ttc after a d&c

[jen435]

amy im not going anywhere. I keep distracted by u ladies and this thread keeps me going.. Im so thankful for u all. ive just been tryin to stay clear of complaining is all since u ladies have alot to deal with and i like to imagine everything perfect... Though we know life never is.

How are u today? I am soo excited for u in 14-13days. Feels like an eternity to wait but to know ur body is regulating and gettin better it makes me feel more confident that ull concieve a healthy lo soon!

 

[mommylov]

You shouldnt feel like you have to filter what you say here or hold anything in . Thats what brought us all together to begin with . We are here for you Jen and anytime you need to vent, just vent away god knows I do ! You have had many things thrown at you and I cant imagine what you are going through but I know I wouldnt be able to not get it out and I hope that you dont feel like you cant or shouldnt here.

Im ok, just really on an emotional rollercoaster today . I went into this cycle so optomistic and then I got hit with the pesimistic stick today . Im about 4dpo and feel out ... I have never felt like that this early on before. Maybe the multiple losses and then the last pregnancy being a nightmare with the ER and changing drs and all . THEN finding out something is wrong. It just makes me feel like Im at my breaking point . I should be happy that they found something and were able to give me meds to fix it. It should make me feel better about this cycle. I was just telling Horsey last night how when they find something wrong its almost comforting and I woke up this morning and its like that all went out the window for me . Im sorry, I dont mean to rant and probably sound crazy but these are really the thoughts and feelings Im having right now. Im just trying to take a deep breath and ignore all of it right now so that I can keep whats left of my sanity today .

How are you feeling today? Are you working tomorrow?

 

[jen435]

Angel hope ur new semester goes well tomorrow is finally weds too! Fxd for a heartbeat and beautifully growing lo.

Tash try not to stres over messes. Men are pigs. Roomie knew when u concieved he would be moving out so goodbye to him and one less thing to think about. Ur hubby cooks so dont sweat the dishes if he doesnt do them right away it doesnt mean u have to. Stay relaxed calm and imagine ur lil bean sticking to ur wall growing. Soon ull be at ur obgyns hearing a beautiful heartbeat.

Moms really have the hardest jobs to support provide clean cook house and carry a baby while trying to think positive and stressfree for.our los etc. Then when they are here we are rewarded with sleepless nights a beauiful crying baby we want to make happy. Our job its so important hard and rewarding. I can relate to jealousy of girls that have a stress free pregnancy in the sense they can enjoy ultrasounds and checkups. I get excited yes but so much fear is also there ... I called my doctor they said report went to obgyn i dont see them til the 18th. Prayin for a call back. Also waiting from a text for work to know my hours. I can tell they dont want me there anymore so they cutting my hours instead of firing me. I could collect if they fired me so its easier to give me 3-4hr shifts or say i have no pts for the day. All well all i can do is wait on dr and my job. My mil used my husbands rent $ that he gave her and ordered us the babys crib i wanted. It should be here next week. So thats kinda exciting. At least my baby will have place to sleep. She ordered it from amazon and i recall bethanys amazon experience sooo im hoping it comes in good condition and makes it to my house.

Laura how are u?

 

[jen435]

Aww amy i know that ur scared of thinking positive to be hurt so its ur mind protecting urself. Perfectly normal sweety. We put so much pressure on that bfp we forget to enjoy it bc of all our bad luck. You have great doctors amazing husband u where given anwsers and ways to correct then and increase ur fertility all the right direction. Ur bfp that stays is coming and u must keep ur eye on the prize even with all the bumps. U will make it and we will talk about ur struggles of getting there as a thing of the past when we see ur sweet lo

 

[mommylov]

Thats nice that your MIL did something nice for you and the baby for a change. Ive ordered TONS of things from Amazon and for the mostpart have not been dissapointed.

 

[mommylov]

Thanks Jen, Im really hoping so.

 

[jen435]

Yes she surprised me.

I know good things will come for all of us. U bethany horsey all need bfps. We need laura angel tash jess to have healthy los at full term. This is all in the making for 2013. Its going to happen. It has too!

 

[mommylov]

yup, just gotta dig DEEP I suppose and find that faith.

I as talking to dh about it just now on Google IM and he is super supportive and optomistic. He said "u have to just think about what we know now, and everything we didnt know before" which I know is true. Trying to focus on the good and things that we are blessed with and let it be.

Im so glad that she did that for you. You so deserve to be happy!

 

[TTCSecrets]

Thanks girls you really keep me going.. Well im at home on the settee and chris wont let me lift a finger. Which is nice but im so bored and feel useless. I cant believe how tired i am.. Dont remember being this tired last time.. And im worrying baout finances too Jen, i barely have enough money to live on after all my bills are done, so im tryin to figure out how to clear most of it off in the next three months so i can start saving a lil bit ready for baby...

Well, my sisters birthday presents came through the post today, bought her two shamballa bracelets in her favourite colours,a gift card for her favourite restaurant, a book, some pants and socks with cute pictures on.. And ive bought a cheap baby grow, and ive written the following .(sorry if u think its vulgar lol but its my humour haha )

On the front it says Auntie Lula.. Again!!!

Then on the back it says..
Coming to a fanny near you! September 2013!


HAHAHA So im wrapping them all ip individually and i will give her all her presents and leave the baby grow til last, partly because then it might make her forget htat her presents are late hehe

Plan? LOL! xxx

 

[mommylov]

super cute Tash! Im sure she is going to love it

 

[jen435]

Love the idea tash! She will love it

I just called and told husband exactly how i feel. I called work to find out i only have two pts in am and then no pts til afternoon. Ugh. Also my boss was arrested nye and i learned he declared bankrupcy.... Im just going in working and thats it. I learned two girls quit and hr hired two new ones already. I hope business picks up and i get hours asap on my weds. Guess we will see. My husband said why are u crying i was like i wont be able to pay my car payment this month or for anything food life ins car ins student loan etc.... Ugh i have collection bills from agency and now more hospital bills coming for my surgery and hospital stay i just had. This isnt good my husband said i cant float ur bills. I said no will hire me im pregnant!!! I got to wait til july but i said the bills need cash to pay them with life ins car payment student loan... The car ins hosp bills collection agency bills health ins bills etc can go on credit card. But we need cash to pay credit card and i only have a 900 credit card limit. So it wont even help. He is so ignorant. Im rushing july just to work again but ill be job hunting in june as soon as baby is born. Idc if i have to be bread winner i will but i need my car to get to work etc. Im so upset i bought a basic kia car 4yrs ago owe two years on it and its going to be repossed if i dont get work hours im so angry.

 

[TTCSecrets]

oh no jen sounds like dh needs to swallow his pride and get a job or something, how can u be expected to carry the baby do the finances and everything on your own xxx

 

[mommylov]

Oh my Jen! We have all said and I know you know it... DH needs to step up! This is HIS baby too that you are pregnant with. You didnt create her on your own. What is it going to take for him to see that he needs to get a REAL job! Makes me want to come over there and slap some sense into him. You shouldnt be worrying about all this on your own like you do!

 

[jen435]

One more thing that annoys me is he said he been seeing me finacially.unstablr for four years now. I smacked him bc i worked three jobs as soon as i graduated target got rid of.me by reducing my hours to nothing bc i was over qaulified for job so they faded me out.... I filled in for a year full time at endodontist office and then found a pt job at dental office as dental assistant.. Then got hygiene license and got experirnce thru temping with lots of money coming in he was excitex seeing what i was bringing home. So was i. Had a great summer with a dmall savings and was payin down credit card. Then i found prem job for weds and still temped. In fall temping stopped due to pregnancy. I had my weds was able to pay my bills and use savings to pay credit card ... December surgery screwed me over and now no work hours available for me.... Idk sorry tryin to make sense of this. Then he tells me he has no money and his business is in trouble. But the financial problem is just my fault. Im so pissed.

 

[jen435]

Well he says that i pushed getting pregnant on him and he couldnt even enjoy it.

I know u ladies asked about me leavin to my parents for a while. I cant stay with them they first dont have a sparr room or bed and would expect rent even if it was for two nights. My parents are nice but arent giving. At 16 i had a job and had to pay for a shower to do my laundry for a ride to work for my own food. Everything i used had a.fee once i got my first job. Not condeming my parents ways but i cant afford to stay there atm.

 

[jen435]

As.for baby sitting my husband will have to watch her whilr i work then when i get home i watch her while.he goes up his moms. His mom or my parent cant babysit. My mom works fulltime lives an hour and half away my dad is already raising a three year old is.very.sick and disabled. My husband doesnt trust my parents either with our child.or.our dog. His mom works fulltime also and thinks i should take her to daycare and be able to pay for it. So whatever i wont have a baby sitter and.if.trav gets a job at 8-10an hour itll.never be enough to cover day care. I make more money in one day then.he would in two.days. So its better for me to work.

 

[jen435]

Sorry i think im finished being annoying. It helps to speak my mind rather then eat at me. Thank u for letting me rant here!

 

[mommylov]

They would charge you!??!!? Is it because they cant afford to have you? Im so sorry Jen, If we lived closer, I would tell you to come stay in our spare room. Thats just terrible that your husband would say those things to you and Im glad you smacked him! And as far as "pushing him into pregnancy", unless you had a gun to his head and said give me your sperm NOW then you cant be blamed. It was a joint decision and if he didnt want to have a baby, then he shouldnt have gone with it. Dont for a second think that is your fault. He shouldve had the balls to say or do something. Im sorry but Im just furious with him and feel so bad that you are having to go through this. As moms/moms-to-be, I cant imagine that we would ever not be there for our kids. Not knocking your parents and I certainly dont mean to offend with regards to them or your husband but you need all the support you can get esp right now. They should all know this and be there for you. It sounds like you have worked very hard with school and jobs and the one time that you arent able to be completly on your own and need support, things are falling apart. Its not right to have that burden be on your shoulders all the time and I really hope they step up and realize what they are doing to you xx

 

[mommylov]

No need to thank hun... so glad you got that all off your chest. I see, if its better for you to work vs Travis work then thats one thing but what if he got a real job? Would he be able to make the same as you if not more? Some women are ok with being the bread winner and working while thier hunsbands stay home and I know you mentioned that you dont mind but is that what you really want? Even if you dont mind making more money, if he would get a real job then maybe you guys wouldnt have to struggle and would be more comfortable. Has he EVER thought about that?? Sorry, Im not trying to be pushy but I just want the best for you and dont want you to suffer

 

[aaronswoman79]

Jen, It makes me so sad that you are going through all of this. I am having a hard time understanding all of it. I have so much I feel like saying but I just want to be so careful because of your delicate situation. Maybe your husband needs a man to man talk with a man who has a much different outlook than him and will knock some sense into him. Maybe if he sees how some men are with their wives and family he might change? Because it seems like his family is not influencing him to do the right thing. I'm going to be honest here, if I were in your shoes I might have the patience to wait until after the baby is born to see if he changes, but if he doesn't, I personally would just leave him. But that's just me, you know your husband better than all of us. I just seems like he is adding so much unwanted stress for you. Why doesn't he go and work 2 jobs if he has to? Someone needs to knock some sense into him. I hate seeing you with so much stress, its not good for you or your lo.