Things I cannot say out loud....

[keeks1987]

Hugs MrsPop

 

[Lettuce]

Ah mrs pop, I understand, the birth thing. I cry at others stories, I know I should be grateful and I am, but dear, it hurts so bad sometimes.

As for your mum, I'm just so sorry. She'll have been glad to have been there, no matter how bad! Bet she's so proud of you for coming through it! You should be proud! You did good. xxx

 

[Cupkake.Luver]

To my A/C unit:

Either your making me freeze and my lips turn blue...or you don't work at all...can we compromise a little here?!

 

[someoldgirl]

Neighbour - stop making out there is something wrong with my LO as he cries. All babies cry. Even yours i'm sure it's just been 20 years since so you've forgotten. Also don't tell my other neighbours I have a 'nervous baby who gets shaky and cries when he sees people' he was smiley and cheerful albeit hungry before you can over and started prodding him.

 

[shambaby]

^^ haha, that's brilliant D!

Dear my labour/birth/postnatal care - I know it's only been 18 days but it's going to take me a long time to get over you. I thought I was doing so well and I am, just a moment of weakness tonight Reading a great friend's amazing birth story and wishing with all my heart I could have had some of her experience than the one I had. Especially as the next time I give birth (if I ever get the courage up to have another child) my mum will very likely be dead and she went through that hell with me. I wanted it to be wonderful for her.

I hate you though, I don't think many people understand how awful it was. People say I should just get over it and be happy we made it through safely and I am. But the experience really affected how I've bonded with my daughter. And I love her, God I love her. But the experience of her birth and the crazy first few weeks of getting used a newborn sometimes makes me wonder why I got pregnant in the first place and I worry so much how we're going to cope; when I go back to work, when my mum dies.

I hate you, thinking about you has made me cry when I had been doing so well and not cried today.

People say it ges easier, boy do I hope so.

i just read your birth story (i don't have any cookies, so i am having a penguin instead!) and i just wanted to say it does get easier, i promise. my experience wasn't as bad as yours, but there are similarities, and it took me quite a while to come to terms with the fact that things hadn't gone the way they were supposed to. what helped me was to keep thinking about when we decided to ttc, and remind myself that what we wanted then was a baby, not a birth - we have our perfect little man, and he is healthy and an absolute joy - everything we hoped for - so the way he got here no longer really matters. i think it also helped when he started to do more, and sort of take my mind off it. as for the breastfeeding, i still have my moments with that, but he is absolutely thriving. it is getting easier now that he is weaning - what kind of milk he has been drinking, and how he has been getting it, has somehow become much less important. i think that getting over a 'bad' birth experience is kind of like a grieving process - you have all these ideas of how it is going to be and then it is nothing like that. you have to grieve for the experience you were expecting before you can feel proud of the experience you actually had. and you should feel proud - you went through a lot for your lo. i hope your debriefing helps x

sorry everyone - i know that's a bit 'off topic'. i'll see if i can think of something ranty to say.

actually, sorry, i've had a pretty good week really and am not feeling the need to rant right now.

 

[MissFox]

Mom I'm pretty sure Rosie's "pointy lips" didn't come from you.
DH I'm happy you aren't here tonight. We really need this time apart. I don't think I want it to last forever but a couple weeks... until we start counseling at least. I do still love you but please act more like a sahd as your contribution to the house

 

[MissFox]

Also Mrs pop it does get Better. I still feel bad about mine sometimes. Big hugs

 

[Odd Socks]

^^ haha, that's brilliant D!

Dear my labour/birth/postnatal care - I know it's only been 18 days but it's going to take me a long time to get over you. I thought I was doing so well and I am, just a moment of weakness tonight Reading a great friend's amazing birth story and wishing with all my heart I could have had some of her experience than the one I had. Especially as the next time I give birth (if I ever get the courage up to have another child) my mum will very likely be dead and she went through that hell with me. I wanted it to be wonderful for her.

I hate you though, I don't think many people understand how awful it was. People say I should just get over it and be happy we made it through safely and I am. But the experience really affected how I've bonded with my daughter. And I love her, God I love her. But the experience of her birth and the crazy first few weeks of getting used a newborn sometimes makes me wonder why I got pregnant in the first place and I worry so much how we're going to cope; when I go back to work, when my mum dies.

I hate you, thinking about you has made me cry when I had been doing so well and not cried today.

People say it ges easier, boy do I hope so.

*hugs*

while i know my labour was fine, i can so, so understand the newborn stuff. i'm still haunted by how awful it was with bella & the overwhelming feelings oh & i had that we weren't cut out to be parents.

on the baby side of things, it does get easier, i promise while i'm absolutely dreading #2 being a newborn & wish i could give birth to a 6 month old, i'm really looking forward to when he / she is 6 months onwards, when things became fun.

xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

DH: as I shouted last night I really hate you right now. I'm still angry and I probably won't speak to you today. Yes I'm the one that feeds him but that does not make you exempt from everything else especially at night! And when I hand him to you because I'm breaking down and need a break don't immediately bring him back!!!! I deserve time to myself too!!!!!!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Oh another thing and it's been said before: I will not just let him cry for longer than five minutes! Also don't tell me to put him down! He's fed on demand. Plus you just met me cheeky cow! Don't tell me how to parent!

 

[lindseymw]

Dear DH,

If I'm in the middle of doing dinner, washing up & putting the washing machine on & LO wakes up for a feed, please do not ever say, after I've turned tea off, turned the tap off etc & come into the room to change him, "I was going to do that" Really? When?

Oh & Darling, I'm breastfeeding, have done for the past 11 weeks so when we are out & LO wants feeding, don't say to me "Bet you haven't put a bottle in his bag" Of course I haven't put a F**king bottle in his bag, I dont need to bring bottles, I never have brought bottles. Why have you just noticed this?

 

[Lettuce]

You'd think he'd notice your child attached to you boob most of the day.... Bizzare...

 

[jollymum]

To my OH:

If you're going to use all LOs nappy cream on yourself please replace the tub. What the hell are you using it for anyway? Last time I checked you weren't wearing nappies....

Can you please stop putting your dirty pants on the table?! Its DISGUSTING!!!!!

To the GP and HV:

I am NOT overfeeding my baby, morons! I breastfeed on demand and will not wait until he is crying! You want me to make him go 3 hours between feeds? Would you be happy to wait 3 hours for a drink in this heat? No, I didnt think so.

 

[MrsVenn]

Dear Dad: You were a shit father to me and never there, you know NOTHING about how to raise a child so please stop telling me I'm doing every thing wrong and my child is at risk of coming to harm because I don't stand 10cm behind her at all times. Oh and another thing, I will NEVER leave her with you, you don't deserve time with her and I will never trust you to care for her. And another thing... this experience hasn't made us 'closer' so stop trying to constantly meet up, call, chat etc. 27 years too late mate!

Dear Best Friend: You don't have children and just because you're a teacher does not make you an expert on how I should raise my child...she doesn't need her bum changed every minute (so stop saying 'don't you think you should change her' every 5 mins) nor does she watch 'too much TV', it's never bloody on!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

You'd think he'd notice your child attached to you boob most of the day.... Bizzare...

To my OH:

If you're going to use all LOs nappy cream on yourself please replace the tub. What the hell are you using it for anyway? Last time I checked you weren't wearing nappies....

Can you please stop putting your dirty pants on the table?! Its DISGUSTING!!!!!

To the GP and HV:

I am NOT overfeeding my baby, morons! I breastfeed on demand and will not wait until he is crying! You want me to make him go 3 hours between feeds? Would you be happy to wait 3 hours for a drink in this heat? No, I didnt think so.

This does my head in!!!!! If my LO is screaming his head off and just had a feed in the last hour and has a clean nappy and been winded and cuddled, I'm not going to keep waiting another hour to feed him! Bollocks!

 

[Kalah]

To OH: When I'm laying in a hospital bed in A&e crying my eyes out begging you to comfort me and at least hold my hand don't then say you don't want to because you don't think I'm actually in pain and you think I'm pretending. Like I wanted to ride in an ambulance to a&e and sit there for 3 hours. I spent an hour sat alone in the hall scared and sad and in pain why wouldn't you just hold my hand once you got there.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

To OH: When I'm laying in a hospital bed in A&e crying my eyes out begging you to comfort me and at least hold my hand don't then say you don't want to because you don't think I'm actually in pain and you think I'm pretending. Like I wanted to ride in an ambulance to a&e and sit there for 3 hours. I spent an hour sat alone in the hall scared and sad and in pain why wouldn't you just hold my hand once you got there.

I hope you're ok.

 

[Emmy1987]

To OH: When I'm laying in a hospital bed in A&e crying my eyes out begging you to comfort me and at least hold my hand don't then say you don't want to because you don't think I'm actually in pain and you think I'm pretending. Like I wanted to ride in an ambulance to a&e and sit there for 3 hours. I spent an hour sat alone in the hall scared and sad and in pain why wouldn't you just hold my hand once you got there.

I hope you're ok.

Me too

Your OH sounds like he needs a slap tbh...

 

[divadexie]

Dear HV. I HATE YOU you know NOTHING about premie babies infact I question your knowledge about babies full stop. You are a moron. Don't you DARE accuse me of lying about my babies milestones and don't you DARE put a downer on her acheivements.
I pretended not to be in today because I hate you. I want the other HV take a hint! When I call and ask for the other one, don't assume I am looking for you!

Mum- well done, you managed both kids for half a day, I bet you are so proud of yourself! At least you remembered I have TWO kids but I did have to ask you to have them in advance. MIL takes BOTH kids OVER NIGHT stop being so damn selfish you asked me what you could do to help and I told you I could do with a break now and then.

OH stop being so goddamn lazy and selfish! I am NOT depressed I am worn down. I am sick of having to do everything, and when I ask you to do something it means now, not ''after this race'' Maybe if you helped me more I would not just want to go to sleep when we go to bed.

 

[Cupkake.Luver]

Dear Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara:

I bought you thinking you would make me happy. You're a disapointment.