hi ya,
My friend finally gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. So I've been solely in charged of her 2.5 year old. Surprisingly, she has been behaving really well without the parents around!
Anyway, I visited my friend and baby Stacie in the hospital today and it killed me. Of course I controlled myself really well but it just killed me. I was to have my own little one this early June and someone decided to take him away from us.
I'm not doing really well on my own but I am still strong enough to put on a front in front of my friends. Sad isn't it?
Is it cruel of me to keep thinking that I will loose the bean in me soon? I have almost 0 confidence of its survival, really. Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophecy? When you keep thinking something is going to happen, it will... but yet, I really don't dare or know how to be positive. It is as though I am waiting for something to happen; bleeding especially. I keep having the same image in my head that in my 1st scan, no heartbeat detected.
Perhaps I rather I loose this bean in this 1st trimester to natural causes rather than losing another in 2nd trimester after knowing this bean has survived the odds but MY BODY kills it. Stupid useless cervix and the bacteria in me!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
p/s: I feel your frustrations for not able to get the results you need, Tayla. Annoying people!!! Lisa, yay on holidays. That will definitely cheer you and family up.