What age do you think it is ok to leave children at home?

[Lauraxamy]

I agree they do need to learn to be independent but not at the age of 7, they're still so young, my daughter is 4 so that would be me leaving her alone i n less than 3 years time, I just couldn't imagine doing that?! If I really, really couldn't find any child care I'd rather not work or change jobs. I couldn't let my 7 year old walk them-self home from school, let them-self in and then be alone for hours. The before and after school child care my LO's nursery runs (which they'll go to when they go to school) is up until the age of 11 so my two will go there until then.

 

[Natsku]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

Or perhaps be there with them...

Not always possible. School finishes between 12 and 2 at that age here, so if both parents are working and they don't get a care place then there is no other option unless you have grandparents available which not everyone has.

In that instance, for me, it would be a case of looking for a new job with better hours or employing a childminder to collect from school! I just personally cant comprehend the expectation that a 7yr old is to make their way home from school and fend for themselves. Maybe Im just over protective?!?!

Well most 7 year olds aren't expected to do that here either but it can end up being that way, but by 9 they certainly are expected to and it would be considered over-protective not to let them do it.
7 year olds (even 6 year olds if they go to preschool at a big school rather than a daycare centre) will walk to and from school alone most of the time though and consider it mortally embarrassing if their parents walk them to school!

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I am curious as to what the ones saying 13 are going to do when said child starts secondary school, bearing in mind that they will still only be 11-12?

I'm not getting at anyone it's just I always said that it would be a lot later than what I'm now thinking. I mean DD1 goes to secondary school next September which will more than likely be 18 miles away, it's not like I can take her there and even if I could I really don't think I could do that to her. I know I would have been mortified if my mum had dropped me off once at secondary, plus I wanted to do the bus journey with all my friends.

She nearly 11 and still hasn't been out or left alone yet, I'm thinking though that I'm going to have to start soon as isn't it a bit unfair just to then expect her to cope next year without having had no other experience of coping without me being there?

I do personally think that 7-8 is far too young though, DD2 is 6 and there is know way on earth I would leave her in the house for 2 minutes let alone walk home from school on her own even in a years time. I find it a bit bizarre that people actually do.

 

[lindseymw]

I'm not sure to be honest.

I was walking to & from School alone at quite a young age (15 min walk). I also used to spend the entire day with friends up the woods and come back when it started to get dark. I was about 8 years+ and of course we didn't have mobile phones then!

I remember late primary school, my parents were out of the house before I left for School so my Sister & I would get up, get breakfast, get ready and go to School without adult supervision.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I live rural and id say 85% of secondary kids are still being picked up as most probably live 4/5miles away when the road has no path for walking and used by tankers so not overly safe for cyclists. Nearly all junior children here areaccompanied to the gate. I walked alone year 7 and it never harmed my independence having to wait ☺

 

[dgirllamius]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

Or perhaps be there with them...

Not always possible. School finishes between 12 and 2 at that age here, so if both parents are working and they don't get a care place then there is no other option unless you have grandparents available which not everyone has.

In that instance, for me, it would be a case of looking for a new job with better hours or employing a childminder to collect from school! I just personally cant comprehend the expectation that a 7yr old is to make their way home from school and fend for themselves. Maybe Im just over protective?!?!

Well most 7 year olds aren't expected to do that here either but it can end up being that way, but by 9 they certainly are expected to and it would be considered over-protective not to let them do it.
7 year olds (even 6 year olds if they go to preschool at a big school rather than a daycare centre) will walk to and from school alone most of the time though and consider it mortally embarrassing if their parents walk them to school!

It's like that here too. I see kids as young as 6 or 7 walking alone to school. I do find it a bit odd but it's not something I'm used to. You never hear in the news about kids being abducted from walking to or from school. School finishes here at either 12 or 1 - tell me how many jobs you can find that can work around that. That's why many mothers here stay at home while the husband/partner goes to work (especially at a time when the kids can't be left alone - or they do manage to find a job that works around school hours).

I'd probably leave LO alone from about age 12. That's around the time I was allowed to be home alone. Seems like a good age.

 

[freckleonear]

I leave my 6 year old while I pop to the corner shop for 5 minutes. I'm guessing I might feel comfortable leaving him for 30 minutes or so by the time he is 10, but it's impossible to know in advance. I can't imagine leaving any child younger than a teenager alone whilst going to work, as in the recent news story.

 

[x__amour]

11-13, I would say. I think it depends on maturity level.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Quickly popping to the shops. I would say 11. For long periods I would say 13/14 x

 

[tina3747]

10/11 popping to the shops. My eldest was left for an hour plus around 13. I'd never have dreamt of doing it before then. I think it's great teaching them responsibility etc but that's great for emergencies not daily life.

A lot of my friends are now asking if my 15 yr old will be babysitting our 3 yr old for evenings out.. Personally it's still too young for me, regardless of ages in the past ! I was babysitting a 6 week old at 13 for a whole evening... I shudder at the thought now!

 

[bumpy_j]

Around 12 if it's not overnight.

 

[cncem]

This is a good question, and one my husband and I disagree on. I was left alone at home at the age of six for the first time, because I was in trouble and couldn't go out to dinner with my family, but my father was not father of the year.

My daughter is 11 and I think it's ok for her to stay home for abit if I pop out to the drugstore real quick. My husband doesn't think it's ok. There is no law in Texas that a child has to be a certain age, it's up to the parents to determine maturity of the child.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I live rural and id say 85% of secondary kids are still being picked up as most probably live 4/5miles away when the road has no path for walking and used by tankers so not overly safe for cyclists. Nearly all junior children here areaccompanied to the gate. I walked alone year 7 and it never harmed my independence having to wait ☺

Oh I'm not saying it would harm independence at all. Like I said DD1 is nearly 11 and so far hasn't been either left on her own or out on her own. I also don't plan on letting her walk to school on her own for her last year either although I do see a lot of year 6's doing it.

What I was planning on doing was maybe leaving her for 10 minutes occasionally at the beginning of next year and maybe letting her out with friends for half hour here or there as am worried about her making a long journey on her own after having no experience iykwim?

The local school is literally a 5 minute walk if that but we are hoping she will be going to the nearest grammar which is 18 miles away. Luckily she will only have a 3-4 minute walk to catch the bus which will then take her straight into school.

Like I said I don't mean anyone in particular am just curious as until recently I also said 12-13 but now realise this isn't going to be possible for at least us. She already thinks I'm mean as all of her friends already go off round the block to the park and she seems to be the only one that hasn't yet lol

 

[Natsku]

Im actually shocked that some would leave an under ten for a length of time (longer than just nipping to the shop). No matter how much independence you think they may have, a 7/8/9 year old could not be trusted alone to deal with an emergency at home. That is just alien to me.

You shouldn't expect a 7/8/9 year old to deal with an emergency at home alone. You teach them to get out of the house and call mum or dad or emergency services as appropriate.

Or perhaps be there with them...

Not always possible. School finishes between 12 and 2 at that age here, so if both parents are working and they don't get a care place then there is no other option unless you have grandparents available which not everyone has.

In that instance, for me, it would be a case of looking for a new job with better hours or employing a childminder to collect from school! I just personally cant comprehend the expectation that a 7yr old is to make their way home from school and fend for themselves. Maybe Im just over protective?!?!

Well most 7 year olds aren't expected to do that here either but it can end up being that way, but by 9 they certainly are expected to and it would be considered over-protective not to let them do it.
7 year olds (even 6 year olds if they go to preschool at a big school rather than a daycare centre) will walk to and from school alone most of the time though and consider it mortally embarrassing if their parents walk them to school!

It's like that here too. I see kids as young as 6 or 7 walking alone to school. I do find it a bit odd but it's not something I'm used to. You never hear in the news about kids being abducted from walking to or from school. School finishes here at either 12 or 1 - tell me how many jobs you can find that can work around that. That's why many mothers here stay at home while the husband/partner goes to work (especially at a time when the kids can't be left alone - or they do manage to find a job that works around school hours).

I'd probably leave LO alone from about age 12. That's around the time I was allowed to be home alone. Seems like a good age.

It would be pretty hard to find a job that finishes that early but here most mothers work if there aren't younger kids still at home. Like you said, you never hear in the news about kids being abducted walking to school, its just so rare. There was a news article a few months ago reporting a man following young girls in one city but the slant of the article was to warn parents not to let fear stop them letting their kids out by themselves rather than warning them to keep their kids inside.

 

[Caite]

I don't have children but I do volunteer with teenagers. Some of them are really mature, but others, well, I'd worry about them being in a room by themselves for 5 minutes! I think it definitely depends on the child. However, I don't think I could leave a child younger than a teenager at home alone.

My mum didn't work when I was a young child, and it was just mum and my grandparents, so even when she did go back out to work, our grandparents were there. When I was about 12 my granddad was very poorly in hospital, and eventually died. Children weren't allowed to visit, so all the family, except me and my sister and my older cousin who didn't want to visit him, were at the hospital. My cousin came over to babysit us for the day (that was actually the first time we were ever looked after by someone other than our mum, nan or granddad!). Until I moved out at 23, my nan at least was always home when I got in from school/college/uni/work.

At about 14, I spent a lot of my summer holiday at a friends house. Her both parents worked, so we would be home alone at her house all summer. I used to get up really early normally every day, so I'd get up, walk her dogs, walk the neighbour's dogs and do all the jobs her mum would leave for us (shopping, going to the post office etc) so we could just spend the day swimming in the river or whatever else we used to get up to.

 

[Rainbow82]

It depends on the child but probably about 10 for popping to shops/out for an hour and secondary age to be left alone between school finishing and work finishing.

I grew up on RAF bases and had an unbelievable amount if freedom sometimes from age 9 or so being able to take my bike and play about three miles away but then there were always soldiers patrolling all over camp so if we got in trouble someone would soon be there. I walked to school on my own from 7ish, stayed alone from about 9/10 but only if the neighbours are home to go to if I had a problem. By 13 I was babysitting my brothers and other peoples children at night. However I appreciate that growing up on bases where everyone knew everyone and would look out for/feed any number if kids playing with their own isn't the norm now. My brothers had a childminder till secondary school started then they were alone for 30 minutes till I got home.

 

[tallybee]

Age about 10, I had a house key, sometimes Mum would be held up so I'd let myself and brother (8) in and wait on her. She worked way across the other end of town so sometimes she could get caught up. When she was working and we were on school hols we'd go in with her n sit in a separate room with a book or sit in the car lol.

My son is 10 now and gets left for short lengths of time like 15 mins but NOT both kids together (my daughter is 8 and hasn't been left alone in the house, the 2 of them can fight so both of them without supervision would be bad!) They were walking to and from school themselves until the summer break (half a mile) and once they're settled in their new school and confident with the route they will do the same after we move, this will be closer to a mile walk but with lollipop men/ladies at the roads they need to cross.

They both are allowed to play outside and go to friends houses with a lot of freedom. They have mobiles.

They know basic rules like not to use the cooker with no adult around (though they are capable of cooking a simple meal with minimal input) and if there's an emergency to phone, and obvs anything like a fire they know how to call 999.

In this area kids do get a lot of freedom which is brilliant really, I hope it's not too different in the new place. I think with the playing out and walking to school thing it not only depends on the child but very much on the area too, like how busy/fast the roads are etc.

 

[Mrs R]

As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.

 

[CRWx]

PP ^

The posters that have said younger ages are in different countries for the most part, it's culturally different, I don't think it's fair for you to 'shame' them.

I personally think that 6 or 7 is too young but if that's the done thing you can't really expect a vastly different answer?

xxx

 

[Eidson23]

From a 911 dispatchers perspective, I really have to say a lot of women here under estimate children during emergencies! Some of my best callers have been under the age of 15 years old. And these days, people are giving their (very young!) children cell phones for emergencies anyways. I have had some very serious emergencies called in by young children, who remain more calm and collected and give me WAY better info than most adults do in the same situation. I have literally never, in my 7 years of doing this job, had a child caller that was not 100% cooperative and easy to walk through literally life-saving instructions with. One example is a 10 year old boy that I walked through CPR on his own MOTHER. She is alive today because he didn't lose his damn mind like 98% of adults do when someone stops breathing.

As for me, I do leave my son alone at home, at 7 years old only for very short periods of time. I'll go for a run sometimes, if he doesn't feel like running with me, I only go for about 15-30 minutes at a time, and 99% of the time one of us leaves our cell phone with him so he can call one of us or the police. We also have a decent alarm system, which he knows very well how to operate and press the panic button if needed. BUT, I also keep in mind that not all children are equipped these days to be left alone at home. My son knows what he can and can't do, and I trust him to not do anything dangerous. he just plays his Xbox or Nintendo handheld or watches TV and he's usually in the same exact spot when I get home.

I wouldn't leave him alone during a work shift or the sorts probably until he's 11 or 12 years old. I'm saying that just based on what kind of child he is. I think it's every parent's discretion of course, but I was left alone at a young age with my older sister who's only 3 years older than me while my mom was at work. Yes, we got into trouble, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. Accidents are going to happen whether you're there or not, children should learn from a young age about responsibility to minimize (I say minimize, because elimination is impossible no matter how sheltered or coddled kids are) hazards, accidents, and mistakes.

Edit: I HAVE to add that my son won't ever walk to/from school or be out and about while I'm not home. Another "perk" of working for public safety is that I'm paranoid about what OTHER people will do to my child, not what he will do to himself.