TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[Dwrgi]

A, I agree with purps, you have to do what is right for you at the time and it wouldn't have been right to bring a child into the world at that stage in your life I guess the one thing that shows is that you can fall pregnant naturally - so why the hell aren't you I am hoping the old hag bag stays away and although you think you are OK with things I think it is jsut that time when you think she is going to turn up that it hits you again

Right, I will try and remember as many as I can - I find it difficult to do long posts when I am on my phone so I will take the opportunity now I am on my laptop

Pad, yay at grabbing DH and the shagfest bet you are excited about your holiday and hopefully your move will be smooth, now let me go check out your rollercoaster...

LilS, big

Dashka big too

To our preggos Asry, Purple, Froliky - hope you are all blooming (did I miss someone?!)

To those MIA Bearlake, Coastdreams, Madeline, and a few others

HTJ, your chart is looking good when I saw it last

OK, that is my brain done so to Lady H, Never, Carole, Missy, HA, Twinkle, Tiger, chicken, nessaw, agape, DrS, greek, honeybee, nebulosa, Cellibelle, OMM and any stalkers and

Hope that covers it

Oh yes, and AFM I got my BD in last night but now I have a horrible feeling it was too early

Ah thanks Purps, Butterfly and Honeybee, you have really cheered me up!

Honeybee, OMG, what a nightmare situation, but you are right, we DO have to keep reminding ourselves that we did what was right for us at that time. We have to let it go, but sometimes it is hard. I still remember the due date and feel like sh*te when it comes around, and the child would be 10 now. So weird, especially when you see kids the same age. You had an even worse scenario, but, like you said, we have to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up about it. Thank you so much for saying what you did, Axxxxxx

Secret Agent Butterfly-yes, that was exactly my thought when I didn't conceive straight away with Ali-Baba, and why it was so easy to blame him. As for you, my favourite secret agent, remember that sperm can survive for 5 days so keep all FX!

My (hunky) embryologist revealed that he feeds sperm taurine and sugar in the labs when he gets them ready for ET! They love it, apparently! So lots of Red Bulls and sugar for you!!! Keeping everything crossed for you!

 

[HitTheJackpot]

Morning girls... I promise to catch up later in the day, but right now I am workin' my butt off, but something is on my mind and keeping me from concentrating, so I needed to come see if anyone has an answer...

So, my chart "looks good" with the consistent high temps, right? My question is this... Wouldn't my temps stay up like this even if I wasn't TTC? At 9 DPO, wouldn't my temp stay up during LP regardless, assuming a "normal" cycle? Without a difinitative triphasic pattern, don't the high temps pretty much just indicate that my body is doing what it should be doing after ovulation re: progesterone etc?

I'm trying desperately not to get my hopes up, but at the same time trying not to lose hope all together, which I'm finding is a VERY DIFFICULT balance to achieve, let alone to maintain. My temps are promising, but I have had an ugly skin breakout the past few days. Even my scalp is breaking out, for crying out loud! If I shaved my head I'm pretty sure my head would look like the surface of the moon and you'd find Neil Armstrong running around there somewhere. Timing is right on with AF. Breakouts are the only PMS I have ever suffered so I have nothing else to compare it to.

I have no pregnancy symptoms. None at all. Zip. Zero. Zilch. No implantation dip. No spotting, which I know only happens some of the time. No triphasic pattern. I'm a little tired, but I have been reducing my melatonin to get off of it all together in prep for pregnancy so my sleep patterns are off some.

I hate this. Why can't nature make us with a built-in pregnancy test? Two blue lines on your abdomen means your pregnant ? Sounds good to me! All of this uncertainty is going to drive me to drink. Water. It's gonna drive me to drink water. Dang. Even THAT sucks.



Thoughts?

 

[Butterfly67]

HTJ - all I can say is that some people get symptoms and some don't, some have a triphasic chart but most don't Not sure that helps much but hang in there

Honeybee

 

[tigerlily1975]

Dwrgi, just big, BIG to you

Love and more to all,

C xx

 

[froliky2011]

Agape - Sorry about witch. I hope this cycle is better.

Dwrgi - The other ladies are right...you are not being punished!! I know it's so much easier said than done to not beat yourself up over past choices but you were not ready to care for LO and so you made the best decision given your circumstances, education, knowledge etc. at the time.

HTJP - We'll help to keep you as sane as possible the TWW towards the end is always so challenging. It's so hard not to get emotional, nervous, doubtful, etc. I did not have implantation bleeding until 15 dpo. Sometimes it can happen even later and a lot of women don't get it at all. I never looked for implantation dip on thermometer because doctor told me they are not accurate. I was more concerned that it just stayed elevated because once it dropped I knew the was nearby.

Hi to all the rest! Just wanted to pop in quickly..

 

[Honeybee73]

deleted post

 

[purplelou]

Honeybee it sounds like you really worked through what you went through xxx

 

[grkprn]

Hi ladies - I just got my 8DPO progesterone results back and they were 12.4 ng/mL. I spoke with the RN and she said that they like to see the levels above 10, so everything looks good. Only question---I've heard that some docs like to see the levels above 20 ng/mL. What has everyone else heard?

 

[chickenchaser]

froliky - Yep I'm now in my first TWW, so far so good, everything has happened when it should, I have been really lucky. So I'm hoping if no BFP this month at least AF will show up on time. You sound as if you have been really busy but WOW yoga teacher training, very impressed.

padbrat - No need for apologies, I'm only jealous

Dwrgi - I'm Good Thanks, Big Hugs for you hun hang in there, you have not done anything wrong, please don't think like that. We all make our decisions on the information we have at the time and we can't be judged for that as it is only the person who is making the decision that has all the fact. You did what you did because it was the best thing for you at the time, never regret the past as it has made you the person you are now. I know you would give it all up for a child but just think what you have now and how things could be different. I know the support you have given the other and that only may be the reason why you are here. I am a great believer that everything happens for a reason, it may not be for you or you may never know why something has happened but there will be a reason. I thank the universe every day for the support you ladies have given me just in the few short weeks I have been here, so I can't imagine how the longer members feel Love to you

 

[chickenchaser]

Butterfly - Nevermind better to early at least you can have another go

Honeybee - Glad the witch is being kinder on you

HTJ - Sorry I have no idea but hugs to you

Hugs to everyone I didn't get a chance to talk to

 

[dashka]

Hi ladies,
Sorry it took a while for me to catch up… Work is busy but starting tomorrow it should be much better!

Dwrgi – oh hun.. you are being too hard on yourself…I am sorry you went through all that… but past choices are exactly that – in the past – and I’m sure you made the right decision that was best for you given your circumstances at that time…. That’s all we can do really… If we could see into the future - things would be different wouldn’t they… but sigh… we can only do what feels right at the time. Glad that you were able to leave your ex and now be with Al… If you weren’t happy with your ex and you stayed together just for the child –then think of how the child would feel to be brought up in a home without love…. Xo Now to change the subject – I think you should spend that extra ‘cash’ on something that makes you happy – something that ‘nourishes your soul’…..

Lils – Still thinking about you daily and hoping you are okay hun… I hope you start to see a little sunshine - we are here when you need us!

HTJ – your job sounds interesting – I don’t know why I didn’t realize the horses were yours! Are they on your property too? or do you have to drive to see them? I soo wish that the breaking out is a good sign and your chart temps do look higher than last month… Don’t give up my friend..

Honeybee – so sorry to hear about your history too… Damn that is so hard! I wish I could take the pain away from you ladies. And I wish I could make this dream happen for all of us here. It sucks! FX that your cycles even out sooner rather than later, but I think it’s totally normal for this to happen…your body is trying to regulate itself. Another thing you can try (if it doesn’t happen on its own)…is see a Naturopathic Doctor (or Homeopathic Dr) Years ago after doing an intense cleanse I lost my period for 4 months and the only way it returned was I took these homeopathic drops and it returned right away (and was normal again thereafter)…. It was like magic…. (it follows the lunar calendar too or something) I know your problem is opposite in that you are getting your AF too soon – but they will have something for that too…. Also make sure your iron is checked – because if you get AF too often your iron can go to low and that isn’t good for TTC…. Good luck hun!

Butterfly – FX your temps rise tomorrow or next!! Excellent job Agent Butterfly!

Asry & Purple – hello ladies! How are you doing?

Fro – glad you are running – that is awesome and yoga training too! wow you amaze me. I really need to get back to doing yoga.. I’ve neglected it for a few months. AD seems to wake up earlier now and I’m too wiped at night before bed…. Plus I have a bad habit of checking BnB first thing too… hee hee

Pad – love your sense of humour girl! Whoo hoo! GL tomorrow with the ‘double whammy’! I guess you figured out I’m not in FL by now… I’m in Canada ! but think Froliky answered your question.. Congrats on your move date.. that is kind of exciting… Do you need to move often because DH is in military? I hope this one lasts for a while anyway… Have a fantastic trip to FL hun!!

Agape – glad that the Metformin regulated your cycle and you ovulated this month! Sorry AF showed her ugly face on Monday….hope you did something nice for yourself. FX for you for next cycle.

Dr. S – glad you got to see lots of childhood friends on your trip home.. but sorry about the friend passing away … Hope you are flying back safely as we speak today and good luck with stims on Friday!

Lady H, Grkprn, & Chicken - Hope the TWW goes quicker for you!

Carole – hope you are holding Zara in your arms as we speak and she is cooing little baby coos for you…. xo Cherish every moment… and please ask Zara to send some of her baby friends she met on her way here ….

Hello and hugs to – Nessaw, Skipper, Grace, Bearlake, Madeline, Coastdreams, Nebulosa, Cellibelle, Tigerlily, Nikki, Never and anyone I missed!

AFM – I’ll put in another post – this one is getting too long!

Love you all!
xoxo

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi ladies - I just got my 8DPO progesterone results back and they were 12.4 ng/mL. I spoke with the RN and she said that they like to see the levels above 10, so everything looks good. Only question---I've heard that some docs like to see the levels above 20 ng/mL. What has everyone else heard?

Well I looked back at my day 21 bloods and it said Progestogen: 45 (normal 20-80) - but then is progestogen the same as progesterone or is it something different? Also I guess the US and Uk can have different measurements like in some other stuff

Butterfly - Nevermind better to early at least you can have another go

Honeybee - Glad the witch is being kinder on you

HTJ - Sorry I have no idea but hugs to you

Hugs to everyone I didn't get a chance to talk to

No more goes chicken, I just get the one shot as i have to schedule a meet with the ex

Did get a + OPK this evening so think I can count myself in for this month although not perfect timing

 

[dashka]

So as promised – update on me: (sorry for the long rant)…

AFM – today I’m 12DPO and saw my temp was falling a bit so tested and ofcourse …. I tried not to get my hopes up too much this month and think it was better that way… but still had a little cry in the car on the way to work. I find if I don’t then it will hit me when I’m not expecting it and that is worse (depending on who your with!) So my prediction is that spotting will start tomorrow and AF will arrive on time on Friday….and there is another 24 day cycle…. I know my body so well now it’s not funny.

Yesterday I went to my MD’s to get the referral for specialist and she is putting 3 referrals in – cause the wait is so long here –whoever calls me first. I had a long talk with my sister the other night and told her that I’m considering getting some immune testing done and maybe trying IUI with meds (but stronger than Clomid as that is all I tried 7-8 yrs ago). She gave me lots of info and the more I talked to her the more I thought that maybe I should see her doctor – You see this guy is really good – and does the most work with immune testing but he is a lot farther (in terms of me getting there in the mornings before work for monitoring) and also there is something like a 6 month waiting list for him. So I think I decided that I’d like to go to him even though I did see him like 6 years ago for the 1st consult and he wanted to push me into IVF right away and said some things to upset me….

I am willing to give him another shot (I have to try not to take things so personally). He is probably gonna say – why did you wait so long to come back …I just know it.. He told me then that I should “stop farting around” and let them get me preggers… (with all the other stuff I tried). Anyway had it all worked out then – I would not have our AD now.. and yes things worked out that way I guess. But going through the adoption process for 2.5 years –and not knowing for sure that it was all going to work –was a nightmare too (but with a happy ending).

I have flipped back and forth since yesterday…. One minute I’m excited about moving forward and the next I think – “what am I crazy???? Will the doc laugh at me because I only want to do IUI with meds and not IVF? If it’s an immune thing then IUI won’t help I don’t think…… How can I manage this?? How will I be able to get to the clinic early mornings –be there for 6:30am and what will I do with AD?? “(–as DH leaves for work at 3:45am).. how will I hide it from work – as I hear you can spend 2 hrs at the clinic in the morning waiting for your turn for monitoring…. Then I get really sad/angry because I think it’s so unfair how we ladies have to worry about all this shit when other women can just get preggers at the drop of a hat!

I don’t know but somehow I have to stop worrying about all the details because that is how I usually talk myself out of things. And I’m so good at that. So we’ll see what happens – maybe while I’m waiting for the doctor that I really want … if another calls me first within the 6 months -I may just try to get a little testing done through them… I don’t know – all I know is that I feel like time is running out…. But giving up - no not yet - there is a hole inside me right now when I think that I'll never carry a child inside me, and sometimes I feel like I've jipped DH.

On a more positive note… I picked up another mp3 track from the Russell Davis FERTILE MIND website – this one is called “A Peaceful Mind” and if you answer 3 simple questions they give it to you for half price – so I got it for 12 British pounds… It’s only 12-13 min..but this one is REALLY GOOD for working through all types of pain, negative results, m/c's, and trying to move on… I heard it last night and think it’s a good one to listen too when you get AF and are feeling down (or if you’ve had past losses etc…) I am still listening to at least one of the tracks every night before bed (and I’m falling asleep to it). I really recommend it …. It’s good if you don’t want to buy the whole program.

Sorry for my really long rant!!!
xoxo

 

[nessaw]

hello ladies,hope wednesday treated u well.afraid i cant remember everyones post cos didnt note things down but most of all wanted to say to dwrgi that i echo what all the ladies have said.whats done is done and look forward.

afm just waiting to o so poas.find this my least stressful time as no hopes or symptom sptting etc. two more days of school left and no more progress on reports.had a lovely nighg out with my best friend last night and feeling quite chilled.have a few additional stresses to the main baby one.my boyf was made redundant a few months ago and now the money is starting to pinch and am worried about him.also not happy in my job but need to stay to get the benefit of my salary in maternity pay.am trying not to worry about things i cant change but not doing a great job of it.got gp appt on fri re cd21 blood tests so maybe that will throw up some answers or options.not sure whic i prefer!

sorry for coming on and going on a bit.will do my best to remember more next time.

thanks vx

 

[Honeybee73]

deleted post

 

[Honeybee73]

Dashka - just wanted to send you some hugs and tell you I'm keeping everything crossed for you xx

 

[grkprn]

Dwrgi---sending you loads of hugs and xxx. I agree with the ladies here, try not to be so hard on yourself! You can always come here for any support you need....

 

[Asryellah]

Dwirgi & Honeybee, you guys have been through a lot, I wish I could take some of that weigh off from your shoulders those decisions were not easy but in that time of life were the right ones. I really hope you don't punish yourselves not even a bit I wish you will get peace with your mind with it and maybe you'll let your bodies get pregnant again? Good news is that you really have gotten preggers very easily back then, and your body knows how to do it.

Some pretty strong ladies here eh? Not that I havent noticed it before

HTJ- you really cant trust your temps (too much) showing you one way or the other Like yes, they will and should keep higher after O, and drop before AF. Well, I did not have implantation dips or spotting and my temp dropped the morning I got BFP!!! So anything is possible, you'll see it from FF charts if you do some searching, there are more weirdones than just mine

Dashka, I wish for you this cycle would be the one but if not I hope and pray IUI will work for you and the meds would be better than what you had before You hang in there hun, it'll come!!!!!

LilS - how are you doing hun? BIG

To all of you women here, preggers or trying - tomorrow is the first day of the
OFFICIAL SUMMER MONTH
I wish you all have the best summer and beautiful weather lovely times spent with loved ones and most of the all..
we need some BFP's here, bring em on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps. I'm having total "writers block" I'm not sure if I did write here already some of this same *hit I did now or not sorry if I did. And thanks for asking for me, I'm doing good - did order a doppler. I'm really losing it now

 

[Dwrgi]

So as promised – update on me: (sorry for the long rant)…

AFM – today I’m 12DPO and saw my temp was falling a bit so tested and ofcourse …. I tried not to get my hopes up too much this month and think it was better that way… but still had a little cry in the car on the way to work. I find if I don’t then it will hit me when I’m not expecting it and that is worse (depending on who your with!) So my prediction is that spotting will start tomorrow and AF will arrive on time on Friday….and there is another 24 day cycle…. I know my body so well now it’s not funny.

Yesterday I went to my MD’s to get the referral for specialist and she is putting 3 referrals in – cause the wait is so long here –whoever calls me first. I had a long talk with my sister the other night and told her that I’m considering getting some immune testing done and maybe trying IUI with meds (but stronger than Clomid as that is all I tried 7-8 yrs ago). She gave me lots of info and the more I talked to her the more I thought that maybe I should see her doctor – You see this guy is really good – and does the most work with immune testing but he is a lot farther (in terms of me getting there in the mornings before work for monitoring) and also there is something like a 6 month waiting list for him. So I think I decided that I’d like to go to him even though I did see him like 6 years ago for the 1st consult and he wanted to push me into IVF right away and said some things to upset me….

I am willing to give him another shot (I have to try not to take things so personally). He is probably gonna say – why did you wait so long to come back …I just know it.. He told me then that I should “stop farting around” and let them get me preggers… (with all the other stuff I tried). Anyway had it all worked out then – I would not have our AD now.. and yes things worked out that way I guess. But going through the adoption process for 2.5 years –and not knowing for sure that it was all going to work –was a nightmare too (but with a happy ending).

I have flipped back and forth since yesterday…. One minute I’m excited about moving forward and the next I think – “what am I crazy???? Will the doc laugh at me because I only want to do IUI with meds and not IVF? If it’s an immune thing then IUI won’t help I don’t think…… How can I manage this?? How will I be able to get to the clinic early mornings –be there for 6:30am and what will I do with AD?? “(–as DH leaves for work at 3:45am).. how will I hide it from work – as I hear you can spend 2 hrs at the clinic in the morning waiting for your turn for monitoring…. Then I get really sad/angry because I think it’s so unfair how we ladies have to worry about all this shit when other women can just get preggers at the drop of a hat!

I don’t know but somehow I have to stop worrying about all the details because that is how I usually talk myself out of things. And I’m so good at that. So we’ll see what happens – maybe while I’m waiting for the doctor that I really want … if another calls me first within the 6 months -I may just try to get a little testing done through them… I don’t know – all I know is that I feel like time is running out…. But giving up - no not yet - there is a hole inside me right now when I think that I'll never carry a child inside me, and sometimes I feel like I've jipped DH.

On a more positive note… I picked up another mp3 track from the Russell Davis FERTILE MIND website – this one is called “A Peaceful Mind” and if you answer 3 simple questions they give it to you for half price – so I got it for 12 British pounds… It’s only 12-13 min..but this one is REALLY GOOD for working through all types of pain, negative results, m/c's, and trying to move on… I heard it last night and think it’s a good one to listen too when you get AF and are feeling down (or if you’ve had past losses etc…) I am still listening to at least one of the tracks every night before bed (and I’m falling asleep to it). I really recommend it …. It’s good if you don’t want to buy the whole program.

Sorry for my really long rant!!!
xoxo

Dashka, I'm so sorry that you feel like this and I am sending you HUGE hugs across the pond! I am glad that you spoke to your sister, and I think it is a very good idea that you go back to the doctor that she recommended. I think we can always put obstacles in our way, but the bottom line is whether you are prepared to do everything and anything to have your own bb. Gosh, that sounds really harsh, but what I mean is that, in years to come, thinking about how you would manage with AD as your OH is up and out early will fade into insignificance, and you will berate yourself for not moving heaven and earth to get to see this guy.

And I wouldn't give two figs about what he'll say regarding the 6 year delay since you last visited him. You needed to digest what he said and, in the meantime, you've adopted a child which is the most amazing thing! You couldn't possibly have assisted conception whilst going through that process.

Can you remind me why you'd have IUI and not IVF? The drugs and scans are much the same (possibly more aggressive for IVF, but the side effects, I have found, are quite bearable). I found the drugs for IUI (Clomid) far worse than the suprecur and menopur for IVF, but this was my experience, of course.

IDK, I feel the same as you, bereft, devastated and so hopeless when you get the BFN. It is hell on earth and I want to scream with frustration at all these women who get pregnant by just looking at their partners, it seems. They really have no idea, and yes, it is so unfair. But life is not fair, and this is the (crap) hand that we have been dealt with. A plan is the way to go Maria, and then you will feel happier that you are getting closer to your dream.

I so know how you feel, and it really doesn't get any easier with time; worse, in fact, as the old clock is ticking away. But you have to hope and have to plan, and be completely single-minded in achieving your own natural pregnancy.

I hope all of this makes sense. I would love you to get a BFP so much, and I will support you with whatever you decide to do!

Big hugs, be kind to yourself, have something nice planned for the weekend, and find something that will 'feed your soul' too!

Lots and lots of love, and and ,
Amanda
xxxx

 

[Dwrgi]

Girls, think I'm going to buy the three month package for FF. See how I go with it! It will also take me through the summer IMSI.....

Love to you all!! Much colder today, isn't it, UK girls???!!

Lils, especially HUGE hugs to you,

Axxxxxxxxxxxx