worse gastrointestional upset.. but accepted this as I knew I just needed to get through this..emotionally and physcially. 2 1/2 weeks ago I started having very heavy bleeds off and on and some cramping. Ultrasound located ectopic in tube but everything seemed to be okay..no bleeding internally etc. Then over the weekend I started having heavy bleeds..by the following Wedensday 10/10 I had pain from the bottom of my pelvis to the top of my chest. I made it to OBGYN with of course my 2 1/2 year old and was sent directly to ER. My left tube was completely ruptured with internal bleeding. Thankfully I went into shock at the hospital complete with rapid response and crash cart. The sad part my 2 1/2 year old and husband watched this as I was in the preop room. When tihs occured my HCG had decreased from 5000 to 700. The pregnancy was decreasing but apparently due to the bleeding from the pregnancy pulling away from the tubes on methotrexate there was too much blood so it all got stuck and did a sideways rupture. I was not lucky..the bleeding and damage was too severe. I lost my left tube and needed to be transfused. Now 2 weeks post surgery..the fog is lifting..and wow..now I realize how close of call it was. People tell me to focus on the two little boys..well of course i am so thankful for them and love them...but it does not fill the loss..I tell people it is like telling somebody who had a parent die..just be thankful for your one parent....how not comforting is that??? Anways..I find hope in many of your stories.and wanted to join the discussion. MD says we can try again in 8 more weeks (probably after the first cycle returns as it will be 12 weeks post methotrexate). All I can say is I did not have "clnical signs of rupture"..thank God I trusted my body that something was wrong...and had access to medical care....thank you too for sharing your stories....! Little lonely out here in Chicago Il.....Blessings to all---Kathy

 

[Lucy529]

geminikah - you have been throught so much you are right about knowing you body though and thank God for that it is upsetting that your little boy and dh had to see you go through that but am glad that you are better now and you know you came to the right place we are all here for you as you ttc again.
that is so true that your little boys are blessing but that does not make your loss any less the little angels that we loose are wanted as well like an other girl said on here they were part of us and always will be to you again and welcome to the group

 

[Ameronica]

Hi all--

I have to admit I have been watching from afar during my recent journey. It has been a long 12 weeks. We found out we were pregnant back in August. We were very surprised as I had what I thought was my period and still had some latent bleeding. I had even taken HPT but were negative because "period" was 3 days late. I called MD and they did blood work and said pregnant but could be miscarrying..monitored the HCG..started to double and triple and I was started on progesterone. I was cautiously optomistic...then went for 9 week ultrasound..waiting for HCG to show clear picture..and no sac was found. I decided to the d&C and be through as I misscarried the year before. Well after complete received call from MD that no pregnancy tissue found and HCG over 5000. I was started on methotrexate shots but the ectopic at that point was not located on ultrasound. I tolerated the injections..had worse gastrointestional upset.. but accepted this as I knew I just needed to get through this..emotionally and physcially. 2 1/2 weeks ago I started having very heavy bleeds off and on and some cramping. Ultrasound located ectopic in tube but everything seemed to be okay..no bleeding internally etc. Then over the weekend I started having heavy bleeds..by the following Wedensday 10/10 I had pain from the bottom of my pelvis to the top of my chest. I made it to OBGYN with of course my 2 1/2 year old and was sent directly to ER. My left tube was completely ruptured with internal bleeding. Thankfully I went into shock at the hospital complete with rapid response and crash cart. The sad part my 2 1/2 year old and husband watched this as I was in the preop room. When tihs occured my HCG had decreased from 5000 to 700. The pregnancy was decreasing but apparently due to the bleeding from the pregnancy pulling away from the tubes on methotrexate there was too much blood so it all got stuck and did a sideways rupture. I was not lucky..the bleeding and damage was too severe. I lost my left tube and needed to be transfused. Now 2 weeks post surgery..the fog is lifting..and wow..now I realize how close of call it was. People tell me to focus on the two little boys..well of course i am so thankful for them and love them...but it does not fill the loss..I tell people it is like telling somebody who had a parent die..just be thankful for your one parent....how not comforting is that??? Anways..I find hope in many of your stories.and wanted to join the discussion. MD says we can try again in 8 more weeks (probably after the first cycle returns as it will be 12 weeks post methotrexate). All I can say is I did not have "clnical signs of rupture"..thank God I trusted my body that something was wrong...and had access to medical care....thank you too for sharing your stories....! Little lonely out here in Chicago Il.....Blessings to all---Kathy

Thank you for sharing your story. We all support you here
Mine was a close call too. I was very young when mine happened and was still in high school. I was in class and got bad cramps and went home sick. I thought It was just a bug and nothing more (i did not know i was pregnant at the time) , it was a thursday. Then that sunday I got severe cramps and that's when I ended up going to the hospital. So i was bleeding for 4 days before I knew..the doctors found fresh and dried blood inside of me, and said i was lucky that i came in when i did. i don't remember much of the hospital visit, as i was in and out of consciousness from my blood loss the whole time, so it is pretty fuzzy. I lost my left tube as well. I hope you get your BFP soon.

DH and I have been NTNP for close to 5 years and just started fully TTC in september. Nothing for us yet, but we are not giving up hope yet

You are not alone in Chicago! I live in Southern Wisconsin, just an hr and a half from Chicago
DH and I actually just went to Shedd Aquarium and Soldier Field (he is a bears fan) a few weeks ago!

 

[geminikah]

Thank you for your reply..it has has been a hard 2 weeks. Ironically ruptured during pregnancy loss and support week when I was thinking of my other baby angel. Seems so cruel. My best wishes are with you! I lived in WI for 12 years..I went to Marquette. Thank you for connecting!!!!! I hope all good comes your way!

 

[burtch]

lucy- thats nice to know lucy u take more good care of urself for preparation for ur tcc, that will be a lot of help u know that u r confident with ur health and with ur body.. its still hurts to remember those painful time esp when the anniversary date comes, but just think of it that our little angels are now with GOD, and will help us pray and ask GOD for whatever our hearts desire..

geminikah-hello hun, welcome , u r n the right place, we feel what u feel.. i too had ruptured tube during my 1st pre, i wasnt taking notice of my delayed period since it has just been a month since we got married (june 8, 2009), but when my DH noticed i hadnt had my period we took HPT ( July 9) and had , since i was busy with work ive decided to see a Dr. a week after, but sadly, before i could see the dr. i have this severe pain on my abdomen on july 14th, i had no any bit of idea wats happening, and since i have a higher pain tolerance than any normal person, i was able to tolerate the pain for 4.5 hrs until our neighbors saw me so pale, they adviced DH to take me to hospital, even before my DH entered the hospital the Dr. who saw me said right away im having a ruptured ectopic.. i was scheduled for surgery right away.. and the Drs commented twas unbelievable that i was conscious the whole time even after the surgery, they didnt gave me anything to be unconscious during the surgery (only gen anaesthesia) so i was wide awake and conscious the whole time.. my right tube was removed, and the whole time DH was by my side before and after surgery, he was not allowed inside the OR.. so ur not entirely alone with ur journey hun, were here for you too as for all the other ladies here.. and u are lucky with ur 2 boys,..

pixxie - how r u now dear? hope everything is fine with u and hubby, and with ur LO coming..

afm, tested today but a .. af still hasnt arrived, maybe my body is just adjusting or undergoing changes this cycle, this is the first time im having a longer cycle, i usually only have 29-30 days cycle.. well, there still plenty of time to tcc again..

good luck to us all ladies, and to us all.. u r all in my prayers ladies..

 

[Lucy529]

oh burtch your story brought tears to my eyes but your right our little angeles are with God and looking down on us.

pixxie hope that you are doing ok and that your dh and you have worked things out and that your lo is almost here if he is not already

afm i began the diet today and since i had no idea how it was going to work with the diabetes i had a little panic attack because my sugar dropped way to low so tom am taking one of the meds off the list which i would have to stop if i got preg anyway so am going to stop that and then i did not have to have insulin at all today either which am happy one less needle in me lol
am checking my sugars every few hours and they seem to be ok now and don't worry girls if i see that it is making me too sick i will go off it but i do want to make an effort

 

[pixxie1232001]

Hey ladies, sorry for my absence but I needed to work on my marriage and thankfully I did.

geminikah-You really are in the right place and these women will stand by you through out your hole ttc and pregnancy. An ectopic is a very hard thing to deal with and while many people may tell us it was not a real life, it was to us. I did not even know I had an ectopic pregnancy until it was about to rupture and I did not even know I was pregnant until a week or two prior and that was about a week or two after my missed period. It was very hard to deal with and it always will be. I am very blessed to be expecting my baby rainbow boy any day.

lucy-I am sure you are going to do great on your diet. My sister was diabetic for a while and while the diet did suck (the whole family went on it with her) it was totally worth it and helped us all realize how to eat healthy. It is deff doable. Just don't go to any fast food resturant and ask for no salt. They will make you wait a freaking hour before you get your meal! lmao.

AFM no baby still. UGH!!!!! I convinced my hubby today to take me out to play some basketball at night (crazy I know but I love to shoot hoops). Got home and found like a huge glob of my mucus plug in my underwear (tmi I know sorry)! I took that as a great sign and decided to try to get my hubby to dtd with my after like 4 days of not...I am hoping the combo of the two will put me into labor tonight. I also had some spicy taco wagon burritos for dinner. So who knows right I am praying though. I am going crazy hearing "your still pregnant?" and "shouldn't he be here now?"! Very frustrating and annoying trust me. But for some reason I feel like this little guy is just going to take his sweet annoying time. I wanna just bang my head on my keyboard from frustration lmao. Oh well send a lot of positive thoughts my way for labor to start soon!!! PLEASE I WANT HIM OUT!!! lol.

 

[Ameronica]

Thank you for your reply..it has has been a hard 2 weeks. Ironically ruptured during pregnancy loss and support week when I was thinking of my other baby angel. Seems so cruel. My best wishes are with you! I lived in WI for 12 years..I went to Marquette. Thank you for connecting!!!!! I hope all good comes your way!

Your Welcome. Marquette is a great school, I considered it, but in the end it was a bit too pricy for me. I ended up going to UW-Whitewater. I am still there now, working on my double major in Criminal Justice and Social Work

I hope good things come your way as well!

 

[burtch]

thanks lucy, i forgot to mention, i had ruptured ectopic, underwent surgery and tube removed on july 14th, it was my birthday on the 16th, i spent my 26th bday in the hospital..

DH is a recipient of GOD's miracle, he had diabetes when he was 21, i dont know how severe it was since we havent met yet that time, but he said he was dependent on insulin, injects everyday with it, and the DR. said it was already a lifetime sickness.. and one time he lifted up everything to GOD and promised to give up all his wrong doings and had been an active devotee, aftr just a couple of months, he was diagnosed diabetes free.. thats what keeps DH and me going, strong and hopeful and always positive, that there is not an end to everything, there are MIRACLES..

pixxie - it wont be long, dont worry, anyway, never mind those people saying those things to u, theyre such insensitive individuals, they dont think how it will affect u emotionally, anyway, its ur baby, its ur body, dont let them get in to you.. ur n my prayers hun..

afm - i think afs coming now, im having a light brown discharge..

 

[pixxie1232001]

burtch-Ugh I hated AF and I know I am going to get her for the next 4 weeks after this little guy is born!!!! I hope the doesn't stay long.

AFM I feel really gross right now. My body keeps losing more and more mucus plug. Like it tries to rebuild itself after it is gone and well my cervix is dilated I guess to a point where it can't. So I am so freaking disgusted with how it looks in my underwear. Pregnancy is the grossest thing ever!!!

 

[Lucy529]

girls thanks so much for your words of encouragement I know that it takes a lot to get healthy but i need to do it not only for myself but if i want to be preggers it will give my baby a better chance so am working at it

burtch sucks that the witch got you fx for next month

pixxie glad that you and dh worked things out hope that your lo gets the message and sees that it is time to get out here lol

afm diet is going well so far i have been keeping an eye on my sugars and believe it or not they have been normal for the whole day in the morning they were a little low but that is bc of the metformin i am going to check it before bed and if is low am not going to take that one that means that is two pills gone YAY !!! and i have not had insulin for two days either so am happy for that i talked to my dh and we decided that if i can handle it for a month then am going to get it again next month

 

[skeet9924]

Hi Ladies!! I havent been on here in a while... I just wanted to pop in and see how every one is doing.

Pixxie- I hope labour starts for you soon!! Love that you went to play basketball!! Glad to hear that you and hubby have been working things out. Pregnancy and labour is stressful enough.

geminikah- so sorry to hear of your loss You have found a great group of ladies to support you!!!

Burtch- sorry you got a Hopefully your bfp comes soon. After my ectopic my af was all over the place.

Lucy- Good luck with your new diet. I'm glad you are monitoring your sugars closely. It is important to get healthy for you and for your future bean, however just becareful it doesnt sacrifice your health.

AFm- things are going well. I have my 20 week gender scan on Tuesday..I'm very excited and very nervous. I am starting to feel movements but they are sparadic, so when every they stop for a short time I have to run upstairs and grab my doppler to make sure the hb is still there. After all my losses I still have a hard time believing that things are going to be ok.

 

[Lucy529]

hi skeet good to see you, your half way there YAY !! so happy for you

i am being very careful with this diet so believe me if i begin to feel sick then am going to be eating. but am really wanting to try it for the 30 days and see how i feel it is suppose to detox your body so am keeping my fx that it does help

let us know how your scan goes

:wave: to everyone else hope that your are all doing good
Pixxie i hope everything is moving along for you