What age do you think it is ok to leave children at home?

[emyandpotato]

I thought high school? There are no after school clubs from 11+ as far as I know so I guess it's just assumed they can come home alone and look after themselves for a while? I don't remember what age I was left at home alone but I'd walk to school alone from about 8 and take my dog on walks for a few hours alone from the same age.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

Just popping to the shops probably year 6/secondary school, so 11-12.

After school or for longer periods of time 13+

I always said it wouldn't be until at least secondary school but now with DD1 about to go into year 6 I realise it wouldn't really be fair and probably a little bit silly really to just shove her in at the deep end next September and expect her to get the bus to and from school, never having any experience of being on her own.

I would rather teach her now to be that little bit more independant for shorter periods of time where I'm only 5 minutes away then just expect her to cope for 45 minutes next year being 18 miles away iykwim?

Luckily she is very sensible and I think it helps that she is one of the older ones in her year so will very nearly be 11 by the time she goes back, doesn't make it any easier knowing that though and I'm still dreading it lol

 

[Natsku]

I thought high school? There are no after school clubs from 11+ as far as I know so I guess it's just assumed they can come home alone and look after themselves for a while? I don't remember what age I was left at home alone but I'd walk to school alone from about 8 and take my dog on walks for a few hours alone from the same age.

After school care here stops at 3rd grade (age 9) and school ends around 2 so kids are expected to be on their own by that age at the latest really (as not all first and second graders will get a space in the clubs) so, on average, kids that age ought to be mature and sensible enough to be left alone.

 

[Raven24]

i dont think ill leave mine untill they are teenagers, i just cant imagine leaving a child under 10 for any length of time at all so many things can go wrong and no matter how sensible a child might be how can you account for external factors?

 

[Blah11]

I have a 5.5 year old who is quite sensible for her age but nowhere near being able to leave her alone. She atill does silly things like leaving taps running. 7 is far far too young.

 

[stephx]

I have a 10yr old and def not mature enough to be responsible for themselves.

Depends on the child. I was responsible to be on my own at that age and walking to/from primary school alone, making my own tea etc.

Wouldn't have learnt to be independant and mature unless I was given that responsibilty/ trust. I do think this generation in general are alot more sheltered.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My son has autism, so not unnecessary sheltering. My 8yr old wouldn't be left either though. Not yet. I dont know what a (non autistic) 10yr old is like so time will tell we were never left alone till secondary and I moved out and fended for myself at 16 so waiting around never done me any harm on the independence stakes 😊

 

[pinkstarbinks]

Possibly age 12 x

 

[Natsku]

I have a 10yr old and def not mature enough to be responsible for themselves.

Depends on the child. I was responsible to be on own at that age and walking to/from primary school alone, making my own tea etc.

Wouldn't have learnt to independant and mature unless I was given that responsibilty/ trust. I do think this generation in general are alot more sheltered.

Definitely have to be given responsibility in order to learn responsibility. Read a blog of an American teaching in a school over here and he wrote about a 2nd grader (8 years old) who walks home a mile by herself through the city after school, gets in and cooks herself a snack (fried eggs are her favourite) and gets started on her homework while waiting for her mum to get home. Kids can handle a lot more than many of us think.

 

[weewdy]

I personally dont know because my daughter is only 2 and i have no idea what she will be like when she is older. But those of you that are saying a minimum of 13, do you let your kids out to play? Because in my area kids are out playing alone from the age of around 4 (i wilp not be doing it with mine) and that in my opinion is just as risky as leaving a child in a house. I dont see why a 10yr old couldnt be left for 5 mins.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Good in some ways but unnecessary in others. They learn when ready IMO.

 

[LoraLoo]

My eldest is almost 14 n I'd leave her 1-2 hours max. I wouldn't leave my 10 year old or any of the younger ones x

 

[smileyfaces]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

 

[Natsku]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

 

[smileyfaces]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

Or perhaps be there with them...

 

[Natsku]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

Or perhaps be there with them...

Not always possible. School finishes between 12 and 2 at that age here, so if both parents are working and they don't get a care place then there is no other option unless you have grandparents available which not everyone has.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I felt sick thinking of my socket burning wtf would happen if they were on own and didnt smell it. Or had a accident ie fall down stairs etc. Even adults have accidents. Esp at home.

 

[smileyfaces]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

Or perhaps be there with them...

Not always possible. School finishes between 12 and 2 at that age here, so if both parents are working and they don't get a care place then there is no other option unless you have grandparents available which not everyone has.

In that instance, for me, it would be a case of looking for a new job with better hours or employing a childminder to collect from school! I just personally cant comprehend the expectation that a 7yr old is to make their way home from school and fend for themselves. Maybe Im just over protective?!?!

 

[Pearls18]

I would love to know what the general consensus nationally would be, I imagine babyandbump users are more likely to state an older age, or if in fact the consensus here is nationally similar what has changed generationally. I was left on my own in the holidays from a young age, I can't remember how young, I never had to cook for myself, but I remember not being allowed to open the door, answer the phone or tell my friends I was on my own, I know it was something my parents didn't like doing but they struggled with childcare. I asked hubby and he said 13/14 which surprised me as I thought he would be more chilled, his mum left him and his 3 siblings alone for a WEEKEND when he was primary aged.....!!! Apparently the neighbours "checked in"....! My own answer is I genuinely don't know, I don't have dealings with children/young teenagers so can't remember what the general capability is, I would have thought by high school though I would be happy for them to let themselves in from school but I'm from a very rural area, perhaps if we stayed in London I might not feel like that?

The woman on tv this morning said she left her 4 year old (with older siblings mind but not much older I dont think?) she's a well know journalist!!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Not over protective for a 7yr old smiley. I dont know any to walk alone that age!