VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[ladyzealand]

I do agree with you in what your saying. In New Zealand there is a high statistic of teen mothers and most teens are more inclined to stay on the benefit and have a second-third child. But in saying that, if the mother was brought up in the right enviroment and with the right education and support they can be great mothers, i was a teen mother had my son when i was 17, I am now married to the father, we are in our twenties, own our own home and currently own a renewable energy company. We are great parents, and are trying for a second! unfortunatly to no luck. I believe teen or not, everyone is couple of being a great or poor parent. I mean some of these people are STUPID think that it doesnt harm there baby by smoking around it!!! Drives me nuts i just want to take the babies and RUN!!

 

[divineparadis]

I really wish for myself not to get jealous and upset when I see my pregnant friends and friends who just had a baby. It is very overwhelming.

I also have this love-hate relationship with the "I didn't know I was pregnant" show on Discovery Home & Health. Drives me nuts when I see someone on TV getting pregnant and having a baby without knowing and here I am trying to conceive for 6 months without any success.

And also my colleague in the office who is 8 years my senior is trying to conceive her 2nd baby, added competition and stress!

I need to get a grip!!

 

[hunni12]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

I'm sorry. I know you're venting and all but I am frequent poster in the TP section and I kinda find this offensive. I'm sorry you feel the way you do,but we still have feelings..

 

[kassiaethne]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

I'm sorry. I know you're venting and all but I am frequent poster in the TP section and I kinda find this offensive. I'm sorry you feel the way you do,but we still have feelings..

I dont see where she was being offencive. Shes just saying the points that frustrate her and alot of people. Shes just saying it is more ideal to be stable and ready to have a child rather then not.

And i cant blame her for being jealous and frustrated when you go though all the waiting and getting your ab and your c's just arent falling into place. While others who havent gone though the waiting, prepairing, getting your life ready first, just oops I'm pregnant looky that.

Honestly none of this is ment to offend, its ment to get those things you cant say like, im jealous that my sister in law didnt misscarry and i did, its not fair...no i dont really wish she miscarried....i just feel cheated and dont understand what made her better then me in the cosmos. Cant help how i feel, amd you shouldnt try to shame a person for trying to get it out of their system. These arnt personal jabs at ppl, they are things eating us inside

 

[ashybug]

Oh you know when people start pestering about you having babies 3 months after getting married...
and when you finally decide it's time, you discover you have TERRIBLE cycles off of birth control, including excruciating cramps, vomiting, and CYSTS! I have PCOS.
SHUTTUP family. We're working on it. We don't want you to know, because we know your pestering will get a kazillion times worse. I don't want to be asked if I'm pregnant every month...not that you don't do that already...
I just want a normal cycle (even with terrible pms, bring it on!) as long as I start ovulating.... I would be oh so happy!
All those people (like my brother's teenager friends) who get pregnant on accident make me so angry...
We haven't been ttc for very long. But I know it's going to be a very long road ahead of us...it explains why I never got pregnant before getting married when I didn't use any birth control in high school (yeah I was an ignorant little bitch haha).

 

[Eternity]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

I know this is a place where you are free to rant and get everything off of your chest, but please try not to generalise so much. Not all teen mums are like that, maybe most of those on the teen boards here are, but bear in mind that some of them may read this thread!

I'm now 27 and trying for baby number two with my husband. We have our own house, hubby works full time, I work part time and am studying from home, we have been married for nearly six years - nice and stable, but I'm not even sure I'm properly ovulating and have always had irregular cycles, and now know that nothing makes sense in my cycles.

BUT
When I was 17 I had an (to use your word) "oopsie", I wasn't in a serious relationship, I still lived with my parents, I had already left school and was working but the situation wasn't ideal. But everything I did after that has been for my beloved daughter! I coped, in fact I think I'm a good mum judging by how my DD is turning out, polite, kind, smart, helpful.

I may not have a career but I wouldn't change my family for anything and I'm bloody glad I had her when I did so I didn't have to go through all this stress the first time around.

 

[tamithomas]

Honestly I can see both sides. I can see why some are getting offended by AlyCon's comment and I can also see her side as well. I mean, yes not all teen moms are uneducated girls who know nothing about pregnancy and end up with that joy for no reason except being stupid. Some actually take it into their own hands to change their life to make sure their babies life will be good, i know a few..heck a girl i know who was a TP now has an even better life then me income wise and all and she did it all by herself lol.

But at the same time, I see her side because well..here we are, trying and trying and then we see kids having kids which no matter how good they make it for their babies, it's still not supposed to be encouraged which sadly these days with 16 and pregnant it is. At the end of the day, those getting offended by her post..this is a venting post and we should try and not get offended by others posts because if we start getting offended by others, it's gonna not feel so open when it comes to saying what's on our minds. to all!

my vent on the day: DH pulled a muscle during our last session of BD which luckily was on my last day of O but dang it I'm really sexually frustrated lol. Yes I masterbate but it's just not the same

 

[laurac1988]

SMOKERS!!! I'm getting so pissed off with vile, disgusting smokers! I saw a lady earlier who was heavily (REALLY heavily) pregnant, looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge and was puffing away on cigarette after cigarette. INFURIATED!!!

 

[zoomlentil]

SMOKERS!!! I'm getting so pissed off with vile, disgusting smokers! I saw a lady earlier who was heavily (REALLY heavily) pregnant, looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge and was puffing away on cigarette after cigarette. INFURIATED!!!

Tell me about it.. I know someone who does this and it drives me mental. Talk about selfish. I have no sympathy for them at all as my mother was a heavy smoker until she found out that I was on the way - then she quit cold turkey and hasn't smoked a cigarette since. It was immensely hard for her, but she did it for me.

 

[laurac1988]

that's the way it should be. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sisters. All three of us have asthma, my middle sister has bipolar and we all also have PCOS.

Pissed at my mum.

 

[PleaseLouise]

On the whole 'teen mum' side, i disagree that most will end up in bad situations. My sister had her baby at 17 and is married, happily to my niece's father (12 years later). More to the point, my aunt was 13 when she had my cousin, she is still married to the father, they had 2 more children together, own houses in 4 different countries and are more respectable than anyone I know. My cousin is now 29, a lawyer and married with her own 2 children.

I understand where the frustration comes in and I really doubt AlyCon wanted to offend anyone. It's all about the 'why'. It's very hard to swallow when you're listening to people who, often don't want to be a parent, complaining about their situation when we would give anything to be there.

It's easy to get riled on forums (especially when many of us are crazy hormonal!), it's not worth anyone being upset over xx

 

[AlyCon]

I wasnt trying to generalize all teen moms! I know there are teen moms who turn out just fine or even very successful- cuz my mom is an example of that! She had my sister in high school and had three more kids by three more different men by the time she was 23 (i was the last and she and my dad were married,then divorced)! But now at 43, you would never know that she went through that! I wasnt putting anybody down, and i guess you missed a few key words in my post like many (not all), and more likely (not 100% going to happen) or how about the multiple times i said i feel BAD about being judgemental and that if it werent for PCOS i would have been a teem mom too! But i would have gotten married anyway and he probably would have joined the army even sooner and we would still be living the same exact life we do now just with a baby (which is what im trying to make happen now to no avail)! So i completely understand. But the bottom line is that teen moms do have a disadvantage! some rise above it, others drown in it, and their babies suffer! But you cant argue with statistics! I'm not going to start throwing out percentages but we all know that what i said has truth to it. Maybe not for all teen moms, but definitely for the majority of them, especially in the beginning. If all teen moms ended up with a perfect life, it wouldnt even be an issue. And BTW this is a VENT thread! The whole point of me posting here was 1- its less likely that teen moms will be on this forum, and 2- i THOUGHT i could vent here WITHOUT judgement as thats the purpose of this thread. Theres something seriously wrong here if we can post here insulting our CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY, but not make statements about the FACTS of teen pregnancy. Damn, you act like i posted that ON the teen pregnancy forum! Now that would have been rude and mean, and i would deserve to be hassled for it. But my vent is MY VENT! If you dont like it, keep scrolling!!!

 

[CaliDreaming]

I remember reading a vent about a younger woman who was frustrated because an much older family member in her 40's conceived on accident while she was struggling. I am in my late 30's as well, but I still was able to read it and understand why the young lady was so frustrated by the news. I didn't read it as a personal attack, or that the young woman was saying that some women are too old to be having babies, but that she was expressing a moment of frustration at the irony of the situation.

All of this to say that I hope this thread stays a place where we can vent away our frustrations, because so much of what we go through we have to keep inside. I think we have to keep in mind that every post in this thread is offensive to someone. TTC is hell and I think we desperately need a place where we can let these emotions out even when they aren't pretty. We all need to support each other because young, old, rich, or poor, when it comes to TTC we are all in the same boat.

 

[zoomlentil]

that's the way it should be. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sisters. All three of us have asthma, my middle sister has bipolar and we all also have PCOS.

Pissed at my mum.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear all that.

From memory my mum smoked throughout her pregnancy with my sister (in 1970 when smoking health risks were not widely known) and she has very bad asthma.

 

[Babybbumbleb]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

I understand how your feeling and all but you really don't need to say things like this. My boyfriend and I are 18, and we tried for our baby, I had a MC 3 months earlier before getting pregnant now.. Yes I agree that. A lot of girls in teens won't have their baby daddy's or no support or anything. But don't forget that there are some of us who do and who ARE stable and tried for our baby. No baby is a "oopsie" anyways! Maybe the baby wasn't planned, that is what you should of said. I understand your venting because your mad you haven't fell pregnant and you see young girls who are, or everyone around you, I understand how you are feeling. You aren't even a year older then me so dont try to act like you are high and mighty because you are married and have your shit together. Because although me and my OH aren't married, we have our life together. He makes 18$ a hour working in construction and I am going to school to become a nurse.. So there you go.. What you said was hurtful and you should of said your words differently and thought before you spoke out about something. Becaus as you said, you coul of had a unplanned child with your husband because you guys never used protection. So you could of became one of those girls in your high school. Remember that.

 

[PleaseLouise]

Just to clarify, I wasn't trying to get at you for your vent AlyCon, I was just trying to play devils advocate. I really do see your point and understand your frustrations, as I'm sure most do. It's difficult to understand how much of your life is affected by TTC until you've been in this position. Hell, I've had my days where I could happily have fallen out with friends and family over pregnancy and baby related issues.

We all really need this thread so let's keep it going as it was

Which brings me to today's vent/ confession... I've been sick to the back teeth of hearing my best friend complain of morning sickness (if I had a baby for every time I said "I'd give anything to have ms"!). Anyway, today I got a phone call from her husband saying she's been admitted to hospital with hyperemesis and is dangerously dehydrated I guess that's another 'have to go through it to appreciate it'. I feel awful, HATE the emotions that come with TTC - suddenly everyone is an enemy!

 

[AlyCon]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

I understand how your feeling and all but you really don't need to say things like this. My boyfriend and I are 18, and we tried for our baby, I had a MC 3 months earlier before getting pregnant now.. Yes I agree that. A lot of girls in teens won't have their baby daddy's or no support or anything. But don't forget that there are some of us who do and who ARE stable and tried for our baby. No baby is a "oopsie" anyways! Maybe the baby wasn't planned, that is what you should of said. I understand your venting because your mad you haven't fell pregnant and you see young girls who are, or everyone around you, I understand how you are feeling. You aren't even a year older then me so dont try to act like you are high and mighty because you are married and have your shit together. Because although me and my OH aren't married, we have our life together. He makes 18$ a hour working in construction and I am going to school to become a nurse.. So there you go.. What you said was hurtful and you should of said your words differently and thought before you spoke out about something. Becaus as you said, you coul of had a unplanned child with your husband because you guys never used protection. So you could of became one of those girls in your high school. Remember that.

First of all, LEARN TO READ! Cuz if you did you would see that i said i could have been a teen mom, and on some level i kind of wish i had been if it wouldve saved me the trouble im having now! It may seem like im the close minded one but really its you because apparently you chose to focus on the two sentences about the struggles of teen moms and ignore the parts where i said i feel bad and even jealous! And you would also have been able to see that i've made another post since then where i've elaborated on what meant by the things i said. So im not going to repeat all that to you! like i said LEARN TO READ and have your facts straight before attacking some one for having an opinion different from yours. I never personally attacked you in my post yet you seem to think its fair to personally attack me?? I DONT THINK SO. If you know you have your shit together then dont worry about what i said! It obviously doesnt refer to you since you're an adult and (im assuming) out of high school. You're not even in the demographic i'm talking about! So quick to jump down my throat when i wasnt even referring to you! And dont tell me what i "should've said" I SAID EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL I WANTED TO SAY AND MEANT EVERY WORD OF IT! And unlike you, i never personally attcked anybody! i maturely chose to post my opinion on a VENTING THREAD where i THOUGHT i could say anything without the judgement of closed minded people like you! We may be less than a year a part in age but you obviously still have a lot of growing up to do!

 

[Babybbumbleb]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

I understand how your feeling and all but you really don't need to say things like this. My boyfriend and I are 18, and we tried for our baby, I had a MC 3 months earlier before getting pregnant now.. Yes I agree that. A lot of girls in teens won't have their baby daddy's or no support or anything. But don't forget that there are some of us who do and who ARE stable and tried for our baby. No baby is a "oopsie" anyways! Maybe the baby wasn't planned, that is what you should of said. I understand your venting because your mad you haven't fell pregnant and you see young girls who are, or everyone around you, I understand how you are feeling. You aren't even a year older then me so dont try to act like you are high and mighty because you are married and have your shit together. Because although me and my OH aren't married, we have our life together. He makes 18$ a hour working in construction and I am going to school to become a nurse.. So there you go.. What you said was hurtful and you should of said your words differently and thought before you spoke out about something. Becaus as you said, you coul of had a unplanned child with your husband because you guys never used protection. So you could of became one of those girls in your high school. Remember that.

First of all, LEARN TO READ! Cuz if you did you would see that i said i could have been a teen mom, and on some level i kind of wish i had been if it wouldve saved me the trouble im having now! It may seem like im the close minded one but really its you because apparently you chose to focus on the two sentences about the struggles of teen moms and ignore the parts where i said i feel bad and even jealous! And you would also have been able to see that i've made another post since then where i've elaborated on what meant by the things i said. So im not going to repeat all that to you! like i said LEARN TO READ and have your facts straight before attacking some one for having an opinion different from yours. I never personally attacked you in my post yet you seem to think its fair to personally attack me?? I DONT THINK SO. If you know you have your shit together then dont worry about what i said! It obviously doesnt refer to you since you're an adult and (im assuming) out of high school. You're not even in the demographic i'm talking about! So quick to jump down my throat when i wasnt even referring to you! And dont tell me what i "should've said" I SAID EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL I WANTED TO SAY AND MEANT EVERY WORD OF IT! And unlike you, i never personally attcked anybody! i maturely chose to post my opinion on a VENTING THREAD where i THOUGHT i could say anything without the judgement of closed minded people like you! We may be less than a year a part in age but you obviously still have a lot of growing up to do!

REAL MATURE... I could be a total bitch and say things that should be said, but I don't want to get this thread closed to other women who need it. Hope you get your LO soon and I wish nothing but the best for you hun

 

[AlyCon]

Whatever helps you sleep at night, hun. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and i hope your baby is happy and healthy.

 

[hunni12]

I'm sorry aly but you're out of line. My mom was a single parent to 4 having most in her teen years. No our father's wasn't there but I believe I turned out fine ..as stated before I'm sorry u haven't gotten your bfp yet but somethings should not be said. And yes I have gotten bashed on here because I made a rant so people do do it. I tried for 3 months so I do know the pain of seeing negatives. I do lurk here because I still try to help ladies ttc. No my life isn't easy but I work my ass to provide for my LO.. it's tough. Good luck to you.