Kittee
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What kind of mother do you think you'll be?
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I won't be able to stop myself being involved in and as aware as possible of what my kids are up to, even if they resent me for it. I'm one of those people who has to know everything and check everything- certainly not to the extent of reading their diaries or anything- but I will be checking their school bags, talking to teachers, asking them questions, meeting their friends, etc. I know I'm nosy and interfering but hell, I think it's better to know what's going on in your kid's lives, right? 
I believe in modest dress and polite/reserved behaviour in public, both of which my DH and I also practice (as a matter of habit and comfort, not because we're overtly religious or anything). My kids probably will have cell phones, the little-kid type where you can program in only three numbers for them, in case they need a ride home from school or there is an emergency or something. Their friends' numbers will not be programmed into the phone.
I am also a firm believer in educating oneself outside of what is taught in school- I have very little use for some of what they tell those kids in school (Thanksgiving myth for example), and I want my children to know what's really up and going on in the world. It's disturbing how little some people really know when they graduate high school.
My kids will definitely be involved in some sort of activity as well, whether it be sports or music or dance or whatever they're interested in. I didn't do much of anything as a kid (except read), and now I'm an adult with no talents
lol. I know I'll be strict about a lot of things, especially education, and they'll probably hate me for it. They'll probably be in therapy as adults telling their shrinks that their mom was a controlling, eccentric bitch who ranted about social ignorance and falsehoods in their history textbooks... lol oh well.
I believe in modest dress and polite/reserved behaviour in public, both of which my DH and I also practice (as a matter of habit and comfort, not because we're overtly religious or anything). My kids probably will have cell phones, the little-kid type where you can program in only three numbers for them, in case they need a ride home from school or there is an emergency or something. Their friends' numbers will not be programmed into the phone.
I am also a firm believer in educating oneself outside of what is taught in school- I have very little use for some of what they tell those kids in school (Thanksgiving myth for example), and I want my children to know what's really up and going on in the world. It's disturbing how little some people really know when they graduate high school.
My kids will definitely be involved in some sort of activity as well, whether it be sports or music or dance or whatever they're interested in. I didn't do much of anything as a kid (except read), and now I'm an adult with no talents
lol. I know I'll be strict about a lot of things, especially education, and they'll probably hate me for it. They'll probably be in therapy as adults telling their shrinks that their mom was a controlling, eccentric bitch who ranted about social ignorance and falsehoods in their history textbooks... lol oh well.
cillybean83
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I want to be very involved. I love playing with my son, he considers me his best friend and I'm going to enjoy every second of him feeling that way because sooner than I would like, he'll be spreading his wings and flying away
I'm a strict mommy when I have to be though, I punish when I have to. I also enjoy giving my children everything that I can and I don't consider it spoiling. They'll have to work for what they want their entire adult lives, I want to make childhood as fun and enjoyable as possible.
I'm a strict mommy when I have to be though, I punish when I have to. I also enjoy giving my children everything that I can and I don't consider it spoiling. They'll have to work for what they want their entire adult lives, I want to make childhood as fun and enjoyable as possible.
Szaffi
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We have started talking a lot about it with OH. It is interesting - we both had really young parents (18-21) and grew up when our respective families have experienced financial difficulties. We are having our first child much later (30-33) and we are fiancially stable. Still we went through a lot of things what our parents did right and what we would take from the way we were brought up.
I grew up basically without TV, and we hardly watch any even now - though we do buy dvds of films and series that interest us. We agreed to introduce TV slowly to our little girl and don't let her watch any crap on CN, etc. but rather the movies/ children programmes we find good. Instead of TV I plan to read her bedtime stories, and maybe sing to her (my dad used to sing to both me and my brother every night, and we both loved it)
Also, we plan to give her balanced meals, restrict sweets, and get her to do some exercize from an early age - whatever she enjoys most.
I'd like to do family outings on the weekends to parks, zoos, castles, do picnics - there is really a lot you can do as a family even with a baby.
I haven't made up my mind on mobile phones - I'm quite the worryworm, so I can see the benefit of being able to call my kid. Also our families live in different countries, so she'll be brought up a little skyper
For video games and internet, instead of prohibiting, we'll try to introduce her to age-appropriate stuff and instead do parental control as regards time and content (luckily, OH is pretty savvy in this). I'd also like to introduce her to board games, cards, etc.
We'll give her the opportunity to explore outside school activities such as music, arts, other hobbies, but will not force anything on her.
It'll be a challenge - we are a bilingual family (Hungarian - US) and the nursery school language will be French. So our baby will be brought up tri-lingual - I hope she'll cope with it and we intend to give her every possible support to get to know her heritage.
I grew up basically without TV, and we hardly watch any even now - though we do buy dvds of films and series that interest us. We agreed to introduce TV slowly to our little girl and don't let her watch any crap on CN, etc. but rather the movies/ children programmes we find good. Instead of TV I plan to read her bedtime stories, and maybe sing to her (my dad used to sing to both me and my brother every night, and we both loved it)
Also, we plan to give her balanced meals, restrict sweets, and get her to do some exercize from an early age - whatever she enjoys most.
I'd like to do family outings on the weekends to parks, zoos, castles, do picnics - there is really a lot you can do as a family even with a baby.
I haven't made up my mind on mobile phones - I'm quite the worryworm, so I can see the benefit of being able to call my kid. Also our families live in different countries, so she'll be brought up a little skyper
For video games and internet, instead of prohibiting, we'll try to introduce her to age-appropriate stuff and instead do parental control as regards time and content (luckily, OH is pretty savvy in this). I'd also like to introduce her to board games, cards, etc.We'll give her the opportunity to explore outside school activities such as music, arts, other hobbies, but will not force anything on her.
It'll be a challenge - we are a bilingual family (Hungarian - US) and the nursery school language will be French. So our baby will be brought up tri-lingual - I hope she'll cope with it and we intend to give her every possible support to get to know her heritage.
geekone
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wow this is really interesting but I have to say with the best respect in the world to you all no one will follow all their own rules no one will be as strict as they think, unconditional love does strange things to people.
As for me I had a good childhood. I plan to bring my child up with morals and able make good decisions to be independant but still need their mum and dad from time to time. To be respectful, loving, kind and thoughtful. I want them to experience everything so that means everything in moderation which means some computer games some TV some internet, some outside play some after school activity whatever THEY choose. I will let them out but have a strict curfew earlier than they expect even if it is only by half an hour. I will always be there when they need (even when they think they dont) me and leave them alone when they dont (even if they think they do some times).
I have one comment on someones post no boys till 18 ouch!! One of the best experience in life is teenage love no one falls in love like a teenager and the highs and lows lf this experiance is what shapes many a womans life and if you dont experience men (not in a naked sense by the way) until 18 it is going to be WAY more difficult to decide what is a good one and what isnt. My parnets taught me morals I had boyfriends from 14/15 with no funny business until I was about 18 and even then I didnt lose my cherry until I was 21 with my now husband so banning boys isnt always the way to go it might make matters worse, sorry,
Love this thread though.
As for me I had a good childhood. I plan to bring my child up with morals and able make good decisions to be independant but still need their mum and dad from time to time. To be respectful, loving, kind and thoughtful. I want them to experience everything so that means everything in moderation which means some computer games some TV some internet, some outside play some after school activity whatever THEY choose. I will let them out but have a strict curfew earlier than they expect even if it is only by half an hour. I will always be there when they need (even when they think they dont) me and leave them alone when they dont (even if they think they do some times).
I have one comment on someones post no boys till 18 ouch!! One of the best experience in life is teenage love no one falls in love like a teenager and the highs and lows lf this experiance is what shapes many a womans life and if you dont experience men (not in a naked sense by the way) until 18 it is going to be WAY more difficult to decide what is a good one and what isnt. My parnets taught me morals I had boyfriends from 14/15 with no funny business until I was about 18 and even then I didnt lose my cherry until I was 21 with my now husband so banning boys isnt always the way to go it might make matters worse, sorry,
Love this thread though.
Kota
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What a fantastic thread!!
Okay, I'm going to try and break this down into sections.
Food: My child will NOT live in a resteraunt, they will NOT get to say "eww, I don't like my dinner (of healthy vegies/meat etc) and be given an alternative of something processed and deep fried. What is served up for dinner is served up for dinner, if you don't like it, I won't force you to sit there until it is finished, however you won't get an alternative, and you will go hungry.
The idea of a mother saying that her 4 yr old 'only eats chips and nuggets' disgusts me as at that age, they shouldn't be deciding their diet. My husband does most of the cooking in our house, and we don't have a single jar/bottle or packet sauce in the cupboard, everything is freshly made and this is what our kids will be bought up on.
In saying that, we do get the occasional take away, but it's a treat, not part of our stable diet and our children will be bought up with this frame of mind re takeaways.
NO MEANS NO! No does not mean, kick off and tantrum until I change my mind. I've seen to many children become spoilt brats because they know that if they whinge, whine and tantrum for long enough, that they will get what they want. You will not go without dear child, but you will also not have every little thing you ask for, the world does not work like that.
TV/Computer games - I have no issue with either of these however in moderation, there will be no tv prior to school EVER, If you are dressed, ready to go, etc, then play with toys, read a book, etc. Plonking on the couch and zoning out before going off to school is not an option. On weekends there will be a time limit placed on both TV watching and video games. When you have used that up, go find something else to do, play outside, go to the park, read, draw, ride a bike. etc.
Mobile Phones - um... why does an 8yr old need a phone???? Nope, Not until 15/16, back in Oz there is a service you can get which you dial a number from any public phone and the standard call charge will go to the home phone bill, but you can only call home with it. If there is an emergency, and my 13/14yr old is out with friends at the cinema or something then they will be able to contact home and me via this.
I guess those are some of the big things, another thing I want to make sure my children never have to go through is listening to their father and I argue. While we dont' do this now, I'm sure one day in the future it may happen, and I don't want my kids lying in their beds covering their ears trying to drown out the sounds of their mum and dad fighting like I had to as a child.
Other then that, our kids will be LOVED, greatly, and I think I'll be a bloody good mum, I'm laid back enough to not get stressed over every little thing, but I have very strong values, work ethic, and manners, my children will learn how to speak (and write) properly and they will know that an education is very important, but it is also not EVERYTHING. Not going to uni does not mean failing. They will learn the value of money from an early age, via pocket money, having to put towards things special things they want, and when they are old enough 15/16 I will be encouraging the to go out and get p/t work.
I think thats enough for now. lol.
Okay, I'm going to try and break this down into sections.
Food: My child will NOT live in a resteraunt, they will NOT get to say "eww, I don't like my dinner (of healthy vegies/meat etc) and be given an alternative of something processed and deep fried. What is served up for dinner is served up for dinner, if you don't like it, I won't force you to sit there until it is finished, however you won't get an alternative, and you will go hungry.
The idea of a mother saying that her 4 yr old 'only eats chips and nuggets' disgusts me as at that age, they shouldn't be deciding their diet. My husband does most of the cooking in our house, and we don't have a single jar/bottle or packet sauce in the cupboard, everything is freshly made and this is what our kids will be bought up on.
In saying that, we do get the occasional take away, but it's a treat, not part of our stable diet and our children will be bought up with this frame of mind re takeaways.
NO MEANS NO! No does not mean, kick off and tantrum until I change my mind. I've seen to many children become spoilt brats because they know that if they whinge, whine and tantrum for long enough, that they will get what they want. You will not go without dear child, but you will also not have every little thing you ask for, the world does not work like that.
TV/Computer games - I have no issue with either of these however in moderation, there will be no tv prior to school EVER, If you are dressed, ready to go, etc, then play with toys, read a book, etc. Plonking on the couch and zoning out before going off to school is not an option. On weekends there will be a time limit placed on both TV watching and video games. When you have used that up, go find something else to do, play outside, go to the park, read, draw, ride a bike. etc.
Mobile Phones - um... why does an 8yr old need a phone???? Nope, Not until 15/16, back in Oz there is a service you can get which you dial a number from any public phone and the standard call charge will go to the home phone bill, but you can only call home with it. If there is an emergency, and my 13/14yr old is out with friends at the cinema or something then they will be able to contact home and me via this.
I guess those are some of the big things, another thing I want to make sure my children never have to go through is listening to their father and I argue. While we dont' do this now, I'm sure one day in the future it may happen, and I don't want my kids lying in their beds covering their ears trying to drown out the sounds of their mum and dad fighting like I had to as a child.
Other then that, our kids will be LOVED, greatly, and I think I'll be a bloody good mum, I'm laid back enough to not get stressed over every little thing, but I have very strong values, work ethic, and manners, my children will learn how to speak (and write) properly and they will know that an education is very important, but it is also not EVERYTHING. Not going to uni does not mean failing. They will learn the value of money from an early age, via pocket money, having to put towards things special things they want, and when they are old enough 15/16 I will be encouraging the to go out and get p/t work.
I think thats enough for now. lol.
Buffy71
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I always think that a slap on little fingers reaching for a plug socket is a damn sight better than the resultant electric shock a child with no discipline or boundaries might get. So the odd little tap here and there will be used - things that are hot - reaching for kettles, pots, fires, electric sockets, etc.
Naughty corner will be used for non-dangerous stuff.
I want to be supportive but not pushy, encourage her to be adventurous but careful..... oh blimey I just heard myself!! (high expectations..... anyone!!). I dont want to mollycoddle her too much (I was a bit wrapped in cottonwool from being a poorly toddler so the real world was a bit of a shock to me when I got to infant school!).
Anyway, she'll be drowned in lots and lots of love from me and her daddy, and also drowned a little in dribble from my lovely dribbly cat whens she's old enough to play with him.
I cant wait to be a mum to my little poppet!
Naughty corner will be used for non-dangerous stuff.
I want to be supportive but not pushy, encourage her to be adventurous but careful..... oh blimey I just heard myself!! (high expectations..... anyone!!). I dont want to mollycoddle her too much (I was a bit wrapped in cottonwool from being a poorly toddler so the real world was a bit of a shock to me when I got to infant school!).
Anyway, she'll be drowned in lots and lots of love from me and her daddy, and also drowned a little in dribble from my lovely dribbly cat whens she's old enough to play with him.
I cant wait to be a mum to my little poppet!
redpoppy
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I will be pretty strict.
No cell phone. (8?? Are you kidding me?) Until 15 or 16.
Since she's a girl she will be in MODEST dress. She will NOT dress up like a brats doll.
I do intend on punishing her and I don't mean a time out in the corner. I do not see a single thing wrong with a spanking. (notice I say spanking, not abuse or "beating.)
Diet: Healthy foods. No McDonalds too often. No soda.
And Piano lessons too.
She will not be able to go out with friends until 16.
No boys at all until 18.
I'm mean huh? =P
But in return she will get all the love in the world from her daddy and me and a quality education.
I think she will thank us when she's an adult. I know I thank my mom for being strict.
Oh and no car until 18. I am not buying her a car.
I WAS going to say I'm going to be a REALLY liberal and hippy sort of mum but then I agree with EVERYTHING you've said. 
But including all the above, I intend to take my kids to festivals and travelling with us. Back packs loaded and experience things. Meet people of different cultures and societies. I want to be honest with them about all drugs and open with them about sex and violence in movies when they're quite young (not STUPID young, just pre-teen though)
I do think I'll be a cool mum I hope BUT i also think I'll have a tendency to get over-involved and my OH will have to balance me out.
A
abbysbaby
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i will beone of those lovely cuddly mummies, making sure she can spea to me about anything and i will also have that strict streak, becus i wudnt want her running riot and being spoilt. i can c me sayin uwill only get a tret until ur brushin ur teeth chat is all filled in. and u can watch tv when ur homeworks done lol
redpoppy
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Oh and in regards to
Video games: They will be timed and in moderation.
TV: I would like MINIMAL TV. A little visual stimulation per week. Prefer films etc.
BOOKS!!!!: MY KIDS WILL BE CAJOLED, SEDUCED, BRIBED, BRAINWASHED AND SURREPTITIOUSLY FORCED TO READ BOOKS. I can't WAIT to read to them. I think there's a hidden wannabe actress in me that always comes out when i'm telling kids stories! 
I can't wait to take them to a library. Some of my early fond memories are of being in the kids library with my mum!!!!
Painting, drawing, playing at home and outside in nature.
Can't wait!!!!
Video games: They will be timed and in moderation.
TV: I would like MINIMAL TV. A little visual stimulation per week. Prefer films etc.
BOOKS!!!!: MY KIDS WILL BE CAJOLED, SEDUCED, BRIBED, BRAINWASHED AND SURREPTITIOUSLY FORCED TO READ BOOKS.
I can't WAIT to read to them. I think there's a hidden wannabe actress in me that always comes out when i'm telling kids stories! I can't wait to take them to a library. Some of my early fond memories are of being in the kids library with my mum!!!!Painting, drawing, playing at home and outside in nature.
Can't wait!!!!
puppycat
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Hello ladies,
lots of interesting points in this thread, I agree with most actually.
I've been thinking a lot about how we'll be as parents. DH is actually a parent already but he's taken on more of a part time role in the last 3 years due to divorcing his ex wife.
I haven't looked too far into the future because I think it depends on how the child is and what they need to be told/shown but initially we'll be sure to teach the child right and wrong and not be too soft. My brother is going through a biting stage atm and no amount oftelling is doing it, if he were my child I'd have bitten him right back and shown him that it hurts and it's not nice but this hasn't happened. Each to their own I guess.
I'm quite a quiet person generally so we don't watch TV, I tend to read books and just potter around tidying and fussing mostly! I think any child picks up on the norm of their household and behaves accordingly (in the first few years at least, before they learn rebellion!)
I do not condone allowing children to have hours of TV and video games, DH's son is a big video game freak and has a TV in his room at our house but he's not mine to tell. This is going to make any rules we place for our child all the more difficult but it's just something we will need to face ...
lots of interesting points in this thread, I agree with most actually.
I've been thinking a lot about how we'll be as parents. DH is actually a parent already but he's taken on more of a part time role in the last 3 years due to divorcing his ex wife.
I haven't looked too far into the future because I think it depends on how the child is and what they need to be told/shown but initially we'll be sure to teach the child right and wrong and not be too soft. My brother is going through a biting stage atm and no amount oftelling is doing it, if he were my child I'd have bitten him right back and shown him that it hurts and it's not nice but this hasn't happened. Each to their own I guess.
I'm quite a quiet person generally so we don't watch TV, I tend to read books and just potter around tidying and fussing mostly! I think any child picks up on the norm of their household and behaves accordingly (in the first few years at least, before they learn rebellion!)
I do not condone allowing children to have hours of TV and video games, DH's son is a big video game freak and has a TV in his room at our house but he's not mine to tell. This is going to make any rules we place for our child all the more difficult but it's just something we will need to face ...
