What not to say:

[poppy666]

My sister bumped into my OH in Asda the same day i went into hospital for an erpc and said " maybe it was too soon after korben ( he's 9mths) and that was probably the reason i MC the baby..... and everything happens for a reason

How insensitive and stupid a comment to make, if she had said that to me id of bitten her head off.

 

[Eternal]

i think a few people have hinted thats the reason for mine, my son would have been 10 month when i conceived, why do people need to say anything other than im sorry and listen?

 

[poppy666]

Well Eternal its a load of rubbish cos i got pregnant with my 3rd whilst my 2nd son was 6wks old x

 

[Megg33k]

Plenty of people get pregnant right away after a baby... Its not uncommon... And, its NO cause for MC!!!

 

[Eternal]

i hoped to convieve early after having my son, started ttc from 3 months. i looked at lots of reaseach before and know there is no contection with back to back pregnacies and MC, still people can be hurtful.

hubby and i just laugh about what people say now

 

[Gem09]

Some people can be really insensitive! I told a friend of mine 2 weeks ago that i miscarried a week before xmas, got the sorrys and the im hear if you want to talk etc, then today get a text off her first thing saying "i know its bad timing but im 13 weeks pregnant"!

I burst into tears and have been so emotional all day!

Really sorry to all you ladies out there who have had to go through this experience, not nice at all!

xxx

 

[poppy666]

Gem thats how i felt when my sister told me she was 7wks pregnant and she knew she was pregnant when she made that awful comment to my OH, i cant even see her at the moment

 

[Gem09]

Know how you feel Poppy, im meant to be meeting up with "friend" next week, i really dont want to as i know i will be emotional!

 

[poppy666]

Really feel for you Gem i cant even face my sister yet. We would of only been 4wks apart in due dates, im not ready to see her yet. If your not ready do push yourself to go just explain to your friend its too early, im sure she'll understand

 

[Gem09]

I hope she does Poppy! I would of been 16 weeks now, 3 weeks ahead of her!

Hopefully your sister will understand what your going through, its a very emotional time!

How long ago was your miscarriage if you dont mind me asking?

 

[poppy666]

I miscarried on 22nd Dec, did you say you did around christmas? My sister is very insensitive to be honest, its ironic now but i bought her the OPKs and told her how to use them & told her when to DTD ( that was the night she fell pregnant).

I also gave her the Preseed i didnt need, my OH went to collect it tonight and all she had to say was " I didnt use it obviously didnt need it" grrrrrrrrrr x

 

[Gem09]

I miscarried naturally on the 16th December, i was in alot of pain!

Hubby has been really supportive, dont know what i would of done without him!

Ohhh dear, she sounds just as insensitive as my friend! I dont think anyone can understand our emotions/feelings until they have experience it.

Its a waiting game now for period to start!

Take Care and dont let your sister get to you xxx

 

[poppy666]

Glad you got the support you needed and yes your right nobody knows how or what we go through till they've experienced it themself.

Take care and dont let your friend get to you too

 

[Megg33k]

I'm so sorry for all of you girls with the terribly insensitive friends/family! I have some of my own... but yours seem to be a bit worse. I'm hoping you all found your support in the good friends/family in your lives!

 

[mummyk2b]

my MIL (who had a mc between by BIL and DH, so should know better!) came to see us less than 3 hours after we found out there was no heartbeat as we were waiting for call to go in for ERPC- despite us asking her not to. she came because my mum doesn't live nearby and she thought I needed a 'mum hug' which was really nice of her.

nice until she sat next to me and said, "well just think of the all the fun you can have trying again".

do you really think that 3 hours after hearing my baby has died and 2 hours before having it removed from my body i was thinking about the joys of sex?!

I feel awful for putting that on here because i know i she probably felt awful as soon as it came out of her mouth but... GRRRR!!!!

 

[Megg33k]

My parents said the same sorts of things... "trying is the fun part"... etc, etc. Of course, when trying turned into IVF, it wasn't much fun.

 

[9babiesgone]

a supposedly close friend, told me that I am sorry for your miscarriag,e and this is probably an bad time, but I'm pregnant. this is only days after my miscarriage. THAT IS not something you tell someone, just days after their loss. and even when you know that it is hurtful you still say it. so wrong. so hurtful

 

[sambam]

I have just miscarried today, and my "friend" said :
" well on the plus side, you won't need to buy a van now "
as i was joking we would need a bigger car to fit 3 car seats in when i found out we were expecting again

 

[Megg33k]

Good lord... your friends say the WORST things!

 

[saintmaria]

Not a bad one in my opinion, but it surprised me to hear something so sensitive come out of my OH's mouth when we MC.

"My mum miscarried before she had me and if she hadn't I wouldn't exist."

I don't know what anyone else would think hearing that, but it made me feel a teeny tiny bit less worse.

The worst was "These things happen." from my best friend who had an abortion at my age.
Really didn't need to hear that.
Most people have kept quiet though, thankfully.