TCC After Ectopic buddy needed

[Lucy529]

Wow I missed so much, I need to make it a new year resolution to be more active in here, especially as we are now officially trying

AM how are you and little Matteo doing? I bet he's getting so big.

Traceyp so sorry for your loss Hun. I'm with AM and think this is a new pregnancy too, keeping everything crossed for you for good results keep us updated Hun.

VanillaSugar- so sorry for your losses. I hope you get the answer you want soon.

AFM- Ivan turned the big ONE last Sunday and although we didn't do a party we did get his pics done with a smash cake and we dedicated that day to him, he also got toys (of course LOL) and since he's finally into 12months clothes he got tons of big boy clothes. It was an emotional filled day we were in the city where he was born and every time we drove by the hospital I couldn't help it but tear up. This time last year we were still in the NICU.
On the baby making front sorry for tmi but Im don't sure if I. Ovulating or what is going on but for a few days now I've had tons of EWCM and am so tired all I want to do is sleep and my body feels all sore and the gas AF is not due until the 17-19 so am wondering if this is just preAF although I can't remember the last time I felt like this before she showed up most of the time I'm super bitchy LOL but I guess we'll wait and see what happens.

 

[traceyp]

I'm so excited to see Ivan turned one!! I've read all your struggles and it gives me hope. Thank you for the encouraging words but I don't think I am so lucky.
I had more blood drawn on Friday and my levels were only 211. So 186 on Wednesday and 211 on Friday. Either my ectopic was not all the way removed and I have to deal with that or I'm newly pregnant and its ending in another ectopic or miscarriage. I'm so devastated and can't stop crying. I'm just waiting for pain or bleeding to start. I quit dealing with the surgeon because he was never in and kept blowing me off. I've gone to my midwife who ordered the blood work within 15 minutes but unfortunately their office closed at 12 on Friday so I'm stuck with this until Monday. Unless pain or bleeding then I'm off to ER again. Bf is trying to be supportive but I feel betrayed by my own body, like its a time bomb waiting to go off

 

[Lucy529]

Tracey im so sorry Hun I wish there were words that I could say to take the pain away, but I'm here if you need to talk. I really hope they find out soon. Men try to be supportive but only we know how we're feeling. The only thing I can say is don't lose hope hun. Miracles happen everyday my son is proof of that.

 

[Amcolecchi]

Tracey, I am so sorry hunny!! I am glad you went to the midwife, that surgeon was not being helpful at all!! My friend is currently 7 months pregnant and her numbers were SO LOW in the beginning they told her she was miscarrying and she obviously didn't...so there is still hope! I know, it does feel like our body betrays us! But the silver lining is you know you can get pregnant and we are all here for support!

Lucy-Awww upload some pics of Ivan!!! I CAN NOT believe he is 1 already!!! Time is flying by!! FEELS forever when trying for a baby but once they are here time flyes!! Are you using opk's? I am going to start using them now. I also have a period tracker app that shows when you should ovulate and I have been putting any info in there and I noticed I had ovulation pains and some CM and then when I started it showed I did indeed ovulate that day. So I am hoping with opk's and watching my body, it should/hopefully work! KMFX for all of us ladies!!

 

[yazzy]

Tracey so sorry to hear what you are going through. I hope you can stay strong, miracles do and will happen!

Lucy...good luck with now actively ttc!

Am sorry to hear AF arrived this month

Afm I saw my doctor who said as of the end of this month we are fine to ttc again! I think ovulation should be around the end of the month so we are just seeing what happens

 

[traceyp]

Talked to the midwife this morning and she said she had to get records from the hospital and review everything but she was think the hcg was residual. After going over the records she now thinks it is a pregnancy but is not sure how viable it is. My level dropped slightly to 209 so she is recording it as basically unchanged. The have a standing order to check my levels every 48 hours now and we will see what the do. But she is "not hopeful" that this will be a viable pregnancy. She is thinking it will "dissolve" on its own but is keeping a close eye on my levels due to the previous ectopic and not really knowing for sure. Im under strict orders to go to the ER if there is any pain and I also have standing Monday appointments either in person or by phone until this resolves itself or numbers get high enough to do an ultrasound. She is hopeful it wont be another ectopic since it does not seem to be "growing".
I dont care how much you try to tell yourself not to get your hopes up, or how much I tried to convince myself that I wasnt even pregnant, Im devastated. I feel as heartbroken as I did the last time. I feel like giving up, I have three beautiful children already, Im 37, maybe Im just asking too much.
I know another long poor me post....
Good luck Lucy, Yazzy, and Am, Im wishing you all the sticky baby dust in the world. Thanking God everyday that there are people like you out here to help others thru this.

 

[Lucy529]

Oh Tracey I hope you don't have to wait to long to find out what's going on. I think that the not knowing is worse.

 

[Lucy529]

https://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/h451/lucy529/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-12/th_97D5A39E-518E-44C8-9629-F276AE38418B_zpss8x3dm3r.jpg
This was Ivan's cake

https://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/h451/lucy529/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-12/th_96DE394D-D32E-48E9-8953-BF1EA53183BB_zps5twoavja.jpg
And this was his smash cake

 

[Lucy529]

And now the birthday boy .....
https://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/h451/lucy529/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-12/th_D99D8100-1242-4151-A243-B68A4F4A5C02_zpshxps9dji.jpg
Me and my baby, this was taken the day of his bday as we waited to get his pics done
https://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/h451/lucy529/Mobile%20Uploads/th_1A95A224-152C-48BB-8965-86D008739E21_zpsj1ytiqit.jpg

 

[traceyp]

Awww how cute!!!!

 

[Amcolecchi]

OMG!!! SO CUTE!!!! The cake is super cute and you and Ivan are beautiful!!! Such a cute family!!!!

 

[Lucy529]

Yesterday we picked up Ivan's bday pics and our Xmas pics. OMG the look fantastic, I really love how they came out will def post some pics when I get a chance

 

[Amcolecchi]

Yes, for sure!!! Well I starting using OPK's! I just bought them and of course I forgot to do it this morning HAHAHA I am on cycle day 15 which is usually about the time you ovulate but since my cycles have been a little longer, I am sure ovulation will be later this week, but we did BD last night and I think we are going to every other night! Here's to hoping the Christmas "spirit" works in our favor haha!

 

[VanillaSugar]

I had my OBGYN appointment at our new base the day before Christmas. I got lucky and they had a cancellation, so I didn't have to wait till January. My new OBGYN seems nice. And very pregnant. I told her my story. How we had been trying for 1.5 years and then I had an ectopic, then a few months later a miscarriage. About my husbands lowish sperm count.

She said she doesn't want me on clomid, because she doesn't think it will help me in our situation. She believes that I'll be pregnant again within 6 months, on our own. Which is possible. I can believe that. I'm going to get some ovulation tests for my next cycle. If I don't get pregnant in 6 months, she said we will look at the alternatives. Like, artificial insemination. Which, btw, our insurance doesn't cover. She said it's not expensive, but I looked it up and it's like $400 - $700 USD per cycle. I guess that wouldn't seem expensive on a doctors salary. She finished up by saying that she understands how I feel, having had tried for 3 years before she conceived her first through IVF. She said after that though her body went into baby making over drive, and she's having her 4th now.

She also said she can't see a reason why I would have had an ectopic. I didn't think there had to be a reason, unless it was something like a blocked tube. She said she was going to look over my last OBGYN's notes, and all my test results, so she can better help me.

I went and saw a councilor too, about the losses and traumas I've had this year. I'll be seeing her frequently so she can help me learn how to break this cycle of fear I have over being pregnant.

 

[Amcolecchi]

Vanilla- Here is my story and hopefully it will help you! Jan. 2013, after several months of trying we went to a fertility specialist. We did ALL the test, including for me to see if my tubes were blocked, and they were not! We found out my husband has 2% sperm morphology and a low motility rate. We were told we had a 2% chance of conceiving naturally. They put me on clomid and we did 2 IUI's! Which our insurance covered nothing the final cost was around $900 because you have to pay for the meds, ultrasounds and the actual insemination process which we did back to back ones. The first time it failed, the second time we got prego! But it sadly ended in an ectopic and I lost my left tube. I bled on and off for about 8 weeks! After my first cycle we tried naturally and got pregnant!!! We now have a happy and healthy almost 9 month old baby boy!! So I am hoping my story can help you!! I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you!! This can be a trying time, I will say when I had my ectopic, and right before my cycle we did go on a vacation to get away and I did get pregnant right after that...So I do think getting away helped out on the stress we were having!! I also think going to a counselor is a wonderful idea. The whole process caused a lot of tension between my husband and I and we saw a counselor and she really helped us!! Good luck hun! Keep us posted!!

AFM-I didn't use OPK's this month but I am pretty sure I ov'ed this past weekend! So kmfx!

 

[Lucy529]

vanilla I hope that the new dr will be able to help you hun. I too think that going to a counselor will help tons. I like Am found something to help me get distracted from all the stress. My work and excercise became my life.
Let me share my story as briefly as possible at 18 I was diagnosed with PCOS at 19 I underwent a surgery to remove my right ovary and tube since there was a tumor there that kept growing . After i was told that I could get pregnant only to be told a few months later that I would never conceive
In 2009 after 4 years in an abusive relationship I moved to CO where I was diagnosed with diabetes and my BP was out of control I've had HBP since 14 so it just needed to get controlled. I was then told again that me conceiving would be impossible with out IVF or other expensive procedure so I gave up hope that it would ever happen since it had been over 10 years and I had never conceived. In 2011 I had gone to my dr bc of chest pains I had been having for a while she was also going to talk to me about Clomid since I had told her I really wanted a baby.
That morning I had begun to spot and I thought great I might be able to do clomid next month since I got AF she did a pregnancy test just to rule it out, it was BFP you can imagine my surprise and happiness but the spotting had me worried but she said it could be just implantation bleeding that the OB would be able to help me more.
After a few days of blood work and nothing on the US and the bleeding getting heavier the ob decided to do exploratory surgery but bc of my endometriosis she couldn't do a simple procedure they had to put me under and cut me she found that indeed I was pregnant but it was in my only tube I was told she cut a small incision got my angel and then took care of some of the endo.
After surgery she told me that if I ever did conceive that it would more than likely be ectopic since I had the one tube. I worked that whole year whith out as much as a day off and began to excercise a year and a half later and after a 30lb weigh loss I found out I was pregnant i am now the very proud mommy of a very active 1 year old

Sorry so long hun but I hope that hearing our stories will help you.

 

[Amcolecchi]

Lucy- I don't think I ever heard your story!! You overcame a lot of battles too!! I am so happy for you and your family now!!!

 

[Lucy529]

AM - yes it's has been a long journey to where I am now. I don't share much about my struggle bc in my family we didn't talk about any intimate things but I want Ivan to grow up knowing we can talk about anything. I also now have so many friends on FB that have struggled with fertility issues so it's getting easier to open up.

 

[VanillaSugar]

Thank you Amcolecchi, and Lucy. Your stories really did make me feel better, and I'm glad to hear that you two have beautiful babies to show for all your stuggles. I hope someday I can be in your shoes.

I'm totally annoyed and stressed right now though. I think my periods have become irregular without me noticing. Last cycle, I was a few days early. Now this cycle, I'm late! I've taken pregnancy tests (4) and all BFNs with FMU. Me and Hubby have had unprotected sex, but long after my suspected ovulation day. Yet still, AF is not here. I can chalk it up to stress, but if it is, being stressed about AF not showing up isn't helping. If this continues into next week, I should probably call my OBGYN's office, and figure out whats going on. I really hope it doesn't come down to that. I'm not even sure what they could or would do over it.

It could also be my body still recovering from my miscarriage in October. But that seems so long ago. Shouldn't I be over all the hormonal randomness by now?!

With that in mind, I think I'm going to start a new charting account, and leave my old one behind. There's two years of data in my current one, but with all the changes my body has gone though, I think it has gone haywire and isn't a good way for me to predict my cycles anymore.

 

[traceyp]

It does help to hear everyones story and to know there is happiness on the other side.
I had to return to the er with stomach pain (it was all over, lower and upper) They did a full work up and complete pelvic ultrasound, thinking I was pregnant again. My levels came back at 124 and this doc said I was not pregnant, just slowly falling levels. But.....I have lots of gall stones and he had me come in the next morning for another ultrasound and to admit me for surgery. The surgeon decided it was not an emergency so I was to return to his office at a later date (last week). Checked in with the midwife that said her and the original surgeon for my ectopic had talked and they were going to order an ultrasound (done in er) and methotrexate for left over tissue but would hold off on that since my levels started to drop on their own. Appointment with the surgeon last week confirmed gall stones and the need for my gall bladder to be removed and surgery scheduled for January 15th. Im pretty nervous about having surgery again so soon but Im sure everything will go well and they seem sure that this will take care of the on going stomach symptoms Ive had. I had a blood draw on Tuesday and my number was 70, so still dropping. Im still on a standing order for blood draws till it gets under 5 but I only have to go once a week now.
Oddly, I asked for a depo shot to prevent pregnancy until I have time to work thru all this and the new surgery. I figured that would give me three months with the shot and a few months after for my cycle to regulate and be ready to try again. The midwife wont give it to me while I still have hcg levels and then wants to do the tests to prove Im not pregnant after I reach less than 5. But the original surgeon gave me birth control pills at my 2 week post op appointment? I suck at taking pills and thought the shot a better choice. But since she is taking that route I am taking the route of everything being in gods hands. If I get pregnant right away, I will deal with it as it comes. Im not going to prevent it tho.
Sorry this is so long, I should up date more often but I dont feel like I get any down time between catastrophies anymore