hi guys xxxx
leslie my confidence def dipped for a while xx
i even felt weird goin normal places some days for a bit.
i think its cos i was generally feeling down and low and less able to cope with stuff in general xx it picks back up i promise with time xx
allow urself to feel weird and low sometimes,sounds funny but denyin ur grief and pretending ur ok all the time is impossible to keep up. we need our wallow moments too xxxxx i had 2 songs that i used to listen to in my car or on my comp whenever i felt bad , i was guaranteed to bawl but it helped to let it out. xx
they were ed sheerans little bump and celine dion song, im not sure what its called but it was for her little niece who died young and its about lettin her go to be happy.
sorry bit morbid but its my lile song
( lile is what i called my little angel xx)
it felt horrible in a way t give in and cry but i always felt better afterwards.
i had to pul in my car quite a few times over it, for some strange reason i was often ok till i made my car and then i couldnt hold it in anymore,
hait does get better i promise, sometimes u wil stil ave odd bad day but not as often xx
when i think of lile now , i think of her happy and watching over us xx
i swtiched off booby feeding, im back on bottles and expressing
simon is much happier and so am i
he is satisfied and gettin enought o eat and cos of this he is gettin proper sleep , which he really needs and gives me more of a break too
so all good . bf directly just wasnt for me or my nipples
hee hee
has anyone had mastisis? if so how did u know, ive been feeling kinda fluy and boobs a bit achy. i know i should prob just go to doc but it seems like hassle if i dont need to.
i do have low iron and whacky blood pressure so could just be them ????
bethany i strongly support epi decision after my experience but if i do go again later i would get as far as i can without one again first.
i made it though a lot of it with just tens, no pethidine or anything,
had 3 gels , waters broken and few hrs of drip with just tens,
if i had normal delivery i could have done it and it wasnt that bad.
it was just the fact that it went on for 2 days and was on max drip for like a day as well that got me in the end
i wouldnt rule out epi defo cos i loved it when i got it this time, i had just had enough, i couldnt keep it up anymore. i was drained .
lisa bo o to yucky doc but hurray for go ahead xxxxx
best o luck x
jess, jen , zoey and angel how ye doin xxxxxxxxxxxx
amy hugs honey xxxxx love u xxxxxxxxxxxxx
hope everyone is doin well xxxxxxx
hi and hugs to all xxxx
that would be tragic lol. 
. The dosages of pitocin were so high that the epidural did absolutely nothing for the pain. Those nurses were incredibly irresponsible with the pitocin. We kept telling them that the we weren't comfortable with the dosages and they said as long as they don't go over the max dosage of pitocin. When I finally gave birth to Natalie, I had a massive hemorrhage and they almost couldn't get my uterus to clot... very scary (and this happened due to the high dosages of pitocin which can lead to post natal hemorrhage). Hopefully from my experience you don't let the same thing happen to you. For these reasons I am very scared to be induced again. 
