What age do you think it is ok to leave children at home?

[mummy3]

I have no problems leaving my 10 year old home for a couple hours or so or to the store if needed. She has her phone and I trust her 100% My almost 7 year son though wouldn't cope and I cant imagine him being ready at 10. Depends on the child

 

[JessdueJan]

I agree with it depends on the child. My older brother and I were allowed to dodge out of shopping and be left alone from both being around the 9-10 mark if it was the middle of the day and my mam wasn't doing a big shop. My younger brother however wasn't allowed until at least 11 because he was a bit 'silly' was known for trying things to see what would happen so parents thought it not wise. That being said it had no detrimental affect on him and his level of responsibility now, at 18 went off to uni and became very independent. My older brother who was always independent from a young age is now living back at home with my parents getting all his meals and washing done for him
The law is right in as much as it is common sense and down to safety and how well your child does or does not understand that

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I had no idea I could be popping to the shops without my pain in the bum 10yr old

 

[dgirllamius]

As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.

Then shame to the thousands upon thousands of parents in this country. I hear more child abductions from the uk which is smaller, less populated than Germany. To be quite honest in the last 4 years I've been living here I haven't heard anything of the sort and I watch and listen to the news regularly, but I've heard of quite a few that's happened in the UK in that same period. If I called social services at every time I've seen kids walking home alone who look no older than 8 I'd probably get laughed at - it's the norm here, different country, different cultures and certainly no ones place to say that's shameful.

 

[morri]

In germany school start as 6=7 years old and kids are taught to get to school themselves. Anyway, i think we were left at home by ourselves at about 10 yrars old

 

[Natsku]

As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.

Shame on you for not understanding that different cultures raise their children differently. When you raise children the Finnish way (or German way, or Swedish way etc. etc.) you raise children that are able to be left alone for varying lengths of time at 7 years old.

It isn't hard to stick them in the car with you, its much harder to raise them so you don't have to stick them in the car. Its much harder to not let fear govern you and let go of your worries so you can teach them how to take care of themselves because they will need to do so in just a short time.

My kid will most likely have to move away to another city on her own at 16 because the high school is probably going to close down in my town. If I wait until 13 to start trusting her to be on her own she is unlikely to be mature enough to live independently by 16, at least there is less chance and it will be more stressful to teach her that level of maturity and responsibility.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My issue is not 'abduction' more just safety and also being old enough to accept other peoples mistakes too- crap drivers for instance.

 

[Natsku]

My issue is not 'abduction' more just safety and also being old enough to accept other peoples mistakes too- crap drivers for instance.

That's the kind of thing where it depends on area. If I lived somewhere with busy roads I'd think twice about letting Maria walk to school by herself. I wouldn't let her play out front by herself now if I lived on a busy road either (the only cars that go down my road are the people living here really so its very quiet and there's speed bump outside my house so they drive slowly)

 

[lindseymw]

Mrs R,

You would seriously investigate a family if their under 10 walked to School without adult supervision? I would say around 80% of the kids at Joshua's School walk without their parents. It's only the first couple of years where you see parents walking with them.

At 11 years old, they are walking to Secondary School (for some it's not a 'short' walk, it's a good couple of miles). The Secondary School also takes children out of town, these children get the bus (about a 20 min bus ride, public transport not school bus)....all of this is considered normal where I live. It's been the same for a very long time. I really don't think 300+ families would get investigated because their children walk/catch the bus to School at 11 years old.

 

[Lauraxamy]

Mrs R,

You would seriously investigate a family if their under 10 walked to School without adult supervision? I would say around 80% of the kids at Joshua's School walk without their parents. It's only the first couple of years where you see parents walking with them.

At 11 years old, they are walking to Secondary School (for some it's not a 'short' walk, it's a good couple of miles). The Secondary School also takes children out of town, these children get the bus (about a 20 min bus ride, public transport not school bus)....all of this is considered normal where I live. It's been the same for a very long time. I really don't think 300+ families would get investigated because their children walk/catch the bus to School at 11 years old.

Around here it's similar, as from secondary school age you have to catch a bus into town to get to school as I live in the middle of no where however my friend works in a school in this area and so does my Mum and if an adult isn't present at the end of the day to pupils under the age of 10/11 then they don't let them go alone, they ring the parents.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I'd say around 10-11 so in time for starting high school.

 

[lindseymw]

Mrs R,

You would seriously investigate a family if their under 10 walked to School without adult supervision? I would say around 80% of the kids at Joshua's School walk without their parents. It's only the first couple of years where you see parents walking with them.

At 11 years old, they are walking to Secondary School (for some it's not a 'short' walk, it's a good couple of miles). The Secondary School also takes children out of town, these children get the bus (about a 20 min bus ride, public transport not school bus)....all of this is considered normal where I live. It's been the same for a very long time. I really don't think 300+ families would get investigated because their children walk/catch the bus to School at 11 years old.

Around here it's similar, as from secondary school age you have to catch a bus into town to get to school as I live in the middle of no where however my friend works in a school in this area and so does my Mum and if an adult isn't present at the end of the day to pupils under the age of 10/11 then they don't let them go alone, they ring the parents.

It was mentioned in the primary school pack that you have to inform the School how your child is getting home. If you state your child is walking home, they will let them go. If you don't inform them, they will ring the parents. Same for if anyone other than Parents/Pre-approved carers try & pick the child up, they will ring the parents.

 

[Mrs R]

As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.

Then shame to the thousands upon thousands of parents in this country. I hear more child abductions from the uk which is smaller, less populated than Germany. To be quite honest in the last 4 years I've been living here I haven't heard anything of the sort and I watch and listen to the news regularly, but I've heard of quite a few that's happened in the UK in that same period. If I called social services at every time I've seen kids walking home alone who look no older than 8 I'd probably get laughed at - it's the norm here, different country, different cultures and certainly no ones place to say that's shameful.

I agree, shame on thousands upon thousands of parents who are so irresponsible when it comes to their children's safety.

This argument comes up a lot in my profession, ie different culture, different country etc. Just because it's a different culture doesn't mean that I, as a parent, or as a professional have to agree with it.

For example, in my profession, we have found a huge number of families who have settled the UK from Eastern European countries are requiring services and advice when it comes to Domestic Violence (and yes there are statistics, studies to back this up. Goggle it.) Obviously we deal with a tiny minority of these families, but in a lot of our cases, their attitude or tolerance towards domestic violence is very different to ours. Just because they have different values, cultures etc does not mean that we accept it. They must abide by our laws and policies when they move here as we do not accept them breaking the law just because it goes against their culture or is accepted in their country (this is not meant to open another debate, it is just my professional experience. I have worked with many responsible and loving Eastern European families!!)

I am well aware that my opinion is not popular, but your justifications of your irresponsible parenting does not change my mind. I work with parents everyday who excuse leaving young children alone with 'I had to work', 'my babysitter let me down', 'I just went to the local shop for a pizza' etc etc etc. My opinion comes from years of
training on child development, health and safety training, professional experience of exactly this and of course my experience of parenting myself. Shame on me all you want.

I only have a job because of parents with perspectives like this.

I am so horrified by some of the responses on here, I will be unsubscribing so justify your poor parenting all you like without any further input from me.

 

[Natsku]

As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.

Then shame to the thousands upon thousands of parents in this country. I hear more child abductions from the uk which is smaller, less populated than Germany. To be quite honest in the last 4 years I've been living here I haven't heard anything of the sort and I watch and listen to the news regularly, but I've heard of quite a few that's happened in the UK in that same period. If I called social services at every time I've seen kids walking home alone who look no older than 8 I'd probably get laughed at - it's the norm here, different country, different cultures and certainly no ones place to say that's shameful.

I agree, shame on thousands upon thousands of parents who are so irresponsible when it comes to their children's safety.

This argument comes up a lot in my profession, ie different culture, different country etc. Just because it's a different culture doesn't mean that I, as a parent, or as a professional have to agree with it.

For example, in my profession, we have found a huge number of families who have settled the UK from Eastern European countries are requiring services and advices when it comes to Domestic Violence. Obviously we deal with a tiny minority of these families, but in a lot of our cases, their attitude or tolerance towards domestic violence is very different to ours. Just because they have different values, cultures etc does not mean that we accept it. They must abide by our laws and policies when they move here as we do not accept them breaking the law just because it goes against their culture or is accepted in their country (this is not meant to open another debate, it is just my professional experience. I have worked with many responsible and loving Eastern European families!!)

I am well aware that my opinion is not popular, but your justifications of your irresponsible parenting does not change my mind. I work with parents everyday who excuse leaving young children alone with 'I had to work', 'my babysitter let me down', 'I just went to the local shop for a pizza' etc etc etc. My opinion comes from years of
training on child development, health and safety training, professional experience of exactly this and of course my experience of parenting myself. Shame on me all you want.

I only have a job because of parents with perspectives like this.

I am so horrified by some of the responses on here, I will be unsubscribing so justify your poor parenting all you like without any further input from me.

Children are safer here and in Germany with out "irresponsible" parenting (that produces much nicer and more sensible kids in my experience) than in the UK so I'm quite happy to continue that trend. Comparing violence to encouraging independence is a pretty poor argument (and talking of violence, at least its not legal to be violent i.e. smacking, to your child in Finland unlike in the UK)

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I agree with you Mrs R.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Yes. Our uk children are horrid. Sighhhh

 

[Mrs R]

I am not from the UK and therefore do not work with UK law. For anybody genuinely interested here is some widely available info;

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health’ (Children and Young Person’s Act).

How mature is the child?
The most important factor to consider is how mature the child is. For example, it may be okay to leave a mature 12 year old alone, but not a 13 year old who is not mature.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) advises that:

children under the age of about 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

 

[Natsku]

Yes. Our uk children are horrid. Sighhhh

UK children aren't horrid of course but when it comes down to it I'd rather come across a gang of Finnish teens than British teens (although teens are fairly horrid everywhere really!)

 

[Natsku]

I am not from the UK and therefore do not work with UK law. For anybody genuinely interested here is some widely available info;

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health’ (Children and Young Person’s Act).

How mature is the child?
The most important factor to consider is how mature the child is. For example, it may be okay to leave a mature 12 year old alone, but not a 13 year old who is not mature.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) advises that:

children under the age of about 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

Well that one just seems ridiculous to me. How can you trust a 16 year old to live alone if they've never spent a night alone before?!

 

[smileyfaces]

Wow this is all getting rather personal