Many couples who experience miscarriage are subjected to thoughtless comments from people who probably mean well but don't understand that what they're saying not only doesn't help but may hurt the feelings of someone who has miscarried. Here are some examples of things you should not say to someone who has had a miscarriage:
- It was for the best
- At least you know you can get pregnant
- Something was probably wrong with it
- Maybe God knows you are not ready to have children
- You're trying too hard. Just relax, and it will happen.
- Take my kids for an afternoon, and I promise you won't be so sad about losing the baby.
- Be glad. Having a baby changes your life; think of all the fun things you wouldn't have been able to do anymore.
- You should just be happy you have one/two/three children already. You don't need anymore.
- it was just a blob of cells. It wasn't a real baby.
- You're young. You'll get pregnant again
- It happens all the time; it's nothing to worry about
- At least you weren't very far along
- It wasn't meant to be
- It probably happened because ______________.
I can add another one to the list:
"how are you now after your... well.. erm I don't know what you'd call it actually?"![]()
Many couples who experience miscarriage are subjected to thoughtless comments from people who probably mean well but don't understand that what they're saying not only doesn't help but may hurt the feelings of someone who has miscarried. Here are some examples of things you should not say to someone who has had a miscarriage:
- It was for the best
- At least you know you can get pregnant
- Something was probably wrong with it
- Maybe God knows you are not ready to have children
- You're trying too hard. Just relax, and it will happen.
- Take my kids for an afternoon, and I promise you won't be so sad about losing the baby.
- Be glad. Having a baby changes your life; think of all the fun things you wouldn't have been able to do anymore.
- You should just be happy you have one/two/three children already. You don't need anymore.
- it was just a blob of cells. It wasn't a real baby.
- You're young. You'll get pregnant again
- It happens all the time; it's nothing to worry about
- At least you weren't very far along
- It wasn't meant to be
- It probably happened because ______________.
I can add another one to the list:
"how are you now after your... well.. erm I don't know what you'd call it actually?"![]()
Are people really that awful, now I am scared to start telling everyone, so sad!
Many couples who experience miscarriage are subjected to thoughtless comments from people who probably mean well but don't understand that what they're saying not only doesn't help but may hurt the feelings of someone who has miscarried. Here are some examples of things you should not say to someone who has had a miscarriage:
- It was for the best
- At least you know you can get pregnant
- Something was probably wrong with it
- Maybe God knows you are not ready to have children
- You're trying too hard. Just relax, and it will happen.
- Take my kids for an afternoon, and I promise you won't be so sad about losing the baby.
- Be glad. Having a baby changes your life; think of all the fun things you wouldn't have been able to do anymore.
- You should just be happy you have one/two/three children already. You don't need anymore.
- it was just a blob of cells. It wasn't a real baby.
- You're young. You'll get pregnant again
- It happens all the time; it's nothing to worry about
- At least you weren't very far along
- It wasn't meant to be
- It probably happened because ______________.
I can add another one to the list:
"how are you now after your... well.. erm I don't know what you'd call it actually?"![]()
Are people really that awful, now I am scared to start telling everyone, so sad!
first off, i have to say, not everyone is that awful.. it depends on the kind of people you know.. but unfortunately you can never know what kind you have till they show you..
the only not nice thing really SAID to me so far (i've had a few fights over things that are being DONE but not said.. long story) was that i "wasn't ready" and when i politely told her that i was ready and my readyness had NOTHING to do with why my baby died, she then messaged me privately to say she meant i wasn't physically ready.. and i'm like "okay.. but thats still ME and my fault.. i was ready.. back off.
Hey girls, can't believe I'm posting in this part of the forum, I never thought i'd be so unlucky. 14 months ttc, millions of hospital appointments, hundreds of £'s spent on TTC (tests, supplements, drinks, etc) doing everything by the book and it still wasn't enough.
lost baby at 8 weeks 2 days and I feel like everyone has said every single sorry sentance out there, the worst I've heard is "it's god way of saying it just wasn't meant to be just yet" - HELLO! I'm an athetist, just because baby is no longer here doesn't mean I'm turning to religion.
I know no one means any harm by what they're saying, it's their way of reaching out but I'd just love it for someone to say "there's just no words which will help" and leave it at that. It will get better with time I know that but for now I just want to say bye to my baby at my own pace and not think maybe it's a god thing!
Hey girls, can't believe I'm posting in this part of the forum, I never thought i'd be so unlucky. 14 months ttc, millions of hospital appointments, hundreds of £'s spent on TTC (tests, supplements, drinks, etc) doing everything by the book and it still wasn't enough.
lost baby at 8 weeks 2 days and I feel like everyone has said every single sorry sentance out there, the worst I've heard is "it's god way of saying it just wasn't meant to be just yet" - HELLO! I'm an athetist, just because baby is no longer here doesn't mean I'm turning to religion.
I know no one means any harm by what they're saying, it's their way of reaching out but I'd just love it for someone to say "there's just no words which will help" and leave it at that. It will get better with time I know that but for now I just want to say bye to my baby at my own pace and not think maybe it's a god thing!