I officially faced my worst what not to say... friend and I were discussing the sad sandy shooting and i said " i can understand a loss, my miscarriage was devastating" and she told me it doesn't count. Needless to say we are no longer friends. Wasn't trying to compare losing an actual child and m/c, was just saying I understand the feeling of loss..apparently my m/c doesn't count because it was only 5 weeks GRRRR. With friends like that, you don't need enemies.
I've had two miscarriages myself (the first at 9 weeks and the second at 5 weeks) and I already felt the bond both times. Losing a baby by miscarriage brings its own sadness as we never even had the opportunity to see or get to know them. Obviously not the same as losing a child in such a horrific way as the way in which the parents of victims murdered at Sandy Hook, but life is life whether still in the womb or not. I don't think people who have never experienced a mc can truly understand. Yet sometimes, even people that have gone through mc's can be even more insensitive.
In my experience, the friends who got pregnant unexpectedly have been the most supportive and caring. The friends that had difficulties and/or mc's were the one's who didn't provide much support. One told me that it must be God's way of telling us we will be horrible parents...that ended our friendship.
