TTC after miscarriage 2020

[Rebaby]

I ve ordered my self a cheap little bracelet of rainbow moonstone and rose quartz that is supposed to be good for fertility. I thought it would be nice little thing to remember the lost pregnancy by and if it helps get that rainbow baby will be fab too.

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That's lovely

Sorry I haven't been around much. Basically, after my last AF I chickened out. I realised how stressful I would find it being in the early stages of pregnancy during lockdown and how much extra uncertainty I'd be facing on top of all the other uncertainty right now and I didn't think I could handle it emotionally. So I had a chat with OH, who understood where I was coming from and following that I started back on the mini pill. The plan was for me to stay on it for three months, to make it through the summer holidays (with the kids around 24/7) and then re-evaluate in September if we felt ready to try again...

BUT...it's been a month (I'm coming up to the last few pills in the pack and have just had another AF) and the past few days I've been feeling incredibly broody and wondering what on earth I'm waiting for?

So now I don't know what to do. I'm going to finish this pack of pills but after that, I'm torn. My head tells me that 3 months isn't long, that it will give me time to lose weight and for things with Coronavirus to settle, and maybe get the kids back to school etc etc but my heart is saying something else entirely.

I chatted to OH about it again last night and his pov is that he wants a baby but that the timing is up to me and he'll support me either way but he thinks if I do go off the pill again I should stay off it this time and not keep swapping and changing (which I agree with tbh).


I just keep thinking that if things had worked out differently, I'd be giving birth in September, and it would be nice to be pregnant again by then, not only just be starting to TTC properly...

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know I'm still here, lurking in the background and sending you all lots of baby dust

 

[salamander91]

Rebaby- it's such a hard choice to make. I decided to keep ttc despite coronavirus because I mentally couldn't cope with not trying but I understand the worry of being pregnant right now too. I can't actually take the pill because it makes me super broody maybe that's what is happening with you? Good luck with whatever choice you make

 

[LuvallmyH]

Rebaby. It is a hard decision to make. One I can’t make with my head. I’m following my heart.

Salamander, that stinks abt the new opk. Hopefully they work in the end & you don’t have to wait much longer!

I am testing out my mc and bottom is today. I am hoping my body just gets right back on track. My cycles are long and I only had 2 after my last baby & this pregnancy so I have no idea what to expect.

 

[topazicatzbet]

That is really pretty. I got a statue of a baby inside angel wings. I put it out near our pond, which is one of my favorite places to be. Unfortunately dh said it makes him feel worse so I may have to put it away. I had always planned on a tattoo for my other 3 losses. Now I am sure I will do it, I just have to change it a little.
My bleeding slowed down also. I ordered a ton of hpt so I can continue to test out my hcg & have for the future.
Did you get your new opk salamander?

I have a heart tattoo that has my sons initials incorporated. I still need to get my lastvsons added but I think i will wait and add his and the next babies and a little pair of angle wings.

 

[topazicatzbet]

Wow those lines are fading fast. Thats a good sign. Fingers crossed for a negative soon.

 

[Rebaby]

Thanks ladies it's good to talk to people who get it.

OH and I chatted about it again and I've decided to finish this pill pack but not start another and see what happens. In the meantime I'm going to do slimming world (starting Friday) and keep up with my daily walking, then I feel like I have another focus if it doesn't happen for us right away, plus it might help regulate my cycles if I can shed a bit of this lockdown weight.

I'm excited to ttc again and would so love another baby but some days I think I let the fear of another miscarriage overshadow that . Especially the idea of having another mmc and needing a d&c with coronavirus still out there. But then it doesn't look like that will change any time soon, and I can't put ttc on hold forever.

 

[LuvallmyH]

No spotting or bleeding so far today. Fx it stays that way. Tests look good today, as in getting lighter. I’m feeling optimistic & hopeful today. Hope I have more days like this and less days paranoid and scared.

 

[LuvallmyH]

Thanks ladies it's good to talk to people who get it.

OH and I chatted about it again and I've decided to finish this pill pack but not start another and see what happens. In the meantime I'm going to do slimming world (starting Friday) and keep up with my daily walking, then I feel like I have another focus if it doesn't happen for us right away, plus it might help regulate my cycles if I can shed a bit of this lockdown weight.

I'm excited to ttc again and would so love another baby but some days I think I let the fear of another miscarriage overshadow that . Especially the idea of having another mmc and needing a d&c with coronavirus still out there. But then it doesn't look like that will change any time soon, and I can't put ttc on hold forever.

I think it’s a great idea to have something so positive to focus on. And you are right, it might help your cycles. I am trying to focus on losing the pregnancy weight I gained coupled with the covid weight. And limit my sugar intake because I know with pcos it has an impact on my cycles. Although mine have seemed to get more regular the older I get.
I don’t think covid is going away anytime soon either. I’m too old to put anything on hold. I understand the fear of another mc. It’s very real. I’m just trying to put it out of my mind altogether. I’ll deal with it if I need to. I am trying to put all my energy into feeling positive. Not so easy to do!

 

[topazicatzbet]

I'm very jealous of those fading lines. Mine is still really dark

 

[LuvallmyH]

I'm very jealous of those fading lines. Mine is still really dark

I’m sorry. It doesn’t makes sense either does it? How many days has it been?

 

[topazicatzbet]

11 days today. Im hoping mine was so strong this morning because it was very concentrated urine. I'm gonna test everyday to try and test it out as I ve ordered a load more cheapie. At least it gives me something to do.

 

[LuvallmyH]

11 days today. Im hoping mine was so strong this morning because it was very concentrated urine. I'm gonna test everyday to try and test it out as I ve ordered a load more cheapie. At least it gives me something to do.

I totally get you there. You can order ic’s by 100 an amazon FYI. I am testing In the afternoon. I didn’t use my morning pee on purpose.

 

[LuvallmyH]

My tests are darker this afternoon. Not stressing too much about it. I assume there are a lot of factors. Here are the 4 brands I bought. Now I k ow what they will look like in the next few months when I get a rainbow bfp!

 

[topazicatzbet]

Haha you are test mental.

I tested again with quiet dilute urine and is was much lighter. Id expect it still to be fairly dark if my levels were high so fingers crossed for lighter tests soon

 

[LuvallmyH]

How’s everyone managing today?
I’m just feeling frustrated. I want to just get af & move on. I’m not the most patient person when it comes to things like this. Trying not to stress. Actually I wish I was still pregnant and didn’t have to go through all this. I don’t look pregnant anymore. I just look fat now. I know that’s vain, but I’m usually a slim person. I gained 18lbs in 13 weeks. I was too sick to eat healthy and I indulged too much on carbs and sweets. Sigh.
On a positive note I tested this afternoon with pretty diluted pee and the lines are almost gone. I hope by my appt next Wednesday they will truly be totally bfp with any pee.

 

[topazicatzbet]

Thats great that the lines are fading so much.

I thought id stopped bleeding had nothing for 24hrs but started again this afternoon, i was hoping I'd have finished as I'm back at work tom which I'm not looking forward to just want to stay home with my babies. Still bleeding doesn't give me as much closure as I hoped for returning.

 

[LuvallmyH]

They only look like that with very diluted pee. I have to stop testing. It’s not going to change anything.
I’m sorry you are bleeding again. It happened to me a few times. Stopped then started again. I hope yours is done after today. I’m sorry you are back to work tomorrow. Maybe it will take your mind off things? I hope it’s not too bad going back.

 

[topazicatzbet]

I ve only been there since November and its working as a community nurse so its lots of new things to learn and deal with which is very stressful and as I mainly work alone dont really know the team very well. My boss has been great checking in with me as she has sadly been through it 3 times. I think i ll be fine once I get back to it.

 

[salamander91]

How’s everyone managing today?
I’m just feeling frustrated. I want to just get af & move on. I’m not the most patient person when it comes to things like this. Trying not to stress. Actually I wish I was still pregnant and didn’t have to go through all this. I don’t look pregnant anymore. I just look fat now. I know that’s vain, but I’m usually a slim person. I gained 18lbs in 13 weeks. I was too sick to eat healthy and I indulged too much on carbs and sweets. Sigh.
On a positive note I tested this afternoon with pretty diluted pee and the lines are almost gone. I hope by my appt next Wednesday they will truly be totally bfp with any pee.
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Wow they're fading really fast. I was told 4-6 weeks before first af. Hopefully it'll be 4 weeks for you since lines are fading so fast.

 

[salamander91]

Thats great that the lines are fading so much.

I thought id stopped bleeding had nothing for 24hrs but started again this afternoon, i was hoping I'd have finished as I'm back at work tom which I'm not looking forward to just want to stay home with my babies. Still bleeding doesn't give me as much closure as I hoped for returning.

Hope the bleeding stops again soon. I bled off and on for weeks. It was very frustrating xx