TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[caroleb73]

Hey Ladies so sorry I haven't been online for a while but things have been going horribly wrong for me and DH.

I went in for EC on Wednesday and DH gave his "donation" and then they asked him to provide a second one as they were hopeful of more eggs. DH left me at the hospital as they were running so late and he had a job interview to go to as he is trying to get another job in Bahrain so he doesn't have to commute to Saudi Arabia each day. Anyway shortly after he left the Dr came to see me and told me that there was a huge problem with DH's swimmers and asked me if he had been unwell or suffered a heavy knock to that area. Both were no. Basically he has gone from a 80M very motil count to less than 10M and most of them not even moving. I was devastated but because of the interview I did not contact DH as wanted him to do well and made the decision to have my EC and freeze them. I got 14 eggs which is great but have been told that they need to run some tests on DH to find out what is going on and it could mean 4 months of treatment to try and get his swimmers to improve enough to be able to fertilize. Also they reckon only 65% of eggs will survive defrost and then around 50-60% of them will fertilize.

My driver collected me from the hospital and took me home and then I had the horrible task of telling DH what had gone on. He was so upset poor guy. I did feel a great deal of pain the next day which progressively got worse with massive swelling of my stomach I looked 5 months pregnant (if only) and then when the dizziness and nausea came in I went back to the hospital where they kept me all weekend with bad OHSS. I was on a drip constantly and had to have the fluid removed. I was so annoyed as this was due to the massive amounts of meds they gave me with no monitoring. When I was discharged the nurse told me not to worry as OHSS is very normal and that most of their patients get it. I wanted to tell them that this level of OHSS is a rare thing in London and other places because they monitor their patients and only give them sensible amounts of meds when their hormone levels are ready for them but I knew I was wasting my breath.

I am now feeling like I have been hit by a truck physically and emotially I am just numb. We have decided to try ans get DH back on track and once he is OK to have those eggs defrosted and see if we get lucky. If not then we will never use a doctor here again, we will go back to the clinic I used before in London as I completely trust him. I have spoken to my boss and he is supportive of me taking some unpaid leave if necessary to make this happen. So for the next 4 months at least I have to come to terms with the fact that there is no chance of a BFP for us.

The one good thing that has come from this is that DH has changed his attitude towards adoption. I have said that if the swimmers do not improve enough then we will start the adoption process immediately.

Sorry that this is a selfish post but I promise I will catch up on all your news the last few days and post later.

Take care all

 

[Macwooly]

Carole - sorry I'm new to the thread so you don't now me yet but I hope you don't mind me saying I am so sorry to hear about your situation

 

[lavalux]

Carole,
I am so sorry about your experience this week. I know your DH must feel absolutely awful about his swimmers. You did well with 14 eggs, but at what cost? Lots of pain due to the OHSS b/c they weren't monitoring you properly. I'm glad you are okay and back from the hospital.

One suggestion for your DH, mine showed a lot of improvement with his motility in just a couple of months on Conception RX. My husband ordered it online and although it taste and smells nasty, it did seem to be effective in a relatively short time.

The silver lining in all this is (1) you did produce a nice number of eggs that are waiting for you, (2) you have an understanding boss, (3) and y'all are now considering different options including adoption. That is very exciting!

Try to rest up and get your strength back. Thanks for updating us on your status. I'd been thinking about you this weekend.

Chris,
Love the BDing in the tent and your DH's funny comment! Ya never know! Sounds like lots of fun.

 

[onmymind17]

Oh Carol, i am so sorry to hear all of this, i am praying that maybe it was just a fluke and that DH's swimmers will be ok. Oh thats horrible that they dont monitor you with the meds, omg, i cannot believe that, why do they put their patients through that for nothing!!!! Sending you and your dh lots of

 

[skye2010]

Chris you really cracked me up Never thought of a tent fantasy Might be fun but shame it wouldn't be too appropriate in our communal garden. hhhahahahahaha

Awww Carole what a nightmare. It is so unfortunate after all this effort and expense that you should have bad luck with DH's swimmies. But it is probobly pure bad luck. Men's swimmies can be effected with a number of things. (feverish cold, warmth, etc etc) It can actually be a complete one off. So don't let DH blame himself for it. A friend of mine had a similar situation. When his DH was doing his deed the fire alarm went off. He had a stagefright and couldn't produce any. He also had bad numbers generally. So this time they froze his swimmies before the tx and used that for the match. (Just writing for general knowledge it's actually a good idea for couples with swimmy problems to freeze it beforehand ) Fertility conception vitamin for man seems to help with the swimmies. Hope it is resolved very soon.

OHSS isn't uncommon in here. I had it and spoke to a few girls who also had it. Poor thing your OHSS sounds pretty bad. If they drained fluids etc your tummy must have been really big and painful. But your drug protocol was indeed shocking. They suspect OHSS on over 20 eggs here. They sort of handed you the meds blindfolded. And towards the end they just upped the dose like crazy. You have doubts about the down regging too.

Carole at least all hope is not lost on this cycle. You still have the frozen 15 eggs which is a good number. There are babies born to frozen eggs so pls don't give up hope. You never know you might have that one strong egg to come through as a perfect embie

If this doesn't work though and you decide to come back to the UK for tx pls consider ARGC too. They have the best success rates in the UK especially on older girls. They are more obsessive and strict with tx (more blood, scans, follow ups and expense as a result) But you are limited on time so I think you can look at all best possible options. You can check the success rates and prices on all clinics (NHS or private) throughout UK on HFEA web site. Which is a government organisation that monitors all fertility tx in UK. So they are the only reliable channel to know. The results haven't been updated yet and from 2009 but it's still a good indication.

Carole honey after following your 2 IVF's I'm convinced that you can have a baby with a fine tuned tx for your body. Or hopefully one of the frozen eggies might produce your much deserved bb and this whole episode will be forgotten. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Butterfly67]

Aw Carol I'm sorry that sounds like a terrible experience but yes, 15 sounds like a good number of eggs and with the stats that you have there that could still give you 5-6 fertilised eggs (although I know nothing about this) which sounds good? And yes, if DH had good swimmers before then he can do it again and hopefully quickly. Sending you

Chris - yes you made me laugh too with your tent

 

[Neversaynever]

Carole...huge , like this journey isn't difficult enough please try and stay positive.

Chris... at the in the tent.

to everyone

AFM...doctor has no idea what is wrong with me I am off the meds as they made me feel so ill, I am officially on the whatever wagon and my head is in a good place..will attach my journal entry..,.

Well I went to the GP this morning and I am still none the wiser

About the pelvic infection...he doesn't seem to think that that is aactually correct. He said it's one of those things that they try and diagnose but only has 25% rate of being correct. He also said that my op was a while ago so that would be the only possible way of getting that type of infection.

About endo...he thinks that I haven't been off the pill long enough for it to be that. I'm pleased about that

I asked if it was a possible cycst...he said maybe but there isn't really a treatment to deal with it unless you want to be interfered with and they aren't harmful.

So...I have also had a mini bleed today so my cycles are still not back to normal. I told OH all this when he called me to ask how I got on and his worried sounding response was 'no wonder we are having trouble conceiving if your body isn't right or back to normal' and the role has been reversed. It was me reassuring him that everything will be fine and it'll happen when it happens.

It'e been quite a strange day to be honest. Have been doing some bits and pices in preparation for some carpets to be fitted tomorrow and I have come to realise a few things.

This month, there will be NO poas action... what so ever. I'm tired of it ruling my life and it has only been a few months. I don't need the stress and neither does my OH.

I have also seen/read how stressful and worrying it is once you get the BFP. I have seen how soul destroying it is when people are having spotting or the dreaded scan with a devastating outcome.

I do really want children, in fact I'd even say desperate. But I have to let go and have some acceptance that it is out of my control.

to all

XxX

 

[onmymind17]

Chris you really cracked me up Never thought of a tent fantasy Might be fun but shame it wouldn't be too appropriate in our communal garden. hhhahahahahaha

LOL, no i would not suggest doing that in a communal garden lol, then everybody would be walking past looking at you lol. I have to say it was a lot of fun lol.

 

[twinkle1975]

Welcome Newbies!!

Carole - I'm so sorry that you're still having problems, keeping you in my prayers

Butterfly - yay for positive OPK!!

tigerlily - big hugs - as others have said they'll start with blood tests

Macwooly - I went to my GP after 6 months as I'm over 35 - when he referred us he put in the letter that we'd been trying for a year - he said its what they want to hear & he didn't want us hanging around for another 6 months!

luvmy - keeping my fingers crossed for you!

HA - staying on the whatev wagin is really hard!!

Dwrgi - what do you teach??

missyt - DH's ex sounds a nightmare - glad they're not moving closer!

lavalux - sending you foxy vibes (although I'm lacking it today after being on my knees for an hour cleaning play dough off the church carpet at work!) and PMA!

Skye - yay for a good scan!! Why don't you post your updates in a spoiler like MA does & then those of us who want to know can look but others don't have to??

Onmymind - heehee to tent fun!

Neversay - just want to send you lots of hugs

Hey to everyone else

 

[Indigo77]

I think I might go into a lurking state as well since there is so many new ladies joining and I don't want to offend anyone.

As one of the new ladies to the thread I won't be offended to see you posting about your pregnancy I find it so inspirational and it really helps my PMA to read about other ladies BFPs & pregnancies

Ditto.....btw, I am always lurking in the Over 35 pregnancy section...

 

[onmymind17]

Carole...huge , like this journey isn't difficult enough please try and stay positive.

Chris... at the in the tent.

to everyone

AFM...doctor has no idea what is wrong with me I am off the meds as they made me feel so ill, I am officially on the whatever wagon and my head is in a good place..will attach my journal entry..,.

Well I went to the GP this morning and I am still none the wiser

About the pelvic infection...he doesn't seem to think that that is aactually correct. He said it's one of those things that they try and diagnose but only has 25% rate of being correct. He also said that my op was a while ago so that would be the only possible way of getting that type of infection.

About endo...he thinks that I haven't been off the pill long enough for it to be that. I'm pleased about that

I asked if it was a possible cycst...he said maybe but there isn't really a treatment to deal with it unless you want to be interfered with and they aren't harmful.

So...I have also had a mini bleed today so my cycles are still not back to normal. I told OH all this when he called me to ask how I got on and his worried sounding response was 'no wonder we are having trouble conceiving if your body isn't right or back to normal' and the role has been reversed. It was me reassuring him that everything will be fine and it'll happen when it happens.

It'e been quite a strange day to be honest. Have been doing some bits and pices in preparation for some carpets to be fitted tomorrow and I have come to realise a few things.

This month, there will be NO poas action... what so ever. I'm tired of it ruling my life and it has only been a few months. I don't need the stress and neither does my OH.

I have also seen/read how stressful and worrying it is once you get the BFP. I have seen how soul destroying it is when people are having spotting or the dreaded scan with a devastating outcome.

I do really want children, in fact I'd even say desperate. But I have to let go and have some acceptance that it is out of my control.

to all

XxX

You know what honey, sometimes you just have to say "Whatever" and let it all go, in order to preserve your sanity. I too am desperate to have a child, but you know what i refuse to let it ruin my life, or what i have with my husband. I think your doing the best thing for you and i am proud of you for just letting it all go!! I am sorry that they have no idea what is going on with you, hopefully you can get that all smoothed out. I think everybody needs to have a little bit of fun, like me and our tent just have fun you know what i mean, unfortunatly when we are TTC we tend to get all focused on the numbers and are there two lines and we forget about the love between two people. Thats why i said to heck with it and lets have some fun lol.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Carole,

Sounds so sad for dh and I know the 4 month issue is such a heartbreaker. The good news is that your both on the same page with adoption though now. I know it's not the ideal outcome but you'll find that if you DO decide on adoption the love you have for your child will be just as intense.

A good idea may be to start researching which country (domestic or international) and start the application process right now while you wait for your IVF treatment. The paper-chase process is like carrying a baby for 9 months. There's all kinds of up's n downs with emotions just like carrying a baby. Several of my friends were either half way through or just finalized adoption when they finally ended up pregnant either naturally or two went through IVF treatment while still going through the paper chase. I can't IMAGINE how intense doing both must have been with hormones involved but I have to say they tell me they wouldn't have it any other way now they hold they're babies close in age.

Continuing to pray for your journey.

 

[HappyAuntie]

Hey Ladies so sorry I haven't been online for a while but things have been going horribly wrong for me and DH.

I went in for EC on Wednesday and DH gave his "donation" and then they asked him to provide a second one as they were hopeful of more eggs. DH left me at the hospital as they were running so late and he had a job interview to go to as he is trying to get another job in Bahrain so he doesn't have to commute to Saudi Arabia each day. Anyway shortly after he left the Dr came to see me and told me that there was a huge problem with DH's swimmers and asked me if he had been unwell or suffered a heavy knock to that area. Both were no. Basically he has gone from a 80M very motil count to less than 10M and most of them not even moving. I was devastated but because of the interview I did not contact DH as wanted him to do well and made the decision to have my EC and freeze them. I got 14 eggs which is great but have been told that they need to run some tests on DH to find out what is going on and it could mean 4 months of treatment to try and get his swimmers to improve enough to be able to fertilize. Also they reckon only 65% of eggs will survive defrost and then around 50-60% of them will fertilize.

My driver collected me from the hospital and took me home and then I had the horrible task of telling DH what had gone on. He was so upset poor guy. I did feel a great deal of pain the next day which progressively got worse with massive swelling of my stomach I looked 5 months pregnant (if only) and then when the dizziness and nausea came in I went back to the hospital where they kept me all weekend with bad OHSS. I was on a drip constantly and had to have the fluid removed. I was so annoyed as this was due to the massive amounts of meds they gave me with no monitoring. When I was discharged the nurse told me not to worry as OHSS is very normal and that most of their patients get it. I wanted to tell them that this level of OHSS is a rare thing in London and other places because they monitor their patients and only give them sensible amounts of meds when their hormone levels are ready for them but I knew I was wasting my breath.

I am now feeling like I have been hit by a truck physically and emotially I am just numb. We have decided to try ans get DH back on track and once he is OK to have those eggs defrosted and see if we get lucky. If not then we will never use a doctor here again, we will go back to the clinic I used before in London as I completely trust him. I have spoken to my boss and he is supportive of me taking some unpaid leave if necessary to make this happen. So for the next 4 months at least I have to come to terms with the fact that there is no chance of a BFP for us.

The one good thing that has come from this is that DH has changed his attitude towards adoption. I have said that if the swimmers do not improve enough then we will start the adoption process immediately.

Sorry that this is a selfish post but I promise I will catch up on all your news the last few days and post later.

Take care all

I only have a minute but couldn't read and run - OMG Carole honey, there is nothing selfish at all about posting what you've been through - I'm so glad you updated us and so heartsick for what you must be feeling - I know there's nothing we can say to make it better but we all love you and are praying for you and rooting for you. Sending you massive hugs today and every day. xoxoxox

 

[Dwrgi]

Dwrgi funny you thought the same thing Now we have the mystery of the week hahahaha!!

Just been to the clinic. Had blood tests and a scan. The baby looks like a bubble gum (Sac etc) Very happy I'm a little more confidant with this pregnancy now. I think I might go into a lurking state as well since there is so many new ladies joining and I don't want to offend anyone. But I'll be still supporting you girls and following what's going on in here.

By the way haven't heard from Carole yet have we? Carole I am really curious to know how did the ec go? When is your transfer?

I'm wishing everyone here a huge hugg and loads of

Hia Skye

So pleased that all good with the scan-it all looks very promising! I bet you were anxious though after the dodgy trip back.. Glad you're safe and sound.

Please don't leave us-your advice is always invaluable, and it is sooooooo good to hear how you're getting on!

Hope you've setted back in after coming back from your hols-you have the worst part now, the UNPACKING!!!

Take it easy and welcome back to the UK!

 

[Dwrgi]

Hey Ladies so sorry I haven't been online for a while but things have been going horribly wrong for me and DH.

I went in for EC on Wednesday and DH gave his "donation" and then they asked him to provide a second one as they were hopeful of more eggs. DH left me at the hospital as they were running so late and he had a job interview to go to as he is trying to get another job in Bahrain so he doesn't have to commute to Saudi Arabia each day. Anyway shortly after he left the Dr came to see me and told me that there was a huge problem with DH's swimmers and asked me if he had been unwell or suffered a heavy knock to that area. Both were no. Basically he has gone from a 80M very motil count to less than 10M and most of them not even moving. I was devastated but because of the interview I did not contact DH as wanted him to do well and made the decision to have my EC and freeze them. I got 14 eggs which is great but have been told that they need to run some tests on DH to find out what is going on and it could mean 4 months of treatment to try and get his swimmers to improve enough to be able to fertilize. Also they reckon only 65% of eggs will survive defrost and then around 50-60% of them will fertilize.

My driver collected me from the hospital and took me home and then I had the horrible task of telling DH what had gone on. He was so upset poor guy. I did feel a great deal of pain the next day which progressively got worse with massive swelling of my stomach I looked 5 months pregnant (if only) and then when the dizziness and nausea came in I went back to the hospital where they kept me all weekend with bad OHSS. I was on a drip constantly and had to have the fluid removed. I was so annoyed as this was due to the massive amounts of meds they gave me with no monitoring. When I was discharged the nurse told me not to worry as OHSS is very normal and that most of their patients get it. I wanted to tell them that this level of OHSS is a rare thing in London and other places because they monitor their patients and only give them sensible amounts of meds when their hormone levels are ready for them but I knew I was wasting my breath.

I am now feeling like I have been hit by a truck physically and emotially I am just numb. We have decided to try ans get DH back on track and once he is OK to have those eggs defrosted and see if we get lucky. If not then we will never use a doctor here again, we will go back to the clinic I used before in London as I completely trust him. I have spoken to my boss and he is supportive of me taking some unpaid leave if necessary to make this happen. So for the next 4 months at least I have to come to terms with the fact that there is no chance of a BFP for us.

The one good thing that has come from this is that DH has changed his attitude towards adoption. I have said that if the swimmers do not improve enough then we will start the adoption process immediately.

Sorry that this is a selfish post but I promise I will catch up on all your news the last few days and post later.

Take care all

Hello! Oh Carol, I'm so sorry, you must be absolutely beside yourself. I hope that you are physically feeling a little bit better-you weren't happy with your treatment from the word go, and now to have spent the weekend in hospital because of it, you poor thing. I am sending you BIG hugs.

It is brilliant that they collected 14 good eggs-you just wait till your ready to transfer and I am sure they will come good for you!

Your story made me think of myself back in February with my one and only IUI, and I don't want to hog with my story, but it was the exact same scenario. Turn up on the day, then are told that all abandoned, as OH produced only FOUR healthy swimmers, and 13% motility. Honest to God, not even double figures. He'd had an infection before Xmas and I am positive they affected his swimmers. So, he has been on Conception plus for men, vits e, c, selnium and zinc, and his tests (three months later) was hugely improved. Also, I think I'm right in saying, that sperm tests vary hugely from day to day, but this must have been awful for you as you'd got yourself all ready for this physically and mentally.

I do really feel for you. Anyway, I hope you're feeling a bit better and can just give yourself the next few months off to not worry about TTC.

Big hugs to you hun.

 

[Dwrgi]

Carole...huge , like this journey isn't difficult enough please try and stay positive.

Chris... at the in the tent.

to everyone

AFM...doctor has no idea what is wrong with me I am off the meds as they made me feel so ill, I am officially on the whatever wagon and my head is in a good place..will attach my journal entry..,.

Well I went to the GP this morning and I am still none the wiser

About the pelvic infection...he doesn't seem to think that that is aactually correct. He said it's one of those things that they try and diagnose but only has 25% rate of being correct. He also said that my op was a while ago so that would be the only possible way of getting that type of infection.

About endo...he thinks that I haven't been off the pill long enough for it to be that. I'm pleased about that

I asked if it was a possible cycst...he said maybe but there isn't really a treatment to deal with it unless you want to be interfered with and they aren't harmful.

So...I have also had a mini bleed today so my cycles are still not back to normal. I told OH all this when he called me to ask how I got on and his worried sounding response was 'no wonder we are having trouble conceiving if your body isn't right or back to normal' and the role has been reversed. It was me reassuring him that everything will be fine and it'll happen when it happens.

It'e been quite a strange day to be honest. Have been doing some bits and pices in preparation for some carpets to be fitted tomorrow and I have come to realise a few things.

This month, there will be NO poas action... what so ever. I'm tired of it ruling my life and it has only been a few months. I don't need the stress and neither does my OH.

I have also seen/read how stressful and worrying it is once you get the BFP. I have seen how soul destroying it is when people are having spotting or the dreaded scan with a devastating outcome.

I do really want children, in fact I'd even say desperate. But I have to let go and have some acceptance that it is out of my control.

to all

XxX

Hi Never, so sorry that they are still none the wiser about what is wrong. So frustrating. How do you feel in yourself? I know that we all really want our BFPs but in a lot of ways, there is a feeling of liberation in not having to check for ov, temp daily, obsess over symptoms, and then the awful POAS. This is what I do anyway, and it drives me insane. So, I guess we have to look for silver linings and that is that perhaps it would be good just to forget all that for a couple of cycles, and concentrate on the Whatevers...

I am thinking of you and hope that you are feeling a bit better. You will get your BFP, and your longed for baby, I am certain of it!

Hang on in there hun,
Lots of love,
A
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dwrgi]

Welcome Newbies!!

Carole - I'm so sorry that you're still having problems, keeping you in my prayers

Butterfly - yay for positive OPK!!

tigerlily - big hugs - as others have said they'll start with blood tests

Macwooly - I went to my GP after 6 months as I'm over 35 - when he referred us he put in the letter that we'd been trying for a year - he said its what they want to hear & he didn't want us hanging around for another 6 months!

luvmy - keeping my fingers crossed for you!

HA - staying on the whatev wagin is really hard!!

Dwrgi - what do you teach??

missyt - DH's ex sounds a nightmare - glad they're not moving closer!

lavalux - sending you foxy vibes (although I'm lacking it today after being on my knees for an hour cleaning play dough off the church carpet at work!) and PMA!

Skye - yay for a good scan!! Why don't you post your updates in a spoiler like MA does & then those of us who want to know can look but others don't have to??

Onmymind - heehee to tent fun!

Neversay - just want to send you lots of hugs

Hey to everyone else

Hi Twinkle, that play dough sounds like a complete pain....!! I am sending hugs your way!

I teach English in a Welsh language secondary school; I teach 11-18 year olds. At the moment, I'm marking GCSE English Literature Higher scripts. I've just finished 391 but have requested another 100-I need to bump my savings up with the summer IVF bill hanging over me...

I hope that you are okay-I'm sure the foxy vibes are still strong!

 

[purplelou]

caroleb - sorry, I just wanted to send

skye and lava - keep posting here - it gives me hope that it could happen for me too

I have to believe that everyone will get their bfp, since I don't think that i am more 'deserving' than anyone else and since all of you would be lovely mommies! (and if it can happen for you guys then I have a chance!)

 

[missyt]

Chris, I love the story about the tent fun. That actually sounds like a lot of fun. I think that would be so cute if you did conceive that night. Oh, I hope so. That would be such an inspiring story.

Carol, my heart goes out to you. Please know you are in my prayers. And don't think you are being selfish. This is why we are all here, to listen. You have times when you need to vent and it sounds like you really need to vent. Remember, it does help your stress level to get it all out.

Never, I hope you feel better soon. I know what you mean about letting go. Its so hard. Sometimes I think I need a complete attitude adjustment but I don't know where to start.

Hello to the rests of you ladies!

 

[goldie66]

Hi Girlies,can I join you all,I'm due AF 25th, I'm 6dpo..

This is my 4 cycle ttc. chemical in March and nothing April,May...Hoping I get my BFP soon...

Last month I used clearblue digi sticks,pre-seed and instead cups..

Using clearblue monitor this month and also instead cups...no pre-seed..
Only thing I notice at 5dpo is thick white cm and low cervix I think,not sure bout this cervix high,low, open.....

I'm 40 years young and trying for our 1st...

Still trying to figure out how to add sprinkle dust etc..lol..

Wishing everyone a BFP soon...
xxxx