Hi girls, sorry to keep you all waiting. It has been an impossibly long and draining day. I have nothing good to share with you at all. There is a sac measuring 5+1, no yolk, no heartbeat and lots of "debris" in my uterus, which they think is blood. I'm 6+4 today. I basically had to make a decision to terminate the pregnancy on Friday in the operating room, wait until Monday and do it wide awake in my doctor's office or wait it out with the chance of having a miscarriage on the airplane that I'm taking on Tuesday night for my vacation. If it didn't happen on the plane, there would be a chance it would happen on my vacation, the beach perhaps. Lovely choices. Since I've had this procedure both awake and asleep, I opted to be asleep. Being awake for it was the most traumatic experience of my life. Plus that would mean doing it on Monday and then taking a plane on Tuesday. So, I go in this Friday to become un-pregnant.
My doctor was willing to wait to do another scan in a week but she said it really didn't look good. If I didn't have this vacation, I probably would wait it out another week. But honestly, my gut tells me this one isn't mine to keep, so why wait? Plus, the sooner I get this done, the sooner I will get the bleeding over with. I can't go into the ocean while I'm bleeding. I went to Hawaii 4 days after my first loss and couldn't go in the ocean at all. This time I'm going to Cape Cod and all we do is sit on the beach. I'm hoping I'll stop bleeding for part of the trip.
I'm exhausted and empty. Not much more to say. My 5 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Might have some wine.