TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[pbl_ge]

And THANKS SO MUCH to Ipen for all the adoption info! This is really helpful. I know a few couples who have done the foster to adoption route (they've gotten infants, too!), and the international route, but I don't think I've known anyone who did private adoption. Good to know that it doesn't have to bankrupt you!

 

[padbrat]

Awwww thanks Dwrgi and LadyH for the well wishes. I can say I would not recommend the experience lol

Aww Emily. I am afraid I take a very simplistic approach when it comes to adoption of children. Just because you can give birth/get a woman pregnant doesn't mean you will be good parents. Does a baby care about the person who cares and loves them sexual preferences? Nope. Baby just wants to be cared for, loved, given attention and all the opportunities possible to grow into a fantastic person.

Yes, other people have different views... there is not a lot you can do about that.

I think most of us on this thread have faced to some extent the effect of others expectations and views on us. For myself, there is still such a stigma attached to M/C and I have suffered 6. I have been told by my own family that I should have given up, that I was stupid to put myself through it time and time again etc etc... and you dare not tell most people the full extent of what you experience because of their reaction.

It is tough. I believe the hardest roads can bring the greatest rewards.... just need plenty of hope hope hope to get through it!

 

[chickenchaser]

OMG Pad, So glad you are OK. Scary Mary or what. You take care of yourself honey

 

[Irish_eyes]

Hello everyone, hope you all had a nice weekend. Sorry I disappeared for a few days after asking about supplements etc. Just wanted to say thank you for your welcomes and for all your advise. Of course I have more questions so sorry if this turns out to be a long post.

Well, there are a number of things that you can do to improve egg quality. I was told that diet is essential and that you need to maximise proteins (preferably plant based, but animal will do: beans, lentils, seeds, etc. etc.), lots of eggs, etc.

Thanks Dwrgi for all that information. I tried the maximising of proteins when I was doing IVF, even to the point of drink protein shakes but I don't think I left enough time for it to be of any benefit (not from 3 months before).

5mg of folic acid (preferably folate as it absorbs better, think you'd need to see your GP about this)

Does this mean that the folic acid in Pregnacare or just regular Folic Acid is not enough?

get hubby on the Wellman equivalent

I have this in the house for a well, it's hard to get DH to take them as he says they are digusting. But he will just have to suck it up and get on with it. I also going to get him to take Vitamin C as I have heard it is good for men who smoke. I just can't get him to give up but he did say he wanted to so that is something to work on. His swimmers are ok but anything is worth a try.

baby aspirin every day (75 units)

Can you get baby aspirin in Boots?

I've also started taking Agnus Castus (or Vitex, as our American friends call it).

I can't take this as I am on Bromocriptine. I bought this a few years ago to take and googled to see if I can take it with Bromo but it does the same thing. I take Bromo to lower my prolactin levels.

Lils will tell you that you need to take progesterone in the 2WW-my FS prescribed 3x 400mg per day for me when I had my ICSIs.

Where can I get this? I only had this when I was doing IVF. Is it something I can get online?

You can also buy stuff like Preseed to act as a sperm friendly lubricant during the days of Ovulation..

I have been using this since starting TTCing

I don't suppose you need me to tell you that I guess that training hard for marathons may not be the best idea for conception, but I'm sure you're aware of this!

Totally...it was one of those things I just did after my failed IVF cycle...sort of on a whim and if I knew what I knew now I would never have signed up for it. It not only puts stress on my body but also mentally, it's exhausting and I am not even half way through the training plan.

@Dashka, thanks for your kind words. I just can't imagine how it has been for you for that passed 11 years but it is good that you have an adopted daughter. I have approached DH about adopting but he doesn't seem keen on the idea. I hate being unexplained but after IVF I am wondering if it had anything to do with my low AMH.

Reiki sessions . I'm a Karuna Reiki Master-Teacher (4 levels past Usui RMT -not my prof job though) just certified this past year in Glastonbury, UK (attuned at Stonehenge - was AWESOME!). AND got to meet 3 of these BNB ladies (Dwrgi, Butterfly & LadyH) while there - met in Bath, UK & bathed in the "healing waters" that supposedly got Queen Mary pregnant after dealing w/infertility (funny thing is none of us even knew that until afterwards!). Kismet is Reiki Prac. & Dashka is thinking about becoming cert. (I get so excited when I see someone acknowledge reiki - it is the coolest, eh?)

Can I ask what was your FSH, then? So, you did all the clotting & immunes tests too, or did they not do those? Any anatomical tests (HSG, SHG, hysteroscopy or laproscopy)? Sorry, just getting a feel for what you've done.

But Dwrgi hit the nail on the head & I second her advice. It sounds like you defo need to work on egg quality anyway, so if you really want to go for it, I would spend the $ on the supps. I had just posted DHEA studies in POst #16605 if you want to check them out (under Nessaw). Supposed to be great for us .

I really think beside clotting & lack of folate, my eggs were sh*t. I actually NTNP about 12 yrs - I don't think I ever mentioned that here? So did that entire egg/hormone regimen (Vitex, CoQ10, Omega 3's, DHEA, RJ & Bee pollen) & AMH actually went up prior to me hitting 4 mos. In the 4th month I got a lil surprise.

Not saying that will happen to all but for some of us - it may just be a matter of a lil boost in the egg dept & is so worth a try before too late?

Oh, I am so happy that someone else is into Reiki Especially a Reiki Master. I often talk about my session in my journal but I just started sessions in November and just had 7 sessions before Christmas and one this year. I have gotten so much out of my sessions. The girl who does the sessions said in my last session that I need to focus more on my spirituality as I have the gift of reading Angel cards professionally. I also have been told that I am an Earth Angel. So after this marathon is over I am thinking of maybe doing Reiki Level 1. My work colleague just did her Level 1 at the weekend too and it sounds exciting. I just know this is the way to go for me. I told think many people understand it unless they have tried it.

My FSH in 2010 was 5.9 u/L. What is the clotting and immunes tests then? I am not sure if I have had these done but at the start of my LTTTC journal, I have listed all my test results in my journey. I did have a HSG which I found out I had a tilted uterus and everything was ok. I haven't had any of those other tests. After my HSG the only other option they gave me after that was IVF.

I will have a look into all the supplements but I have heard about some side effects of DHEA. Is it true you start getting a lower voice and facial hair etc?

Thanks for all the help ladies. I am still reading through the pages of this thread from when I last posted, it's a busy thread.

 

[padbrat]

Hi Irish,

I am no expert, but I can answer some of your questions.

The Folic Acid that Dwrgi is talking about is a higher dose than available commercially. The amount is 5mg and you will need to get it prescribed by your GP, however, most GP's are quite happy to prescribe it. My Consultant told me it has been proven to aid fertility.

My Hubby took Wellman and I would recommend it along with Pregnacare Preconceive for you. As with the folic acid you need to start 3 months prior to TTC ideally.

Yes baby aspirin is widely available. It is just a low dose of aspirin - 75mg in the UK (I think the US are at 81mg). You can get this in Boots, Tesco etc.

Cyclogest (progesterone) is not available on line, it is prescription only. Again, ask your GP to prescribe it. You can get low dose progesterone in a cream online however - Lils can tell you more.

The clotting tests are something that again, your GP will have to refer you for. The immune tests are more tricky in the UK. There is some research being done (spearheaded by Mr Shehata at Epsom and St Heliers) which suggests that during pregnancy a woman's immune system can attack the baby and kill it, resulting in first tri losses. This is combated by steroids called prednisolone. The usual strength is 25mg, however, this is very hard to get your GP to prescribe. If proven that you have high NK cells and you are under Mr Shehata's care he will prescribe this for you.

Basically I would say you need to have a frank talk with your GP. I found I had to be very informed and also very firm in what I wanted. GP's needed convincing that I was serious about having a child and it was affecting my quality of life as much of these drugs are fairly expensive.

 

[Irish_eyes]

Thanks padbrat,

I thought after my GP referring me over 2 years that he would just say there is nothing more that he could do if IVF didn't work for me. Although my GP is a nice man and easy to approach so I suppose there is no harm in asking him about the Folic Acid and progestrone. I could say with me getting older and the risks involved if I was to get pregnant hence me asking for a higher dose of folic acid. I am not sure what he would say about the progestrone and I am not sure what to tell him if he asks why I think I need it.

I have never had a bfp so I can't say I have any problems with my immune system attacking anything...well what I know of anyway. But not sure what the clotting tests are and Mr Shehata is a bit far as I live in Northern Ireland but thanks for the recommendation.

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[purplelou]

There are a lot of out and closet chart stalkers here!

I'm outed

Dwrigi--Thanks for your stellar update. I am in utter disbelief at how many are expecting!!! Congratulations to you all.. You are strong women for sticking through this and fighting hard. Just goes to show that we will all be mothers because we are going to pursue it no matter what. And those little babies are going to be the most cherished and loved babies in the world.

It is so funny when I hear anyone else is pregnant, I want to barf--not all of you though. I am truly elated for you. You all have me thinking I am going straight IVF after we adopt our first

As for adoption. We have all of the paperwork done which took a good 7 months. We are in the U.S. and pursing private adoption, so the process goes something like this:
We go live after the agency confirms they have everything they need-should be next week.

Our agency will then activate our website and begin offering our profile to birth mothers who are considering adoption. This process is really controlled by the birth mother. They may select based on any criteria they wish. There is no waiting list or anything like that so you have to really try to market yourself to reduce your wait time.

Once a birth mother has expressed interest in you, you can call and speak with them. They set up a meeting for the birth parent(s) and adoptive parents to meet. Then both parties decided whether or not they want to officially "match".

Once matched, you are off the market for other birth mothers. So you wait for the baby to be born and pray that she does not change her mind. Once the baby is born, the birth parent(s) can sign the paperwork if they still want to pursue adoption.

If she sticks with plan A, you take your baby home and the adoption is legalized in a couple of months. If she decides to parent the baby herself, you go back live and start all over again.

Sorry to be so long winded, but it is quite a process. We are praying we get picked quickly by someone who is due in 4 weeks, has not used drugs, is bright, and easy to work with... We will settle for willing to give us a human.

ipen -wow, it's a long process! I never realised that a birth mom could pick her babies parents! It doesn't happen like that in the uk. Interesting to see the differences. Can I ask.... Would you be having an open or closed adoption? I hope there is a pregnany lady out there who is just waiting for. Your website to pop up so she can pick you!

Obviously I am already considering the "Why don't I have a daddy" question even though my child will know other kids without daddies. I have kind of been thinking for a while that I will probably be the only mommy, though, but I didn't feel like I could wait around any longer and see how my relationship was going to work out. We don't live together. I know this is going to be my family's first question even though they are supportive of me in general. I have already decided how I will answer that question, both to them and to the potential child when it comes up, but it does weigh on me every time I read stuff about how horrible it is to bring a child into the world without a father, or at least without two parents. Sometimes I think that it would be better to provide a home for a child who is already born rather than to bring another one into the world who will only have one parent, but I could only afford to go through the foster care system, and I am not sure that I'm ready to provide for an older child with special needs, which is all that I would qualify for as a single woman of my age. If I don't get pregnant maybe I will try that route later, but I feel like I need to give this one a chance before it's too late, even if this isn't quite what I pictured my relationship situation to be when I was doing this. I never thought there was anything wrong with being gay, but it's really hurtful to read some of the stuff out there sometimes. I imagine those of you doing IVF and other extraordinary measures have some idea, because I've also read stuff where people ask why you go to the trouble and say that you should also just adopt.

I think that a child needs love most of all! If tats from 2 moms or 2 dads, or a mom and a dad, or a single mom or dad, so long as they are loved, it doesn't matter! With all you are going through to have your longed for baby, who would say you would make a bad mommy?!
Plus, even those of us in "traditional" relationships/families, don't know what will happen in the future. If something happened to me, I know my baby would be loved by dh and by other family members..she would be fine.

Awwww thanks Dwrgi and LadyH for the well wishes. I can say I would not recommend the experience lol

Aww Emily. I am afraid I take a very simplistic approach when it comes to adoption of children. Just because you can give birth/get a woman pregnant doesn't mean you will be good parents. Does a baby care about the person who cares and loves them sexual preferences? Nope. Baby just wants to be cared for, loved, given attention and all the opportunities possible to grow into a fantastic person.

Yes, other people have different views... there is not a lot you can do about that.

I think most of us on this thread have faced to some extent the effect of others expectations and views on us. For myself, there is still such a stigma attached to M/C and I have suffered 6. I have been told by my own family that I should have given up, that I was stupid to put myself through it time and time again etc etc... and you dare not tell most people the full extent of what you experience because of their reaction.

It is tough. I believe the hardest roads can bring the greatest rewards.... just need plenty of hope hope hope to get through it!

Isn't it sad that there is this horrible stigma attached to MC! Things would be so much easier and maybe a tiny bit less painful if we could easily discuss this stuff or tell others what has happened. After all, a MC is not the fault of anyone! Same should be said for infertility too I think!
Glad you are feeling better! I think in a crisis you can't beat the nhs! It's so underfunded (well actually there's a lot of money wasted) that some things are not well funded (ivf etc)

Pebble - hope you are having fun on your trip! That was a mahoosive post!!

Someone (maybe Emily) said about saving the cbfm sticks. You can actually keep one that you have used and which gve a low result, and use it again (don't re-pee, just poke the stick in the machine) on days you know will be low...ie if you always get asked for a stick cd6....or after your peaks have finished, you will always get lows. If you were up to more than 10 sticks when your peak happened, the machine will automatically ask for sticks the next 10 days! (it likes batches of 10) so you could save a bunch of sticks by just feeding machine with an already used one.
Hope that makes sense!

Huge hugs to everyone else

 

[purplelou]

Where can you buy preseed?

Right DH and I are just on generic multivitamins. Contemplating something more specific to pregnancy/fertility. I would need to switch to a prenatal anyways

CD 6 and temp jump was minor today. We tried to BD but DH has ED and we had trouble without lube (normally use saliva, which we've read isn't good for sperm). He's pulled out the Viagra to be ready for CD8. Man, I hope I o this month!

Not sure where you are, but I know amazon has it.
It you are in the uk, boots does conceive plus which is the same

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[owl35]

Hello lovely ladies!

Padster - glad you are ok. How scary!

Lot's of posts these past days so I have to catch up first.

Skiing was a lot of fun. Holy cow was it cold yesterday -2F/-18C. We had to call it quits after just 2h of skiing because my body was frozen and wouldn't warm up anymore. I think I broke my second toe when I smashed my toes against my boot. I taped it up good today and it doesn't hurt too much when walking. I will try to run later today. If that works I'm sure it's not broken.

The BCP makes my face break out! I haven't had pimples that size since I was a teenager Still don't have a new RE yet but I have 3 more weeks to decide on one before I start with the injections.

I hope you all have a great week!

 

[JennyEc]

Hello Everyone. I'm new here. Basically I'm trying to get some support for myself. I'm 42 years old and I'm currently TTC through donor sperm. A friend of mine has agreed to donate for me, so at present I'm not going down the IUI, IVF route, although I may do. I was in a relationship with someone, who decided that he didn't want children, at least not now, and I didn't have time to wait for him to become ready. So I ended the relationship and I'm going down the donor route. It was a very tough decision, but I really believe it was the right thing to have done.

Anyhow, I've just done my first cycle and I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant. AF isn't due till Friday, but I did one of those 6 days early tests today and it was BFN. I got quite a bit of twinges which I thought were implantation pains around day 8 and 9, and felt a bit woozy, but it may well have been wishful thinking.

I suppose I'm joining this site because I can see that if I don't have somewhere to share this journey, I am going to go nuts waiting for 2 weeks every month. The days seem to creep by. I do feel like everything else has become unimportant in my life other than getting pregnant. I'm still trying to keep up with my hobbies (running, piano etc) and I'm working, but I feel very distracted.

I'd love to get chatting with all you ladies, so please do drop me a line so I can save my sanity!!

 

[padbrat]

Twig I had cyclogest from BFP not OV. So if you are not pregnant your GP may question why you need it. I would also say that Mr S is really the option if you have had repeated losses.

Purps I absolutely agree with you. It is like the way people used to react to cancer 20 years ago...

Owl the BCP did the same to me when i was doing DE! It doesn't last for long and is another step to hopefully getting your BFP!

Welcome Jenny! I think many of us can understand your situation! Are you taking any prenatals and folic acid?

 

[chickenchaser]

Welcome Jenny, you have found the most knowledgeable ladies on this site (not me, I'm still relatively new to all this, but some of the other ladies here know it all, in a good way) What will have though is loads of understanding and we genuinely care for each other.
I hope your stay here is short but if not your very welcome and I'm sure you will soon feel at home. XXX

 

[padbrat]

Aww Chicken you are no newbie on here sweetie xxx

 

[chickenchaser]

Ah bless you Pad, I still feel my knowledge is tiny compared to you guys. XXX

 

[Butterfly67]

Wow so many posts to catch up on

Ok so I just want to say I am reading everything but I have a memory like a sieve so I can't remember wht I was going to reply apart from welcome Jenny, I was in a similar boat to you when I started a couple of years ago but you have a year on me. Good luck, I think you have made the right decision

Pad, wow that sounds super scary, so glad you are ok

:wave: waves at everyone else and tries to remember

 

[purplelou]

Hi Jenny and welcome!
You have come to the right place here to save your sanity! Mine was rescued on many occasions by the lovely ladies here!



Pad -exactly! Mental health problems are a similar thing...like it's anyones fault or an embarrassment if you suffer with depression or whatever!

 

[BlooBelle]

Hello, I just wanted to introduce myself. I am 37 and ttc #1 with my DH who is 39. We have been married for 2 years, been together 5, sort of trying for 4. I have never been pregnant, why is a mystery. When I say sort of trying, I mean I am terrible of tracking, I can barely remember when my last AF was let alone remember to take my temp everyday! I am making a commitment to temp next cycle. I think I am a couple of days past ovulation now if my terrible calculations are correct! Also, we went to a fertility doc here who has started checking my blood and my hubby is doing a SA, all of which we will get the results of this week although the nurse said everything so far looked pretty normal.
I have read through a lot of the postings going way back here and you ladies really are an inspriation to me!

 

[purplelou]

Hi bloo and welcome
It is a pain In the bottom to try anD remember to temp and chart....but it does work if you are not sure about ov. Maybe if you get into a pattern with it, it'll become easier! ( I know I used to sleep-temp at times )