What not to say:

[hopefulmama2b]

Heard a new one today- "Were you taking your prenatals?" Holy shit that was it! Thank god you're here to save my next baby from it's lack of nutrients.

 

[grandbleu]

Heard a new one today- "Were you taking your prenatals?" Holy shit that was it! Thank god you're here to save my next baby from it's lack of nutrients.

Oh my gosh I got that too and guess who it was, a nurse at Planned Parenthood when I was in the midst of painful contractions. They wouldn't even help me and sent me to the emergency room but I got an earful of how it was irresponsible of me to not have seen a doctor. Pre-natals wouldn't have saved our babies. The ignorance of people! Not only that but the nurse continued on after I answered that I had been taking pre-natals and said, "Well they might not have been the right ones." I could have punched her if I weren't profusely bleeding at the time and in pain. Planned Parenthood are no longer a business I support at all...they treated me like an idiot and wouldn't even help me.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Oh my gosh I got that too and guess who it was, a nurse at Planned Parenthood when I was in the midst of painful contractions. They wouldn't even help me and sent me to the emergency room but I got an earful of how it was irresponsible of me to not have seen a doctor. Pre-natals wouldn't have saved our babies. The ignorance of people! Not only that but the nurse continued on after I answered that I had been taking pre-natals and said, "Well they might not have been the right ones." I could have punched her if I weren't profusely bleeding at the time and in pain. Planned Parenthood are no longer a business I support at all...they treated me like an idiot and wouldn't even help me.

It is such an ignorant statement to make. Like I'm sure you were, not only was I taking my pre-natals, but I really was doing everything "by the book." What irritated me so much about the statement was even if I wasn't- like I bet a large majority of woman in the world may not be, due to poverty, lack of education, or lack of availability- I really don't think that would have had a thing to do with it. Some people... And you would think that Planned Parenthood would be better informed and have more experience to handle a situation like yours.

 

[Megg33k]

Ugh... I got that one via my ex-husband from his friend... He told him... "Kenny... Tell her the answer is VITAMINS! She needs to take any vitamins she can!" He informed his friend that I'm not a moron and vitamins aren't the answer to this one.

 

[readytta]

Heard a new one today- "Were you taking your prenatals?" Holy shit that was it! Thank god you're here to save my next baby from it's lack of nutrients.

Your humour made me laugh there! If you don;t laugh you'll either cry...or knock someone's lights out I think.

I was at the docs today after having spotting, mild cramping and backache and she told me

- "there's no reason why I won't go on to have children."

Whoa slow down a minute - I've had 1 mc, I'm possibly (but hopefully not) on a second mc, slow down a bit please. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind until she mentioned it! Talk about insensitive.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Heard a new one today- "Were you taking your prenatals?" Holy shit that was it! Thank god you're here to save my next baby from it's lack of nutrients.

Your humour made me laugh there! If you don;t laugh you'll either cry...or knock someone's lights out I think.

I was at the docs today after having spotting, mild cramping and backache and she told me

- "there's no reason why I won't go on to have children."

Whoa slow down a minute - I've had 1 mc, I'm possibly (but hopefully not) on a second mc, slow down a bit please. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind until she mentioned it! Talk about insensitive.

You're right when you seem to have run out of tears you have to take another approach!

I really hope you aren't experiencing another mc. Your doc needs to learn a little about having a positive attitude. Unless she knew something she wasn't relaying to you it sounds like she jumped the gun...yes, very insensitive.

 

[readytta]

Yeah she was pretty insensitive. I've seen her before and she's usually quite abrupt and to the point but she def jumped the gun this time though I'm suer she thought she was helping. I'm not worried (yet) about never having children, I'm just worried about getting through even the next week of this pregnancy. I hope I'm not having a mc but I just don't know. It sucks to be here again

 

[sara1786]

'These things happen for a reason' Please god damn tell me what reason there could be?

no kidding. i can't think of any reason.

 

[LunaBean]

I always get told 'You're still young (Im 26) and have plenty of time! at least you know you can 'get' pregnant!' If my damn body has killed off SIX babies in 18 months, then obviously I know I can GET pregnant..I don't need to be reminded!

 

[Angel.Mummy]

the worst comment i had was off the doctor tbh
" its proberly for the best, you don't look old enough to raise a hamster " - doctor
" aww well, comming out tonight " - my friend
" you could always have another one " - friend again
" i had a m/c before danny, you just need to get on with it " - OH's mum

 

[Ilovehim89]

I have heard quite a few since i had the miscarriage. "Your body wasnt ready for another baby yet, you just had one 9 months ago." "It was for the best, baby's chromosomes more than likely weren't right" It really hurts to hear people say stuff like that right after a loss

 

[ds0910]

I have one from a psychologist of all people. " There was really something wrong with it. You didn't want that one. God took care of that one for you"?!?! REALLY?!?!OMG!!WTF!?!?!

 

[addie25]

I've heard many of those but the best one was when my friend said well just pretend it's not your baby and u won't be so sad. What on earth was she thinking? Pretend the child in me that I was caring for for 14 weeks isn't mine? I just smiled and said thNks for the suggestion I am in no mood to argue.

 

[Megg33k]

"You do realize that even if you get pregnant... well... it could happen again."

REALLY? I thought after 3 MC's that there was no way I could ever have another. That isn't actually a rule? Darn!

 

[hopefulmama2b]

"You do realize that even if you get pregnant... well... it could happen again."

REALLY? I thought after 3 MC's that there was no way I could ever have another. That isn't actually a rule? Darn!

I guess just in case we have any hope they want to smash it just in case? Why would someone say that?

 

[Fizzio]

My Mum said to me today "well you didn't want a disabled baby did you" I then got upset and she wondered why!!

 

[becstar]

I have had 'it wasn't meant to be' and 'there was probably something wrong with it' and 'these things happen for a reason' and you've had one baby, so at least you know you can' and 'onwards and upwards.' I KNOW people don't know what to say and that they do care - but seriously?

 

[Sher8907]

I have had countless people tell me "God was only doing you a favor; The baby probably had something wrong with it" or "You are not the only one that goes through this, so stop crying & be happy."

Words cannot even describe how I feel when I hear stuff like that... I always reply "Even if there was something wrong with my baby, I would still love her or him the same." or "I know that I'm not the only one going through this, but does that mean I cannot grieve?"

The first fewtwo miscarriages I had, Keith (my fiance) was not totally understanding.. He told me I should be happy & that it just was not meant to be.. Thank goodness he has finally started to understand more, but I cannot be as lucky with others......

 

[CKH]

My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. The worst thing was the Dr came in and told us like this with a big smile "you have a pseudo pregnancy (an empty egg). It shouldn't bother you, just remember there never was a baby" ...having all those hormones still in me, i really wanted to deck her in the face, because in my mind there was a baby for 12 weeks, I felt like it was my fault, and never dealt with my emotions properly. It was hard. the miscarriage lasted for 40 days before I went to the ER..I was so angry with the DR I didnt want to see another one and wanted nature to take its course.

 

[CKH]

I have had countless people tell me "God was only doing you a favor; The baby probably had something wrong with it" or "You are not the only one that goes through this, so stop crying & be happy."

Words cannot even describe how I feel when I hear stuff like that... I always reply "Even if there was something wrong with my baby, I would still love her or him the same." or "I know that I'm not the only one going through this, but does that mean I cannot grieve?"

The first fewtwo miscarriages I had, Keith (my fiance) was not totally understanding.. He told me I should be happy & that it just was not meant to be.. Thank goodness he has finally started to understand more, but I cannot be as lucky with others......

I know how that is, my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage was last year in June. I just found out Im pregnant again, and right after the dr told me I broke down crying. My husband didn't understand,but its so hard to be excited when I know what could happen. I know I shouldnt think like that but its hard after going through such a traumatizing event. I have been spotting a little whenever I do ANY physical activity even just something small like grocery shopping :/ it has really been scaring me, and he is not being very supportive just telling me its normal..because he knows. *rolls eyes