Things I cannot say out loud....

[caity88]

To SIL:-

Yes, your brother and I have dared to have a baby, and take the attention off you. GET OVER IT!

Yes, she does have spina bifda, and yes it is serious. Yes, I did take folic acid, and if you accuse me of not doing once more, I will lump you. Yes, she will have to have at least one operation. No, you don't have it yourself, your back hurts because you're too fat and lazy to get off your arse.

No, I won't fleece the state for "every penny I can get". You may be happy to live like that, but I'm not.

Speaking of lazy, how dare you call ME lazy because I wasn't doing the ironing. According to you, it only takes 3 days to recover from a section. You have a computer, google it!

No, you can't nurse the baby all day when you visit. She's not a baby bird, and does not need constant nursing. And no, I won't wake her up when you visit. If you don't like it, you know where the door is. Shut it on your way out.

Stop dragging your elderly parents into your childish games. You are 45, start acting like it.

Believe it or not, your brother and I don't sit around all day looking for ways to annoy you. In fact, you may not believe this, but we are trying to live our lives, with a newborn with special needs - you don't even feature on the radar - GET OVER IT!

Finally, just f*** off, it's make my life a lot easier.

To MIL/FIL

Stop pandering to her - if you don't want to pay her bills, don't pay them. She has 2 computers, an i-Kindle, i-phone, sat nav and new car. If she can't pay the phone bill, tell her to sell one of them.

Please realise that it is not always our fault. You hurt your son more than you realise every time you do this.

I don't care how depressed she tells you she is, nothing gives her the right treat people the way she does.

Ooooh, that needed to come out!

I feel for you. I'm in a similar situation (although my children are not special needs, that requires much more strength than I know. ).

SIL:
You're 22. Act like it. You complain because you still live with your parents but you won't get a job that pays more than commission in a small town. Everytime we go out to eat, we don't have to go to your favorite restaurant. Yes your brother and I had another kid and you have failed to even have a 2nd date with anyone in a looonng time. Your mother will love your future children just as much so shut it. Also, when you're in public don't act like my children are yours. If someone tells you they're cute don't act like you carried them for 9 months and have a scar on your belly to prove it. Thats me, not you. Don't come downstairs and wake up the kids when you go to work just so you can tell them goodbye. Don't complain about driving home in the heat when I work in a factory that gets up to 115 degrees fahrenheit. For 8 hours. Grow up.

That feels good to vent.

 

[Tiffa130]

(my OH is usually an amazing father)

OH - our DD just had her shots & is in pain & crying so when I ask you to hold her a minute so I can grab the breastfeeding pillow that doesn't mean lie her on the bed & hold her tummy it means pick her up.
In the middle of the night when she's only being consoled being held against a chest & I ask you to hold her against your chest for a second so I can get the tylenol, I mean hold her against your chest not hold her upright & let her cry.
Why do I have to keep repeating myself today? Apparently after a week off you've become a little rusty.

 

[Scarlett316]

Fil-I am perfectly capable of cooking a pan of vegetables without supervision. Now fuck off!

 

[MrsNovBaby]

My parents - because you decided to lend my brother a lot of money, do not complain to me that he has not paid any back. He does not have a job and CBA to get one, so no he will not be paying it back, it is not my fault. Also, you just took him on holiday - DUH!

Me and LO won't be coming to see you - we both need passports and can't afford them just now.

When DH is away in Afghanistan I look after LO 24/7, so yes he does prefer me to anyone else, I am what he is used to. Don't complain about DH, he has seen more in his life than you can imagine, he is a good man, we live within our means, we don't owe you anything.

MIL

When you come to visit, if you say you are leaving Sunday, leave Sunday. Monday is not good.

When you have finished eating at least put the dishes by the dishwasher.

You know how a kettle works - use it.

Don't tell me that DH will be disappointed when he get home because his plants have died - me and LO have thrived, that is all that matters. On a similar note, I know the lawn needs mowing, I can't do it when it rains - which is everyday atm and I need to look after LO.

arggggghhhhhh!

 

[Dizzymum]

To those idiots I've met in the supermarket :

My baby is NOT a 'lovely little boy!!!', she's a girl!!!!!!! The pink dress is a bit of a clue...............c'mon, seriously!

My DH said even he would know if a baby was in pink it was a girl.......blue it's a boy, and if in white he sticks with it

 

[mightyspu]

To those idiots I've met in the supermarket :

My baby is NOT a 'lovely little boy!!!', she's a girl!!!!!!! The pink dress is a bit of a clue...............c'mon, seriously!

My DH said even he would know if a baby was in pink it was a girl.......blue it's a boy, and if in white he sticks with it

Sometimes you can't be sure, so I always say 'how gorgeous, how old??' and the proud parents often say "She's x months..." and we go from there......

your daughter looks lovely in your profile pic

 

[xvmomovx]

To those idiots I've met in the supermarket :

My baby is NOT a 'lovely little boy!!!', she's a girl!!!!!!! The pink dress is a bit of a clue...............c'mon, seriously!

My DH said even he would know if a baby was in pink it was a girl.......blue it's a boy, and if in white he sticks with it

LOL that's funny because people always say "oh my she's so pretty... wait is it a girl or...." nope he's a boy. I swear they look at his face and think he's a girl and then look at his clothes. Although we do neutral sometimes he is always dressed like a boy for all intesive purposes. I swear no one has ever once thought he was a boy maybe I should take off his diaper and let him pee in their face and there won't be any denying it then

 

[missVN]

To my oh-
If you don't start tidying up after yourself then you're going to be living in the shed with the spiders
I spent most of yesterday and last night cleaning the flat from top to bottom only to wake up this morning to clothes on the bedroom floor, clothes on the bathroom floor, toothpaste splashed all over the sink, an empty toilet roll, cornflakes all over the kitchen worktop, drips from your tea bag halfway across through kitchen and your pots dumped in the sink
Seriously! It wouldn't have taken 5 mind to tidy up as you went along

To my doctors-
Please please please let me have an appointment, being up all night with heartburn is no fun at all If you can only book appts on the day why are there never any free when I ring first thing in the morning

It's going to be one of those days, I can just tell

 

[Lianne1986]

To my oh-
If you don't start tidying up after yourself then you're going to be living in the shed with the spiders
I spent most of yesterday and last night cleaning the flat from top to bottom only to wake up this morning to clothes on the bedroom floor, clothes on the bathroom floor, toothpaste splashed all over the sink, an empty toilet roll, cornflakes all over the kitchen worktop, drips from your tea bag halfway across through kitchen and your pots dumped in the sink
Seriously! It wouldn't have taken 5 mind to tidy up as you went along

To my doctors-
Please please please let me have an appointment, being up all night with heartburn is no fun at all If you can only book appts on the day why are there never any free when I ring first thing in the morning

It's going to be one of those days, I can just tell

i hope u manage to get an appointment or get sumthing over the counter for heartburn

 

[going_crazy]

To my oh-
If you don't start tidying up after yourself then you're going to be living in the shed with the spiders
I spent most of yesterday and last night cleaning the flat from top to bottom only to wake up this morning to clothes on the bedroom floor, clothes on the bathroom floor, toothpaste splashed all over the sink, an empty toilet roll, cornflakes all over the kitchen worktop, drips from your tea bag halfway across through kitchen and your pots dumped in the sink
Seriously! It wouldn't have taken 5 mind to tidy up as you went along

To my doctors-
Please please please let me have an appointment, being up all night with heartburn is no fun at all If you can only book appts on the day why are there never any free when I ring first thing in the morning

It's going to be one of those days, I can just tell

can totally sympathise with you.... My OH seems to be the same! Really hope you get a docs appointment too xxxx

 

[BabyBoo36]

To OH,

I love you, and so does Little Pudding, but for the love of god, STOP MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!!!! I know we want a baby that sleeps through anything, but constantly shouting me from the next room, and then crashing through like a bull in a china shop when I refuse to shout back does not help. She does not need to sleep through Top Gear at full whack. The next time you wake her when it's taken me 3 hours to get her to nod off, YOU will be getting her back to sleep - after removing the TV from your ass.................

Also, she is not a carrier bag - you cannot pick her up and take her everywhere, all day. We spent 4 hours in Manchester Children's Hospital yesterday and I had to feed her in Tesco's car park on the way home. We did not appreciate the fact that you thought we could go somewhere else on the way - we needed our beds!!

 

[Lettuce]

DH, I am your wife, not your maid. I WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT EVER EVER pick your clothes up off the floor. If they are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed. It's a simple rule, not difficult, so DO NOT complain that you don't have anything clean to wear- I can see the pile of dirty washing in the corner of the bedroom. Pick it up and put it in the basket and it will miraculously reappear on your dresser washed and folded.


Stupid git. x

 

[Scarlett316]

DH, I am your wife, not your maid. I WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT EVER EVER pick your clothes up off the floor. If they are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed. It's a simple rule, not difficult, so DO NOT complain that you don't have anything clean to wear- I can see the pile of dirty washing in the corner of the bedroom. Pick it up and put it in the basket and it will miraculously reappear on your dresser washed and folded.


Stupid git. x

Oh god have you got one that does this as well?

I could bloody kill my husband for this at times!!!!

 

[MrsPoodle]

No I'm not going to let her cry. End of, stop saying it.

 

[bonjo808]

DH, I am your wife, not your maid. I WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT EVER EVER pick your clothes up off the floor. If they are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed. It's a simple rule, not difficult, so DO NOT complain that you don't have anything clean to wear- I can see the pile of dirty washing in the corner of the bedroom. Pick it up and put it in the basket and it will miraculously reappear on your dresser washed and folded.


Stupid git. x

Oh god have you got one that does this as well?

I could bloody kill my husband for this at times!!!!

Seriously...why don't men get it. I have the same issue and the pile of clothes just gets bigger

 

[Lettuce]

DH, I am your wife, not your maid. I WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT EVER EVER pick your clothes up off the floor. If they are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed. It's a simple rule, not difficult, so DO NOT complain that you don't have anything clean to wear- I can see the pile of dirty washing in the corner of the bedroom. Pick it up and put it in the basket and it will miraculously reappear on your dresser washed and folded.


Stupid git. x

Oh god have you got one that does this as well?

I could bloody kill my husband for this at times!!!!

Indeed I do, it just annoys me so much, it's not like he ever does the washing! So surely it's not too much to ask to just put it in the basket?!
Then does he finally stick it in the basket and you have a huge load to catch up on?! I feel your pain. I shall be teaching Jenny the same rule... Bet she catches on quicker than her dad.

the trials.... X

 

[minkymoo]

DH, I am your wife, not your maid. I WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT EVER EVER pick your clothes up off the floor. If they are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed. It's a simple rule, not difficult, so DO NOT complain that you don't have anything clean to wear- I can see the pile of dirty washing in the corner of the bedroom. Pick it up and put it in the basket and it will miraculously reappear on your dresser washed and folded.


Stupid git. x

Oh god have you got one that does this as well?

I could bloody kill my husband for this at times!!!!

Seriously...why don't men get it. I have the same issue and the pile of clothes just gets bigger

this!

and don't even get me started on CRUMBS.....

 

[mightyspu]

DH, I am your wife, not your maid. I WILL ABSOLUTLY NOT EVER EVER pick your clothes up off the floor. If they are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed. It's a simple rule, not difficult, so DO NOT complain that you don't have anything clean to wear- I can see the pile of dirty washing in the corner of the bedroom. Pick it up and put it in the basket and it will miraculously reappear on your dresser washed and folded.


Stupid git. x

Oh god have you got one that does this as well?

I could bloody kill my husband for this at times!!!!

Indeed I do, it just annoys me so much, it's not like he ever does the washing! So surely it's not too much to ask to just put it in the basket?!
Then does he finally stick it in the basket and you have a huge load to catch up on?! I feel your pain. I shall be teaching Jenny the same rule... Bet she catches on quicker than her dad.

the trials.... X

New house rule.... Anything left on the floor goes out the window. DH used to deposit random pairs of shoes in irritating places until I told him that they would be chucked. He didn't think I would stick with my plan and has since stopped when he found his work boots in a flowerbed!

 

[Lettuce]

Ohhhh, I like your plan mightyspu... I may have to up the stakes, clearly the threat of no clean clothes is not enough...

 

[cowboys angel]

Ohhhh, I like your plan mightyspu... I may have to up the stakes, clearly the threat of no clean clothes is not enough...

good plan