TTC after miscarriage 2020

[LuvallmyH]

Hi MrsKatie. Glad you are here, but wish you didn’t have to be. I was still night feeding my youngest when I got pregnant with my mc. I weaned him as soon as I knew. Typically my cycles don't return at all until I wean, but 2 of them did and I also had a short lp. Cleared itself up after I weaned. And no judgement here! I was a glorified pacifier for my kids lol.

Topaz, I am so sorry. I can imagine how frustrated you are feeling. I hope you can get them to see you and take you seriously. You need some answers & you need them now!

I keep letting myself get excited and then get grumpy because I come back to reality. I have all they symptoms of impending o. I even went back to all my old charts & researched how long I typically get ovary pain. It’s 5 days btw. Typically 5 days before I o I feel it in my ovaries! I’d consider today 2-3 days in. So possibly Wednesday or Thursday if all goes well. FX. Then I remind myself that the chances are so small & who knows what my lp will be like and on & on. I know mc wreck havoc with your cycle. Why should I be so lucky to have a normalish one after? Anyway.....
We will all get through this. I really pray we all end up with rainbows in our arms.

 

[topazicatzbet]

Scan booked for fri to see if i have any retained products. If so i ll get the medication again. What fun.

 

[LuvallmyH]

I’m so sorry. I’m glad they are going to scan you. Do you have to take the medication again or could you have a d&c? I don’t know if it’s more risky or not. It just seems the medication didn’t work for you. I hate to see you in limbo for longer and go through this all over again.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thinking of you

 

[salamander91]

Scan booked for fri to see if i have any retained products. If so i ll get the medication again. What fun.

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully if there is any left it's just a small bit and comes out easy xx

 

[topazicatzbet]

They won't do a d&c unless the medication fails twice at the mo because of the covid. I just hope they don't make me wait another 3 weeks to make sure its worked if it doesn't start to fall

I’m so sorry. I’m glad they are going to scan you. Do you have to take the medication again or could you have a d&c? I don’t know if it’s more risky or not. It just seems the medication didn’t work for you. I hate to see you in limbo for longer and go through this all over again.

 

[LuvallmyH]

I’m frustrated for you hun. It’s just terrible on top of terrible. When you have your rainbow in your arms you will look back on all of this and it will be water under the bridge.

I have my follow up tomorrow and I am starting to dread it. At first I was excited, then anxious, and now I’m terrified. I know just walking through the door is going to bring it all back. I haven’t spent a lot of time lately thinking about the time lines (it’s been 3 weeks today I couldn’t find his heartbeat.) and replaying the office visit to confirm he was gone. It just sucks. I can only hope I walk out of there with something positive. Like the drs supporting my decision to ttc. Them being optimistic it could happen again. And maybe having an answer as to why he died. I’m not sure that will make me feel better, but I’d still like to know.
Still waiting for a + opk, but I’ve got all the other signs I’m going to ovulate. Hope it happens.

 

[topazicatzbet]

My 2 year old is keeping me sane. I'm lucky I have the 3 kids already and have concieved all 4 times within 3 months so I'm holding on to that. I just need to get this sorted and then I can focus on making a summer baby.

Today I have felt super bloated and tender in my abdomen I cant wait for Friday for some answers.

 

[salamander91]

I'm losing my mind this week. I got a really faint line on a frer on sunday but everything has been bfn since. I was so sure it was my bfp and I'm gutted my SIL has just announced her pregnancy today and I'm really struggling. I feel awful that their news makes me so upset because I'm so happy for them but I'm just so sad that I'm not pregnant

 

[LuvallmyH]

I’m sorry salamander. I don’t blame you for being sad and upset. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t happy for them. It just plain hurts. A lot.

 

[salamander91]

I’m sorry salamander. I don’t blame you for being sad and upset. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t happy for them. It just plain hurts. A lot.

Thank you it's hard having such conflicting feelings. I feel very guilty and trying to hide them as much as I can from DH. He is super understanding usually but his brother and sil have suffered a lot of miscarriages and really do deserve their rainbow baby so I think he might not be as much with this.

I hope your doctors app goes well xx

 

[topazicatzbet]

I'm sorry salamander. One of my work colleagues is a week behind what I was so its gonna be difficult watching her grow but I ve made a promise to myself that I will be happy for her and show interest as its not her fault. When I was pregnant with my first my best friend has a mmc diagnosed at her 12 scan. She made me feel guilty all through my pregnancy.

 

[LuvallmyH]

Well, that went terrible. Gutting and heart wrenching. My dr basically said h Th e benefit doesn't not outweigh the risk. He said I have had too many babies, I’m too old & because I had the onset of preeclampsia last time I should have any more babies. I’m. Lost.

 

[salamander91]

I'm happy for them. They have suffered a lot of losses including at the same time I did this year. Our due dates were a few weeks apart. I think I'm just super struggling because of my messed up cycles. I've only had two periods since I miscarried 6 months ago I just want to have regular cycles and be able to try normally but I'm literally peeing on opks and hpts every day because I don't know where I'm at and seeing constant negatives (except the dodgy positive on sunday) is crushing me.

 

[salamander91]

Well, that went terrible. Gutting and heart wrenching. My dr basically said h Th e benefit doesn't not outweigh the risk. He said I have had too many babies, I’m too old & because I had the onset of preeclampsia last time I should have any more babies. I’m. Lost.

Oh luv I'm so sorry do you think you will keep trying? Xx

 

[MrsKatie]

Luv, i responded in your journal. sending hugs.

salamander, i wish this had been your month. Hopefully the upside is we’ll be pregnant together next month Listen, your feelings are not “conflicting” - they are just many things at once. You aren’t happy for them OR jealous. You are happy for them AND sad for you AND jealous AND joyful. All at once. That’s how it goes. I hope you get to be pregnant together

 

[LuvallmyH]

Oh luv I'm so sorry do you think you will keep trying? Xx

I’m not sure yet. A lot to process. Thankfully dh is aware & hasn’t jumped to a quick decision on his own.

 

[LuvallmyH]

Well either way a fairly regular cycle after a later loss and d&c is a win Now if I can just not get my hopes up. Might be my only chance.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Fx for you

 

[LuvallmyH]

Scan booked for fri to see if i have any retained products. If so i ll get the medication again. What fun.

Good luck tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you.