Things I cannot say out loud....

[Kalah]

To OH -
Don't get in a huff when I refuse help from you. I really do need your help around the house right now as I'm in a lot of pain and under a lot of stress but you just make things more stressful! I can't have you watch Kili while I do some cleaning because 1) I'm not supposed to be up and cleaning right now! and 2) You literally just WATCH her. You have to play with her otherwise she is going to stand there crying at you for attention. She's not being bad, she loves you and wants you to play with her which is completely reasonable. So no I'm not going to just leave her with you while I clean because she'll just cry the entire time while you ignore her or get frustrated at her for being upset. She is my daughter, the most important person in the world to me, I love her more than anything else, I can not focus on cleaning if she's upset I will go to her and pick her up and comfort her and hold her the entire time I clean if I have to. Why can't you just play with her FFS!
And if we try it the other way around and you clean while I have Kili you don't clean right! You barely do anything! You wipe down the counters without moving anything off them and put dishes away, that's all you do! Cleaning the kitchen means completely wipe down ALL the counters which means moving everything off them and also wiping down everything that was on the counters, throw away ALL the trash, take out the recycling, empty the bin, wipe down the bin and the wall behind it, clean off the dining table, put away things that are in the kitchen that don't belong in the kitchen rather than just piling them up on the table, wipe down the stove top/knobs/oven door, wipe down all the handles on everything with disinfectant, sweet/mop the floor, and just basically clean the f**ker until it looks clean!

Hehe I hate leaving lo with mine also if he crys he just puts him in the bouncy and plays on his phone bcoz 'u got 2 leave them 2 cry so they learn' errmm no not at this age, he his hungry comfort him while i get his bottle, he is proper upset with heaps of tears! i hate that so much x

Sometimes men just don't get it do they! Kili absolutely LOVES playing with OH so she gets really upset when he won't play with her, she usually just wants to play with his beard

 

[missVN]

To Lady Luck-

When are you going to be kind to us and send some good luck our way? I don't ask for much, I'm a good person really and we need a break!
So far this week oh has had his hours cut, got an engine light come on my car and a massive leak so my car is like a pond and we've found out we're probably in negative equity with our flat! We also found out our new upstairs neighbour is right kn*b so we're even more desperate to move off this godforsaken estate but we're going to be lucky to rent it out nevermind sell it

And to oh-

Please make the effort to notice if I'm having a bad day, it doesn't take much just to ask 'how was your day?' Even if I dont tell you I spent most of the morning in tears because I'm knackered, Ryan has been whingy and fighting his sleep and I'm stressed over what we're going to do with flat, it would be nice to think you care about what kind of a day I've had.

To myself-

Don't feel guilty about wanting to go back to work, you'll still have loads of time with Ryan and you will feel much happier for it. Theres nothing wrong with being a working mum, a happy mum = a happy baby.
And stop bloody eating so much rubbish!! That baby weight is never in a million years going to get shifted if you dont stop it!

 

[Lettuce]

DH...

Hurry up! We're meant to be leaving for a wedding in 10mins and you are still in the shower and to put on full kilt regalia! Yes I'm angry, Jenny and I are in our pants as she is getting fed. You were meant to help! Not go out to buy a black shirt, cos you're too fat for your old one! Why couldnt you do this yesterday? Or wear youre white one?M You are a total fanny.
I know you are always like this and it means we start every important event having had a fight! Why why why can't you just do as I say?! And just try to be organised?! It's 10x worse with a 7week old!! I've got both of us ready and you are still going to make us late!! And don't get me started on the mess you've left at your arse.
I hate you. I don't even want to go to this wedding.
My wedding day was so happy cos I didn't need to see you get ready.

Must breathe and relax... Now meant to leaving in 5mins.... Why must you spoil every event like this?!

 

[cowboys angel]

Ummmm....

 

[MrsPOP]

Thanks for the kind words about my last post

Dear FIL - once again you are a knob. Don't sit there casting disparaging glances at DH because he's in the kitchen making you your lunch whilst I feed LO? He's a modern man and a knackered father of a fractious 3 week old. How bout you or your wife get off your huge arses and make US some fucking lunch instead of coming round expecting us to entertain you?

And don't sit there pontificating how you never changed a nappy at all because 'standards have to be maintained' and how if we were in the 1950s I would be a different wife to the 2011 wife I am.

Well regarding that firstly - FUCK YOU.

Secondly, I could be a 1950s throwback but your son and granddaughter would be living on the streets as who'd pay the fucking mortgage you asshat?

Thirdly, your son likes the fact I'm a strong and successful woman who knows her own mind and isn't afraid to speak it. And he also likes to take care of me and his daughter by being super awesome around the house. That doesn't make him a ninny, it makes him a million times the better man you will ever be. You mightn't like me, you mightn't approve of our modern relationship. But it works for us perfectly and we will also be teaching our daughter how to be a strong, confident woman who doesn't need a man to survive but will hopefully find a relationship with a man (or woman or course) where she will be treated as an equal.

 

[Cupkake.Luver]

Dear Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara:

I bought you thinking you would make me happy. You're a disapointment.

Is that the one in the gold tube? I've used that for a year now I love it! Although my natural lashes are long anyway but all the tips are sun bleached but that stuff makes them nice and dark and even a little longer without the clumps, it's great =)

Yea thats the one. It doesn't work for me. I'm a huge mascara whore. I have every single one that's ever came out since like 2005. lmao. My favorite includes Rimmel London's Lash Accelerator Mascara! Love that thing. Also, sexy curves from Rimmel London is nice too.

I just can't believe Loreal let me down!

Out of curiosity, what don't you like about it? I suppose it does lack volume, it lengthens great but doesn't really make them look fuller if you know what I mean. I'm not the type to wear makeup often so I don't try a lot of different types which is why I've stuck with the lash million one but I would like to try one with a bit more volume rather than just length, but I'm always afraid of clumping!

It doesn't give me any volume. My eyelashes are super long. I wanted to find a mascara to give me volume and curves...this one failed me in that aspect. But I still use it...I just mix it with another one.


To my Babba:

Please my love, stop scratching your face. You scream so loud and you might leave a scar one day. I'm just gonna put mittens on your hands and your gonna have to look like a baby boxer.

 

[minkymoo]

Thanks for the kind words about my last post

Dear FIL - once again you are a knob. Don't sit there casting disparaging glances at DH because he's in the kitchen making you your lunch whilst I feed LO? He's a modern man and a knackered father of a fractious 3 week old. How bout you or your wife get off your huge arses and make US some fucking lunch instead of coming round expecting us to entertain you?

And don't sit there pontificating how you never changed a nappy at all because 'standards have to be maintained' and how if we were in the 1950s I would be a different wife to the 2011 wife I am.

Well regarding that firstly - FUCK YOU.

Secondly, I could be a 1950s throwback but your son and granddaughter would be living on the streets as who'd pay the fucking mortgage you asshat?

Thirdly, your son likes the fact I'm a strong and successful woman who knows her own mind and isn't afraid to speak it. And he also likes to take care of me and his daughter by being super awesome around the house. That doesn't make him a ninny, it makes him a million times the better man you will ever be. You mightn't like me, you mightn't approve of our modern relationship. But it works for us perfectly and we will also be teaching our daughter how to be a strong, confident woman who doesn't need a man to survive but will hopefully find a relationship with a man (or woman or course) where she will be treated as an equal.

Hear Hear!

It's 2011 not 1911. Stupid, chauvinistic git (and i don't even know him).

 

[Mya209]

Thanks for the kind words about my last post

Dear FIL - once again you are a knob. Don't sit there casting disparaging glances at DH because he's in the kitchen making you your lunch whilst I feed LO? He's a modern man and a knackered father of a fractious 3 week old. How bout you or your wife get off your huge arses and make US some fucking lunch instead of coming round expecting us to entertain you?

And don't sit there pontificating how you never changed a nappy at all because 'standards have to be maintained' and how if we were in the 1950s I would be a different wife to the 2011 wife I am.

Well regarding that firstly - FUCK YOU.

Secondly, I could be a 1950s throwback but your son and granddaughter would be living on the streets as who'd pay the fucking mortgage you asshat?

Thirdly, your son likes the fact I'm a strong and successful woman who knows her own mind and isn't afraid to speak it. And he also likes to take care of me and his daughter by being super awesome around the house. That doesn't make him a ninny, it makes him a million times the better man you will ever be. You mightn't like me, you mightn't approve of our modern relationship. But it works for us perfectly and we will also be teaching our daughter how to be a strong, confident woman who doesn't need a man to survive but will hopefully find a relationship with a man (or woman or course) where she will be treated as an equal.

This NEEDS to be said out loud! Seriously! I'm a strong 2011 (working) wife too and my OH does all the cooking and most of the housework! I get lots of comments too

 

[Tiffa130]

My MIL "hints" at this too by giving me things like ovenmits, spice racks & dustpan as Christmas gifts. Oh & a turkey fork.

I make her son happy & I own my own business. We share the household duties & are happy together. I'm getting really tired of the passive aggressive attempts to make me a house wife.

Also why does it bother me so much when she calls my LO "my baby". It goes against the grain & I can't figure out why. My mom does it too & it doesn't bug me at all.

 

[Scarlett316]

To my mum and dad -

I love you noth but only because you are my parents, the reality is that neither of you are very nice people. its tken me a long time to accept this but now i have i've realised something. it's not now, nor ever has been me. its always beeen you. you are the problem.
i can accept that at 16 i had to get a job and pay for my own school uniform.

I can accept that you paid out a fortune for my sisters wedding cos it coincided with you getting the money from my grandad's will and then when i got married i nver even got a present. Cos as usual you didnt have any money.

i can accept that when i phoned you to tell you i was going into hospital to be induced, you cut me off mid sentence to tell me my sister was pregnant and then made the whole conversation about her. again.

i can accept that 3 years ago i had to lend you £1300 so your house wouldn't get repossessed and when you paid it back last month you made a big song and dance about it like you were doing me a favour paying me back my own fucking money.

i can accept that when jacob was born you asked me why i had chosen such a funny old fashioned name.

i can accept that you have been to our house so few times, i always have to tell you where the bathroom is cos you can never remember. Even now that i have a baby, i always have to come to you don't i? Cos you can't be arsed.

What i cannot accept is you questioning my ability as a parent. What the fuck would you know about parenting. 2 out of 3 of your kids resent you. the other lives 3000 miles away. what does that tell you??

It doesn't even register does it? Because ostrich syndrome reigns in our family doesn't it?

Do you want to know a secret? I'd had 6 periods before you even found out they had started. What kind of 12 year old is so detached from her own mother that shes embarrassed to tell her that her periods have started?

Oh yeah, the kind of 12 year old that has to go to school with toilet paper in her underwear cos you moaned when i told you i needed tampax, and i was too embarrassed to ask again.

All i ever wanted was to feel like was part of a family, i do now, the sad thing s that its not you two, its my husbands family, they have done more for me in the last 5 months than you have managed in a lifetime. they drive me a bit potty at times but hey, at least they accept me for who i am, which is more than you ever did.

God it feels good to get all that out.

 

[Mya209]

My MIL "hints" at this too by giving me things like ovenmits, spice racks & dustpan as Christmas gifts. Oh & a turkey fork.

I make her son happy & I own my own business. We share the household duties & are happy together. I'm getting really tired of the passive aggressive attempts to make me a house wife.

Also why does it bother me so much when she calls my LO "my baby". It goes against the grain & I can't figure out why. My mom does it too & it doesn't bug me at all.

The first thing my MIL did when I met DH is try to teach me how to cook his favourite meal! She soon got to know me and realised that this sort of thing is truely pointless! (and I find it insulting!)

 

[elephant29]

To my mum and dad -

I love you noth but only because you are my parents, the reality is that neither of you are very nice people. its tken me a long time to accept this but now i have i've realised something. it's not now, nor ever has been me. its always beeen you. you are the problem.
i can accept that at 16 i had to get a job and pay for my own school uniform.

I can accept that you paid out a fortune for my sisters wedding cos it coincided with you getting the money from my grandad's will and then when i got married i nver even got a present. Cos as usual you didnt have any money.

i can accept that when i phoned you to tell you i was going into hospital to be induced, you cut me off mid sentence to tell me my sister was pregnant and then made the whole conversation about her. again.

i can accept that 3 years ago i had to lend you £1300 so your house wouldn't get repossessed and when you paid it back last month you made a big song and dance about it like you were doing me a favour paying me back my own fucking money.

i can accept that when jacob was born you asked me why i had chosen such a funny old fashioned name.

i can accept that you have been to our house so few times, i always have to tell you where the bathroom is cos you can never remember. Even now that i have a baby, i always have to come to you don't i? Cos you can't be arsed.

What i cannot accept is you questioning my ability as a parent. What the fuck would you know about parenting. 2 out of 3 of your kids resent you. the other lives 3000 miles away. what does that tell you??

It doesn't even register does it? Because ostrich syndrome reigns in our family doesn't it?

Do you want to know a secret? I'd had 6 periods before you even found out they had started. What kind of 12 year old is so detached from her own mother that shes embarrassed to tell her that her periods have started?

Oh yeah, the kind of 12 year old that has to go to school with toilet paper in her underwear cos you moaned when i told you i needed tampax, and i was too embarrassed to ask again.

All i ever wanted was to feel like was part of a family, i do now, the sad thing s that its not you two, its my husbands family, they have done more for me in the last 5 months than you have managed in a lifetime. they drive me a bit potty at times but hey, at least they accept me for who i am, which is more than you ever did.

God it feels good to get all that out.

 

[Kalah]

Thanks for the kind words about my last post

Dear FIL - once again you are a knob. Don't sit there casting disparaging glances at DH because he's in the kitchen making you your lunch whilst I feed LO? He's a modern man and a knackered father of a fractious 3 week old. How bout you or your wife get off your huge arses and make US some fucking lunch instead of coming round expecting us to entertain you?

And don't sit there pontificating how you never changed a nappy at all because 'standards have to be maintained' and how if we were in the 1950s I would be a different wife to the 2011 wife I am.

Well regarding that firstly - FUCK YOU.

Secondly, I could be a 1950s throwback but your son and granddaughter would be living on the streets as who'd pay the fucking mortgage you asshat?

Thirdly, your son likes the fact I'm a strong and successful woman who knows her own mind and isn't afraid to speak it. And he also likes to take care of me and his daughter by being super awesome around the house. That doesn't make him a ninny, it makes him a million times the better man you will ever be. You mightn't like me, you mightn't approve of our modern relationship. But it works for us perfectly and we will also be teaching our daughter how to be a strong, confident woman who doesn't need a man to survive but will hopefully find a relationship with a man (or woman or course) where she will be treated as an equal.

"asshat"!!

I've got kind of the opposite problem, my MIL just assumed I didn't know how to do anything around the house from the moment she met me! Always trying to tell me how to clean or how to cook things and it was so annoying because she gave terrible and usually wrong advice and I had to keep correcting her! Shocked the pants off her when she saw me cooking a steak & mince pie from scratch (me being american and all she wasn't expecting me to know how to cook english food) I even made the crust by hand and it turned out delicious! She had no idea I'm actually an amazing cook and a very thorough cleaner! I just hate when people make assumptions that someone should or shouldn't be the "housewife" type when they don't even know us!

 

[MrsPOP]

to Scarlett

Well I did say to FIL half jokingly ( but mostly meaning it) that I would have thrown my mug of coffee at him for those comments but the mug was too expensive

He actually sat there and was proud to say when DH was a baby and MIL was really sick in bed one day waiting for the Doctor to come out, he brought my DH to her to get her to chance his nappy!!!!! I would have changed the nappy and flung it in his face!!!!!

DH's entire family are like that, very traditional. Which is fine for them but not for us. My mum didn't raise me that way even though her marriage to my dad used to be very traditional and I'm so grateful to her for showing me that women have options. I'm not against the traditional type of marriage, just isn't the right choice for me or DH.

 

[missVN]

To my toothache- please sod off! I HATE HATE HATE going to the dentist so please don't make me go

 

[Tiffa130]

Dear OH - yes it pisses me off when you get off work early & we get to spend quality time together. Instead you come home and go to bed & don't wake up until the time you get off work.

It would be nice to have a little adult companionship occasionally during the day. Or better yet offer to take care of LO so I can go take a nap.

Yes you only got 5 hours of sleep last night but I only got 3.

I love how you always suggest we go nap together, knowing that LO isn't going to stay down long enough. What always happens is we go to bed, she wakes up after 30 min & you're already asleep so I get up again.

I'm now going to do the dishes & bang around while you sleep. Happy nap!

 

[Lettuce]

DD you are a little tease! I know can STTN, as demonstrated by last night, 11.30 til 6. so why can't you do it every night? I'm really nit that interesting a person at 4am.

To the labour nightmares, please stop revisiting me.

 

[MrsPOP]

To LO - why is 12am-3am 'refuse to be put in Moses basket or I will do massive voms' time? You're more than happy in the MB at other times and fall asleep on my chest quite happily during the night so why do you fuss when I put you down? And why after snacking on your bottle So it's like we're constantly feeding you and I wind you for ages you vom as soon as you are put down? I love you but I'm exhausted.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Lettuce, I'm jealous! Alex isn't even close to STTN!

 

[cowboys angel]

Scarlett