ttc after a d&c

[lilesMom]

Hi ladies

I have an almost three year old daughter, decided we were ready for number 2 so started trying in August and got pregnant straight away, just as we did with our daughter.

Last week at almost 9 weeks I started spotting, went to doc and baby had not grown at all from 6 weeks. Had my D&C on Thursday. Have stopped bleeding now and just had mild cramps which have gone. Doc has advised early miscarriage is unformtunately very common, and that he has sent everything off for analysis but does not expect to find anything wrong, it is just "one of those things'.

He said we should wait one to two cycles before trying again. I know that we need to try sooner than later as we are not spring chickens any more and it becomes harder with age, but I feel absolutely terrified at he prospect of going through this again. How do you gather the courage to go forward?

im so sorry for ur loss hon, it is so tough, its the worst thing i have ever gone through. bethany is right, in my case its not really strength its necessity, we either go on or fold up and id prefer to go on xxxxxxx
its not easy but we do get through it xxxxxxx
this place is great for support x
i waited 3 months but that was cos i have slight liver problem, if i hadnt this i would have only waited one cycle. my first af was totally weird, my second was more normal and my third was pretty much back to normal. so i felt like one cycle was needed but that is totally just my opinion. sometimes the wait killed me, but it did pass and first month i tried i got my bfp best of luck hon, big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[jen435]

LOL you ladies are great!! I was just on last night and feel like I missed a TON not to mention my minds mush!

Amy your coworker is very annoying. Id like to take bethanys advice and hit her with a stick for you!! She wont be missed for the next three weeks thats for sure! Maybe you can have other conversations with the other ladies without her butting in... As far as materity leave thats very nice you get it. I wouldnt leave either. Is it paid leave or just job protection leave? Here in pa its just job protection if there are more then 100 employees. Since I work in dentistry I have no time off even if im sick or want to go on vacation. Your such a trooper putting up with her!

Angel agreeing with bethany about all softcup info. I had that thump also. Just means it was secured properly!! I think its great how the doctors are helping you with ovulation and concieving!!! Praying it works for you this cycle!!!

Bethany you never know you could fall pregnant this cycle! But its good that thailand is right around the corner because it gives you something to look forward too. Your rainbow babys coming and so it thailand. Im so glad your dh booked that trip for the two of you!!!

 

[lilesMom]

hye jen any news on ur tests x

 

[lilesMom]

i spent the day with my niece and her week old baby, he is a cutie, he loves cuddles

 

[jen435]

Mominlondon i am very sorry to hear of your loss Lossing a baby isnt anything id ever want anyone to experience and it is very hard to cope but these ladies are correct we must go on and try for our rainbow babies when you are ready. I too was told to wait 2 cycles to let your body get back to normal and to help build up your uterine wall but as these ladies said you can try again when your ready as long as you wont have any regrets with the outcome. two weeks after my d&c my doctor cleared me to start dtd again. the reason i had to wait was so i wouldnt get an infection so your body goes through so much after a loss. I too took 3 cycles to normalize and feel pregnant my 4th cycle after the d&c. Wishing you comfort and the strength to get through this hard time. I hope your doing okay. We are here for you if you need us! There are soo many lovely ladies to help you on this site and we all have experienced many things.

 

[jen435]

aww laura thats sooo cute!!! Cant wait for pictures of us holding our babies!!

As for results no calls yet Im still waiting and im getting very impatient as I see it getting later and later. The office closes at 5pm and its almost 3pm. I called them at 2pm and left voicemail so im trying to be patient and not be too pushy like i want to be. I am being reassured though that maybe ill be okay. I had lunch today (vegs with a little pasta) and water... I took my prenatal vits before I ate. Well i finished my lunch drank some water and bam up it came! It was very fast and i was so glad i had my bowl next to me still. Okay sorry gross I know. But im taking it as a good sign and trying to stay positive as the office takes it sweet time...

How are you? Any symptoms?

 

[lilesMom]

im laughing here now, cos i was worrying myself last few days cos the pully feelin isnt as strong but i went a few hrs without food today and i felt awfull ,like i was gonna puke or faint, but i was happy about it cos being sick is a good sign what r we like, delgihted cos we r sick ha ha xxx
hope they get back to u soon hon, the wait is yucky xxx but thats def a great sign x

 

[lilesMom]

its cool we r so close in time, cant believe its only 1 day difference in our dates

 

[jen435]

I know its amazing!!! You had a bfp before me so I think your going sooner then me!! But still so exciting!! As for pulling I have none anymore. Symptoms are so sporadic!! But I love having them!! They make us feel okay

 

[lilesMom]

jen i was just checking out ur other page count down one, u r so thin, i wish i was so thin , u look fab x its a nice page, i might start one too but think il wait til first scan to be sure x

 

[mommylov]

LOL you ladies are great!! I was just on last night and feel like I missed a TON not to mention my minds mush!

Amy your coworker is very annoying. Id like to take bethanys advice and hit her with a stick for you!! She wont be missed for the next three weeks thats for sure! Maybe you can have other conversations with the other ladies without her butting in... As far as materity leave thats very nice you get it. I wouldnt leave either. Is it paid leave or just job protection leave? Here in pa its just job protection if there are more then 100 employees. Since I work in dentistry I have no time off even if im sick or want to go on vacation. Your such a trooper putting up with her!

Angel agreeing with bethany about all softcup info. I had that thump also. Just means it was secured properly!! I think its great how the doctors are helping you with ovulation and concieving!!! Praying it works for you this cycle!!!

Bethany you never know you could fall pregnant this cycle! But its good that thailand is right around the corner because it gives you something to look forward too. Your rainbow babys coming and so it thailand. Im so glad your dh booked that trip for the two of you!!!

Jen, so sorry you havent heard anything regarding your results. I too would take the upchuck as a good sign! heheh FX hun and I really hope they get back to you soon!
No sick time?? What do they expect you to do when you get sick? For me here at this job, I would get job protection, use all the vacation I have saved up which at the moment is 40 hours, 100% pay for Weeks 2 – 5 and 70% for Week 6 then I can go on FMLA for an additional 6 weeks but that would be unpaid. I worry that if I start a new job, then you dont get paid maternity leave unless you have been there for atleast a year and I expect to fall this month so that wouldnt work so I have to suck it up.

 

[lilesMom]

I know its amazing!!! You had a bfp before me so I think your going sooner then me!! But still so exciting!! As for pulling I have none anymore. Symptoms are so sporadic!! But I love having them!! They make us feel okay

yeah my boobs have been sore on and off as well, and its when they arent sore that im less happy
overall i have a positve feeling though, hoping so much it all goes well for us x

 

[lilesMom]

amy so hope u get ur bfp and can escape colleaguezilla for a while as well as being really happy with ur bfp xx
im lucky with my job like that, its a government job so i get 12 weeks paid sick leave a yr and then social welfare part pay after that and 6 months mat leave paid, thats why i didnt take last redundancy cos i stil had some loan left and was planning on being pregnant soon. il see when they come round again, id prob just take it cos dont wanna work there this preg .

 

[mommylov]

amy so hope u get ur bfp and can escape colleaguezilla for a while as well as being really happy with ur bfp xx
im lucky with my job like that, its a government job so i get 12 weeks paid sick leave a yr and then social welfare part pay after that and 6 months mat leave paid, thats why i didnt take last redundancy cos i stil had some loan left and was planning on being pregnant soon. il see when they come round again, id prob just take it cos dont wanna work there this preg .

Oh wow thats awesome!!!! I would stay at that job all I can! There are some great companies out here. All my life I have always worked at companies for yrs and have never really job hopped.. stuck with them for awhile. Then we moved here and I had to go through a temp agency since I knew no one here but got a job right away. Worked there for 2 weeks then we decided we liked the northern colorado area better to buy a home in so we bought lad abd built up here so I had to leave that job and get one here which I got through the same agency and then this company hired me right on within a few weeks so I really think there are jobs out there, just a matter of having to look. DH's job pays great but has horrible benefits so we are mine which is another reason why I have to wait. He has been with his company for years and will be looking into moving to something that has better benefits since I wont be working come lo#2. Oh well, we'll see what happens.

I have a great feeling about this one for you too!!! Im so glad to hear that everything is going well so far. I hope you have fun with your fam today and get lots of rest!!!!!

 

[jen435]

Wow!!! Amy and Laura that is sooo great!!! You have so much time and pay for most!! Definately stay if you can help it Amy!!! Thats incredible!! We dont have opportunity. If im sick I suck it up and go in. Work my butt off and rest on my days off. So I wont be working much at all... I work two days this week. My dh is upset that I wont be making money to help with expenses but I explained to him a healthy LO is most important and he agreed. So Laura im sure you feel the same way!

Thank you Laura!! I will be updating the website page very often!! Ill be posting bump pics to every week!! Along with making up crazy milestone stories and journal stories! The best think about it is I had the website with Liam and I was about to keep it in the history but once I changed status to pregnancy loss you didnt have to look or deal with it unless you go back into the setup and look at it if you wanted. Only website I found to do that. I hope you get the courage to make one yourself!!! Youll be just fine Laura!! Im praying for everyone on this thread daily!

 

[lilesMom]

yeah im mainly staying for the benefits the last while and ive been sick so much i dont think anyone else would have me i do work hard though, im one of those people who likes working but i have been sick loads so havent been best employee, its one of the few places who wouldnt have let me go before now, but on the flip side i think its partly my job that makes me sick so much so....... for now , im alright and will wait and see what happens later and make decisions then xx

im like u in that i stick with jobs , at least for few yrs anyway. its just time to change for me now. would u be happy in ur current place if not for ur colleague?
its apity she is so in ur face and u cant avoid her xx
i think ur right that u cant really say it to her , she prob wouldnt take it as help xxx

we cant plan everything cos life gets in the way, we can do our best and see how we go xxx

 

[lilesMom]

Wow!!! Amy and Laura that is sooo great!!! You have so much time and pay for most!! Definately stay if you can help it Amy!!! Thats incredible!! We dont have opportunity. If im sick I suck it up and go in. Work my butt off and rest on my days off. So I wont be working much at all... I work two days this week. My dh is upset that I wont be making money to help with expenses but I explained to him a healthy LO is most important and he agreed. So Laura im sure you feel the same way!

Thank you Laura!! I will be updating the website page very often!! Ill be posting bump pics to every week!! Along with making up crazy milestone stories and journal stories! The best think about it is I had the website with Liam and I was about to keep it in the history but once I changed status to pregnancy loss you didnt have to look or deal with it unless you go back into the setup and look at it if you wanted. Only website I found to do that. I hope you get the courage to make one yourself!!! Youll be just fine Laura!! Im praying for everyone on this thread daily!

do ye get any state sick pay r anything, we have its called stamps here, u work a certain num of weeks in previous 2 yrs and u can claim them then while sick. but ur def right being down money is so worth it, il get 6 weeks pay cos i been out already with mc, im on my 5th week out now so it stops soon, il just get state part pay but its worth it for my LO . i also obvs dont get my premiums and stuff , just basic pay while im out. but it is very good that i have it at all. i mst look into my mortgage protection as well and check if i can get it to pay my mortgage while out
that web site is very cute. so r ur baby cookies

 

[mommylov]

yeah im mainly staying for the benefits the last while and ive been sick so much i dont think anyone else would have me i do work hard though, im one of those people who likes working but i have been sick loads so havent been best employee, its one of the few places who wouldnt have let me go before now, but on the flip side i think its partly my job that makes me sick so much so....... for now , im alright and will wait and see what happens later and make decisions then xx

im like u in that i stick with jobs , at least for few yrs anyway. its just time to change for me now. would u be happy in ur current place if not for ur colleague?
its apity she is so in ur face and u cant avoid her xx
i think ur right that u cant really say it to her , she prob wouldnt take it as help xxx

we cant plan everything cos life gets in the way, we can do our best and see how we go xxx

Hmm I like what I actually do but I dont feel like I have any friends here. She was the only one I felt I was friends with here but she is so hot and cold and Im just finding out things about her that I dont like. She became comfortable with me and would vent and all but then I would find that those that she would "vent" about, she would act so fake with. I think there is a big difference between venting and talking s*** and Im coming to find out that she talks s***. Other than her, the rest of the people here are 65+ so I have nothing in common with them and they all seem bitter and tired all the time Im glad that we moved here because I feel it was the right thing for dh and I and our future lo's but really miss my friends. It can get very lonley in that respect. My BFF moved here 4 years ag and feels the same way and her and I live 60+ miles away from eachother.

 

[jen435]

Laura no PA doesnt protect you. Its either you work for a company with benefits or you have nothing. Even so my friend works at the hospital and she wasnt even paid when she had her LO. So she took the mandatory 6weeks off to recover unpaid and went straight back to work. Its okay just nice that she was able to heal and come back to a job. I wont have the opportunity so LO better come on thursday so I can be back to work the following weds that way my job doesnt replace me! (i am not protected since he only has 4 employees and because of that I couldnt even collect unemployment if he replaces me since his business cant run without me there) Ill have to talk to him about possibly having a friend temp for me or something and him not replacing me. idk if itll work though dentists are a little strick in their ways.

Amy hang tight. Soon youll have your LO and then your lil LO will make daycare friends and youll have mommy friends!!! I know here on facebook we have a webpage for mommies to be and moms that swap, exchange, sell baby stuff and they also make playdates for their children. they meet at public places like bounce U and appleblossom and their children play and moms become friends! Perhaps there is something in your area like this?

 

[jen435]

Thank you Laura! My back was killing me after making all those cookies and icing from scratch!! So worth it though!! Ill be doing cupcakes for gender annoucement I think.... Not exactly sure how I want to approach it yet (I had the idea to do that with my first and now my husbands friend announced hers that way so idk if i want to do it that way because she will say I copied her grr... So im trying to come up with a more creative idea! Maybe cakepops or lollipops I can make them homemade also. Ill probably do cupcakes and something else.... idk yet... Have til christmas to decide!!!