who will be at your baby's birth?

[jac33]

my oh and i'd like my mum too as she can keep me calm and I think my oh will be a wreck

 

[laughingduck]

I was given a sheet to fill out for the hospital and told I could only have 2 people in the room and to list who I wanted. I put down OH and my mother. However, I'm not entirely sure if I want my mom in the room with me. I think I'll have to play that one by ear and see how I'm feeling at the time!

 

[firsttimer87]

my OH and also my mum/sister who can take turns keeping me sane lol. I wouldn't be able to o it with just OH, I dont think I could cope with just him as he wouldn't know how to handle me lol xx

 

[PugMama22]

Just me and my dh! We will call everyone to come visit after we are all cleaned up and settled down.

 

[EstelSeren]

I'm just having my husband with me! I'm in 2 minds still as to whether I'll even let my mum know I'm in labour! She lives a 3 1/2 hour drive away and I don't want her to worry- plus she stresses me out! Neither me nor my husband will probably be concerned with phoning people until after I've given birth anyway, I'd imagine!

Beca :wave:

 

[Blah11]

Just me so far - but my MW will be there and I am contemplating hiring a doula.

OH is an amazing hubby and the best dad in the universe (Really! He's amazing!), but he's not too great in a hospital setting lol. He got so stressed out during labour that it made things difficult last time. So we haven't decided yet what will be the best thing this time around! xx

Same here. OH was just very tired and went white as a sheet. He had to go home for a nap actually so very glad my mum was there. She was very supportive and just fab

 

[Lara310809]

My husband and my MIL.

My family all live in the UK, so none of them can be here for the birth.

My MIL used to be the head of the maternity ward before she retired. She always said she wouldn't be involved in my labours, because she wouldn't be able to make unbiased decisions about the baby or about me, if it came to an emergency situation. But when I went into labour with my daughter, she was fantastic. She stayed with us through it all. THey don't teach you about breathing techniques until you get to hospital here, so I had no clue what to do and I was panicking and hyperventilating. TBH if you get the breathing right, it can help a whole lot with the pain. She had to coach me at home, and she was incredible, especially when my OH got worried that I was in so much pain. He was silent, not knowing what to do, but she was like a rock and never stopped guiding me. I don't resent my OH reacting like he did; he admitted that it was due to him being so worried and knowing he couldn't help me.

LOL, since she used to work there, after my dauighter was born she helped out with the third stage aswell (delivery of the placenta) and she was examining it and everything. Pretty gross, but I didn't care at the time, and I don't now either.

I've already asked her to be there for this next labour

 

[AmberS]

My mom and my dad and my husband will be there. Maybe one of my sisters, im not sure yet

 

[Frecks]

Just my oh, my mum is insisting on being in the hospital but without sounding mean, she will do my head in and I want to be calm. She voices her opinions a lot and I'd rather it just be special for me and oh x

 

[Cherrybinky]

My OH. Id die if anyone else was there! Ive also put on the birthing plan where it gave me the option: no students in the room either.

 

[jacks mummy]

my OH and my mum, my OH like alot of men it seems wasnt great when i had my son not that he was mean to me or anything just scared to death i think (good job men dont have to give birth really!!) he was white as a sheet and by the end of it had loads of spots on his face (from the stress i think lol) he looked worse than me!! he did try tho but he just didnt no what to do.. my mum is great in this situation so im glad she will be there for me! my dad will be looking after my son from word go as i dont want my 4yr old to see me in ANY pain at all so once i no its happening he will be going there then im hoping to wait most of it out at home this time and go in when i really need some gas and air lol xxx

 

[sunshine623]

Just me and my hubby. Maybe one of my sisters at some point to relieve my DH, but during the actual birth, just he and I. My mom and MIL really want to be there, but my mom (even though I love her dearly) will get on my nerves really bad in that sort of situation. My MIL wouldn't bother me, but I can't let her in without letting my mom in, too.

 

[lynnikins]

just me and OH and the MW , ive had 2 births with student MW's there and neither time were they much help tbh lol so decided now ive done my bit this ones all mine lol. thankfully my family are all out of the country and if they did come for december then they would be watching the boys at home not near the hospital at all

 

[ellie27]

Me and OH only as well as any medical team necessary.

Anna will have to be left with her Gran and they can come visit a couple hours later

 

[halloween bby]

Just my OH. Other family will be at their homes but obviously will let them know as soon as little one is here.

 

[HollieQ]

Just me and my dh, we're not even telling relatives that we're in labour lol, will ring them when it's all done! Just want it to be very personal, just the 3 of us.

I'm so mean! I don't want any visitors for a few days either because I want us to settle the baby in at home, enjoy the precious first few days just us, and let the dogs get used to him/her too before the chaotic visiting begins! Luckily all our relatives live miles away so they won't be able to drop everything anyway.

 

[Mary Jo]

I kind of wish I could have an experienced friend with me, someone who'd done an epidural-free natural birth and who I wasn't shy around, but I don't have anyone, and I don't really want to hire a doula. I said I didn't really mind if my husband wasn't at the birth (if he has to look after our son) and that's because I didn't think he was all that much help when I had Adam. (I'd never deny him the experience of seeing his child come into the world, though.) Part of the problem was that I was in early labour by myself overnight on the antenatal ward and the staff sent him home. That was when I really needed him, or someone, to get me through, keep me going, buoy me up. As it was after hours all by myself in pain, with no support, I just wanted it to be over, and I requested an epidural. This isn't something I regret, really, it was the right choice for me at the time, but if I was to do it over again I would like someone else's support to push on through. Thing is, my husband loved the epidural because it meant I wasn't a screamer, and I was no bother to him, so I don't think he'll support me if I choose not to have one. He thinks, why suffer if you don't need to? I hope this time for things to progress faster so it's not an option.

 

[sun]

I kind of wish I could have an experienced friend with me, someone who'd done an epidural-free natural birth and who I wasn't shy around, but I don't have anyone, and I don't really want to hire a doula. I said I didn't really mind if my husband wasn't at the birth (if he has to look after our son) and that's because I didn't think he was all that much help when I had Adam. (I'd never deny him the experience of seeing his child come into the world, though.) Part of the problem was that I was in early labour by myself overnight on the antenatal ward and the staff sent him home. That was when I really needed him, or someone, to get me through, keep me going, buoy me up. As it was after hours all by myself in pain, with no support, I just wanted it to be over, and I requested an epidural. This isn't something I regret, really, it was the right choice for me at the time, but if I was to do it over again I would like someone else's support to push on through. Thing is, my husband loved the epidural because it meant I wasn't a screamer, and I was no bother to him, so I don't think he'll support me if I choose not to have one. He thinks, why suffer if you don't need to? I hope this time for things to progress faster so it's not an option.

My OH would really have liked for me to get an epidural as well, because he was SO freaked out that I was in pain and was just stressing me out so much. He was 5h away when I went into labour so didn't get there until things were really moving, so he was a wreck and not helpful at all.

I feel the same - I would rather he wasn't there really as it was harder for me, but I will not tell him he can't be there. He is thinking of updating people and doing other things while I labour and coming in for the pushing only actually - which I am ok with as it will let me focus more on what I'm doing and not worry about him.

But this is the reason we are considering a doula - I had a student with my last labour who was a rock and with me every second! It was amazing as she had children and had been at many births so she wasn't freaked out about birth stuff (blood, pain, weird noises, etc ) I don't think I would have had the birth I wanted without her. So this time I am going to hire a doula! I need that rock - and it is much better for me if they aren't friends/family.
Her job is to help me through no matter what - whereas with friends/family it can get weird.

Hugs! xxx

 

[Hevalouaddict]

I'm so glad you posted this thread. I want my oh there but he says if he can't get the time off work i'll have to get someone else. All my family live in a different town so I can't ask them but I don't really want the mil or sil there cos they'll annoy me. Do you think it's reasonable for me to ask my oh to check with his boss that when I go into hospital he should be aloud to leave work to support me? Sorry for the length but I really want it just me and him.

 

[sequeena]

My husband. Anyone else will be useless.