Hey everyone, just want to thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers! It meant a lot reading them all! Thank you
xxx
Mrs J congratulations honey!! I'm so so pleased for you!! Another soy baby!! Maybe I'll jump on the soy band wagon too...
And moonbeam I'm so excited to see your bfp tomorrow!!!! Seeing all you lovely ladies get bfps and get through those long hard weeks of the first trimester and beyond fill me fulll of hope for the future!!,
Afm....well as you know we got the devastating news on Tuesday that baby stopped growing at 8weeks 3 days...I should have been 9 weeks 3 days, the day baby stopped growing was the day I had light light brown spotting start....it stayed like that until the weekend when it started to be tinged with red, so went to doc on Monday who got me an appt on tue morning for early preg clinic...I have to say they were so lovely and fantastic....
They did a scan and saw the baby had no heartbeat, and we were just devastated, felt like the room was spinning...they were lovely,and left hubby and I together for a few mins where we hugged and had a wee cry and said a prayer for baby.
The nurse came back to discuss what happens next...really i was too upset to make any decisions then and there...so they booked me an appt for the next morning...
Later that day I called them and told them I wanted to get a d&c, as I wanted this nightmare to be over so we can grieve properly...they still wanted me to come in the next morning to discuss in more detail....later that afternoon the cramping really started with heavy bleeding and clotting...I didn't sleep at all the whole night as i was in so much pain...thankfully I didn't see anything come out as I was terrified of seeing the sack like last time
...I think i was just too tired and and sorry if tmi but every time i went to toilet stuff was just gushing out of me....
and I couldn't bare to look...
Went to hops next morning and they scanned me and said I'd been Through the worst the night before and there wasn't too much left to pass, but they gave me some strong pain killers for the next few days....and advised nature was taking care of things, but I have to go back to hosp on Monday for repeat scan...
It's been devastating for hubby and I, truly never thought that once we saw the heartbeat that this would happen....but we have tried to accept that these things happen for a reason even though it is so painful and upsetting...
Hubby has been amazing through all of this.....I couldnt have got through this without him,,,,I think what's kept us going is thinking of the future and how one day we will have our forever baby,,,,hubby has been so positive about wanting to tic again as soon as we can and how he can't wait to start trying again and that everything will be ok....we have to believe that.....
Ive got the next 2 weeks off work..and hubby took this week off...we've just been enjoying eAch other....yesterday we had a BBQ with just the two of us in the back garden out in the lovely sunshine dancing to music and playing swing ball and laughing and having fun...been out for star bucks and lunch and shopping today,,,just trying to be positive and thankful for what we have and what we will have in the future....
Im thankful for the painkillers which have definitely enabled me to carry on somewhat normally throughout this...I just wish I'd had them on the awful tuesday night...
Still can't believe it's happened...
Lots of love and hugs to everyone
Rebecca
Xoxo
Feeling pretty good today, I hope its just from all the sleep I got this week and the nice bath I took last night. 
i dont know what to do again. been battling this infection for so long an nothing seems to work...sorry if it sounds gross...i think im goin back to the doctor this evening....i just finished the meds so i dont know of i should wait till monday to see if the medication will clear it up by then or should i go today before monday is to late....any suggestions is greatly appreciated,...
He said my HCG and progesterone levels look great and that I should be 6-7 weeks! I was very shocked by that (and even more shocked that he called me less than 19hrs after I had my blood taken!) That would mean either a) we might have twins cooking again with such high levels this early or b) my cycle was super duper short last month! Like 23 days or less! Most I could be is 5w, 1d as of yesterday when they drew my bloods.. Last period was 6/21. I wish I could have talked to him but I was in the car with 5 of my co-workers! BUT the good news is, I get to go in for an ultra sound on Tuesday morning!! 
