TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[HappyAuntie]

I'm so sorry to post about just myself right now, especially since we've been talking about heavier, more serious issues on the board over the last couple days, but I've been temping & my temperature just dropped below the baseline again this cycle. It went up a day after my IUI, but now has fallen. I know temps stay elevated b/c of progesterone when you are pregnant so this must mean my IUI was a bust. I have an appt to check my progesterone on Fri, but won't that be too late? I just feel gutted this morning. This TTC rollercoaster is so cruel. After I ovulate I only have a few precious days when I feel hopeful & then I come crashing down while I wait for my period. I have no insurance, can't afford IVF, & a diagnosis of deceased ovarian reserve so not much time left. I am surrounded by mothers walking around with their baby strollers in my neighborhood. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this!

First of all, . Never apologize for posting about yourself and ttc here - that is why we're all here. The other conversations just help us get to know each other better in between OPKs and HPTs.

I know nothing about temping, so I can't offer any specific help. But yes, if you're concerned, call your clinic. Your nurse should be able to answer any questions about temping that you have. I understand that even slight changes in how you slept last night can affect your temp, so there could be another explanation behind a dip. And your clinic should also be able to check your progesterone any time you want them to.

TTC is incredibly hard, but you're not alone.

 

[lavalux]

Thanks, ladies, for the encouragement. I just left a VM for my nurse to see if I can get in for my progesterone test early. I will ask about the DHEA and research it a bit more, but if it will help and not hurt, I'm game to try anything to buy myself more time.

Missyt,
That is great news about the sperm count! I'm keeping everything Xed for you! I am about where you are ... if this cycle doesn't work out, I will likely do one more IUI in June, but then stop all the OPKs, temping, etc. over the Summer and try to relax and enjoy myself. I want to have a glass of wine or a margarita. Go to the beach. I've felt so bloated lately that I really want to try to lose a few pounds through exercise. Right now, I've just been doing yoga and walking around the neighborhood, but I want to add in aerobics & weights too. Most importantly, I feel like half of my conversation with DH is about TTCing and it's driving him a little nuts I can tell.

Lots of love to everyone. Luvie, FM, Ginger, HA, Skye, LynnB, Carole, Never, Dwgri, Twinkle, Onmymind, Baby4MJ, Butterfly & all the other newbies!

 

[lavalux]

HA,
Did I read that right that the old hag got you? I'm sorry, hun! I just hate it for all of us when AF shows her ugly mug! Periods suck anyway without having the disappointment thrown in! Are you still on a break from meds/treatment until later this Summer?

Jocr,
Missed you on my shout out!!!

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA,
Did I read that right that the old hag got you? I'm sorry, hun! I just hate it for all of us when AF shows her ugly mug! Periods suck anyway without having the disappointment thrown in! Are you still on a break from meds/treatment until later this Summer?

Yeah she did, but for the first time in two years I really didn't care. I knew I she would come because we had deliberately avoided sex during my fertile window, I just didn't know when she would come because I hadn't used OPKs or even checked my calendar at all. It was pretty amazing (and incredibly healing) to not be upset about it.

We decided to take one more month off. We'll start back on meds/IUI in late June, whenever AF comes (no OPKs or anything again this month!). In trying to decide whether to go at it this month or take one more month off, my counselor gave me some great advice. She said I had to weigh which decision felt worse - waiting one more month, or the possibility of a BFN - and there's my answer. DH and I decided that it was better to wait one more month (to give me a full month on the wellbutrin) before facing the possibility of a BFN.

As for my concerns over waiting (this month makes it a 3-month break), I have been thoroughly reassured by my clinic and my counselor (who used to be an IVF nurse before going back to school for counseling, and now specializes in infertility counseling) that it's ok. Everyone advises me not to take a year off, but three months is ok - apparently the line is somewhere in between! So I am choosing to believe them and not worry about it. And my counselor said one of her jobs is making sure we address that decision every month so that we don't let indecision become our decision, so we don't just slide into stopping ttc altogether without really examining it. So I know she'll keep us on track.

The other fantastic thing my counselor did was advise me not only to put away the OPKs but even encourage us to use condoms during the break. It's totally counterintuitive, but without them there is NO WAY to turn off that tiny part of the brain that is going to hold out the tiniest bit of hope that maybe this month is the month it works - and as long as that tiny bit of hope is there, the anticipation and then the disappointment will also be there. The only way to really and truly give yourself a break is to quiet that part of the brain by removing the possibility of pregnancy. And she was completely right. (Except that I hate using condoms - that's one thing ttc has taught me! So we just avoided sex for about 10 days in the middle of my cycle instead.)

 

[onmymind17]

Ma - So glad you've had your cerclage at last, why the hell can't Drs listen to their patients!! Sending positive thoughts to you & Amelia

Caroleb73 - Hope the stimming goes well & you have good size eggs

Baby4MJ - Sorry AF arrived, have a margarita for me.

Missyt - Fx'd this IUI works

Gingerbread - Sorry AF showed, but I'm sure your time will come

Prayingtogod - So glad your back

Onmymind17 - How is your shoulder?

FM - Good luck this cycle. Sounds like your DH is such as caring man, so glad he's not giving up so don't you give up.

Deb - How was your appointment? I was thinking of you

Skye - No I haven't announced it yet, only my mum, dh's mum & my sister know & it's going to stay that way until after I come back from my holiday, I'll be 14 weeks then. How are you feeling, how did the scan go yesterday & have you told anyone yet?

Jocr - Glad your feeling better after lap, hoping that you get BFP in the next 4 months & wont need IVF.

mpepe32 - Welcome back.

mjbutterflies - Hi & welcome.

Lava - Fx'd crossed for you this cycle.

Nikki - Did you get +OPK?

Luvmydoggies - So sorry the witch got you

Dwrgi - Good luck with

Neversaynever - So glad you got smiley face, now get on with

HA -Sorry AF showed but so glad you meds are working & that you're feeling better So with you on cleaning to mums standards, hope you have a good time with your parents, how long are they visiting for?

Twinkle -

Sorry if I missed anyone.

AFM - I had a great long weekend away the DH in Devon, it was so relaxing & just what I needed. No more spotting & have gotten further with this pregnancy than I did with the last one so just need to get past 9+4 which is when I mc'd the first time & I'll feel much better.

Sending you all & , & hoping for more BFPs soon

My shoulder is still sore but improving, thanks so much for asking. I am going tonight for accupuncture for fertility, i actually thought about cancelling it, i am trying to just put all that behind me for a bit, but thought well what the heck, maybe it will help my shoulder at least lol. Sending you all kinds of sticky dust!! This one is going to be just fine, i know it!!

 

[onmymind17]

Thank you!!! all for your support. It's really nice to know that I can tell you girls anything and you open your hearts to me.

I didn't really get to explain my struggle with depression properly last night. I have been dealing with depression since I was 14. It got worse in my 20's. I was put on antidepressants at around 24 years old. I had been on and off meds till I was 30. From age 24-30 my weight just kept going up. And as silly as this sounds, I didn't see it. I made excuses why pants stopped fitting me...like they shrunk in the dryer, scale must be off etc. Met my dh when I was 27...was not on any meds at the time. We got married when I turned 30. In my first year of marriage, I was diagnosed with my mental illness. Bipolar/manic depressive. Before that, I had dealt with my Mom's bipolar. I almost lost her a few times...to attempted suicides. I, like Lava had to call the police and have my Mom taken by them to be evaluated at a mental hospital. I was only 22. Dealing with her illness, I never focused on myself. Little did my Mom and I know that this illness is hereditary. When I got diagnosed the roles reversed and she was taking care of me while my husband was shutting down, thinking he had lost his new wife to this beast of an illness. At that time, he contemplating leaving me. It took me two years to get the right medication combo correct. My Mom and I have been in remission for several years. As for hubby, he still shuts down sometimes but has come to terms with the illness. I suppose that's why we put of trying for a baby. Honestly, I wouldn't have been able to do it back then, I was sooo sick.

Skye..thank you for being so supportive! You are so sweet and meant to tell you also..you and your hubby-gorgeous! I love what you said about the practices in Turkey. Pretty amazing. I also read posts from way back and saw that you can interpret dreams. Can you tell me about when and what you tell the running water? If you don't mind.

Dwrgi...You are so sweet and caring! Thank you for all your kind words.

Missy- I hope your IUI went well. I'm thinking really good thoughts for you.

FM-I also hope your IUI went well and you and Missy can get your bfp's.

Lava- I also hope your IUI went well and wish you a bfp.

Dwrgi- Sorry, I know your hubby's numbers were much better. Did you do an IUI as well, if so I wish you a bfp also.


Twinkle- You are NOT pitiful at ALL. I would have been balling my eyes out, if dh said that to me. I'm very sensitive. I like to think of my LO's in my future.

Hi Lava, Never,Lynnb,Ginger,MA, Happy Auntie, jocr,Onmymind17,baby4mj and anyone else I missed. Sending lot's of

Lastly, The biatch, I mean witch got me today! On to another cycle.

I am so sorry that you and your mom have to struggle with that disease, i was at one point in my 20's suicidal, i really did not care if i lived or died, i have since gotten myself out of those horrible times, for the most part now i am very happy and upbeat, but every once in a while it creeps back. Mine is not near as bad as what you have to deal with, for me its mostly when stress builds up a lot, and the sun is not out, i know that probably sounds silly, but really if i dont see the sun for a long time i get very tired and depressed. I wish you well, and pray that you and your mom live happy and very healthy lives.

 

[Butterfly67]

Just wanted to say big hugs to everyone - everyone has their own struggles and you are all so strong that you amaze me - I'm not good at remembering names, I remember the pictures more but to everyone who has posted and

AFM I'm flying back to the UK tonight (ash permitting) and looking forward to the end of the TWW!
xx

 

[onmymind17]

You ladies have me wondering about my insurance coverage now.... All I know is that I have a lifetime limit of 6 IUIs (I know I have IVF coverage but don't know that limit.) But my follistim and ovidrel are covered under my medical coverage, not my prescription coverage, and it never occurred to me that I might have a lifetime $$ limit on my fertility drugs. I'm going to have to look that up so we can make better informed decisions from now on... I mean, if we're even open to the idea of IVF, we might need to move to it sooner rather than later to stay under that cap. Right now we're thinking we'll give IUI 4 tries (we've done two so far) and then reevaluate. There's just so much to consider....

My insurance says i have a lifetime of 6 IVF's, but then they say you only have 10K in insurance, well i was watching how much i had, i never realized that they had a seperate limit on meds, until one time i did an IUI and ran out!! I would definatly check your insurance, if i could go back i would have skipped the IUI's and gone for the IVF. I also did not know that with my insurance, they pay a certain price to "In Network" doctors, so where IVF would have cost 10K if i paid, the insurance will only pay them 2K for the procedure, and i would only have had to pay $200 or 10% and only that 2K would have come off of my 10K i was allowed. If i would have known that before i could have done several IVF cycles rather than a bunch of IUI cycles. Just something for you to consider too.

 

[Baby4MJ]

My shoulder is still sore but improving, thanks so much for asking. I am going tonight for accupuncture for fertility, i actually thought about cancelling it, i am trying to just put all that behind me for a bit, but thought well what the heck, maybe it will help my shoulder at least lol. Sending you all kinds of sticky dust!! This one is going to be just fine, i know it!!

Don't skip acupuncture! I have been having horrible stomach pains for about a week...couldn't eat so much as a handful of raisins or drink a glass of water without feeling sick. I had a fertility acupuncture appointment last night after work and I almost canceled because I was feeling soooooo ill. But I hung on through the rest of the afternoon, and when I got to my appointment I told my acupuncturist about my tummy problems. He said he was going to focus on treating me for that instead of fertility that day because nothing else will work if I can't eat anything. After an hour, I was feeling a bit better, and then by this morning I was back to normal (well, as normal as I can be anyway ...LOL). I even had eggs for breakfast and I'm hungry for lunch for the 1st time in a week. So I bet you if you tell your acupuncturist about your shoulder, you'll be feeling better.

 

[onmymind17]

I'm so sorry to post about just myself right now, especially since we've been talking about heavier, more serious issues on the board over the last couple days, but I've been temping & my temperature just dropped below the baseline again this cycle. It went up a day after my IUI, but now has fallen. I know temps stay elevated b/c of progesterone when you are pregnant so this must mean my IUI was a bust. I have an appt to check my progesterone on Fri, but won't that be too late? I just feel gutted this morning. This TTC rollercoaster is so cruel. After I ovulate I only have a few precious days when I feel hopeful & then I come crashing down while I wait for my period. I have no insurance, can't afford IVF, & a diagnosis of deceased ovarian reserve so not much time left. I am surrounded by mothers walking around with their baby strollers in my neighborhood. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this!

We are all here for you, but please dont give up hope, how many dpo are you right now? I used to temp, and whenver i did my IUI's the temps were nuts, thats becasue the meds make them all wonky. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE!!! None of us are, and i tell you the one time i was so certain that the IUI did not work, i got a bfp a week later. If they are doing the progesterone test on friday, my guess is you probably just O'd and yes your temp will drop right when you O, the progesterone does not start making your temps go up until after you O, thats when the progesterone takes over. I am sending you allllllll kinds of

 

[onmymind17]

My shoulder is still sore but improving, thanks so much for asking. I am going tonight for accupuncture for fertility, i actually thought about cancelling it, i am trying to just put all that behind me for a bit, but thought well what the heck, maybe it will help my shoulder at least lol. Sending you all kinds of sticky dust!! This one is going to be just fine, i know it!!

Don't skip acupuncture! I have been having horrible stomach pains for about a week...couldn't eat so much as a handful of raisins or drink a glass of water without feeling sick. I had a fertility acupuncture appointment last night after work and I almost canceled because I was feeling soooooo ill. But I hung on through the rest of the afternoon, and when I got to my appointment I told my acupuncturist about my tummy problems. He said he was going to focus on treating me for that instead of fertility that day because nothing else will work if I can't eat anything. After an hour, I was feeling a bit better, and then by this morning I was back to normal (well, as normal as I can be anyway ...LOL). I even had eggs for breakfast and I'm hungry for lunch for the 1st time in a week. So I bet you if you tell your acupuncturist about your shoulder, you'll be feeling better.

No i will definatly go, more for my shoulder than fertility, i am really in need of getting my shoulder fixed, i am not sleeping well because i keep waking up in pain, so yep off to the accupuncture guy today. I am glad your feeling so much better, and yummmm eggs sound so good right now lol.

 

[HappyAuntie]

You ladies have me wondering about my insurance coverage now.... All I know is that I have a lifetime limit of 6 IUIs (I know I have IVF coverage but don't know that limit.) But my follistim and ovidrel are covered under my medical coverage, not my prescription coverage, and it never occurred to me that I might have a lifetime $$ limit on my fertility drugs. I'm going to have to look that up so we can make better informed decisions from now on... I mean, if we're even open to the idea of IVF, we might need to move to it sooner rather than later to stay under that cap. Right now we're thinking we'll give IUI 4 tries (we've done two so far) and then reevaluate. There's just so much to consider....

My insurance says i have a lifetime of 6 IVF's, but then they say you only have 10K in insurance, well i was watching how much i had, i never realized that they had a seperate limit on meds, until one time i did an IUI and ran out!! I would definatly check your insurance, if i could go back i would have skipped the IUI's and gone for the IVF. I also did not know that with my insurance, they pay a certain price to "In Network" doctors, so where IVF would have cost 10K if i paid, the insurance will only pay them 2K for the procedure, and i would only have had to pay $200 or 10% and only that 2K would have come off of my 10K i was allowed. If i would have known that before i could have done several IVF cycles rather than a bunch of IUI cycles. Just something for you to consider too.

Thanks for the tips. I will definitely call and talk to someone about any dollar limits that might apply in addition to the cycle limits I have. And it's funny we're talking about this now - I just got a letter in today's mail that they're now requiring precertification for injectables - just one more hoop for me to jump through each month. I truly am grateful to have any insurance coverage for this at all, but it certainly complicates and adds a layer of hassle to the whole process.

 

[onmymind17]

You ladies have me wondering about my insurance coverage now.... All I know is that I have a lifetime limit of 6 IUIs (I know I have IVF coverage but don't know that limit.) But my follistim and ovidrel are covered under my medical coverage, not my prescription coverage, and it never occurred to me that I might have a lifetime $$ limit on my fertility drugs. I'm going to have to look that up so we can make better informed decisions from now on... I mean, if we're even open to the idea of IVF, we might need to move to it sooner rather than later to stay under that cap. Right now we're thinking we'll give IUI 4 tries (we've done two so far) and then reevaluate. There's just so much to consider....

My insurance says i have a lifetime of 6 IVF's, but then they say you only have 10K in insurance, well i was watching how much i had, i never realized that they had a seperate limit on meds, until one time i did an IUI and ran out!! I would definatly check your insurance, if i could go back i would have skipped the IUI's and gone for the IVF. I also did not know that with my insurance, they pay a certain price to "In Network" doctors, so where IVF would have cost 10K if i paid, the insurance will only pay them 2K for the procedure, and i would only have had to pay $200 or 10% and only that 2K would have come off of my 10K i was allowed. If i would have known that before i could have done several IVF cycles rather than a bunch of IUI cycles. Just something for you to consider too.

Thanks for the tips. I will definitely call and talk to someone about any dollar limits that might apply in addition to the cycle limits I have. And it's funny we're talking about this now - I just got a letter in today's mail that they're now requiring precertification for injectables - just one more hoop for me to jump through each month. I truly am grateful to have any insurance coverage for this at all, but it certainly complicates and adds a layer of hassle to the whole process.

Ugh, i so hate the hassles of trying to do this, as if infertility is not bad enough they make you feel like your doing something wrong by trying to have a child. It frustrates me that this is not covered completly, i mean everybody deserves to have a chance at having a child, and yet we pay for all these women who pop one out left and right and are on welfare Good luck, i hope you find out all the information you need, and that everything works out for you guys.

 

[luvmydoggies]

Thank you for all the love & support all of you have shown me. It means so much! I know that one day like Skye said…we will all be holding a baby in our arms.

SKYE- I’m so sorry to hear about your cousin. It is a very tough illness to diagnose and treat. Medications have come a long way, but many of them still have severe side effects. Finding the right combination is another frustrating part of dealing with the illness. What one combination works for one person, doesn’t mean it works for another. It is such a delicate balance. I’m glad that your cousin has the love and support of you and your family. My meds still have to be tweaked here and there to keep the illness manageable for me. I am also very sensitive to the subject of mental illness. I am very lucky that dh and I were able to work through it. We were also able to build a strong bond because of it. Thank you for telling me about the water and dreams. I have not had a good dream yet but now I know what to do when I have one! About your question if a child can have bipolar at a young age? I’m not sure. My dr. did tell me that it can be caused by a child experiencing a traumatic event. Then it can manifest itself as a young adult, usually in their early 20’s. xxxx

DWRGI- Your hug you sent me did make me feel better! I’m also sending hugs your way! Yes, it is sad that so many drs. mis diagnosed me for so long. I’m very luck though, my Mom and I have an excellent dr. who has just been so caring. Not only is he a psychiatrist but he also does counseling. Which is a rare find. You can tell him a few sentences about how your feeling and he gets it right away. We have been his patients for 6 years.
You deserve a bfp too!!! You are always so sweet and comforting. You know just what to say. Glad you and your dh dtd. You made me smile about not concentrating on the spermies finding the egg. Nothing is ever tmi for me. Praying that they find their way and you get your bfp. xxxx

LAVA- Please don’t give up! I agree with the other ladies- you are still in. I’m glad you put a call in to your clinic. I’m praying that you get your bfp. I’m in the same boat over here. Lot’s of pregnant women with baby strollers. Or pregnant women holding their little toddlers hand. I live in a very family oriented residential area. I understand how hard it is to see. My heart breaks because I wish I could be one of them, pregnant and holding a LO’s hand, going to the park.

FM-Glad you are in a better place today! Am thinking positive thoughts for you!

Missy-You are def. my soul sister!! Everything you wrote to me was so uplifting. I also wish there was some way to change biology and science. I also wish there was more financial support through insurance for couples facing fertility issues. Great news about your dh’s count! I’m thinking positive thoughts for you and pray you get your bfp!!!

ONMYMIND17-I’m sorry to hear about you being so depressed in your 20’s and what you considered doing to yourself. About the sun- it’s not silly at all! If I don’t get my sun for a while, I start feeling yucky. My dr. always tells me that when it is out, to go outside without sunglasses and look towards the sun (not directly at it) for about 10-15 min. a day. It really makes a huge difference. When there is no sun at all, for example the winter months you might want to consider getting a light box. It helps a lot.

Hello to everyone else! Hope you all have a great day!
I put a pic up of dh and I...this was taken last year at Octoberfest in Big Bear!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Ladies in the US - a bill has been introduced in the senate that would create a tax credit for the out-of-pocket costs incurred for medical treatment of infertility.

Here's a link to a FAQ about the bill and what you can do to show your support. Most importantly, please take two minutes to write your senators and ask them to support the bill. The FAQ provides a direct link to do so - it takes you to a form letter with space for personalization (add a paragraph to say why it's important to YOU - that part is crucial to the letter-writing process) and even determines who your senators are and then emails it to them. It's super easy - it really does all the work for you. I was able email both of my senators in less than two minutes. I also printed a copy of both letters and snail-mailed them to my senators as well.

Please consider taking two minutes to urge your senators to support this bill. Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples - over 7 million people in the US. If our senators receive 7 million emails about this bill, they won't be able to ignore it!

Ok, stepping off my soapbox. Thanks.

 

[lavalux]

Luvy,
What a great picture of you & your hubbie! I love all the pics. I already feel close to you girls, but it's fun to put a face with the name & story. Sounds like you have a great support system with your DH, mom, doctor, etc. With love, support, and meds, one can overcome nearly anything. I agree that a diabetic would take medicine to control blood sugar ... why not meds to balance out our hormones & brain chemistry. I've never felt its anything to be ashamed of. I wish we could eliminate the stigma of mental health & infertility completely. Living better through science (and that included psychiatry) is my motto!

AFM, I talked to my nurse who moved up my appt to test my progesterone. I will test Thursday morning & they will give me a prescription if I need it. She consulted with my doctor who said that on a mediated treatment cycle, temping is worthless & will only stress me out needlessly. He recommend I refrain from temping & if we need to continue fertility treatments next month, he suggested using my opks only during the short window of time following my mid-cycle check & the IUI. This will help cut down all my worrying. He said there is no reason right now not to believe I could be pg. I am relieved, but I've got to do better coping with this stress. More yoga breaths I guess.

 

[missyt]

Luvvie, great picture! So good to finally see what you look like! I love that we all put pics up of each other when we know we were having fun and happy.

Lava, what great news from the doc's office. I wish I could bottle yoga breaths and drink them all day. Stress is such a huge side effect of TTC.

 

[padbrat]

Hiya lovely ladies!!

MA rough times will only make the amazing times to come when Amelia arrives all the more special xx

So nice to see you Luvvie! It is great to see everyones pictures!

Lava...good news!! Temp drops can be down to all sorts of things hun... don't give up yet huni!

FM... praying for big fat follies for ya!

Lynn my matey! How ya doing pregnant lady! and of course the lovely Skye with her her lil bubs! xx

As for me well....I had my hospital appt on Monday...

Basically they said PGD or egg donation... we said PGD too expensive and Hubby doesn't want to do egg donation anymore.

So we were told we were extremely high risk due to my crappy X chromosome, amount of M/cs, age, risk of downs etc etc. She wouldn't do the NK cell test as she is an Obs and getting pregnant is not something she can spend NHS cash on... however, she has promised to 'throw the book' at me when I do get pregnant again and give me everything she can possibly think of. She also explained that Surrey and Hampshire will not fund IVF/Fertility treatment for anyone regardless of age.

She has recommended the Lister for egg donation and the Bridge Clinic for PGD.

Gotta say there were no big shocks there.... just confirmation that we were having a Son and he died because he had my bad X.

Hubby wants to give up.

Also told her that still have not had an AF and my surgery was 11th April. She was a bit concerned and has told me to do a pregnancy test.... so tomorrow I will POAS and for the first time ever pray for a negative.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hiya lovely ladies!!

MA rough times will only make the amazing times to come when Amelia arrives all the more special xx

So nice to see you Luvvie! It is great to see everyones pictures!

Lava...good news!! Temp drops can be down to all sorts of things hun... don't give up yet huni!

FM... praying for big fat follies for ya!

Lynn my matey! How ya doing pregnant lady! and of course the lovely Skye with her her lil bubs! xx

As for me well....I had my hospital appt on Monday...

Basically they said PGD or egg donation... we said PGD too expensive and Hubby doesn't want to do egg donation anymore.

So we were told we were extremely high risk due to my crappy X chromosome, amount of M/cs, age, risk of downs etc etc. She wouldn't do the NK cell test as she is an Obs and getting pregnant is not something she can spend NHS cash on... however, she has promised to 'throw the book' at me when I do get pregnant again and give me everything she can possibly think of. She also explained that Surrey and Hampshire will not fund IVF/Fertility treatment for anyone regardless of age.

She has recommended the Lister for egg donation and the Bridge Clinic for PGD.

Gotta say there were no big shocks there.... just confirmation that we were having a Son and he died because he had my bad X.

Hubby wants to give up.

Also told her that still have not had an AF and my surgery was 11th April. She was a bit concerned and has told me to do a pregnancy test.... so tomorrow I will POAS and for the first time ever pray for a negative.

Such a frustrating place to be. I'm so sorry. Will you take some time to think on what you both will do? If he doesn't plan to do egg donation does this mean you'll move on to adoption then? I'm praying for answers for you as well as that little one you've always dreamed of. I'm not giving up on your journey.

 

[Nikki Leigh]

Hi all:

I've totally caught up on the thread. Sorry I've been OOP (out of pocket) this weekend--was swamped with meetings, and birthdays, and airport runs and the like.

Skye: great news! I'm happy that all is going as it should.

MA: Prayers for you.

Oh gosh, I don't know where to start with MJ, Dwirgi, Luv, Lava, FM, HA, OMM, grrrr, who did I miss?

OK, I just saw Pads: Oh, I'm sorry for you. I know it must be very frustrating for you both. It sounds like your DH is being a typical man--if he can't fix it, he just wants to move on. How to YOU feel about it though?

Anyhoo, just sailing along on moonlight bay....! Nah really, I'm getting some very low crampiness, so I assume I'll be getting the witchie soon. Not sure I OV this cycle, as I never got a +, and not too sure about CM, as I never get EWCM. I certainly don't think it will be 5 days until I get the witch, LOL. But in keeping with my "whatevers" thought process this month, oh well.

But had a fine cycle otherwise. I of course was assaulted by the "when are you guys have kids question" but I was OK with it. One of the gals at the party told me it took them 13 months of active trying after their first to have the second. She told me one time she was close to OV, and she pounced on hubby before a biz trip, saying "well you have like 20 minutes before you leave, right?" He was all "that is not sexy at all, and I'm so not in the mood." She felt confident that it would happen for us, "it just takes longer than it takes the 20 year olds!" It was sweet that she shared her stories, because I could relate.