TTC After A Loss... Race for the BFP! - 211 BFP's!!!

[Fairybabe]

Well, i;m not in the 2ww after all! Seems my body is being "whatever" about it all as well as my head! I've had fairly dark opks now for 6 days. Thurs and Sunday's were the darkest. My temp rise on saturday seems to have been a fluke as it's been back down the last 2 mornings. Guess things are just still messed up from the last m/c. I'm on day 19 now, from when bleeding started. Seeing as i was only 4wks6days along, i don't expect it will throw me out like it did after the mc at 10wks3days. Temps are nice and low as if about to ov. IT's the darn opks that are doing my head in!! I'm confident there's no left over stuff in there, as my hcg levels were down at 3 already on 2nd day of bleeding.

Feeling a bit like a woman on the edge at the moment. Just found out last night that another friend i ahven't seen in a while is nearly 5months along. Am pleased for her, but it's just another kick in the guts. You girls know what i mean. Can't be arsed to do anything i am meant to be doing, just want to sleep and/or cry. (Hoping this means ov is on it's way or something!).

Thanks for listening to the rant.

Fairy x

 

[Dazed]

Fairybabe, sorry for what you are going through. I was so sure my body was going to go back fairly quick too since I mc'd at about 5w4d (or at least started mc'ing). It can actually take your body awhile to adjust after a loss reguardless of how far you were. Please don't get discurraged and just keep going with the flow.

Baby dust to you!

 

[bbhopes]

SunShyn lots of positive vibes and wishes your way!!! I will be hoping all goes well for you and baby can hold in there for a little while longer!! Big hugs...

 

[impatient1]

SunShyn thinking of you and your LO and praying that baby stays put to cook longer.

 

[Fairybabe]

Sunshyn, hope bubs stays put to grow bigger and stronger. Has your doc put you on bedrest?
Fairy xx

 

[Megg33k]

Sorry i been MIA ,
Sorry for the new losses and wishing you all healthy sticky Beans

As for Me:
I have been contracting for 8 days now and had a small leak (about 5 days ago) in my water bag which we believe has sealed over for now, I am on procardia (start on the day my water bag leaked) to stop the contraction but i still am having mild uterine irritability and contractions. Im so nervous but still extremely positive, doctor say baby measures about a week larger then my feb 20 due date but wont give me a set due date as he is sure the baby will come well before then, fxd everything this baby stays in long enough to get his lungs developed...

I could use a lil support, hugs and thank you!

Hey, honey! Are they doing steroid therapy for lung development? I know that's what they did for Sam (hedgewitch)... I can't even imagine how scared you must be. But, I certainly hope they can keep your little one firmly in place for a bit longer, honey! You'll certainly be in my thoughts. All the positive vibes I can send your way and a big for you, hun!

 

[ttcstill]

Sorry i been MIA ,
Sorry for the new losses and wishing you all healthy sticky Beans

As for Me:
I have been contracting for 8 days now and had a small leak (about 5 days ago) in my water bag which we believe has sealed over for now, I am on procardia (start on the day my water bag leaked) to stop the contraction but i still am having mild uterine irritability and contractions. Im so nervous but still extremely positive, doctor say baby measures about a week larger then my feb 20 due date but wont give me a set due date as he is sure the baby will come well before then, fxd everything this baby stays in long enough to get his lungs developed...

I could use a lil support, hugs and thank you!

Oh I hope everything is fine for you and the wee one ..... I saw your Feb Love bugs banner and about lost it......I am glad to see your little one is still hanging in there and I will pray for you both!

 

[ttcstill]

Okay my stupid chart changed again and my opk's are confusing me too but my tems dropped again today this is very weird........ crosshairs are gone again....... I am totally confused.

 

[Megg33k]

I figured your crosshairs wouldn't stay that early. I'd just hold out a bit longer and see what happens.

 

[ttcstill]

Okay i'll try its just so confusing...... I had to mess up on my BD timing because we were afraid we had missed the window and now its changed again..... hoping I get my + opk today so I can still be in the running for this month

 

[Fairybabe]

TTCStill, i hear you loud and clear! seems we are in a similar boat.

Just heard back from the doc. She has heard from the consultant. I am livid. COnsultant says that there is some doubt that I was preg this last time as HCG was only 3 on day bloods were drawn. He's not saying i wasn't, just not that i definitively was. So, despite 2 positive FRERs, a few positive cheapies, consistently high temps and feeling sick, metallic taste??? He also said that "there are no tests that can be done at this stage that would help." BULL****. What's he's saying is that there are no tests he's prepared for the NHS to pay for that he will do cos i haven't had three m/c yet. He says that when i get preg again i may wish to start on cyclogest pessaries (progesterone) and can have an early scan to see what's what. And that's it. I feel like i've been given a pat on the head and told to stop being so silly. Strange that if you look on any consultant's private clinic pages they recommend tests after 1 m/c after 10wks, or after 2 in any case. I really could explode right now. Or cry.

Fairy xx

 

[ttcstill]

I dont even try to get help from doctors as they wont even refer us to a specialist because we have not had 3 miscarriages together...... I had one before I met him and we have lost two since I met him have to lose again before I can get help!

 

[MissMaternal]

Sunshyn i really hope your LO can hold on a bit longer....will be thinking of you!

Fairybabe, bloody NHS, huh? They are apparently making cutbacks at the moment....or at least that was what i was told twice during my recent pregnancy. Which i suppose is understandable, but doesnt help us in the slightest! Hope you've calmed down a bit now

I dont even try to get help from doctors as they wont even refer us to a specialist because we have not had 3 miscarriages together...... I had one before I met him and we have lost two since I met him have to lose again before I can get help!

This is what really gets to me...the fact that even after i have had 2 late losses, they still say they can't investigate until i have a third. Right now i feel like i'm just waiting to mc again before they do something! I can't even imagine going through it a third time. That's so ridiculous that they won't look into your situation just because your three havent been consecutive...

for everyone xxxx

 

[ttcstill]

My three have been consequtive just that the first one was with my ex not my current husband.

 

[Fairybabe]

Oh TTCStill, that's really really terrible. And Miss Maternal, that's also shocking!

In what other field of medicine would we be left to repeatedly suffer in this way? Now i'm even more angry.

Fairy xx

 

[svetayasofiya]

damn bitch got me this weekend. I really need some words of encouragement right about now. I know so many of you have been through more than I have, but this has been the longest bloody 9 mo and I am starting to lose hope.

 

[Ruskiegirl]

damn bitch got me this weekend. I really need some words of encouragement right about now. I know so many of you have been through more than I have, but this has been the longest bloody 9 mo and I am starting to lose hope.

Im with ya hun =D now we have the same cycle date also so mabey well get lucky and both get our for xmas =D I just try to not think about how long its been and that helps me keep going , I know its hard not to think about it but if you can find things to keep your mind off it , it makes a huge difference in how you feel

 

[svetayasofiya]

Sometimes I think of leaving this board so I won't be thinking of ttc and babies everyday, but I can't bare to leave so many of you I have grown fond of. lol I also love following our success stories and see how everyone's pregnancies are progressing. Life has been so crazy basically since I found out I was pg in May... things are calming down now and I am just going to focus on me, going to the gym, cocooning for winter and enjoying the upcoming holidays. I just feel so bad, every month when AF comes I feel like I always need to apologise to my husband. He's so supportive but I inundate him with my 2ww symptoms and get his hopes up month after month. *Sigh.

 

[Megg33k]

Man, its a somber day in here. I don't know the right words either. I'm usually so good at this... but I feel like I barely fit in. I'm not exactly TTC right now... and very few people can relate to anything I'm doing. Likewise, I feel like a hypocrite for staying the "stick with it blahblahblah" when I've given up on conventional and going straight to majorly assisted conception. I didn't stick with it... So, how am I supposed to tell other people to? Those of you who are being completely disregarded because you haven't had a 3rd loss... I'm at a loss for words. I feel guilty that I got all my tests after only 2 losses... and early losses (technically) at that. I guess that's why I've been MIA lately. I don't know what to say mostly.

I'm going to be a hypocrite though... sort of! So, here goes:

The best things in life are rarely easy. This is the most important thing you'll ever do. So, just remember that hole in your heart and how desperately you want that baby in your arms... and you'll find a way to keep pushing forward. No matter what path that might lead you down, as I've found out, it will never be as hard as living without the child you desire so much. Every broken heart at a BFN or AF showing... none of it compares to the daily pain of knowing you gave up on your dream of being a mother (or mother again). So, fight through it... Affirm to yourself that you CAN do it. Don't compare and contrast your story with what someone else had to go through or diminish your own suffering because someone else has been through "more" or "worse" than you. You have the right to feel your pain... You have the right to hurt. But, you also have the right to keep pushing to get what you want/need to make your life whole. And, you have the right to be supported through your journey, no matter what. That's why we're here!

I guess that's all I've got. I hope it can help someone. I'll step back into the shadows and hope time keeps passing quickly so I can eventually put a sticky BFP next to my name... as well as all of your names!

 

[svetayasofiya]

What you just said gave me tears Megg, *and I am at work! lol Thanks so much. So eloquently put. I needed to hear that today. It's because of people like you I can't leave this board.