ttc buddies since 9/10

[momwannabe81]

haha now we can make a salad lol.

Another bfn but i think again it ws diluted, i'm tired and wanna go to sleep right now lol, slight back ache off and on and i think af is on her way, i'm just starting to feel twiches and stuff so probably y i keep getting bfns. She's due in 2-3 days so will see. Still hoping to see a line before then and know that she will not come.

 

[cckarting]

I still have everything x'd for you! I'm exhausted to i'm ready for bed i could sleep for days!

 

[momwannabe81]

bfn again quess will just see if she shows up. Hope u get some rest this weekend.

 

[momwannabe81]

af got me

 

[Stelly]

Ah michelle I'm sorry

 

[cckarting]

oh no michelle, i'm sorry! i'll just have to send more baby dust for next month! <Huggs>

 

[momwannabe81]

 

[cckarting]

so sorry again! you trying anything new this cycle??

 

[momwannabe81]

idk probably just schedule as usual around Ov time and should be on the weekend so i know i can get it then. Just trying to deal with af and other problems here that i am seriously thinking about just pick up and leave lol. Just a little overwhelmed with everything.

 

[cckarting]

well i hope things settle down for you michelle! I hope you don't decide to get up and leave, unless its for good reason then i hope you find happiness!

 

[momwannabe81]

Well I'm seriously thinking about leaving dh. I love him but he comes with a big baggage and I just can't handle it anymore. Ik he can do better but he don't try. He's just to selfish for me.
I've been thinking about it for a while but just don't have the guts to do it. I worry what's going to happen to the both of us. How am I financially going to afford it and where is he going to go to. He has no family here so I have a hard time but I just cannot deal with it anymore and the worst part its our 9th year anniversary in 2 days and feel like if I let him go I've waisted 9 years and there is more but can't wrap my head around it wether its true or not

 

[cckarting]

I'm so sorry michelle! you need to do what's best for you, and if you honestly have thought about leaving him that often, maybe you need to. You can make it without him. you are strong and deserve to be happy! I'm with you weither you stay or go but you need to do what is going to make you happy!

 

[momwannabe81]

ty and i finally realize that....i just don't know when to execute. I wanna do it right away but yet its our anniversary so i don't want to break his heart and mine. Also i wanna have a back up plan cause i will have to find living arrangments for me too as i can't afford this place on my own. I mean i could but i am away from everyone so i would be to lonely. I will look at ads and figure out how. I still owe for this place so if i move i had to pay in two places and i HAVE to pay cause it's my aunts place. Idk kind rethinking it but i know it's the best for me. I need time alone as i always had a man in my life .

 

[cckarting]

Could you maybe find a roommate to help both bills? Hope you get it all figured out, and you can be at peace.

 

[momwannabe81]

i thought about that but i have dogs and alot of ppl don't like big dogs sooo it be hard and where i live is to far from town for anyone. I will figure something out, i have alot of issues and had a mental breakdown yesterday and i'm thinking about going to the Dr but then comes in mind Dr bill so conflicted. I think all this is cause i am conflicted with my feelings, as well as my father accusing my husband of the break in that happend last week, and i'm stuck in the middle, as my fathers opinion is a crook always a crook and don't realize the position he's putting me cause dh claims he's innocent and stands by it. So who side do i choose? I'm all my father has, but i am suppose to spend the rest of my life with dh. Y can't ppl just leave me alone......I just feel like a have a lot of bad luck and as much as i know what i want in life seems i will never get it. I'm not wanting lots of money or anything valuable. I just want some peace and live a simple but happy life. Is it to much to ask?

 

[cckarting]

What is your fathers reasoning for accusing him? There are a lot of people that do like dogs and living out of the city. It could be worth a shot? I really hope you get everything figured out and you can clear your soul and find your given path.

 

[momwannabe81]

Ty sorry for being away for a few days. Been busy and trying to clear my head. Went to the Dr and found out I suffer mild to moderate depression and will start new meds soon. Also have appointment with FS on the 4th to discuss next step. Also I decided to start taking b complex and geratol but its liquid form and nasty as f... lol. I will try it just cause they say there is a baby in every bottle as good as its supposed to be. Just hoping donor still willing as just realized he never texted me back when told him af showed

 

[cckarting]

I've heard great things about gerotol! i hope that this works for you this month. Glad you went to the dr and got something to help you feel better. I hope it all works out for you and you get that egg this month! sorry the gerotol tastes so bad, hopefully you won't have to get use to it lol.

 

[momwannabe81]

Lol hope I can at least finish the bottle as I don't like to waste money lol.

 

[cckarting]

so excited for your appt on the 4th, i have my 13 week appt that day too! I hope he gives me another scan as i've been bleeding all week, but i don't think he will