Things I cannot say out loud....

[MummyinJune]

Lol

Yes i no he needs winded now - wait until i get his nappy on!
Yes i no he likes this position best but he changes his mind to suit his mood!
No i will not leave him - yes i no he is safe with u but thats not the point
I dont really care that theres a few things lieing in the mid of the floor lo is sleeping im going to relax with a cup of tea!
I will go for walks when we r both ready and lo's just been fed - i work around him now
He doesnt need burped after every ounce anymore
Im trying to relactate because I want to
can you please hand my lo back - or 2 another visiter you have been holding him 4 about an hour and now hes fallen asleep!
can u wait a minute so i can finnish what we r doing THEN i will let u have a hold
Hes sleeping LEAVE HIM ALONE!

 

[Neko]

To my OH:

If you're going to use all LOs nappy cream on yourself please replace the tub. What the hell are you using it for anyway? Last time I checked you weren't wearing nappies....

Can you please stop putting your dirty pants on the table?! Its DISGUSTING!!!!!

My mother asked to borrow Avery's tube of Bordeax butt paste for my brother. I chose not to ask any questions.

 

[cowboys angel]

We use it for my SD occasionally when her excema acts up if we can't find her medicine...or when she had an infection in her bits.

 

[k4th]

Dear Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara:

I bought you thinking you would make me happy. You're a disapointment.

 

[k4th]

Dear MIL

Yes, you did piss me off when we visited when LO was 6 wks old. I had only just stopped bf & was uset about losing that bond when you carried LO away whilst she was crying & wouldn't let me settle her. It still really annoys me!

& stop buying crap for LO. We appreciate the gestue but we don't need bits of sh*t you found in your local tat store which are not suitable for babies. Do not give them to LO. I always throw them away!!!!!! & just because it was "ok in your day" does NOT MEAN I WANT TO DO IT SO STOP BLOODY SAYING IT!

& please, please stop with the sexist comments that i don't cook enough or pull my weight or look after your baby boy properly. Your son is a dad & is perfectly capable of hunting and gathering at the local tesco all by himself! Or... if you can't stop at least come out & say them directly so i can defend myself instead of making snide remarks & then laughing about them! Ha bloody ha... you're so damn funny.

 

[msmissa]

To my OH:

I know you're going through a lot right now, but would it kill you to ask how MY day was? I always ask about yours and listen to you complain about how much it sucked. It would just be nice of you to show that it matters to you how we're doing.

 

[charleybootS]

To the inlaws (there's more than one moan lol) No, little lady doesn't need chocolate, ice cream, bits of cake, she is 8 months old - stop feeding it to her when i'm not around! and then give me a "whatever's wrong with her" look when I tell you off!

In our house we don't shout, so when you lot are all shouting your mouths off for no reason, I wonder why you make her cry? how about shutting up?

Do not make me out to be a snob just because I don't want to live in the middle of the city on a crappy estate surrounded by idiots, we moved to get away from that, it was a Joint decision, how about asking your son what he thinks rather than going on like we've moved to another country, we're 10 minutes down the road! We've worked hard to make a better life for us and her, and you never came and saw us anyway!

Best Friend: I love you dearly but she is Mine, so when your hyperactive, running riot 8 year old wants to hold her/feed her/pretend she's a damn doll, how about asking me first, rather than just passing her over and making me look like an overprotective mother when I get her back and tell him to leave her alone!

Oooooh I feel better

 

[Lettuce]

Kalah, I hope you're ok!

Cupcake- that mascara is a huge disappointment! I agree!

Dad's homemade chocolate brownie: please stop calling on me from the kitchen! I have already eaten 2 bits of you, you gooey chocolately goodness, with chunks of chocolate and pecans, WITH ice cream....



Ok, just one more bit then... xx

 

[Kalah]

Dear Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara:

I bought you thinking you would make me happy. You're a disapointment.

Is that the one in the gold tube? I've used that for a year now I love it! Although my natural lashes are long anyway but all the tips are sun bleached but that stuff makes them nice and dark and even a little longer without the clumps, it's great =)

 

[Kalah]

& please, please stop with the sexist comments that i don't cook enough or pull my weight or look after your baby boy properly. Your son is a dad & is perfectly capable of hunting and gathering at the local tesco all by himself! Or... if you can't stop at least come out & say them directly so i can defend myself instead of making snide remarks & then laughing about them! Ha bloody ha... you're so damn funny.

"hunting and gather at tesco" I love it!

 

[Cupkake.Luver]

Dear Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara:

I bought you thinking you would make me happy. You're a disapointment.

Is that the one in the gold tube? I've used that for a year now I love it! Although my natural lashes are long anyway but all the tips are sun bleached but that stuff makes them nice and dark and even a little longer without the clumps, it's great =)

Yea thats the one. It doesn't work for me. I'm a huge mascara whore. I have every single one that's ever came out since like 2005. lmao. My favorite includes Rimmel London's Lash Accelerator Mascara! Love that thing. Also, sexy curves from Rimmel London is nice too.

I just can't believe Loreal let me down!

 

[Kalah]

Dear Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara:

I bought you thinking you would make me happy. You're a disapointment.

Is that the one in the gold tube? I've used that for a year now I love it! Although my natural lashes are long anyway but all the tips are sun bleached but that stuff makes them nice and dark and even a little longer without the clumps, it's great =)

Yea thats the one. It doesn't work for me. I'm a huge mascara whore. I have every single one that's ever came out since like 2005. lmao. My favorite includes Rimmel London's Lash Accelerator Mascara! Love that thing. Also, sexy curves from Rimmel London is nice too.

I just can't believe Loreal let me down!

Out of curiosity, what don't you like about it? I suppose it does lack volume, it lengthens great but doesn't really make them look fuller if you know what I mean. I'm not the type to wear makeup often so I don't try a lot of different types which is why I've stuck with the lash million one but I would like to try one with a bit more volume rather than just length, but I'm always afraid of clumping!

 

[Babushka99]

Maybelline is the best mascara or estee lauder is good too.

 

[MissFox]

Revlon. The silver case.

 

[Kalah]

To OH -
Don't get in a huff when I refuse help from you. I really do need your help around the house right now as I'm in a lot of pain and under a lot of stress but you just make things more stressful! I can't have you watch Kili while I do some cleaning because 1) I'm not supposed to be up and cleaning right now! and 2) You literally just WATCH her. You have to play with her otherwise she is going to stand there crying at you for attention. She's not being bad, she loves you and wants you to play with her which is completely reasonable. So no I'm not going to just leave her with you while I clean because she'll just cry the entire time while you ignore her or get frustrated at her for being upset. She is my daughter, the most important person in the world to me, I love her more than anything else, I can not focus on cleaning if she's upset I will go to her and pick her up and comfort her and hold her the entire time I clean if I have to. Why can't you just play with her FFS!
And if we try it the other way around and you clean while I have Kili you don't clean right! You barely do anything! You wipe down the counters without moving anything off them and put dishes away, that's all you do! Cleaning the kitchen means completely wipe down ALL the counters which means moving everything off them and also wiping down everything that was on the counters, throw away ALL the trash, take out the recycling, empty the bin, wipe down the bin and the wall behind it, clean off the dining table, put away things that are in the kitchen that don't belong in the kitchen rather than just piling them up on the table, wipe down the stove top/knobs/oven door, wipe down all the handles on everything with disinfectant, sweet/mop the floor, and just basically clean the f**ker until it looks clean!

 

[kit10grl]

LO - i love you i really do but PLEASE stop crying.

maybe even go to sleep?

 

[chichestermum]

amazingly this is not my first pregnancy, i did have to go through the same things with DD so i think i would know if my occasional braxton hicks were real contractions!

I use the common sense approach to pregnancy do's and dont's, everybody else knows that so coming running over to me waving your bits of sodding paper in my face that you have printed from the net saying that i shouldnt be doing this, that or the other is unwanted, not needed and pretty embarrassing for yourself, obv u have nothing better than spy on me all day and then research things about it online!
yes i carried 2 bags of shopping from the taxi to the kitchen, thats not strenuous lifting!
yes i had a bit of brie on a cracker the other day, yes i had a shandy the other evening and yes i did just eat that strawberry straight from the plant in the garden! you will be ignored, your bits of paper wont be accepted and your not going to change my mind, now either eat that bit of paper or go put it in your recycling!

 

[pinklightbulb]

To family members (or anyone thinking of it): Please DO NOT come around when you are sick!!!!! Also, please try to give me some notice that you are planning on appearing. Thank you.

 

[MummyinJune]

To OH -
Don't get in a huff when I refuse help from you. I really do need your help around the house right now as I'm in a lot of pain and under a lot of stress but you just make things more stressful! I can't have you watch Kili while I do some cleaning because 1) I'm not supposed to be up and cleaning right now! and 2) You literally just WATCH her. You have to play with her otherwise she is going to stand there crying at you for attention. She's not being bad, she loves you and wants you to play with her which is completely reasonable. So no I'm not going to just leave her with you while I clean because she'll just cry the entire time while you ignore her or get frustrated at her for being upset. She is my daughter, the most important person in the world to me, I love her more than anything else, I can not focus on cleaning if she's upset I will go to her and pick her up and comfort her and hold her the entire time I clean if I have to. Why can't you just play with her FFS!
And if we try it the other way around and you clean while I have Kili you don't clean right! You barely do anything! You wipe down the counters without moving anything off them and put dishes away, that's all you do! Cleaning the kitchen means completely wipe down ALL the counters which means moving everything off them and also wiping down everything that was on the counters, throw away ALL the trash, take out the recycling, empty the bin, wipe down the bin and the wall behind it, clean off the dining table, put away things that are in the kitchen that don't belong in the kitchen rather than just piling them up on the table, wipe down the stove top/knobs/oven door, wipe down all the handles on everything with disinfectant, sweet/mop the floor, and just basically clean the f**ker until it looks clean!

Hehe I hate leaving lo with mine also if he crys he just puts him in the bouncy and plays on his phone bcoz 'u got 2 leave them 2 cry so they learn' errmm no not at this age, he his hungry comfort him while i get his bottle, he is proper upset with heaps of tears! i hate that so much x

 

[Natsku]

Mum - It was lovely having a holiday with you and Maria but seriously, the messsage alert tone on your phone is too fucking loud! It wasn't just me that told you, even your brother asked you to change it! So yeah, thanks a lot for your stupid phone waking Maria up when she was exhausted and had only been asleep 5 mins ARGH

Maria - little girl I love you dearly but please stop going immediately for the modem wire when you play on the floor. You have your toys to play with, you have me to play with, why do you need to play with wires?!
Also try sleeping sometime, its really good, I promise you. And if you don't go to bed til 11 after two hours of trying, I really don't think 8:30 is an acceptable getting up time, especially when you've been waking every hour almost.