TTC #1 AL Buddies 2016 Newcomers Welcome

[lesondemavie]

Bee - I agree it so awesome that you got such a clean bill of health after your ectopic! Hope your upcoming appointments/procedures go well!

ND - So sorry you're sick, but the time off is definitely needed! I just finally stopped spotting today now just a day shy of 2 weeks after taking misoprostol. It is a relief to be done with it.

My ultrasound went well today, good lining, great ovaries - such good news. Just sad that my ob wants me to wait until mid-March to start trying again. I was hoping we could at least ntnp this month, but she said to use protection until my next regular af.

 

[NDurham12]

Hi Les,

Very good you've stopped. I'm hoping I don't have to take the shot for the exact reason. I know not to rush things cause ttc is anything but fast, but there are so many rules with that shot. I want to stay on my egg health regime, which is started back on on Monday.

Very glad your us went well. Are they still tracking your hcg?

Bee, good luck and come back and tell us all that happened. ... well if you want too

 

[lesondemavie]

They never tested my hcg. The MMC was found on my 8 week ultrasound, I took the medicine that night bc I couldn't stand the thought of just waiting 1-2 weeks for it to happen and then possibly still needing the medicine or the d&c anyway (that would have delayed things even further), and then they just had me come back in today for a really thorough ultrasound to check everything out and make sure that everything cleared. I'll poas every week or so to make sure it's completely negative before we try again. A false positive would just break my heart at this point.

 

[beemeck]

ND - what is going on now? did you start bleeding on your own or do they still want to schedule a d and c? thinking about you!

les - that is so great that they followed up with an US and that everything is looking great. Although I've been looked after a few different ways since the loss, I guess it's kind of strange that they never did do an US. Prob because I had and d and c on top of having my numbers blood tested out to zero, but they could have at least seen how everything was looking Hopefully this month goes fast for you. I had to take 3 months off and it felt like FOREVER.

I will def update on the HSG test! I have some time to go still.... I can't call and schedule until AF arrives. Really don't have any hope for this cycle anymore - not sure why. Maybe it is just because I'm looking forward to getting answers so much that that is where my focus is. My HSG follow up is scheduled already because it takes longer to get in there so that will be March 8. The HSG should be the week before!

 

[lesondemavie]

Bee - I thought I remembered that you had to wait quite a while. I'm sure I'll look back and it will seem like nothing in the grand scheme. Just hard to swallow for now. A week before your follow up! Man, I was annoyed that I had to wait an hour between my ultrasound and my followup. So many waits, right? You never know this could be the cycle and then none of that will matter!

 

[beemeck]

right?! sorry to say that it probably will feel like forever even though I hope it doesn't. I remember feeling wildly impatient even after a month in. I finally found some women with similar stories (other ectopics) and the advice they were given was 3 months OR 2 full cycles, which typically takes 3 months to go back to normal like that. But I was back on track immediately so we ended up doing the full 2 cycles which by the time I O'ed was almost the 3 months anyway, but we cut it a litttttttle short lol

everything becomes a waiting game. even plain old TTC. I think that's what I've hated about this journey the most - the constant wishing the time away. Rushing the 2 weeks until O time. Rushing the next 2 for testing time. then starting the whole cycle over again. And now a years gone by and I feel like I wished it all away. sigh. Can't wait til this all feels so far away because we are occupied with our pregnancies and babies....

 

[lesondemavie]

That time will come bee

It's funny that I'm now sitting here wishing for the predictability of ttc, when that whole time I just ached for a BFP. I even missed it a bit when the fear crept in while pg and waiting for my first scan. As hard as it was to see a bfn any month, the repetitive routine of it all became comforting. As much as I want it, I'm dreading the waves of fear that will come once I see those two beautiful lines again. I wonder if it'll be easier or harder. On one hand, I've been through it now and know I'll be ok. On the other hand, two losses in a row would be so hard. *sigh* guess there's only one way to find out.

ND - hope all is well with you ❤️

 

[NDurham12]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I took the weekend off and just did nothing. Monday, another beta test another disappointment. Dr can't delay the d&c any longer, going in on Friday. Totally stressed and so is the hubby. More waiting....

Waiting....waiting....waiting... ugh.
You're so right Bee, so easy to get lost in the cycle of ttc and now the process of going through all this. Guys have it soooo easy.

Les, you're also right about the next bfp. When do we allow ourselves to even get excited about it?

 

[lesondemavie]

ND - So sorry that it looks like you'll need the d&c. Are they going to do an ultrasound at all or just betas?

If we get another BFP, I'm going to try my hardest to just celebrate every day. Someone very wise once reminded me that worry won't change a thing (thanks bee!)

 

[beemeck]

aw thanks les lol you are so sweet to sneak that in there

nd - I had a d and c and would be happy to answer any questions you have! I know it's not ideal, but I thought it had it's pros and cons. I hemorrhaged and was taken into emergency surgery where a d and c was performed, so I had no time or knowledge to look into it prior. But I think I was glad in a way that I had one done because of the fear I then had of hemorrhaging again (I had a rare ectopic so don't worry about this happening to you!). I know that with a d and c, they really clean everything out so I felt better after my experience knowing that I wouldn't hemorrhage again. My aunt hemorrhaged after giving birth to her son because they had left some afterbirth in her. I guess any time there is anything left over in the uterus, the attempt to clean it out could end up in hemorrhaging so for me, that was the pro. They still traced by betas to zero afterward to make sure. please let me know if you have any questions! I'm sorry that it had to end up like that.

 

[lesondemavie]

ND: I too hear that is a big advantage of the d&c. After cytotec, I had to actually deal with seeing my little baby in the folds of toilet paper when I wiped, and then the umbilical cord the next morning. For me, it was actually peaceful and brought on some sense of closure, but I hear for many it can be quite traumatic. With the d&c, you won't have to go through that, and you won't have to let time drag on wondering if there's anything that will cause problems later. Hope all goes well

 

[NDurham12]

Hi Les and Bee,

Sorry for the delayed posts. Learning myself through all of this tells me I take about 2 days to process things.

So, my doc wanted to do the d&c and I wanted a laparoscopy. She agreed given the pain on my left side. So Friday my preop bloodwork showed my hcg increasing to something like 450, up 100 from Monday. I freaked. ... immediately knowing that was not good and it was highly likely to be ectopic. 5:12 pm the clock read as the anaesthesiologist was telling me to breathe deeply to knock me out. 8 pm, the nurses are calling my name to wake me up in recovery. Doc has already given the bad news to the dh....ectopic in the right tube, near rupture, un repairable.

I've been healing nicely and should be fully mobile by Wednesday. While distraught from the loss of my tube, I am happy to be alive, still full of hope and look forward to trying again.

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh ND I'm so very sorry . I'm glad you're ok and that DH was there with you. Take care, heal up, and hang on to that hope

 

[lesondemavie]

Bee - Thinking of you! Hope everything for your appointments works out!

 

[beemeck]

wow ND!!! what an update. I'm shocked, really. I can't believe they didn't see that and good on you for knowing that something just wasn't right. I'm glad that you are okay and recovering. sending you so, so many big hugs and please let me know if you need anything. Although my situation was different, it's similar and I'm around to chat anytime you need. wishing you a speedy recovery.

les - thanks for thinking of me. how are YOU? I'm hoping AF is just around the corner for you (I think that's the first time I typed that on this site )

I had my HSG done yesterday and all is clear. I guess I'm running out of ideas as to what's going on (which is probably for the better that I stop self diagnosing). If dye could get into my uterus and tubes, then surely the sperm can. and nothing was abnormal about the shape of my uterus that would have prevented implantation the first time. of course there are still more invasive tests that can be done, but as of now- unexplained. sigh. the next step will be an SA for DH which they are just doing to cover their bases...they don't think there is really a need since we got pregnant on the first try.

follow up appt with obgyn is on Tuesday. hoping they release for to the fertility clinic then because this hopeful mama is getting impatient!

 

[lesondemavie]

Haha I know it's surreal to now be sitting here actually hoping for AF. I think I'm ok now if I get another week before I'm on to the next cycle.

Today was a really tough day for me. I couldn't stop crying. I realized how very much I miss being pregnant, but not just being pregnant...I miss being pregnant with my gremlin. I feel so silly confronting these feelings, wishing for something that just can never happen. I need to work through this madness before we start trying again. The last thing I want is to be pregnant, but mad or sad that I'm not pregnant with the right baby.

ND - I hope you're up and about, but also taking it easy. Lots of hugs your way.

 

[mrs unicorn]

Hi ladies, can I join you? I know leson from the TTC, bfp and now sadly the mc boards. But hello bee and ND!

I had a MMC at 10 weeks (empty sac measuring 8 weeks) and an ERPC (at 11+2) 2 days ago. It's been such a heartbreaking couple of weeks and although the physical side is almost over, I know the emotional ride is going to be tough. Having ladies to chat to who understand what you are going through is so important. I'm glad I found this thread, as leson said, you don't know quite where you fit in! We'll be waiting for af to make an appearance in 4-6weeks before we start TTC again. I can already feel the super impatient me beginning to surface....

 

[lesondemavie]

Of course you can join here MrsU! Just a small group so far, and only bee is in ttc mode in this moment...but we'll all be back there when we're ready.

Bee - I'm sure it is a mix to have everything check out but still not know why it's taking so long. My SIL and her husband tried for over a year. They went through all the tests and everything checked out. She's now very pregnant and expecting her little boy in July. You just never know.

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm officially back to ttc! AF arrived today 4+3 days post MC. It's a few days later than I had hoped, but definitely still in early March NOT mid-March. I knew my ob was wrong. Goes to show you that in some ways we know our own bodies better than the docs.

ND sending hugs your way

Bee - Hope you're close to enjoying O time!

MrsU - The wait is tough...I'm not going to lie. You saw me struggle with it. I can't even describe how happy I am right now. Not as happy as I was to be pg, but still so glad it's over. I was bracing myself to wait another 1-2 weeks, so to see AF today is such a relief.

 

[mrs unicorn]

Yey!! Leson I am so so happy for you! (I'll prob never say that about af on this site again!) and you're not much later, I know you have short cycles though. Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be celebrating the return of my af too! X