Ladies!
I've been waiting to share my story here, preferring to share it when I've successfully entered 2nd Trimester. But now that I have, I thought I should share my story now as I think back of how LTTC has been for me.
Getting pregnant didn't come easy for us. What I thought would happen at the drop of a hat actually took us about 1.5 years! Ok, I know many ladies on LTTC have been trying for longer, but I'm not comparing here. It did feel very long for me / us.
And we're both young. I'm 28 and hubby's 34. Both relatively healthy. Never had any major health issues, nor anything to indicate that we might have issues conceiving.
The past 1 year + has been nothing but trying.
In every aspect. In my spiritual life. In my physical body. In my mental and emotional health.
It has also been a season when I struggled with the hard questions with God.
"God, why is it taking so long?"
"Why do some other people fall preggy so easily and we don't?"
Why? Why? and more Whys?
Relocation to Germany has messed up my cycles. I don't want to blame Germany for everything, but the truth is I had way more regular cycles in Singapore than I ever did in Germany.
So at the beginning, I thought, "Well I just have to sort out my cycles and everything will be fine".
But you're in Germany. Not some other country.
The doctors send you for ALL sorts of tests! In Singapore, I would have just gone to the Chinese doctor and my cycles would be sorted out the "Chinese" way. Chinese herbs, acupuncture etc.
But here, I was sent for endless blood tests and was monitored to find out the cause of my irregular cycles.
And it turned out that I had PCOS - some hormonal imbalance that basically causes irregular cycles.
This is quite common. Victoria Beckham has it and went on to have 3 healthy children and is preggy with her 4th one. So does Jamie Oliver's wife, who also has 4 children now.
So I wasn't too worried.
But I was prescribed Metformin for my PCOS that gave me migraines, vomitting and all sorts of unpleasant side effects. It took me months before my body could adjust to this medication, at the hope of regulating my cycles.
Atlast, my cycles were still NOT regulated after taking this medication.
So, I had to go on to the next step. We went to a Fertility specialist.
And finally both of us were checked.
Truth be told, I always thought the "problem" lied with me. But hubby had issues too! Low sperm count & bacterial infection.
So we had to sort out his issues! Which took another couple of months! But thank God that his issues could be sorted out!
All this time of waiting, the only thing that kept me sane really was babyandbump.com which I came across by accident when I was surfing the web.
I didn't know anybody in real life who struggled with the same issue. And somehow among Christians, infertility feels like a taboo topic that nobody talks about! Its like you're not supposed to have infertility if you believe in an Almighty God who's able to heal and bless.
We certainly believed in God. And we believed in His promises that He would bless us with biological children. We were in Bible school in 2006 where missionaries prophecized over us that we would have our own biological and spiritual children. That was 5 years ago when the idea of child-bearing was the last thing on our mind!
But yeah, it still took a while. So I knew that I had to garner support. Spiritual support and lots of prayers.
We confided in family and very close friends back in Singapore and I made many new friends on here who were really like sisters-in-war with me. I got to know other Christian friends (online) who were open to talk about this issue and was connected to other couples (from Singapore) who've "been there, done that".
THANK GOD truly for these gems. If not this journey would have been the lonelinest and toughest one, I would ever had to go through. As I said, I didn't know anybody in my own circle who struggled with issues like we did. And even if they did, nobody talked about it.
So why am I writing about this?
I want to shed light on this topic "infertility" that is so hardly spoken of. In public. Especially among Christians. I've had my fair share of sharing what's on my heart, only to get "rebutted" back and feeling that "I lacked faith" or was somehow lacking something that's why God wasn't blessing us yet. I'm sure most people meant it well, but there are some things you just don't say to people who are in the midst of the crap!
Or sometimes, I would share about my struggle with infertility with other couples who are also TTCing, but they would never share their story with me. So it felt like we were the only ones struggling with this issue.
So I kinna gave up talking about this issue with people I knew, but started talking about it with people I don't know! And I found so much more acceptance and love and encouragement in the meantime.
I'm so thankful that God has heard our prayers and opened my womb. And I would safely say that this baby was conceived out of lots of prayers by people who love us and saw our desire to have our own kids.
And yes, I'm willing to be here if anybody wants to talk about it. Infertility is not a sin. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. People talk about having a headache / fever / cold all the time. But somehow infertility is avoided like a pest, like a cancer.
God is God in the middle of everything. Everything. During this 1yr +, I read that so many women of the Bible, (especially the important women somehow) all struggled with infertility. Hannah. Sarah. Rebecca. And they poured their hearts out to God. And their stories are there for the entire world to read in the Bible.
So yeah, I'm a modern day Hannah. Or Sarah. Or Rebecca. A woman who's gone through the fiery flames of testing in the furnace of infertility and emerged victorious. And I pray that God will open doors for us to help our couples who have to undergo waiting for their little ones too.
For those of you who read until here, BLESS YOU!
I've always read success stories when I was still TTCing to keep me going and kept telling myself that one day I WILL write my story here too. I believe with all my heart that you WILL too and in the meantime, May you continue to experience God's peace and love during this season of your life.
hehe Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words!
!!! Wanna hear the details!!!! 
