TTC After A Loss... Race for the BFP! - 211 BFP's!!!

[littlebabyno4]

Hi can I join too. had a m/c august 2nd 2010. this was my first m/c, have my good days and bad days. this thread is great i don't feel so alone now.

 

[svetayasofiya]

I love you guys!!!!!!

 

[BizyBee]

I just can't believe it. So incredibly sorry Amos.

Welcome animalcracker, groovychick, and littlebabyno4. Sorry for your losses. You will find many loving and understanding women here. xx

 

[Megg33k]

I love the lesson, groovy!

I'll update the main list after dinner... I'm still sort of trying to get my wits about me a bit more!

 

[animalcracker]

HA HA HA he's a kiwi bird. It's sort of the national bird of New Zealand. they are very, very cute in reality but the poor things are flightless. Even though lots of money is spent on programs to help them out, they are forever screwed. These programs keep re -locating them to different remote regions (away from people that have dogs and cats) and I'm pretty sure that you guy's hit the nail on the head - lost and confused and freaked out! ya, and your right CJ. he does look pre-historic 'cus these birds are left overs from an age of flightless birds. If they lived anywhere else in the world, they would have become extinct a long time ago. Okay that's my 'geek -off' N.Z. bird lesson of the day. SEE?

AHHH, a Kiwi bird! I myself know a couple of Kiwis who now live in London! (I am originally from London, but moved to NYC in 1996 - I am a Brit-American hybrid at this point LOL)

I had to Google Kiwi bird to see what they look like and aww, aren't they cute! They look just like your avatar

I feel very comfortable in this thread. I don't know why I didn't join it sooner as you all understand what it feels like to lose a baby. I've felt very much alone the past week and have been bursting into tears at inopportune times. One minute I am looking to the future, the next I am a crumpled mess on the floor.

Thanks for making me smile and laugh today everyone. I can't tell you how much I needed that.

Amos I am thinking of you. We are here for you xoxox

 

[animalcracker]

Hi can I join too. had a m/c august 2nd 2010. this was my first m/c, have my good days and bad days. this thread is great i don't feel so alone now.

Hello there and welcome. I am so sorry for your loss. I just joined this thread today as well and it is great. Everyone is incredibly supportive

 

[puppymom32]

CJ,
So sorry for your losses I too have 6+ losses. I also have sisters that have children but definetly should not it is a very tough situation. I just keep telling myself when it does happen I will be the best mommy ever and make sure that I am nothing like they are. For now I just try and give my nieces and nephews as much luv as I can.

 

[animalcracker]

CJ,
So sorry for your losses I too have 6+ losses. I also have sisters that have children but definetly should not it is a very tough situation. I just keep telling myself when it does happen I will be the best mommy ever and make sure that I am nothing like they are. For now I just try and give my nieces and nephews as much luv as I can.

Puppymom, I just read some of your journal and wanted to pop in and give you a hug

 

[Allie84]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Amos.

 

[Sparkly]

Oh! god amos , i'm so sorry, that's such awful news

 

[selina3127]

this is for you amos, so sad for you right now xxxx

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today,
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say:
A Mother has a baby,
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can, he replied
With confidence in his voice,
I give many women babies,
When they leave it is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day,
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.

He took a breath,
and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing Here...

If you could see your child smile
With other children and say,
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear,
but My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here!"
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me,
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear,
"Mommy, Please don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are okay.
Your babies are here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lessons there are through,
And on the day that you come home,
they'll be at the gates waiting for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart,
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

So sorry Amos, I just cant believe it. Big hugs to you.xxxx

 

[fluffyblue]

Ive just read loads of pages and i miss you girls so much all the love and support xxxxx

 

[Megg33k]

You're welcome to stay with us, Heather! Plenty of preggos in here!

 

[fluffyblue]

I know hunni and wish I could offer some advice with all my losses.

I feel so sad today havent stopped filling up all morning re Amy its heartbreaking think my hormones are in overdrive!!

 

[cla]

amos iam so sorry hun, my thoughts are with you and your family
selina that poem is so right in everyway

 

[shiseru]

NOOO Amos, I am soo sorry hun *BIG BIG HUGS

I am sorry for your loss CJSG. Are you getting some tests done as this would consier recurrent MC?

It's been a while and this thread is going so fast, i knowing i am missing a lot but please do not lose hope ladies.

 

[Vickieh1981]

Thanks everyone...it's amazing how much love and support I have from you ladies. I am just numb...I really thought this was my forever baby. I feel like someone has pulled my heart out and ripped it into pieces. It's amazing how different it feels losing a baby when you've heard the heartbeat. Not that I didn't grieve over the ones I lost early, but it just feels so much worse now. I can't even describe it, but you ladies know exactly how I feel.

I feel so much for you right now. I know exactly what you mean, with every scan that goes well you bond more. I certainly found losing Isabella harder than losing at 5 weeks. I wish there was something I could do to help you right now sweetie.

Amos, sweetie... I have no idea what you're feeling... but 'numb' was the only way to describe how I felt when I read it. So, maybe I have a 1% understanding of it. I wish more than anything in the world that I could at least give you a real hug right now. If you asked, I would leave now just to do it. Please know that I'm here for ANYTHING you could possibly need, Sis. I can't stop crying for you.

Thanks Sis. Just when I think I am done crying I read a sweet post from you ladies.
And how's this for a kick in the balls? I am so nauseas right now....damn body.

Our bodies dont realize we have suffered a loss sometimes even after its all over. For 10 days after I delivered I was secreting milk.

It really is a kick in the teeth - I had the same as you sweetie, I still felt rubbish and after having her my milk kicked in (wasnt so bad because I was still bfing Matthew so it just boosted it). Why is life so unfair???

Thanks everyone...it's amazing how much love and support I have from you ladies. I am just numb...I really thought this was my forever baby. I feel like someone has pulled my heart out and ripped it into pieces. It's amazing how different it feels losing a baby when you've heard the heartbeat. Not that I didn't grieve over the ones I lost early, but it just feels so much worse now. I can't even describe it, but you ladies know exactly how I feel.

Amos, I just read the news and my heart is broken for you.

I lost my baby last week (I was almost 9 weeks but baby measured 6 weeks, 3 days and no heartbeat) and had the D&C last Friday.

You have been through this devastation so many times and it is so unfair. Please know I am thinking about you and wish you much love and luck for your surgery tomorrow. xoxoxox

I'm so sorry hun. I had no idea. It's just not fair. I think if I do get pregnant again I will start drinking, smoking and doing drugs. Seems to work out ok for those people.

It seems so cruel doesn't it? That these people get babies? I remember with Maff I was in hospital 12 weeks ( I had a partial placental abruption) and the 19 year old girl across from me kept screaming for her methadone. I hated her so much.

There is nothing fair about what you are going through hun.

I really don't have any answers either. The only testing I haven't had done is genetic testing and that is because it is so expensive over here and is not covered by my insurance. The only thing I have "wrong" with me, and they really don't look at it as being "wrong" is I am homozygous for MTHFR. Which is just basically a clotting thing. But I was on aspirin this pregnancy and it didn't seem to matter. Plus, I don't think a clotting factor would have even let me grow a pregnancy this far if that was the problem. Could be wrong though...

I don't know hun - maybe they need you on a higher dose? My friend has the clotting problem too (diagnosed after three 2nd trimester losses) and was put on aspirin and had a healthy girl. Next pregnancy same dose, lost at 14 weeks. So the next pregnancy they had to increase it.

Sorry, I am not sure whether to hit post as I don't want to panic more but it's always hit and miss knowing the dosage they need to give you, can you ask them about a higher dose next pg? Grrr I feel everything I am typing is coming out wrong.

 

[jonnanne3]

I am so sorry Amos! Thinking of you!

 

[puppymom32]

CJ,
So sorry for your losses I too have 6+ losses. I also have sisters that have children but definetly should not it is a very tough situation. I just keep telling myself when it does happen I will be the best mommy ever and make sure that I am nothing like they are. For now I just try and give my nieces and nephews as much luv as I can.

Puppymom, I just read some of your journal and wanted to pop in and give you a hug

Thanks animal so sorry for you loss hun. Really is nice to have people around that know what you are going through.