Things I cannot say out loud....

[Mizze]

Emmi's rants reminded me of more of my own! (I've got the opposite problem, Kili looks tiny!)

Yes she is definitely a year old! I remember having her birthday party, I also remember giving birth to her. No she isn't 7 months old, she is ONE!!

Mizze xx

 

[Natsku]

Whilst im loving this thread & enjoying reading your posts

I cant help but feel a sadness ~ My Family & DHs Family dont see our Children very much at all & my MIL died when my DH was young

I wish I had these people around me to 'annoy me'!

I know how you feel, my MIL died when OH was 18 so I never got to meet her. And my mum has only met Maria once (so she just annoys me on the phone) and my dad has never met her. The only family she gets to meet in any way regularly (like once a month) is FIL and step-MIL.

 

[shambaby]

to mil:

no, he does not enjoy having his face repeatedly poked whilst being jiggled about like a pneumatic drill

yes, he will cry and possibly be sick on you if you do that

no, we did not name him boo-boo so STOP CALLING HIM THAT

to fil:

no, it is not ok for him to chew on your manky old hat
to my mum:

no, he does not want some chocolate. he doesn't even know what chocolate is. he just wants food and he's more than happy with his fruit

no, social services will not be interested if you call them to tell them i am making my baby feed himself (blw - pre-loaded spoons. oh, the horror!)

yes, actually, it did do me some harm.

and stop giving him hats to play with - he never ever took his own off until you started doing that!!!

 

[MrsPoodle]

I do not want her to suck her thumb! You had to buy your daughter mittens to break her of that particular habit!

 

[runnergrl]

OMG, Best, funniest thread I have come across on BNB yet. I must add my own..although I will probably be repeating several others... Most of which are to my inlaws..

To MIL:
*Yes I AM still breastfeeding and plan to do so as long as I can, and its NOT weird just because you didnt do it because it 'hurt so bad'
* I am using disposable diapers, but its not because you 'told me so' its because I got tons of them as gifts and I will switch to cloth as soon we run out-weather you like it or not
*no you will NOT keep him overnight and (as many others have said) I do not need a break, besides, I dont trust you.
* no, it is NOT ok for you to sit on the edge of the bed at watch me breastfeed my son.. its rather creepy actually and I dont care how 'fascinating' you find it..its natural and normal, not 'weirdly precious' UUUGH!
*(this has been said repetedly but I must agree) HE IS NOT YOUR BABY, he is MINE! Stop saying he is YOURS!
* and no, we do not HAVE to come to you all the time. Its a 2 1/2 hour drive and right now he HATES the car. If you want to see him, you make the effort. end of story.

To DH: Yes, I am busy cleaning or cooking, and if you are home and he is crying, i do need you to pick him up. I cant be the only one to soothe him. He needs to know daddy can help too

Ahhh, that DOES feel better!

 

[Mizze]

Honestly - I do like my MIL - really I do, but I have ANOTHER one!

Yes I know I look tired, yes I would like a sleep but its not going to happen at Sunday lunch with your entire family yelling at one another so dont KEEP telling me I look like shit!

And relax...

Mizze xx

 

[elephant29]

To MIL;

I know having another baby is going to be hard work. You dont hold the monopoly on having kids, you had 2 and were much younger than me and survived so I'm sure I'll manage just fine

Yep I am fully aware working full-time and having LO is hard. I do it. I hate it but I have to do it. You saying 'Ooh but it's hard' doesnt help me, it makes me want to smack u with my shift pattern!

Dont walk into my house and immediately take LO off me. At least pretend your here to see me as well!

Dont try and grab the pram from me everytime we are out somewhere. I dont mind you pushing her but whilst I am dont try and hold on and edge me out the way!

To FIL;

I dont feel comfortable leaving my daughter crying to eat Sunday dinner. It doesnt hurt me or her for me to hold her and settle her so stop telling me to leave her.

 

[elephant29]

Honestly - I do like my MIL - really I do, but I have ANOTHER one!

Yes I know I look tired, yes I would like a sleep but its not going to happen at Sunday lunch with your entire family yelling at one another so dont KEEP telling me I look like shit!

And relax...

Mizze xx

Haha I really like mine as well!

xxx

 

[tu123]

To certain family members.

I am NOT trying homeopathy. The concentration is sooo small it is as dilute as a grain of sand in a whole ocean!

Placebo effect will not work for reflux or colic!

 

[Kalah]

OMG, Best, funniest thread I have come across on BNB yet. I must add my own..although I will probably be repeating several others... Most of which are to my inlaws..

To MIL:
*Yes I AM still breastfeeding and plan to do so as long as I can, and its NOT weird just because you didnt do it because it 'hurt so bad'
* I am using disposable diapers, but its not because you 'told me so' its because I got tons of them as gifts and I will switch to cloth as soon we run out-weather you like it or not
*no you will NOT keep him overnight and (as many others have said) I do not need a break, besides, I dont trust you.
* no, it is NOT ok for you to sit on the edge of the bed at watch me breastfeed my son.. its rather creepy actually and I dont care how 'fascinating' you find it..its natural and normal, not 'weirdly precious' UUUGH!
*(this has been said repetedly but I must agree) HE IS NOT YOUR BABY, he is MINE! Stop saying he is YOURS!
* and no, we do not HAVE to come to you all the time. Its a 2 1/2 hour drive and right now he HATES the car. If you want to see him, you make the effort. end of story.

To DH: Yes, I am busy cleaning or cooking, and if you are home and he is crying, i do need you to pick him up. I cant be the only one to soothe him. He needs to know daddy can help too

Ahhh, that DOES feel better!

That would be so weird!

 

[karlilay]

MIL- STOP copying a storing all my photos of the kids in a personal folder on your computer. I put them on Facebook so all the family that are dotted around can see how they are growing. Wench.

 

[Kalah]

MIL- STOP copying a storing all my photos of the kids in a personal folder on your computer. I put them on Facebook so all the family that are dotted around can see how they are growing. Wench.

I know a way to make it impossible to copy the pictures if you're interested. If you find one of those websites that lets you make your own webpage and post all your pictures on there instead of facebook you can then (using HTML code) place a clear .gif image over the entire page so if anyone tries to right click on your pictures they will only copy the blank .gif image.

 

[minkymoo]

Dear MIL - please stop walking backwards with the pram in the shopping mall if a bit of sun is poking through. Niamh will shut her eyes for those few seconds and will be fine, in fact the Vit D will do her good. Aside from that you look like a twat when you do it and I have to be associated with you......

 

[fidget]

another one - it's 27 degrees outside and he's fine in a shortie - he's doesn't need a vest! he's not cold, and doesn't need a million layers on

 

[puppycat]

Fantastic thread!

My daughter is 19 months now but it never stops!

To my Nan, please let Laura feed herself, she doesn't need you to hold the spoon or show her how to do it because she CAN do it herself. If you take it off her she WILL scream, not because she's 'spoilt' but because she's independent.

To my DH, don't just shout 'NO' at Laura, tell her why, explain it to her and tell her not to do it rather than shouting. She'll just get upset and do it again later because you've taught her NOTHING!!

I do not need you to tell me what is wrong with my daughter, I'm a SAHM and have spent the last 19months with her, all day, every day. Do you really think you know her better than I do??

 

[Kalah]

Dear MIL - please stop walking backwards with the pram in the shopping mall if a bit of sun is poking through. Niamh will shut her eyes for those few seconds and will be fine, in fact the Vit D will do her good. Aside from that you look like a twat when you do it and I have to be associated with you......

I would love to see someone walking around doing that!!

 

[Babushka99]

MIL- STOP copying a storing all my photos of the kids in a personal folder on your computer. I put them on Facebook so all the family that are dotted around can see how they are growing. Wench.

I know a way to make it impossible to copy the pictures if you're interested. If you find one of those websites that lets you make your own webpage and post all your pictures on there instead of facebook you can then (using HTML code) place a clear .gif image over the entire page so if anyone tries to right click on your pictures they will only copy the blank .gif image.

Apple macs you can copy even the supposedly uncopyable (not even a word but sounded good and u know what I mean)

 

[Palestrina]

To my MIL:
- Breastmilk IS real food so please stop telling me to stop BF and switch to formula so that I can feed him real food
- Yes, he CAN wait until he's old enough for you to feed him soup.

To my Mom:
- No, he's not crying because I've spoiled him by picking him up. You can't spoil a newborn.
- No he's not cold. No he's not hot. No he is not the opposite of what I say he is.
- Just because you've "never heard of anyone holding their baby this much" doesn't mean it doesn't happen or that it's wrong.
- Screaming doesn't mean that he's just "clearing his lungs"
- I'm allowed to cry because I laboured for 3 days, had an emergency C-section, they kept my baby in the NICU for a week, my feet are swollen, I'm constipated, I don't have time to eat or sleep, my nipples are sore, and my hormones are raging. It's normal that I'm stressed out so stop yelling at me to "get a grip" every time I get emotional.

 

[crazyfrog]

To everyone (inlaws especially):

stop hogging my baby and just let me cuddle her. You can blatantly see she isn't happy because she wants her mum or dad. No, she isn't like this all the time. She is isn't hungry or thirsty or got trapped wind. She is pissed off with you messing with her, jigging her around and talking to her like she is an utter idiot.

To everyone: Piss off and stop asking me the same questions over and over and over. Ie. Is she good? What the hell do you think i am going to say?

 

[Tadan]

To everyone (inlaws especially):

stop hogging my baby and just let me cuddle her. You can blatantly see she isn't happy because she wants her mum or dad. No, she isn't like this all the time. She is isn't hungry or thirsty or got trapped wind. She is pissed off with you messing with her, jigging her around and talking to her like she is an utter idiot.

To everyone: Piss off and stop asking me the same questions over and over and over. Ie. Is she good? What the hell do you think i am going to say?

That is all I ever get, everytime she makes a noise "oh its wind, give her here, I'll get it up" No thanks, Im quite capable and btw its not always wind! Sometimes she just wants a hug and rocking back to sleep!

And then the "Is she/he good" it is all everyone ever asks! Family, friends, strangers... getting quite sick of it now! Is she good in what way? Does she sleep? Does she eat well? Is she quiet/loud? It can be interpreted in many ways!