TTC After A Loss... Race for the BFP! - 211 BFP's!!!

Hey Padbrat!!! How was your trip?? Where in Florida did you go? Why did you not wave to me over here in Alabama? LOL I am still here....getting ready to test this weekend even though I know I'm not pregnant. You know me- just like to waste money HAHAHAHA

hey Chick! Hols were brilliant... went to orlando to check our house out and all was good (phew) then Clearwater (one of my fav places), then Sebastian followed by Daytona Beach (very very bad hangover following a great night out) and ended in Cocoa beach... so all in all pretty damn good! LOL :happydance:

Damn, wish I knew you were in Alabama... could have def given you a little wave and hello!:dohh:

Cos my AF was a week early I was hoping it might have been implantation bleed.... but no, it was def AF... early and heavy:wacko:

But I have all crossed that you have a lovely surprise when you test:hugs:
 
We're finally all moved in. Hubby also booked the plane tickets for vacation and I booked the rental car. Whew.

Still having weird random bleeding that's discouraging and I told hubby today that I feel like I should just give up, because how can I TTC without regular cycles/with irregular bleeding. He said "it's okay. It will eventually work itself out". GRR! I wish it would hurry up and fix already!

:dohh:
 
Padbrat- sounds like you two know how to do it up right!! :happydance: Cool that you have a house in Orlando! That is about 5 hours from me in Alabama. Sorry AF got you not only early, but hard....that big ol witch!!!
Heather- :hugs: I know how hard it is to be patient when all we want is a little beany, but unfortunately we have no other choice sometimes. I wish our bodies would just do what we TELL THEM TO DO!!!!
Sis- thinking bout ya....:hugs::hugs::hugs:
 
Tasha - does that mean there is still a chance or that you are just waiting for things to happen naturally. I had no idea you were still in this horrid limbo. Will they do a D&C if nothing happens on its own?
 
does anybody kno if the free duo fertility tests are any good:shrug:
 
Megg, yes I think taking me off the list is the best idea thank you.

Vickie, I am waiting for things to happen naturally, they want to do a d&c but as you know Honey died from medical negligence and I just cant let healthcare professionals have as much control over me as they would with a general anaesthetic especially as they keep going on about my risks of cardiac arrest due to bleeding being very high because of my anaemia. I had a litre of blood on Monday so those risks should be reduced now (my iron was 4.8 and is now 6.9) but still...:shrug: How are you doing?
 
Sorry CLA, no idea.

Tasha, I'm sorry for what you're going through and what you've been through. :flow: Just take care of yourself so you can heal as quickly as possibly. :hugs:

I'm going to change my testing date to Saturday or Sunday if AF doesn't come sooner than that. Preferably the 8th but we'll see...I'm pretty impatient!
 
Well I got a possitive this morning then I have just got a neg. What's going on??
 
Tasha sorry to hear that. I had to wait a week for a natural MC I knew was coming 5 weeks ago, happened finally at 8 weeks, hope it's not too painful for you, and that it happens soon as then you can start to heal. :hugs:

Don't be afraid to go to hospital if pain too much, they can give you painkillers that are great....I had to. :hugs:
 
CLA have you posted pictures?

Thanks girls, :hugs::hugs: Lucy sorry for what what you went through. I should be eight weeks and two days today, and have now about this for 2 weeks six days, my HCG goes down a little then up a bit more, it is very odd and has never happened with my six other miscarriages.
 
Six miscarriages! I can hardly believe it! What a terrible time for you. Did you have a scan or bleeding? Sometimes people lose a twin and there is still one in there? This happened to my boss. But other times, your body is not ready to let go. My hcg was high for a while after, it only reached zero a week after heavy bleeding etc. I would have been 14 weeks today I have just realised...how wierd.

Thinking of you
:hugs:
 
Ugh, I'd have been 14 wks this Saturday.... I have to stop thinking like this.

Tasha, hugs to you. I can't believe 6 mc, that's just unfair. I am praying for a miracle.
 
Padbrat- sounds like you two know how to do it up right!! :happydance: Cool that you have a house in Orlando! That is about 5 hours from me in Alabama. Sorry AF got you not only early, but hard....that big ol witch!!!
Heather- :hugs: I know how hard it is to be patient when all we want is a little beany, but unfortunately we have no other choice sometimes. I wish our bodies would just do what we TELL THEM TO DO!!!!
Sis- thinking bout ya....:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Damn right I know how to party!! :happydance:

yeah, the house in orlando was one of my wilder ideas as I did the whole thing over the internet with no idea what I was buying!:dohh:.... but all turned out good as house is great and i manage to rent it out most of the year!

5 hours!! That seems ages away for us in little old Blighty... but i know in the states that is no distance at all lol...

Loving your new piccy btw! You look great hun and is that your Hubby as well? :blush:

Should have sorted our admin out and had a meet up! LOL:thumbup:

Tasha... my life chick you have been through it all...so sorry hun:hugs:

Meggy Moo... you had a visit from the PMA Dump truck yet??? LOL
 
Doctor's office just called. My HCG as of Monday is down to 6.9 but they want to repeat the test on the 9th. I did stop bleeding.. this last time, it just bled for one day. I wish it would stop doing that, I want to get busy with hubby again. It's been at least a month since we... and well... :winkwink:

I've been doing okay, but since the moving is over and I'm not so occupied, I am finding myself a little down today. In this weird cynical "nothing will work" mood. I want a friend or someone to come visit me but nobody has. I really need to be more social and get more friends. I really only have a few and they don't seem to want to come see the new place.

:shrug:
 
Megg, yes I think taking me off the list is the best idea thank you.

Vickie, I am waiting for things to happen naturally, they want to do a d&c but as you know Honey died from medical negligence and I just cant let healthcare professionals have as much control over me as they would with a general anaesthetic especially as they keep going on about my risks of cardiac arrest due to bleeding being very high because of my anaemia. I had a litre of blood on Monday so those risks should be reduced now (my iron was 4.8 and is now 6.9) but still...:shrug: How are you doing?

Wow that is really low. Why are you so anaemic - do they know? They said I was anaemic after I lost Isabella as I bled out so much with the retained placenta. I felt like death and my iron was 8.9 so I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

CLA have you posted pictures?

Thanks girls, :hugs::hugs: Lucy sorry for what what you went through. I should be eight weeks and two days today, and have now about this for 2 weeks six days, my HCG goes down a little then up a bit more, it is very odd and has never happened with my six other miscarriages.

That is strange. I really hope they find out what is going on or that is sorts itself out soon. xxx
 
Doctor's office just called. My HCG as of Monday is down to 6.9 but they want to repeat the test on the 9th. I did stop bleeding.. this last time, it just bled for one day. I wish it would stop doing that, I want to get busy with hubby again. It's been at least a month since we... and well... :winkwink:

I've been doing okay, but since the moving is over and I'm not so occupied, I am finding myself a little down today. In this weird cynical "nothing will work" mood. I want a friend or someone to come visit me but nobody has. I really need to be more social and get more friends. I really only have a few and they don't seem to want to come see the new place.

:shrug:

Do you live in IL? I'd visit you! LOL :hugs:

Padbrat - Yes! The PMA Dump Truck did visit! :) It visited me after my doc's appointment!

I'm re-posting from my journal so you don't have to track down what happened. Putting it behind the spoiler because its SO long!
Okay... I got there at 10:25am. There were 2 guys and one woman with 2 children who she didn't seem to need to have any control over waiting already. I really thought I'd never get to see her, as I figured I'd already be in prison for slaying the stupid woman and her obnoxious kids. They were jumping on the chairs, running around, trying to climb the wall while holding on to the receptionist's ledge, panting like dogs, flipping over chairs, playing some "game" where they would hold their hands up to their eyes like binoculars and ask each other "Are you in 1 piece or 2 pieces?" and whatever the other one said was always the wrong answer... This game is very loud, and it went on forever. One of them proceeded to go to the parking lot alone (at maybe 7?) and came back in spilling an entire McDonald's breakfast platter on the floor... pancakes, hashbrown, eggs, etc. Some poor girl came in right after me who had a 10:30am appointment and sat through all of this too. The 2 guys got called in, but I got called in before the woman with the kids or the girl with an appointment... odd, but okay. It was 11:30am I think? So, not ages, but felt like ages.

Anyway, the nurse comes in to do blood pressure and temp and says to me "Do you not have a gynecologist set up yet?" I told her that I didn't have one I liked at the moment. Keep in mind, my paperwork stated my reason for the visit was "discuss lab results" because that was part of it. Anyway, she then says, "Well, you need to get that done, because she can't keep doing this. It isn't her job." She's referring to my doctor, in case you wondered. Odd... Its not my doctor's job to discuss my test results with me? Because, I think it might be!

Well, my blood pressure was 149/84. I wonder why! I was annoyed with the kids, fuming about what the nurse said... OF COURSE IT WAS HIGH!

My doctor comes in and is perfectly nice. I keep my thoughts about the nurse to myself, because I didn't want to taint the appointment with that at the very beginning. First, I explain that I've been eating better and trying to be more active to no avail (my 10lb loss seems to fluctuate on the day... some days its 10lbs, some days its 1lb... I think my scale sucks). Anyway, we talked about that for a bit. She said that she thinks I might be gaining some muscle mass, which I doubt... but it was nice to hear. Then, she said that she also thought I might be retaining some water because of the weather, so I had probably lost even if the scale wasn't showing it. We moved on from there for the moment.

Then, I asked about the 2nd fertility clinic referral. She said they won't even return her calls anymore. So, that's out. She said that some specialty places here (fertility clinics, child psychologists, etc) only accept referrals from ONE of the 3 hospitals. So, they're probably ignoring her because she's not with their "preferred" hospital. What a bunch of shit. Anyway, I told her about the FS I hated leaving the clinic I'd been to and some new guy taking over. She asked me to call right then and get a consult scheduled, so I did. I have an appointment on Aug 28 @ 10:30am.

I asked her about my progesterone level and showed her my chart. She said that she actually wondered if it had been done on the wrong day, because my level was almost double what it had been every other time it was checked. After seeing my chart, she said without question that I had it done 3 days too late. She agrees 100% that I did ovulate and my level barely rises afterward. She confirmed that it could have caused everything, because it probably didn't ever rise enough to sustain an embryo past the very, very beginning stage and never got high enough to have the sharp drop required to instigate the bleed. She all but said "mystery solved." She also agreed with me splitting my chart and calling this CD4, even though there was no bleed other than the super light spotting. Apparently, there wouldn't be much to shed since I probably didn't form much of a lining anyway. So, I really did have it all figured out! :thumbup: Maybe I should just get the degree to make my life easier. :winkwink: Although, she wants to wait for the FS to prescribe the progesterone supplements, because she said they would know more about the dosage and whatnot.

Anyway, we touched back on the weight thing, and she asked if I'd consider not trying this cycle and going back on Phentermine. Well, with the FS appointment coming up, I didn't really want to try this cycle anyway, because I don't have my post-O progesterone supplements... So, it would just end in heartbreak again anyway. Obviously, I agreed right away. Phentermine is how I lost the weight before, so I'm more than happy to do it that way again. She stressed that I absolutely couldn't TTC while taking it, but the paperwork tells a different story and my old OB/GYN who prescribed it said it would be fine. So, I'm not quite convinced, even though I'm perfectly happy with not trying this cycle.

So, I do feel like I got somewhere. I feel like I have the answer I needed. Knowing that I wasn't talking nonsense about the test being done the wrong day and whatnot feels really good. I'm also glad she isn't so closed-minded that the number on the paper is the end-all-be-all of things... That she wasn't so high and mighty (like so many doctors are) to admit that there are flaws in blood tests because of human error. She was absolutely certain that I had it right though... She said she absolutely didn't believe I hadn't ovulated. So, I did ovulate on CD25... and I had a fairly normal cycle... other than terrible freaking progesterone levels.

I mentioned the estrogen dominance thing, and she doesn't think that's what I'm dealing with. So, we didn't go any further into that option.

All in all, I came away very happy. I didn't quite get what I hoped for, but I got something better! I got my freaking answer! I'm quite certain as to why I've lost my babies... and I think we can now prevent it from happening again for the same reason! Obviously, something can always go wrong that's not within our control, but I will NEVER allow another to be lost due to insufficient progesterone levels! I feel so free, vindicated, hopeful... but I do feel a bit sad that I didn't have a chance to prove it before losing the 2nd one, as I was pretty sure that this was the problem even back then... even before losing the first one! It was just that no one would listen to me! :growlmad:

Either way... I have my answer now... I can't live in the past! Apparently I needed to live through what I've lived through to be allowed to find my answer. So, that's the way it is and I can move forward... ONWARD AND UPWARD!

Sorry that this was a novel... but it is! LOL Thanks for the love and support! I couldn't do it without all of you! :hugs:
 
Wow Megg just read your doc bit.....I would have killed one of those children in the waiting area by the way....:wacko:

So that is great that you know what's up....must be good to know next time you can take preventative measures. :flower:

How did you know your prog levels were low already? Are your cycles always like that? I am just wondering, as I have had no tests, what clues to look for if something is wrong? :nope:

Anyway that is great news, really happy for you. :hugs:
 
Wow Megg just read your doc bit.....I would have killed one of those children in the waiting area by the way....:wacko:

So that is great that you know what's up....must be good to know next time you can take preventative measures. :flower:

How did you know your prog levels were low already? Are your cycles always like that? I am just wondering, as I have had no tests, what clues to look for if something is wrong? :nope:

Anyway that is great news, really happy for you. :hugs:

When my cycles were coming as they should with Clomid, I was spotting about 5 days before AF with only a 12 day LP. Now, 12 days is fine, but spotting from 7dpo on is NOT fine. My temp spikes were never very good and they never seemed to last long. Then, you had in the early losses and BINGO! Although, the spotting prior to AF and the shitty temp spikes were a HUGE tip-off and were enough for me to suspect even back then.
 
YAY MEGG.... I'm so happy your finally starting to get answers!
 
Thanks Megg, glad you are sorted and feeling positive again! :flower:

I am having to put my two losses down to pure bad luck right now, as my cycles seem fine. Its a bit of a worry tho, to be trying again when I have no idea if it will work out. :wacko:
:hugs:
 

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