ttc buddies since 9/10

[cckarting]

Thanks! so are we getting another donation soon????? oh if you and me got our bfp at the same time, how perfect would that be!

 

[momwannabe81]

that be awesome, i'm really considering a one night stand or have the donor i found online come over lol, he's not to bad looking (not my type) but heck all i need is his sperm, i'm hoping to get a donation tomorrow night but i doubt it, this weeks schedule is bad and it don't look like i might be able to get another one from my usual donor. Meantime dh is still coming over and i don't want him here but can't get myself to tell him that as he's trying, i want him to get better but idk if i can trust him ever again, he stole $$ from me and one of those was while i was sleeping he came thru the window, i know it was him even though he said he didn't, we have 2 big dogs and they would have barked their head off if it was anyone else. i just don't know what else to do. He ask me if i want food several times and keep telling him i'm fine (haven't been eating much from stress) and ignore him while he's here so he went into bed and fell asleep. i havenb't broken up a relationship since i was 16 and it was hard then. I'm scared of being alone but rather be alone then with someone i cn't trust, oh and to add to the dispair his sister announced shes pregnant...........can life get any worst!?!?!?!?!

 

[cckarting]

No one make him leave but you! if you want him to leave you alone and be seperated you need to put your foot down, if he won't listen you can always make the police have him leave. he's not going to leave you alone until you make him, he's going to walk all over you. he's having no regards to your wants or requests and still think he can come and go as he pleases. and he will until you make him stop! i know it's hard but if you beleive it's the best thing for you, it's better to just get it over with and deal with it straight on. then you can get on to a better, happier life. I hope you get another donation this weekend, and the clomid does it's job! HUGGS

 

[momwannabe81]

tysm, i am glad have someone to talk to cause i cannot stand talking about it at work (although i do) but no one really understand how hard is ttc yet alone and a break up. I have so much regret towards him for things he's done not because was on purpose but just not thinking about the consequentes

 

[cckarting]

Your welcome. I completely understand how you feel that way, and I'm here anytime you need to talk. But if your done you need to really be done and get on starting a new life without him! You don't need to feel alone in this cuz your not. But the first step is getting him to leave and keeping it that way no matter what.

 

[momwannabe81]

OMG u got Ch. Woohoo hope they stay there. Dotted lone means its not sure but if u reps stay up and keep going up it should give u solid lines. I so hoe this iis the month for u.
Afm I miss him so much. I woke up crying and kept crying for a while. He sent me a weird message earlier saying today is the first day of his life. Hope in a good way. I don't want him to change just want him to be a better man. I'm still debating about the online donor. I thought about having him go out with me tomorrow night so I would have company and get a better feeling about him. If not my friend will kick his ass lol.

 

[cckarting]

I know i finally did! it's only the second time in the 9 months we've been trying! I'm sure you do miss him, but if it's not good for you to be together then you shouldn't, or not until he gets his issues worked out! so the online guy lives close to where you live???? I would go out with him and see how it goes

 

[momwannabe81]

he lives 2 hours away and is willing to make the drive and no gas but he wants uhmmm direct deposit!? thats where i'm iffy about part of me doesn't care how i get it and part of me is scared

 

[cckarting]

does he come with a certificate of clean health?? well if he's good looking and you guys connect well i'd probably do it! haha but thats just me

 

[momwannabe81]

he's ok looking lol and he claims he's healthy but that's all coming from him, idk i would rather have a one night stand then actually trying to know this guy, i talked with dh today and i took him back :doh: i just couldn't be without him, we love each other and he's willing to re earn my trust, call me crazy stupid or w/e but couldn't help myself, all i could think is him the last 2 days and yesterdays good bye was so heartbreaking that i realize how much i love him, he might be stupid but he's a good guy and he's willing to try. Don't get me wrong one more fuck up and I won't think about it twice, but just cannot get myself to not trust him, he was able to see that i can kick him out and that i will, so we talked a lot and poured my heart out and that i know he can become a better man, told him that i used the wrong choice of words as i don't want him to change just become a better man.

 

[cckarting]

Well i hope for the best for you! i hope everything works out in your favor and you guys can be great together. i hope he can change the way he's acting and become a better man for you! and ps i don't think your stupid! you can't help what your heart wants and i know how much i love my dh (I can't even stand having him away a night) and how i could never let him leave, unless he did something terrible but it would kill me to do it!

 

[momwannabe81]

Well I know if it comes to I have the strength to tell him bye. And I know he knows that I can do it. So I really think he is willing to try
On the other hand saw my donor tonight and he will try to come by tomorrow FX he does cause it be great timing if not the Craigslist one will drive here but not sure about him still.

 

[cckarting]

Oh I so hope your donor can make it tomorrow! Fx for you! I hope this is it and you won't even need the other guy!

 

[momwannabe81]

Hope so too. He sent me a text not yo bother with the Craiglist he will take care of me lol. Hope so too due to O this weekend so FX. And thx for listening me whining.

 

[momwannabe81]

Hey guess what!??! I got the donation so not i'm just going to have to wait for me to O.
Saw ur temp go down a bit hope that it goes back up, i sometimes have a temp drop at 3-4 dpo so don't freak out yet

 

[cckarting]

YEAAAA! so glad you got your donation and you don't have to use craigslist guy. did you have fun out lastnight? Hope you had a greast time and this donation is the one! are you going to try for one more or are your schedules to hecktic?

 

[momwannabe81]

Had a blast and donor said he will try this coming week in case i don't O today but i think i might yesterday, not sure as i had no pains, but other ladies that did take Clomid had pains so idk, and my temp is affected from the alcohol intake lol. had to much last night but it was soooo fun.

 

[cckarting]

I'm glad you had a blast last night, sounds like it was needed! So glad the donor will try and fit another donation in, but your last donation would be perfect with your pos opk

 

[momwannabe81]

Yeah but I changed back to negative cause I wasn't sure and just now had a very strong positive. Never had the test line darker then the the control line so it will happen soon. Will try to get another one tomorrow night just to cover my basis. How's ur weekend going?

 

[cckarting]

YEAAAA hope you get another donation tomorrow! my weekend is going good. we painted out bedroom yesterday, and today we took the kids bowling and did some shopping. haven't been feeling very great, but my cervix is still high and soft, not sure about open or closed so i'm confused as to what that means?? other than that nothing to new, just waiting to see what my temps do haha