Traditional weaning V BLW

[TigerLady]

<--- is sad this has become such a mess.

I'm out and over to A's thread. I hope this thread either becomes productive again, or dies.

GC, sorry your thread turned into something you never wanted.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

The person who was rude and insulting is being 'dealt with' apparently. You can always report people if you feel they have broken forum rules but I'm guessing you might have known this was going to be a controversial one...anything involving asking 'do you do x or do you do y' is going to be...

 

[helen1234]

girls girls calm down. i had a feeling it would end up like this.

really not sure where this is all heading, we gonna have a head to head battle on who is better at weaning their baby by having a competition.
wish i hadnt voted or stated what how i wean now. cos it become a battle between weaning practices ....

 

[JayleighAnn]

girls girls calm down. i had a feeling it would end up like this.

really not sure where this is all heading, we gonna have a head to head battle on who is better at weaning their baby by having a competition.
wish i hadnt voted or stated what how i wean now. cos it become a battle between weaning practices ....

There will be no competition as I would clearly win I'n clearly only playing!

I too wish I hadn't voted nor said anything, I was far too tired to make sense lmao

 

[golcarlilly]

Only for a short length of time until the baby learns to use a spoon.

I know that it's come on from post WW2 but there is still a lot left over, such as eating all your food, babies being fed bland foods to start off their pallet.

Not true in my case, I have actively avoided baby rice as it tastes of absolutely nothing and have already in week two introduced lots of different flavours in order to stimulate Myles' palate

It's nice to be put right in a nice way hun, I didn't realised TW babies where encouraged to take their own spoons whilst still young, I always thought they where allowed to take over at like 12-18month+ and it's great to see that he's having a very varied diet!

I'm sorry your thread ended up a row

Well that is the way I do it I encourage him to hold the spoon if he wants to and allow him to put his fingers in his mouth which he likes to do (maybe to feel the food?) perhaps I am doing more BLW than I thought

I have enjoyed reading everyones comments and ideas on both types of weaning and I am going to pretend that the arguments on here never happened thanks for all your input ladies. In conclusion is seems that TW and BLW are pretty much neck and neck in the voting stakes and I am sure that all our babies are getting all the nutrition and encouragement they need whichever method we are using

 

[Lottie86]

My opinion is that as long as people are feeding their babies I really couldn't give two hoots whether they BLW or TW!!

The method of weaning we do here: The Findlay Method!!

We have a bit of an unusual situation as Findlay has been tube fed since he was very very little and due to medical reasons he has an oral aversion so he will not eat as he associates food and anything near his mouth with intense pain.

We have been told by the dietician and the speech & language therapist to give him finger foods that he can explore himself (so far he will only put a ricecake in his mouth but that's an enormous step for him!!) and also to try and give him some purees and we can now get him to take 1 weaning spoon of puree before he goes hysterical which again is a massive improvement. We have been told that we do have to try and make him eat solids as he will not do it of his own accord due to his oral aversion.
He gets all his daily calories via special milk through his tube so anything we get in him orally is just a bonus and hopefully one day he will eat like everyone else

For the finger foods we have been recommended by the hospital to get one of these as due to developmental problems he has problems gripping foods at times: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Safe-feeder-2-pack/dp/B0017TT0JU Has anyone used them?

 

[mommyof3co]

i have aquestion for TWers:

I hope this doesn't spark another debate coz i'm just genuinly interested in the responses..

The origins of TW started when babies were weaned much earlier. Meaning they weren't able to feed themselves and needed to b spoon fed to bipass the tongue thrust reflex...hence the fact that there r stages to the TW process going from puree to more solid and introducing finger foods around 6 months when they r better equipt to deal with more 'solid' foods. so keeping that in mind...

now that we know its safer to wait til 6 months (when babies have more eating 'skills') y do so many parents (who do wait until that point) opt for TW? i just wondered y not go 4 BLW?...it does sound like a lot of mums do a combination of BLW and TW at this point so is it not easier to cut out the purees altogether? is it because people didn't know abt BLW? or because they believe starting with puree is still needed even tho they r at the age when finger foods can b introduce 4 TWers?

like i said don't start a debate...i'm not saying its better to do BLW or anything...i'm just interested in personal view points on it

Haven't completely caught up on the thread but just going off of this. I honestly had no clue BLW existed. It's not popular here in the US so I guess that's why. With Casen he started purees at 5-5 1/2mo and at 6mo our dr suggested regular table foods and we started then so I guess we did a mix, I never fed him those, he did it on his own from 6mo. But he did have purees mixed in until 10mo then he was fully on regular food. With Hayden we started weaning at 6mo but he hated anything but breastmilk so until 9mo I would offer a couple times a week, he refused so we would wait a few days and try again, he didn't eat until 9mo. So it def was still going on what he wanted, just in a diff way. But again I didn't know anything about BLW so that's why even though I waited until an age you could start that I still did TW...it's the only way I knew there was to do it

 

[celine]

I have scanned this thread as well and came out of curiosity to see the percentage of BLW to TW etc.

tbh i think its so hard to be the perfect mummy and as long as our lo's are eating and learning to eat in whichever way then we are all doing a great job.
Afterall, if we werent such amazingly caring mummies why else would we be looking at the weaning & nutrition section?

 

[Vickie]

Can we keep this thread on track please? There's nothing wrong with a healthy debate and discussion on parenting methods. Just because one person chooses one over another because it suits their lifestyle best does not mean that that persons method is better--nor does it mean they are saying that.

There also seems to be a lot of confusion on both "sides" as to what the other weaning method really entails. Surely it can't hurt to talk about it with one another to clear up any confusion?

As for the comments that have gotten personal and out of hand yes it will be dealt with but privately! Please don't assume that because there's nothing on the thread about it that mods/admin have not taken action.

 

[faille]

I am also not saying TW is a bad thing in any way at all. But I think with TW there can be more of a danger of LOs being cajoled into eating more. I have seen a number of people on this forum and in real life trying to trick LO into opening their mouth for the spoon, doing the airplane, doing the just one more spoonful for mummy thing. And I started doing TW with Aisling, we only did BLW when she was 7 months old. I very much wanted to do BLW from the start and was advised to do purees to get her weight up. I had all the BLW theories in my head and I'd read the book. And I still one day found the phrase 'just one more spoonful' coming out of my mouth. I was sick with myself and have no idea where it came from and I was someone who was so dead set against it. I ditched the purees soon after because I was so scared of the slippery slope I had gone down without even realising it. Since doing BLW I haven't even felt tempted to get Aisling to eat more and that has set my mind at rest. I doubt that would be the case if I was still doing TW.

Obviously maybe I'm a nasty mother in the minority of those who have done TW but it shocked me that I managed to slip into that way of thinking while being so dead set against it in theory. I find it hard to believe that others avoid it completely. If people do then great, as I say I might be in the weak willed minority there.

Exactly what I've been trying to say.

I don't believe for one minute that the majority of people posting in this thread are all angels and perfect mummys and have never tried to "encourage" LO to eat "just a little bit more" - by whatever method... a simple statement, a 'game' to open their mouths, bribery for a treat afterwards etc. It's human nature to want to fill our babies up - I don't believe all these people saying "I've never forced my child to eat" have never even slightly encouraged their LO to take more. I'm the same as you hun, completely 100% agree with BLW and it's ideas and theories but I'll be the first to admit I've been tempted and made comments to Violet to try and encourage her to eat more (esp. in the early days when they really don't eat much at all, or a day where she's hardly eaten when before she'd been doing great etc.).

Btw, before anyone jumps on me, I think people are taking the word "forcing" waaaay too literally. "Forcing" is probably the wrong word and "encouraging" is better suited to everyone's situation. I don't think anyone here agrees with "forcing" babies to eat but I don't believe that everyone can and has never "encouraged" even just the littlest one more bite. It's human nature to want to stuff our LOs full of food as for some reason, we associate lots of food and being "full" as meaning being happy and healthy. It is so easy to 'encourage' LO to take more without even realising it - at least with BLW you can't actually 'go too far' (in the beginning) because LO has control over the food - obviously as they get older and understand your comments it may become an issue but hopefully they'll be eating enough to "satisfy" us by then and therefore wont be an issue anymore anyway. And once again, I am NOT putting TW down at all and yes, it IS the responsibility of the parent.... But you have to be one hell of a super mummy to NEVER EVER encourage your LO to take even the teeniest little bit more, whether you realise you're doing it or not.

And that is not an insult to anyone - if it's meant like that then I'd be insulting myself as I've clearly admitted that I often feel that way but BLW is like sitting on my hands because I know I'm not allowed to touch her food so at the moment any "encouragement" is just words that she doesn't understand.. I can quite easily see myself tempting her with 'one more spoonfull' if I was TWing though. It's like with FF, I always found myself counting oz's and being obssessed with them and trying to encourage her to take more milk. If that makes me a "sh*t" parent as someone else stated earlier then oh well, guess I am. But I can see the same problem happening with TW with me - I'd be obssessing over how much food is "right" for her age/weight etc. At least with BLW I can put my trust in her and I can't tell how much she's eaten therefore there's nothing for me to obsess over.

 

[Lisa1302]

I agree there is a huge difference between encouraging a baby and forcing something on them.

Every baby needs encouragement to learn something new. Whether that be talking about it tasting nice/smell, or its colours or actually eating the things yourself etc. This is not something that should be excluded from any weaning method.

I will admit that I have verbally said things like 'are you sure you are full or just having a rest?' and 'do you want a banana now?'.

However, I do not see myself as an angel mother...but I have never forced a spoon into her mouth or used 'aeroplane' tactics, in fact if she doesn't open her mouth before the spoon is with knocking distance then it gets taken away until she either ask for more or we finish.

 

[moomin_troll]

ive done a mix of both aswel, yes it makes a mess but thats children for u anyway and it can be easily cleaned up after.

at 8 months zane decided he didnt want me to spoon feed him but wudnt even try to use a spoon so in with his fingers he went for every meal.

now at 16 months he still wont use a sppon or fork! drivin me insane lol

this is ur choice to make so do what u feel most comfortable with x

 

[TigerLady]

Every baby needs encouragement to learn something new. .... This is not something that should be excluded from any weaning method.

Sorry, can't resist jumping back in.

Please remember this is your opinon. It is blanket statements like this that make those of us that BLW feel we need to defend our choice. When I read this, I feel it implies I am doing something wrong by not "encouraging" my baby to eat (i.e. learn something new). To me, you are implying that my choice of weaning method is inappropriate because it actively discourages encouraging baby to eat and you have stated "this is not something that shoud be exlcluded from any weaning method." E.g. You are saying that BLWing is WRONG to not include encouragement.

Besides, I disagree. I have very rarely encouraged Otter to eat. When I have it has been through spoken word that he does not understand. Yet he is a "better" eater than any other 6 month old I know. He is a better eater than my friend's 9 month old. I never had to encourage him to learn that.

Human babies are made to mimic the adults around them. THAT is how BLWing works. NOT through encouragement. That is why it is so crucial that BLWed babies eat WITH adults. You can see them watch the adults around them eat and mimic them. Thus learning to eat without active encouragement.

ETA: I don't class "encouragement" as simply eating the food yourself. That is mimicry. Not encouragement. Sorry, there is a difference.

 

[Lisa1302]

Every baby needs encouragement to learn something new. .... This is not something that should be excluded from any weaning method.

Sorry, can't resist jumping back in.

Please remember this is your opinon. It is blanket statements like this that make those of us that BLW feel we need to defend our choice. When I read this, I feel it implies I am doing something wrong by not "encouraging" my baby to eat (i.e. learn something new). To me, you are implying that my choice of weaning method is inappropriate because it actively discourages encouraging baby to eat and you have stated "this is not something that shoud be exlcluded from any weaning method." E.g. You are saying that BLWing is WRONG to not include encouragement.

Besides, I disagree. I have very rarely encouraged Otter to eat. When I have it has been through spoken word that he does not understand. Yet he is a "better" eater than any other 6 month old I know. He is a better eater than my friend's 9 month old. I never had to encourage him to learn that.

Human babies are made to mimic the adults around them. THAT is how BLWing works. NOT through encouragement. That is why it is so crucial that BLWed babies eat WITH adults. You can see them watch the adults around them eat and mimic them. Thus learning to eat without active encouragement.

ETA: I don't class "encouragement" as simply eating the food yourself. That is mimicry. Not encouragement. Sorry, there is a difference.

I am sorry you seem to have read my post wrong, I have said ''Every baby needs encouragement to learn something new. Whether that be talking about it tasting nice/smell, or its colours or actually eating the things yourself etc' Which as I have bolded in your post you say you also do.

I certainly did not say active encouragement was required, or that there was anything wrong with your method.

Although I have not read Gill's book, I have not come across any description of BLW that states a parent is to sit in silence and can not discuss the food that is being eaten? If it is something in the book then fair enough, but does not mean it applies to BLW in general, it not like that book is the law.

 

[TigerLady]

I knew I should have stayed out.

No, Lisa, I read your post correctly. I really did. That is why I tried to explain how it made me FEEL. I was simply explaining what your words (when read correctly) evoked in me. It made me defensive.

That is what I tried to explain. That is why I asked to "Please remember this is your opinion."

In fact, BLWing (even in the bible) implies you do not offer encouragement of any kind. This includes discussing color, texture, or even saying "yum yum." Specifically, you "let them get on with it." When I talk to my baby at meal times, I TALK to him. As I would any other person at the table. This may or may not include discussion about what is being eaten, but most often does not.

What you bolded in my post was a reference to my ealier post of my being human and SCREWING up with BLWing and encouraging him with spoken word such as "Come on, baby, eat some more." I specifically said that I was wrong to say those things and grateful he does not yet understand them.

All that is beside the point. My ultimate point was meant to be this:

Please, please, be careful in your choice of words. Please try to remember these are options and opinions. Yours, mine, and others. Please try to tread carefully around writing things that sound so set in stone and so criticial. THAT is what gets people riled. Very few people get riled when someone else's opinion is different. What riles them is HOW that opinion is presented. Just try be thoughtful, that's all. Try to see how your post might be taken from the other side and be gentle as you can about it. A little humility will go a long way to keeping feathers smooth.

 

[Lisa1302]

I knew I should have stayed out.

No, Lisa, I read your post correctly. I really did. That is why I tried to explain how it made me FEEL. I was simply explaining what your words (when read correctly) evoked in me. It made me defensive.

That is what I tried to explain. That is why I asked to "Please remember this is your opinion."

In fact, BLWing (even in the bible) implies you do not offer encouragement of any kind. This includes discussing color, texture, or even saying "yum yum." Specifically, you "let them get on with it." When I talk to my baby at meal times, I TALK to him. As I would any other person at the table. This may or may not include discussion about what is being eaten, but most often does not.

What you bolded in my post was a reference to my ealier post of my being human and SCREWING up with BLWing and encouraging him with spoken word such as "Come on, baby, eat some more." I specifically said that I was wrong to say those things and grateful he does not yet understand them.

All that is beside the point. My ultimate point was meant to be this:

Please, please, be careful in your choice of words. Please try to remember these are options and opinions. Yours, mine, and others. Please try to tread carefully around writing things that sound so set in stone and so criticial. THAT is what gets people riled. Very few people get riled when someone else's opinion is different. What riles them is HOW that opinion is presented. Just try be thoughtful, that's all. Try to see how your post might be taken from the other side and be gentle as you can about it. A little humility will go a long way to keeping feathers smooth.

I apologise if this is the way you feel my post read.

Without reading the Gill Rapley book it would seem impossible to know that this is the case - with it not being mentioned on the BLW guides I have read online (I have read lots) and the fact that the many videos of babies eating apparently BLW style includes the mother talking about what they eating and if its nice etc...clearly they are not doing it correctly and are misrepresenting the method.

 

[golcarlilly]

In fact, BLWing (even in the bible) implies you do not offer encouragement of any kind. This includes discussing color, texture, or even saying "yum yum." Specifically, you "let them get on with it." When I talk to my baby at meal times, I TALK to him. As I would any other person at the table. This may or may not include discussion about what is being eaten, but most often does not.

.

At every meal I have ever eaten in company someone has made some comment about either the flavour or look of the food or expressed their personal opinion on it! I don't think it is giving the baby a good impression of the social aspect of eating if the whole focus of the meal ie: the food is ignored in this fashion and i can't understand why the author would suggest that was the right thing to do?

 

[WannaB]

Wow interesting post! I have no idea what I did with my babies now! My first was born 16 years ago, I did breast feeding and she weaned herself off that at about 18 months, thank goodness, she had learnt to undo buttons and it was a bit embarassing when out in public getting your top lifted or your buttons ripped open! She also suffered from really bad reflux from a young age so I gave rice ceral quite early to help with that. I was never one to feed them if they didnt want it, never did the aeroplane thing! Either she opened her mouth and leaned forward to eat it or I didnt bother, I knew I had a booby backup she wouldnt knock back! I choose what she tried for the most part, except when she could sit up in the shopping trolley, the fruit and vegie section wasnt safe from her little hands, her favourite was mushrooms of all things and to my horror she was forever pinching them when we went to the supermarket! I made sure she tried every conceivable fruit and veg I could get my hands on, she either liked them or didnt. Her meals were for the most part just finley chopped up versions of whatever we were having and fingers where the weapons of choice, half may have ended up in her mouth, the rest divided between the floor and her hair. She picked up using a fork by herself, it was there and she pretty much figured it out by watching what we did. My second was pretty much the same, I didnt feed her mush earlier on and she didnt have the reflux thank goodness, weaned herself off the breast at 12 months which made me kinda sad, go figure. She wasnt as in tune with using the ole fork as my eldest, even to this date, shes nearly 12, she still prefers fingers much to her mothers disgust! I never read a book, I didnt even know there was books out there on it to the extent of what has been said in this thread, I just fed them both by my motherly instincts I guess. Im currently ttc number 3 with a different hubby, at the ripe old age of 41, and I will just do the same I guess as I did with the other two. They are both extremley bright young ladies at the top of their classes so I wont mess with whatever I did right in my own clumsy way. I have no idea what catagory I fit into, at the end of the day as long as my baby is healthy and happy I will do whatever I have to do to get through it all. Things sure have change in 16 years thats for sure, maybe Im in for a rude shock! Well done mums whatever way you go, its obvious you all care about your LO's deeply and thats the main thing in life!

 

[purple_socks]

At every meal I have ever eaten in company someone has made some comment about either the flavour or look of the food or expressed their personal opinion on it! I don't think it is giving the baby a good impression of the social aspect of eating if the whole focus of the meal ie: the food is ignored in this fashion and i can't understand why the author would suggest that was the right thing to do?

the food, or the fact ur having it, doesn't have to b ignored (this is my interpretation of the book anyway...feel free other BLWers to step in if u interpreted it differently )

You draw no attention to the child eating. You don't praise, clap ur hands or get excited that they r eating (in the same way that u show no negitive reaction to eating). You simple act like u would if u were eating with any adult. The idea is not to reward or punish children 4 eating/ not eating certain foods. With BLW children r encouraged to eat because they r hungry, stop when they r full and choose the foods their bodies need...being in touch with the signals ur body send abt these things get swayed if u turn food into a treat or a punishment.

ever wondered y u have the urge to eat certain things when u feel sad/r in certain situations? Tis an association with food...ever had a hard day at work and reward yourself with a 'treat'? U think of that food as a treat because someone planted that seed by talking abt certain food in a certain way/behaving in a certain way abt food.

there was a study done (i'm a bit sketchy on details coz i studied it at uni yonks ago..): two made up foods where talked abt to children, called whart and whurt (or something like that...totally made up). children were told they would be allowed to try some whart as long as they ate all their whurt up. none of the children saw any of these (made up) foods or where given any info abt them...all that was said was that sentance. then later on the children were asked which they would prefer to have if they could choose just one. They all chose the whart! because that food had become the 'treat' and the whurt had become the means to get to that treat therefore, to these children whurt had become a chore/something not as good as the treat...interesting eh?

doing BLW correctly (by the book as it were) deals these psychological relationships with food. That is y there r no 'banned' foods and no making meals that r different to what ur having...obviously its not very healthy to offer ur children some of ur take away kebab for sinner but the idea is that u should b eating a healthy diet too so that u can eat with ur child rather than having different meals.

BTW clearly i didn't really leave the thread did i?

 

[JayleighAnn]

obviously its not very healthy to offer ur children some of ur take away kebab for sinner but the idea is that u should b eating a healthy diet too so that u can eat with ur child rather than having different meals.

We had one thursday night I know it's naughty but I couldn't help myself lol Halen had some celery, rice cakes and oat cakes dipped in yogurt and he was non the wiser lol I think it's ok every once in a while to have something different until your child is big enough to notice lol

As for not mentioning food, we're doing baby signing so when I give Halen his dinner I say "Do you want some food?" and do the action for food, then when he's finished I ask him "do you want some more?" and do the signal for more, I also talk to him about what he's having, like "are you having banana" so he knows what the food is, I'm not sure if thats more than what the bible means to do, but I do it anyway lol