Things I cannot say out loud....

[Lettuce]

Yikes! sometimes I'm glad I live in a flat.... x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

FOB: Please stop telling me I'm a sh!t mum & that I'm taking LO's family away. You're breaking my heart

Mom's sister: You're a bitch. I hate you. You treat my mom like shit & get her in trouble. Stay with your Auntie Irene forever. Lets face it, she still has money & you've spent all grandads now. Your a twat! Stay away from my son!!

 

[MajorBee]

What a fabulous idea for a thread.

So sorry to hear some of the shit you ladies have to put up with.

My life isn't perfect (who's is?) but I can't really complain about much more than OH telling me he's tired and my LO deciding that a bottle doesn't even come near the real thing!

Love my little pudding xx

 

[LadyRoy]

Dear court we were supposed to go in at 10am not 2:30 so it is your fault the baby is grumpy and my back hurts.

OH ex no we are not going to accept a reduction in contact as going forward - silly bitch

 

[tommyg]

Wee man - why are you so grumpy today??? You slept fairly well last night you were only up once or twice instead of your normal 6 or 8 times.

Courier company - why did you bother to return to the seller to pick up my new tyres if you weren't going to deliver them today? I am now going on holiday with a buggy with at least one dodgy tyre.

Scottish Power when are you going to connect my new house?

 

[divadexie]

DS's dad. Why are you so shit. You only sometimes see him when he is at your mums, which is now because he is at school, 4 times a year.
You have me as a friend on facebook FFS how long does it take to write me a comment asking how he is doing at school or something?!
It's right, any idiot can make a baby but it takes a MAN to be a dad and that is my OH he is a far better dad than you have ever been or will ever be.

 

[tanya]

To "friend" on Facebook, I was quite hurt by what you said and think I won't bother coming to see you next week, wouldn't kill you to drive here either.
Basically I put a picture on fb of a dress I want to wear to a wedding, I am madly in love with this dress and wanted to get an opinion of it from my friends, she comes on and says "I'm not sure Hun, I think it would be difficult for the not skinny people of the world to pull it off, but your braver than me"
Ok so you think I'm fat (I am but I think it's just polite not to bring it up) an you also think that I would still wear something unsuitable just because you think I'm "brave"
I don't know why this bothered me as I did ask for opinions but I was asking for opinions of if it was a nice dress and if the style was suitable not if someone thinks I'm too fat to wear it. If it was up to most people I'd be wearing a sack to cover my hideous fat because I shouldn't wear nice clothes, they are saved for the skinny people.
I gave birth 9 weeks ago, give me a bit of slack for being fat please?
I'm gonna put this on Facebook:
Ive decided I'm done being ashamed of my body, it might wobble a bit or stick out in places others don't, I might not look like the women in magazines or in films but there is a reason for this, I am not those women I am me, I don't look like them because I'm too busy looking like me. I have spent so many years trying to disguise my body and making myself miserable with diets trying to become someone I'm not.
In my opinion My body is beautiful, my stretch marks show a map of how I grew my son, my saggy tummy shows how big and curvy my bump was and my fat bum gives me a comfy cushion wherever I sit.
My body managed to create a human life, a new being more beautiful than anything I ever saw.
How could I not be proud of something that has the amazing power to produce life from almost nothing, to sustain a new life inside?
I might not be your idea of beautiful or amazing but I have the only body I will ever have and I'm done wishing I had someone elses.

 

[lisaf]

to MIL and SIL... thank you for watching my son today. But he did NOT say the word 'OWL' he's only 4 months old!!!! I don't care if he said it 3 times.. he made a noise FFS!!!

 

[Kalah]

To "friend" on Facebook, I was quite hurt by what you said and think I won't bother coming to see you next week, wouldn't kill you to drive here either.
Basically I put a picture on fb of a dress I want to wear to a wedding, I am madly in love with this dress and wanted to get an opinion of it from my friends, she comes on and says "I'm not sure Hun, I think it would be difficult for the not skinny people of the world to pull it off, but your braver than me"
Ok so you think I'm fat (I am but I think it's just polite not to bring it up) an you also think that I would still wear something unsuitable just because you think I'm "brave"
I don't know why this bothered me as I did ask for opinions but I was asking for opinions of if it was a nice dress and if the style was suitable not if someone thinks I'm too fat to wear it. If it was up to most people I'd be wearing a sack to cover my hideous fat because I shouldn't wear nice clothes, they are saved for the skinny people.
I gave birth 9 weeks ago, give me a bit of slack for being fat please?
I'm gonna put this on Facebook:
Ive decided I'm done being ashamed of my body, it might wobble a bit or stick out in places others don't, I might not look like the women in magazines or in films but there is a reason for this, I am not those women I am me, I don't look like them because I'm too busy looking like me. I have spent so many years trying to disguise my body and making myself miserable with diets trying to become someone I'm not.
In my opinion My body is beautiful, my stretch marks show a map of how I grew my son, my saggy tummy shows how big and curvy my bump was and my fat bum gives me a comfy cushion wherever I sit.
My body managed to create a human life, a new being more beautiful than anything I ever saw.
How could I not be proud of something that has the amazing power to produce life from almost nothing, to sustain a new life inside?
I might not be your idea of beautiful or amazing but I have the only body I will ever have and I'm done wishing I had someone elses.

I love that.
and...who the hell ever said you have to be tiny to look good in a dress?! I actually remember many nights giving my mom advice on how she looks in her outfit before she goes out, and most of the time I always said go with a tailored dress because those just look amazing on her (I wouldn't say she was ever fat, just had a fuller figure) and I was always jealous that she could pull the dress off because if I tried it, the heavy fabric and sharp lines would have swallowed me up, but it looked really good on her. I do hate when someone points out someone elses body shape, everyone knows what their own body looks like already.
I used to have a "best friend" who was always, always, always telling me I had the body of a 10 year old boy No boobs, no butt, no curves, nothing womanly...it got so frustrating!! I ate like a freakin horse every day, but every morning I woke up thin again it was just impossible to put any weight on. There is really no need to have flaws pointed out because I was damn well aware of them already. Now since I'm moving back to Missouri I'll probably eventually see this "friend" and I can already guess what she'll say "girl you need to lose some weight"...to which I will say "actually I'm quite happy with my new curves, so f*#* off!!"

What is it with societies obsession with weight?!

 

[LockandKey]

Dear MIL: If you think I am spoiling DD because I like to give her cuddles and pick her up every time she cries instead of letting her CIO then so be it, I'm spoiling her with love.

to anyone who dares say crap to me about my parenting: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!! Mind you're own damn business!

Haha, I'd probably say that last one if they caught me on a bad day

 

[divadexie]

dear friend of a friend. You've actually really annoyed me but I am not going to say anything because I don't like letting people down.
Your weeks holiday has not only changed to now 10 days but it has also moved forward 3 days meaning it overlaps me dog sitting for someone else and is also on dog class day where will the extra hours magic from and I still havent told OH. Well Im sorry but your dog will just have to wait its turn. And I am booking a riding lesson for lunch time the day you said you were going to collect her to make sure you don't take the P any further.


Dear friend. I get that you are on holiday in england but you get annoyed and post silly comments about where was your invite when Ive done something with another friend, yet you hardly bother with me when you are with your other friends?
And where the hell do you think I have time to do a free portrait before christmas.
Also having baby sat a few times does not make you an expert stop pretending you know everything they are MY children.

 

[bluestarlight]

well...I did actually say this out loud, and so did my husband this morning:

To the F*ing cats:

Yes, I realize the weather suddenly got cooler and you were all excited, but did you have to tear through Elora's room last night and wake her up twice?! And her sleep was so disturbed that she wouldn't stay asleep unless she was on me. She didn't fall back to sleep until midnight and had to sleep in our bed, then was all messed up so she woke up at 4am, and all of us were tired. Now I am at work and have to train 2 new people today on 4 hours of sleep? Then you decided it was sleep time yourselves and all 3 of you laid on my legs so i couldn't get comfy....sigh....stupid cats...I still love you but...*grrr*

 

[Ilikecake]

To OH
I need a break, I really do and I can't tell you or ask you as I feel guilty because you're at work all day. The reason i've been so "hormonal" lately is because i'm fed up as much as I love J i'm attached to him 24/7 and I feel like if I ask for help or admit i'm struggling then i'm a bad mummy. Also when we go to the hospital and they ask how often he gets breathless...don't answer with "he doesn't" you see him (despite living with us) for about 6 hours a week, if not less, you have no idea what he does and doesn't do....other than that...I love you and thankyou.

 

[Lauki]

To OH
I need a break, I really do and I can't tell you or ask you as I feel guilty because you're at work all day. The reason i've been so "hormonal" lately is because i'm fed up as much as I love J i'm attached to him 24/7 and I feel like if I ask for help or admit i'm struggling then i'm a bad mummy. Also when we go to the hospital and they ask how often he gets breathless...don't answer with "he doesn't" you see him (despite living with us) for about 6 hours a week, if not less, you have no idea what he does and doesn't do....other than that...I love you and thankyou.

Don't feel like a bad mum for asking for help!!! You're both parents and eventhough your husband works, he should still be a parent!
My husband works all day and when he gets in he first spends an hour or so with LO so I can get some bits done and sort dinner. I don't even ask him anymore, because I think as a daddy he's not just supposed to pay the bills, but he's also supposed to be there for his daughter. Yes he has to cut down on his computer time, but that's the things you give up as soon as you become a parent!

 

[LockandKey]

Dear DH, please stop following me to the bathroom while DD is in your arms. I've had her all day, you can stand to take her for at least 5 mins while I do my business. And I know you can entertain her just fine cuz I can hear you singing to her from the other side of the door.

And stop calling my left tit "The Good Denny's"

Dear DD, stop kicking your mother in the arm while she's trying to nurse you

 

[tanya]

To dh, thanks for doing the occasional wash, usually making the white baby clothes, grey blue, pink etc. You dont actually do anything with it, just put it in and leave me to deal with it. I don't nee help with the housework I can manage that it's Flynn I need help with, you remember Flynn don't you? I think you were there when he was born..
I can count on one hand the amount of nappies you've changed, actually I can count on one finger the amount of nappies you've changed! Very occasionally you'll give him a bottle if I'm busy but as soon as I'm free you hand him over. It's a bit nice that you get up for night feeds but you waking up when he does, making a bottle (it basically involves pouring the formula, which I premeasure into pots, into the bottle ad shaking it) then you get back in bed and I have to feed and change him and settle him, also why are you obsessed with his shit? Every time I go near his nappy I he asked I he's pood! I don't bloody know till I open it an why do you care anyway you aren't changing him?
You used to enjoy helping with his baths but for some reason will now find any excuse not to bathe him, unless he's bathed and asleep when you get in from work then your disappointed that you weren't here! What would you have done anyway? Left him in his swing/bouncer and said "shush up" to him repeatedly, he doesn't understand that!
Having a cuddle when you can be bothered doesn't involve laying him across your lap and patting him occasionally, you wanna know why he smiles and laughs for your dad more? Your dad plays with him and cuddles him and basically adores him! He cries when we leave your dad but doesn't react when you leave and that hurts me, I dont think you even noticed.
When I ask for help it's usually because I'm right at the end of my tether, how hard would it be for you to say "I'll take him fir an hour you relax" di can't even have a bloody shower without you bringing him to the bathroom to ask stupid questions.
Also please stop asking him to "show you on the doll where nasty mummy touched you" and saying "naughty mummy touching baby's todger" I have to clean it you know! He has the amazing ability to collect poo under his todger, you would know this had you ever changed him. You know buts about my childhood too so I think even joking that I'd molest Flynn is hugely inappropriate and insensitive.

If I come downstairs after getting dressed in a mo and you haven't bothered washing the bottles or packing the bag I am going to seriously consider kickin you in the balls and going to the seaside without you, it's bloody raining anyway!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Dear DH: You are a complete and utter asshole. I'm beginning to hate you more and more each day. No, groping my ass does not make me feel loved. Taking Alex for two hours to let me sleep in would.....or surprising me by taking me to lunch. I don't want you to go out tonight. You'll come home pissed and I HATE THAT because you're fucking useless the next day and you moan and moan and moan!

DH's work: why have a fucking night out and not let people bring partners? Do you think we like being stuck home with kids and then having to deal with drunk husbands/wives/bfs/gfs? GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

 

[Kalah]

Dear DH: You are a complete and utter asshole. I'm beginning to hate you more and more each day. No, groping my ass does not make me feel loved. Taking Alex for two hours to let me sleep in would.....or surprising me by taking me to lunch. I don't want you to go out tonight. You'll come home pissed and I HATE THAT because you're fucking useless the next day and you moan and moan and moan!

DH's work: why have a fucking night out and not let people bring partners? Do you think we like being stuck home with kids and then having to deal with drunk husbands/wives/bfs/gfs? GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

I know what you mean! Same with shoving a hand down my pants randomly, spanking me, putting your hand on the couch right where I'm about to sit so that I sit on your hand (this one actually really pisses me off), or grabbing at my chest and trying to put your mouth on my boobs...really?! Kili eats from those, NOT FOR YOU!
It just makes me feel like some dirty sex object rather than loved

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I just wish he would come up and just give me a big hug and tell me I'm doing a great job with Alex and he appreciates me looking after him at night instead of moaning about him not sleeping well.

I totally get the boob thing! I don't want DH anywhere near them! I feel like they don't belong to him right now

 

[DanielleM]

To my mother; stop looking me up and down I know I have put weight on but you make me feel so uncomfortable!!!