The most common response I've had that makes my blood boil everytime is "if it wasn't meant to be, it's not meant to be".
Excuse me? My baby will always be meant to be.
And coming from my mother it's "I know you don't believe in a higher power, or God, but everything happens for a reason."
Are you bloody surprised I don't believe in God when things like this happen for no apparent reason.
We're hurting, we've lost a part of ourselves that we can never replace, how is saying that they weren't meant to be, weren't meant to live, to exist, how is that a comfort?
My nan's response was "There'll be plenty more". But there will never be this child again, why don't people understand that? Another baby will bring joy and happiness but they will never fill the gap left by this baby.
My sister's only words to me since have been "Well you seem to be doing fine".
Excuse my language, but of course I fucking am. I have to be fine. I have a 9 year old who can't see me fall apart, I have everyone watching my every move incase I indicate to anyone that something might be wrong. If I don't seem fine then I get sighs, looks and "come on, stop being so maudling".
Maudling?? No, its called trying to greive.
It makes me so angry, I'm angry at the world anyway for taking my baby from me, so why say things that make it worse?
I understand rationally and logically that there is nothing right that people can say or do in these's situations, but that doesn't take the situation away, it doesn't mean we can just sweep it under the carpet and forget... and the suggestion or implication that we should, to let other people feel better, almost hurts as much.
There are no right words or anything anyone can do to make it better or take it away, I think only a hug or "I'm sorry for your loss" would have been more positive responses for me.